100% seriously: should I give up?

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

BPH is on the gnats ass at 1,000m. How well you can affect change in YOUR life and YOUR environment will have the biggest impact on women sticking around. More than your looks, money, or game. You can have high income and low impact on your surroundings. Same with looks and also with game. If you're wanting feedback and do nothing with it, it's not going to encourage those who really are worth their salt to chime in.

If you hair is that long and you've no desire to cut it, you need to add some flair to it. I'd say some tribal braiding or the entire sidelock (one side or both) braided. I've got longer hair too, and from what I understand, the women love it. ON ME. But mine stops at around between my shoulder blades. If it were short, it'd be a "high and tight," but I've just let it grow and have it pulled back. I take a straight razor to the sides. It looks edgy, masculine, primal and adds to my intense demeaner. I also wear a lot of leather due to being a biker. I counterbalance and throw them for a loop when I flash a smile or give them wit.

If you're going to be eccentric, you've got to make it stand out in more ways that don't scream "I'm an Emo Sampson.", "I go to a salon and can recommend conditioners better than yours" or "My pronouns are ___/___." Not trying to poke fun for poking funs sake, but cmon' man. You can still have rockstar hair, but if it's just long and not really styled in a masculine way? IDK man. You could also put tribal or novelty metal beads in it? But if you don't have the income for turquoise, silver or bronze maybe opt out of the bead thing. Seriously though, it's all for naught if you put all your eggs in one basket. Your hair.

Go for an overall "look" that is masculine. What sort of folklore characters do you consider bad ass that others do too? Cloud? Rollo from Vikings? I'd start a calisthenics program (joining a gym is more ideal but that costs) and increase your calories. Being skinny almost svcks more than being fat (ask me how I know) and being a long haired dude kinda doesn't pair well with that. Being someone who doesn't live in a well maintained apartment or house of his own with the ability to take women out on his own means screams volumes to these women what isn't spoken out loud as well man.

There are several things that can work positively from one feature setting you apart. It's been said more times in my absence than I can recount (Oh! He's the dude with that crazy haircut, earrings and necklace thing?), but I've made that work FOR me instead of it being confirmation of me obsessing over my appearance (I really am though to an extent. lol) with having nothing else of value to women.

Your numbers are actually impressive. Most men wish they could get numbers and dates like that! What you need to do though is send them away after a first date to their girlfriends saying something like "WOW! I didn't think I'd EVER go out with him!" - "Why?" - "Girl, like, his hair! It's like REALLY LONG!" - "How long?" - "Like down to here." - "Oh my gosh! Is he ugly? Cmon' details!" - "Well, he's a cyber security professional, works from home, drives an old hearse-" - "Wait, what?!" - "Yeah, when he came and picked me up he saw me gasp and without missing a beat he says, 'oh this? It's ok, the last girl I went out with died laughing!' He's so funny! Oh! AND he bought his mother a used kia because her old car broke down!" - "WOWWWW! Awww that's so sweet of him!" - "So when do I get to meet him?" - "NO girl, he's mine! You fast a$$!" etc....

Trust me. Women talk to each other. A LOT. You WANT them talking behind your back. And one of her GFs saying something like "Ewwww...." or "He didn't say what he does? He didn't talk about where he lives?" are things that will repel women faster than slathering yourself in pig $hit. Getting out into your OWN living space and gaining the income necessary to facilitate that is PARAMOUNT. In my honest opinion, you shouldn't be expecting anything more than s3x partners with your current circumstances.

 

[intricate design]

Hmm, well you had some success just not enough yet.

what type of guy are you (jock, nerd, stoner, rich kid, preppy, skater, heroin addict, pimp, actor, athlete, etc)? I almost wonder if you are the type of guy that is not easily categorized like that. Women like to pick guys they can categorize easily. Maybe you are too vague about presenting who you really are? Putting on an act that is sorta fake?

also this could be bad advice but going to bars is a place to meet women who are hanging out and talking all night. Also nighttime is the easier time to find women who are looking for guys and just hanging out. You don’t need to run around much because everyone’s already in the bar socializing. Surprised you guys don’t talk bar game that much

 

[MR ANDREW J BROWN]

You are in a position of strength In my opinion..Breathe, take some time for yourself and keep on doing what you do.. You are lapping the guy sat with his D in hand on the couch.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Sounds like you’re already getting some results, once you throw Nightgame into the mix it’ll get better too

 

[crowolf]

Yes. Become a monk.

 

[Barrister]

No. Do not give up.

