Since
@Gamisch tagged me, I'll chime in.
A soft smile and/or subtle eye contact are IOIs not direct hits.
When I used to go to clubs and singles events (I'm currently in a RL) and a particular man caught my eye and I felt a certain "pull," I'd give such non-verbal IOIs, a "window" so to speak and he would approach.
Not always often times I didn't need to and he would randomly approach, but the downside of that was I was typically
not interested in those guys.
@tksniper has some great posts discussing 'windows' women can open ever so slightly so men feel more confident approaching especially very beautiful women. Subtle IOIs.
IF after talking for a bit and it's obvious we're clicking and vibing, there was/is NO need for me to say a word; he knew my interest and attraction based on my body language, the way I look at him, talk to him, mirror him, etc. And I knew/felt HIS attraction for me as well for same reason.
Most communication being non-verbal and all.
When I am extremely attracted to a man, all this is subconscious,
instinctive and very difficult to try and hide! I am blond and fair-skinned and have even been known to blush! LOL Which was always a dead giveaway but the guy loved it and would move forward with his pursuit .
I am and never was into playing a "make him guess" or "he needs to 'work' for me" or "hard to get" game.
My personality is naturally elusive, a bit guarded and a mystery to many men on its own! Which I'm working to resolve (even with my bf), so why in the world would I want or need to play those silly coy, aloof, make him chase me games and make it more difficult for him?
Once we begin dating and I feel safer emotionally, I have no problem initiating from time to time. My feeling is we are in this
together. As such we
both make effort and show interest. In different ways.
I am not sure I agree with the stance "men are hunters who pursue their prey." I know what BE meant but even so IMO wild animals quietly stalk and hunt prey.
Men are human beings with emotions and sometimes especially around a beautiful woman, in my experience they can feel nervous and uncertain, even a bit vulnerable and for ME, I like and prefer that type of man.
Versus the aggressive, bold, overly confident and c0cky type of man who believe women are their prey that need to be hunted and captured at any cost. They disregard signals indicating lack of interest or even the woman having a boyfriend or with another man.
I have been with those types and while they had a certain appeal when I was younger (early-mid 20s), I find them overbearing and even disingenuous now (30s). A turn.off.
I find a little nervousness and vulnerability endearing and more genuine and tend to trust it more.
A combination of alpha and beta, with a bit more alpha but certainly at least some beta.
Anyway...
To each her own, we are ALL different in wants, needs and desires.
$.02