The negative attitude towards age-gap relationships is actually a very recent cultural shift

[FlexpertHamilton]

If you go back as recently as the 90s and watch shows like Seinfeld or Loveline, age gap relationships are not really portrayed as a bad thing. If 25+ year old man was with a 17 year old, he was not automatically considered a "creep", and on the flipside a woman in her 20s or 30s was not automatically labelled a goldigger for being with a man in his 50s or 60s.

This new attitude that has emerged towards age gap relationships, shame, disgust, calling the man a "groomer", a predator/pedo, or calling the woman a golddigger, is actually a recent sentiment in our culture that seems to be born out of the modern feminism and gyno-centric sentiments in general. It's very obvious to me that it's nothing more than an attempt by older woman to eliminate younger woman out of the competition via shame.

The most annoying part of this is that now many men seem to share the same mentality. If a 35 year old man wants to sleep with an 18 year old, other men will literally call him a pedo. It's total nonsense. I was wondering if any of the older members have noticed this. It's even more apparent the farther you go back, in the 70s for instance this sort of thing was actually common, and the idea of a 20+ year old man with a 16 year old wasn't even questioned as far as I can tell.

Someone might try to make the argument that fictional shows are a good source for this claim but quite the contrary, one of the best ways to get a sense of our cultural values over time is to go back and watch media from different time periods, especially when they're not even the subject of it but merely an incidental part of the story. And in the case of Loveline for instance it was with real callers.

 

[characternote]

k, in the 70s for instance this sort of thing was actually common, and the idea of a 20+ year old man with a 16 year old wasn't even questioned as far as I can tell.

You don't need to go that far back. In the UK at least, when I was in school in 90's, many of the 15 year old girls would get picked up from school by their 25 year old boyfriends in their cars. This would happen in view of teachers! It wasn't an issue. Nothing was ever said about it by the teachers. It just wasn't a 'thing'

And yes, even in the 2000's, I remember lots of shows that showed 18 year olds with 30 year old men (king of queens, 2 and a half men etc) and it wasn't considered weird. If a show showed age gaps like that now, there'd be angry articles about it lol

But yes, there's been a massive shift. I mainly see it online

A 17/18 year old girl will post a provocative pic. Men in their 20's and 30's are like 'damn!' and then many men and women do the usual 'you need your hard drive checked!!!' lol.

ps - slightly off topic, but another thing i notice is that you are no longer allowed to say a girl is pretty if she is underage.
When I was a little kid, I remember random men who were friends of my mum etc telling her that my sister (her daughter) was pretty. It wasn't considered weird at all. Just a compliment.

But nowadays, I notice if someone comments on a girl being pretty if she is a kid, there's the same outrage lol ("hard drive check!!!", "dude, she's about 11!!!!"). Makes me wonder if people will soon realise that child modelling involves adults first considering the girls to be pretty!

I've never really let this change effect me. I still go for the girls I want. I was seeing a girl a year or so back who, if I was famous, i'd never mention our ages as i'd be 'cancelled' big time! I've always personally thought it was obvious (and scientific?) that men will always be attracted to pretty girls who have hit puberty. Here in the UK the age of consent is 16 and we don't have any age gap laws, so you could be 100 and still bang her if she wanted too! Although even though it's legal, in the last few years it would be considered extremely wrong. In fact, a guy got murdered a few months back for trying to hook up with a 16 year old girl when he was like 30. The kids who murdered him assumed it was completely illegal. Don't even know the laws of their own country, of course

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

You don't need to go that far back. In the UK at least, when I was in school in 90's, many of the 15 year old girls would get picked up from school by their 25 year old boyfriends in their cars. This would happen in view of teachers! It wasn't an issue. Nothing was ever said about it by the teachers. It just wasn't a 'thing'

And yes, even in the 2000's, I remember lots of shows that showed 18 year olds with 30 year old men (king of queens, 2 and a half men etc) and it wasn't considered weird. If a show showed age gaps like that now, there'd be angry articles about it lol

But yes, there's been a massive shift. I mainly see it online

A 17/18 year old girl will post a provocative pic. Men in their 20's and 30's are like 'damn!' and then many men and women do the usual 'you need your hard drive checked!!!' lol.

ps - slightly off topic, but another thing i notice is that you are no longer allowed to say a girl is pretty if she is underage.
When I was a little kid, I remember random men who were friends of my mum etc telling her that my sister (her daughter) was pretty. It wasn't considered weird at all. Just a compliment.

But nowadays, I notice if someone comments on a girl being pretty if she is a kid, there's the same outrage lol ("hard drive check!!!", "dude, she's about 11!!!!"). Makes me wonder if people will soon realise that child modelling involves adults first considering the girls to be pretty!

I've never really let this change effect me. I still go for the girls I want. I was seeing a girl a year or so back who, if I was famous, i'd never mention our ages as i'd be 'cancelled' big time! I've always personally thought it was obvious (and scientific?) that men will always be attracted to pretty girls who have hit puberty. Here in the UK the age of consent is 16 and we don't have any age gap laws, so you could be 100 and still bang her if she wanted too! Although even though it's legal, in the last few years it would be considered extremely wrong. In fact, a guy got murdered a few months back for trying to hook up with a 16 year old girl when he was like 30. The kids who murdered him assumed it was completely illegal. Don't even know the laws of their own country, of course

The legal aspect is definitely bemusing to me. I remember dating a 17 year old when I was 21 and all my friends thought it was statutory rape despite the fact that our states age of consent was 16. I don't think people understand how that law works.

Another thing I just remembered too, back in the day there was a subreddit /r/jailbait, which is exactly what it sounds like. Literally one of the default subreddits that would appear on the front page. That was as recently as like 2010 or so I believe.

 

[characternote]

People are literally NPCs now, all their beliefs and values are programmed into them by society.

Basically this. It's only 'wrong' in their opinion, if they are told it's wrong. Even if it wasn't 'wrong' 5 years ago.

 

[Plinco]

I'm not 100% sure but I believe that there was always some degree of intrigue with relationships with big age gaps, even a hundred years ago.

What you see now is driven by shame that is coordinated by women to ensure that older women get access to resources. People surrender themselves to the shame because they feel it's "easier" to be an NPC.