First, improve your wardrobe and get in the gym and get into shape. Not because this will by itself suddenly make woman flock to you, but because it will improve your own confidence. Also, start conversing with everyone, man and woman, when you go out. You will notice people are going to be much more positive to you than if you have a sour look on your face and sitting in the corner. If you do these things, there is a good chance you never have to take a specific step into going after women. They become a byproduct of you doing good things for yourself.

After you get a good base with your looks and wardrobe, just learning how to socially interact is the next absolute biggest thing. There is no good way to do that but to be out in public and talking to strangers and carry on a conversation. Smile and ask lots of questions. You will be surprised by the good results you get.

 

[corrector]

If I do give up, then it will be nothing but sex workers and A.I. girlfriends for me for the rest of my life, which is as depressing a prospect as it sounds to me.

You are not sure you will be compatible with using a sex worker though. Have you been with one before? Given the effort you put in with real women, I don't think you have. Most people who use escorts are lazy when it comes to women and have it as either part of their lifestyle and can't be bothered chasing real women, or are cheating on their SO. I never see someone like you ending up with an escort as a true "last resort".

What you are doing is healthy because you are not stuck with one women and are a nice and open highway. You are free to pursue other women while you are young. The people that see escorts are usually stuck with ONE woman that rejected them or treated them badly and they use it as a cope afterwards. You don't sound like you need that since you are over your ex-gf and are ready to do this again and are even open for another relationship.

Just so you know, when I used one back in the day, after a seperation with my ex-wife (ie about a month after seperation, but they were soft sessions) and had a nasty emotional upset that took me out of myself for a good of a month. If you are a normal guy (ie you sound like one), then you might end up absorbing trauma from the particular escort you were with (ie the post-nut clarity, guilt, shame, absorbing parts of her own trauma (ie history of how she ended up there, did a relative of hers or father molest her when she was young, or did she get tricked by a pimp who pretended to be her boyfriend and ended up trafficking her, assuming there was no violent coersion into that)...her trauma and her past clients integrate into your own mind and can create a possible mental disturbance afterwards.

The real question is are you built to absorb trauma from other women after an intimate encounter with them? I found out the hard way that I'm not after post-nut clarity. The idea that it is a last resort being illusonary or nice on paper but a failure in execution. Even Grok is keeping me on the straight and narrow with this, discouraging any attachments to a local escort I've been mentally drifting in my thoughts towards at times, reminding me that my troubled past and "post-nut clarity" may be too shocking to absorb again.

 

[nicksaiz65]

BPH is on the gnats ass at 1,000m. How well you can affect change in YOUR life and YOUR environment will have the biggest impact on women sticking around. More than your looks, money, or game. You can have high income and low impact on your surroundings. Same with looks and also with game. If you're wanting feedback and do nothing with it, it's not going to encourage those who really are worth their salt to chime in.

If you hair is that long and you've no desire to cut it, you need to add some flair to it. I'd say some tribal braiding or the entire sidelock (one side or both) braided. I've got longer hair too, and from what I understand, the women love it. ON ME. But mine stops at around between my shoulder blades. If it were short, it'd be a "high and tight," but I've just let it grow and have it pulled back. I take a straight razor to the sides. It looks edgy, masculine, primal and adds to my intense demeaner. I also wear a lot of leather due to being a biker. I counterbalance and throw them for a loop when I flash a smile or give them wit.

If you're going to be eccentric, you've got to make it stand out in more ways that don't scream "I'm an Emo Sampson.", "I go to a salon and can recommend conditioners better than yours" or "My pronouns are ___/___." Not trying to poke fun for poking funs sake, but cmon' man. You can still have rockstar hair, but if it's just long and not really styled in a masculine way? IDK man. You could also put tribal or novelty metal beads in it? But if you don't have the income for turquoise, silver or bronze maybe opt out of the bead thing. Seriously though, it's all for naught if you put all your eggs in one basket. Your hair.

Go for an overall "look" that is masculine. What sort of folklore characters do you consider bad ass that others do too? Cloud? Rollo from Vikings? I'd start a calisthenics program (joining a gym is more ideal but that costs) and increase your calories. Being skinny almost svcks more than being fat (ask me how I know) and being a long haired dude kinda doesn't pair well with that. Being someone who doesn't live in a well maintained apartment or house of his own with the ability to take women out on his own means screams volumes to these women what isn't spoken out loud as well man.

There are several things that can work positively from one feature setting you apart. It's been said more times in my absence than I can recount (Oh! He's the dude with that crazy haircut, earrings and necklace thing?), but I've made that work FOR me instead of it being confirmation of me obsessing over my appearance (I really am though to an extent. lol) with having nothing else of value to women.

Your numbers are actually impressive. Most men wish they could get numbers and dates like that! What you need to do though is send them away after a first date to their girlfriends saying something like "WOW! I didn't think I'd EVER go out with him!" - "Why?" - "Girl, like, his hair! It's like REALLY LONG!" - "How long?" - "Like down to here." - "Oh my gosh! Is he ugly? Cmon' details!" - "Well, he's a cyber security professional, works from home, drives an old hearse-" - "Wait, what?!" - "Yeah, when he came and picked me up he saw me gasp and without missing a beat he says, 'oh this? It's ok, the last girl I went out with died laughing!' He's so funny! Oh! AND he bought his mother a used kia because her old car broke down!" - "WOWWWW! Awww that's so sweet of him!" - "So when do I get to meet him?" - "NO girl, he's mine! You fast a$$!" etc....

Trust me. Women talk to each other. A LOT. You WANT them talking behind your back. And one of her GFs saying something like "Ewwww...." or "He didn't say what he does? He didn't talk about where he lives?" are things that will repel women faster than slathering yourself in pig $hit. Getting out into your OWN living space and gaining the income necessary to facilitate that is PARAMOUNT. In my honest opinion, you shouldn't be expecting anything more than s3x partners with your current circumstances.

Yeah.. your own space is a game changer. I think solo living is worth every extra cent. The peace of mind is worth way more than a couple hundred bucks.

 

[nicksaiz65]

The real question is are you built to absorb trauma from other women after an intimate encounter with them? I found out the hard way that I'm not after post-nut clarity. The idea that it is a last resort being illusonary or nice on paper but a failure in execution. Even Grok is keeping me on the straight and narrow with this, discouraging any attachments to a local escort I've been mentally drifting in my thoughts towards at times, reminding me that my troubled past and "post-nut clarity" may be too shocking to absorb again.

Not to derail, but real quick, so Grok will actually discuss sexual topics with you?

 

[corrector]

Not to derail, but real quick, so Grok will actually discuss sexual topics with you?

Yeah, I realize that post was a bit intense, lol I was just about to edit it down a bit but as you've beat me to it I'll leave it as it is.

In answer to your question, I was thinking of visiting an incall and I've been talking to Grok about my feelings about that. I'm a Christian, that's against my religion, I want a woman, she's like 5 min drive away and she texted me pics of her, one of her pics included her holding a cross, and I was thinking of starting a conversation about that cross she had in the pics (ie some escorts have crosses as jewlery), and this thought process has been off and on for a while. Grok is trying to dissuade me and convince me that just because an escort has a cross in her pics, doesn't make any potential encounter with her any less sinful as it is clearly written in the Bible that that is wrong. It may be easier in the mind because "she knows who Jesus is" so I don't have to feel I'm taking advantage of someone who never heard about Jesus is I were to go there....but Grok has reminded me...no no no, it's wrong...don't even go there and post-nut clarity will be terrible.

The content is not really purely sexual. It's religious, emotional, philosophical...no sexual acts were discussed above. You could talk about escorts with AI without it being sexual. Of course she offers services, including anal, and has been reported to be a very friendly escort that smels like marshmellows by other clients who visited her.

 

[YourGreatestFear]

In this time, and across these approaches, I’ve gotten 165 phone numbers, gotten 57 total dates (including instant dates and dates with my 1 girlfriend), kissed 5 women, and gotten 1 girlfriend/sex partner––who I was with for approximately 5 months before she abruptly broke up with me. (I very nearly had 1 one-night stand, too, but she changed her mind at the last minute). At present; 95% of the women whose numbers I get won’t respond when I text them, 95% of those who do respond flake on dates with me instead, non-instant dates are nigh-impossible for me to get, and no woman who I go on either an instant date or a rare non-instant date with will go on a second one with me.

26 of those were instant dates. 7 of those were initial non-instant dates. The remaining 24 were consecutive dates with the one girlfriend. Counting all of those, I've been on dates with 32 different women.

Why are you counting the dates with your gf... I'm afraid to ask, but did you actually sleep with her?

Based on everything I've read from you so far, it sounds like you're likely to be on the autism spectrum. Do you per chance: hate loud sounds and venues (physically hurt you), can't hold any eye contact, have strong routine adherence (sounds like this based on how you use the same approach strategy all the time), engage in repetitive physical actions frequently? If you were bullied in your childhood it can also negatively affect your body language and non-verbals severely unless you treat the trauma.

Your results are definitely not the norm, and I don't think they are purely because of your looks like other guys assume. Such results imply that your subcommunication is way off.

Did you work on your inner game even a little?

 

[ManlyMan]

So, folks, I have been trying to learn/do game/pickup for one entire year now. During this time, I have both watched at least half-an-hour’s worth of instructional videos every single day, totalling hundreds of hours of study by now, and approached between 3 – 15 women every single day, totalling over 2,000 women by now. I have tried to do everything right, do everything coaches tell beginners to do: muscle through the awkward phase, stick with it for an appreciable amount of time, be consistent, etc. I have zero approach anxiety, can get conversations effortlessly, and can get instant dates fairly regularly. Other than that, however, my results have been abysmal. I can’t anything beyond what I’ve just listed for ****. In this time, and across these approaches, I’ve gotten 165 phone numbers, gotten 57 total dates (including instant dates and dates with my 1 girlfriend), kissed 5 women, and gotten 1 girlfriend/sex partner––who I was with for approximately 5 months before she abruptly broke up with me. (I very nearly had 1 one-night stand, too, but she changed her mind at the last minute). At present; 95% of the women whose numbers I get won’t respond when I text them, 95% of those who do respond flake on dates with me instead, non-instant dates are nigh-impossible for me to get, and no woman who I go on either an instant date or a rare non-instant date with will go on a second one with me. To date, the aforementioned 1 girlfriend is literally the only woman who has ever gone on more than 1 date in a row with me. And from what I am given to understand, all of this is significantly below what the majority of guys who get into this are able to get after this amount of time, and this number of approaches, on average.

I have attempted extensively to diagnose what I am doing wrong, and why I can’t convert. I have self-reflected/analyzed for hours. I have asked about this in the past both here, on r/seduction, and in Game Global. I have recorded audio-recordings of three seemingly good conversations which all ultimately failed to convert, and have both examined them myself and submitted them for feedback by others. I have had a free one-day session with a professional coach. But my honest verdict, from all of this, is that I don’t have the faintest ****ing clue what I am doing wrong. By this point, I couldn’t tell you a single idea as to what I think I might be doing wrong if you asked me. I’m still watching videos, but by this point, they’re not telling me anything which I haven’t already heard a million times before, or to do anything which I’m not certain that I’m not already doing. I overwhelmingly feel as if I’ve hit my skill ceiling, and that if what I’m doing now isn’t good enough to work, then nothing I do ever will be. The only thing I haven’t done is outright pay for a full-blown professional coaching program, but I simply don’t have the five figures’ worth of disposable income to spend on something like that, and I never will.

All of this, I hope you will appreciate, does not inspire a lot of hope in the future for me. And it’s seriously starting to hurt my self-esteem.

So my question is: based on everything that I’ve just said, what do people here think my chances of ever succeeding are if I continue doing this? Do you think I can/will get better? Do you think I can/will figure out what, if anything, I’m doing wrong, eventually? Does anyone here know of anyone who got into this who had to go through multiple years and thousands of approaches in order to accumulate enough imperceptible microcalibration to start succeeding? Understand something: I don’t want to give up. I do believe, by now, that I’ve got the wherewithal to continue doing this for ten years and ten-thousand approaches, if necessary. This is my last chance for a relationship. If I do give up, then it will be nothing but sex workers and A.I. girlfriends for me for the rest of my life, which is as depressing a prospect as it sounds to me. But I’ve reached the stage where I feel like I have to seriously consider if there’s any point in not giving up. That if I do continue this for ten years and ten-thousand approaches, I’ll just be further pointlessly spinning wheels the entire time and further destroying my self-esteem. That I might simply be a hopeless case; one of those bottom-percentile men these days who simply can’t, and isn’t, going to get a partner. I’m sorry if this sounds like some sad sack whinge––I mean it 100% earnestly and soberly.

I’m not asking for tips here. Nor am I asking for anyone to either inspire or hugbox me. I just want people to give me their 100% honest assessment, based on everything I’ve said, as to whether they think I have any realistic chance of succeeding at this eventually if I continue doing it, or whether I would probably be better off just giving up. If anyone doesn’t think that I am capable, then I am able and willing to hear that.

You should be more outcome independent about it if you want to succeed. Things take a lot of time to learn sometimes and I always felt it was fun like I was learning a sport.

A few things that helped turn things around when I was still trying to learn. My internal state. No nervousness or stress etc. I tested different outfits until I found a look that worked for me. Read a lot of dating material old and new and try what resonates with you. Only keep what works.

 

[MatureDJ]

I very nearly had 1 one-night stand, too, but she changed her mind at the last minute.

It never even started for NearlyHad1NightStandCels.

So my question is: based on everything that I’ve just said, what do people here think my chances of ever succeeding are if I continue doing this? Do you think I can/will get better? Do you think I can/will figure out what, if anything, I’m doing wrong, eventually?

Your problem seems to be that you are unattractive. How tall are you? How do you rate on the WheatWaffles scale?

Does anyone here know of anyone who got into this who had to go through multiple years and thousands of approaches in order to accumulate enough imperceptible microcalibration to start succeeding? Understand something: I don’t want to give up. I do believe, by now, that I’ve got the wherewithal to continue doing this for ten years and ten-thousand approaches, if necessary. This is my last chance for a relationship. If I do give up, then it will be nothing but sex workers and A.I. girlfriends for me for the rest of my life, which is as depressing a prospect as it sounds to me.

There is nothing that says it is an all-or-nothing thing where you can't EscortMax until you give up PickupMaxxing. I've been at this for 3 decades.

But I’ve reached the stage where I feel like I have to seriously consider if there’s any point in not giving up. That if I do continue this for ten years and ten-thousand approaches, I’ll just be further pointlessly spinning wheels the entire time and further destroying my self-esteem. That I might simply be a hopeless case; one of those bottom-percentile men these days who simply can’t, and isn’t, going to get a partner. I’m sorry if this sounds like some sad sack whinge––I mean it 100% earnestly and soberly.

You've got nothing to lose by continuing to try. I would recommend PassportMaxxing.

 

[MatureDJ]

Enjoy yourself a bit. The message sounds like you turned into a pick-up nerd.

Like this guy?
(skip ahead to 4:15)

https://ia600508.us.archive.org/15/items/incel-tv/Daygame%20cringe%20%20%20A%20PSL%20Classic%20%21.mp4

 

[BPH]

You guys are wasting your time on this guy; he hasn't been online for a full week.

Probably gonna do what he did last time; take zero advice, then come back in a few months and ask why nothing's changed.

 

[BaronOfHair]

You guys are wasting your time on this guy; he hasn't been online for a full week.

Probably gonna do what he did last time; take zero advice, then come back in a few months and ask why nothing's changed.

Perhaps a more apt reply to him.the first time would've been:

"I suspect you've already made your decision, and are in search of an outside source to pat you on the back, say: "It's okay... You did your best". Well, I for one refuse to let you off the hook that easy... Stop your moaning, and get your ass back out there into the field. Unless you're 90something years of age and in a permanent vegetative state, you've got no justification for refusing to put in the effort"

 

[Jor-El]

Maybe its paralysis by analysis,definitely a thing

 

[Zontyy]

I'm not going to type a paragraph because there already has been such good advice everything BPH said to you and others such as Barrister are spot on.

Cut the hair or style it per roadking_rabbit suggestion (I would cut it but he makes a good point)
Work out in the Gym
Obtain a Job while advancing towards a career goal
Rent your own place

Half-an-hour later, I'll text them something light and non-needy (i.e... "Hi, [nickname]. It's [nickname], the guy with the cute hair from tonight. Had fun chatting with you tonight. Stay in touch!") with some emojis.

This is something a woman would say, not a man. I completely understand why BPH is shaking his head, this is cringe worthy. There are plenty of threads on how to text and many critique of other members who ask for advice please read them.

 

[Desdinova]

At present; 95% of the women whose numbers I get won’t respond when I text them, 95% of those who do respond flake on dates with me instead,

You're not building any rapport with them. The period between getting her number and going on the first date should be used to build rapport. You need to raise your value. You need to make her laugh. You need to brag about how fvcking awesome your life is. You need to engage her in fun conversation. She needs to see value in you before she is fully hooked and convinced that you're worth her time. Women you meet in random places are going to need a little extra time and effort before they're comfortable with going on a first date with you. You need to retract your date offers if you get even the slightest amount of hesitation from her. If you're engaging with her on a daily basis and the conversation is light-hearted and fun, she'll be more easily convinced that you're worth her time..

That's what you need to work on.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Sounds like you need therapy or maybe have an undiagnosed mental condition. No matter how good you look or sound, women will run once they find out that you are mentally unstable in an unattractive way.