Older guy,younger girl,level up

[Jor-El]

Not related to my situation at all,but I just wondered,in general,if the man is say 40+ and the girl is say 20+ if the older guy is still a good looking bloke, but his "target" girl is a lot younger,but not as pretty (or in extremis, "ugly") (relative to the mans looks) does his better looks but older, then "level up/compensate" for her lesser looks,but youth ? Forget why you might want to punch down for a minute,im on about the dynamic...is it better for the bloke the "worse" she is, in looks ? And is this easy/better,the more the age gap ?Thoughts ?

 

[BaronOfHair]

Not related to my situation at all,but I just wondered,in general,if the man is say 40+ and the girl is say 20+ if the older guy is still a good looking bloke, but his "target" girl is a lot younger,but not as pretty (or in extremis, "ugly") (relative to the mans looks) does his better looks but older, then "level up/compensate" for her lesser looks,but youth ? Forget why you might want to punch down for a minute,im on about the dynamic...is it better for the bloke the "worse" she is, in looks ? And is this easy/better,the more the age gap ?Thoughts ?

I'll put to you like this;

If you're a wannabe Chad like so https://youtube.com/shorts/E60ueB4dMU4?si=QrgyjEkfdrnjdLas (He makes some valid points, yet doesn't recognize the other half of the equation: Entirely too many of us MEN today aren't going out of way to even look the part either), regardless of your age, you're going to have an usual amount of difficulty reaching your goals

It's always cagey to look at the sort of person we ourselves are, before we start finger wagging at everyone else

 

[plumber]

Not related to my situation at all,but I just wondered,in general,if the man is say 40+ and the girl is say 20+ if the older guy is still a good looking bloke, but his "target" girl is a lot younger,but not as pretty (or in extremis, "ugly") (relative to the mans looks) does his better looks but older, then "level up/compensate" for her lesser looks,but youth ? Forget why you might want to punch down for a minute,im on about the dynamic...is it better for the bloke the "worse" she is, in looks ? And is this easy/better,the more the age gap ?Thoughts ?

yes it does. there are windows or drop off points. its not linear, its like steps.

 

[Jor-El]

I'll put to you like this;

If you're a wannabe Chad like so https://youtube.com/shorts/E60ueB4dMU4?si=QrgyjEkfdrnjdLas (He makes some valid points, yet doesn't recognize the other half of the equation: Entirely too many of us MEN today aren't going out of way to even look the part either), regardless of your age, you're going to have an usual amount of difficulty reaching your goals

It's always cagey to look at the sort of person we ourselves are, before we start finger wagging at everyone else

Yes,il repeat tho,this is not my situation, just a general thought I had

 

[Prepostereax]

I have difficulty conceptualising your scenario, as a woman should pass "the boner test" as a basic requirement.
ie I would partner with a mature woman who's trim / in shape anyday, especially if she has a "youthful" personality
But a fat/ugly woman, even a 20-something, is only good for edging

By "dynamic" I presume you're referring to a LTR, as opposed to plate or ONS

The concept is further muddied, as every example I can think of (and I know of quite a few), the older guy brings a lot of wealth and/or status to the table.
They also typically (not always) have a "magnetic" personality, that goes with being a high status man.

I can say that every example, even when the older guy is considerably better looking than his wife* (who isn't usually ugly, but plain, or pretty face but obese), his looks aren't the main factor, and completely overshadowed by wealth and/or status + personality.
(*I'm thinking mostly of those who, on basis of conversation & behaviour, appear to have married for love.
I can also think of examples of high status guys with young attractive trophy wives, who seem very much gold-diggers)

Only a couple of the guys I'm thinking of were chads, one married a bonable "7" (a few more could be if they weren't so short, they married plain janes or pretty fatties).
But most of these dudes with youthful non-gold-digger partners are nondescript or even downright fugly.
Although many look good & fit for their age, they can't compete with men 20 years younger on a purely looks basis.

 

[Bingo-Player]

20 year age gap is not sustainable in any way

The difference in your life experiences will be astronomical

My girlfriend is 10 years younger than me and let me assure you that is the absolute maximum gap I would ever consider again

 

[Gamisch]

Not related to my situation at all,but I just wondered,in general,if the man is say 40+ and the girl is say 20+ if the older guy is still a good looking bloke, but his "target" girl is a lot younger,but not as pretty (or in extremis, "ugly") (relative to the mans looks) does his better looks but older, then "level up/compensate" for her lesser looks,but youth ? Forget why you might want to punch down for a minute,im on about the dynamic...is it better for the bloke the "worse" she is, in looks ? And is this easy/better,the more the age gap ?Thoughts ?

Attraction = Attraction.

A 20 y.o woman can look 7 years older and a 40y.o man can look 7 years younger. To an outsider it might look like a couple with only 5 years age difference

20 year age gap is not sustainable in any way

The difference in your life experiences will be astronomical

My girlfriend is 10 years younger than me and let me assure you that is the absolute maximum gap I would ever consider again

Could be done , as long as the man understands it will be temporarily. You can easily have a fun 6 months with a much younger woman, just get the crazy idea of actually building a long-term relationship out of your head.

 

[pipeman84]

20 year age gap is not sustainable in any way

The difference in your life experiences will be astronomical

My girlfriend is 10 years younger than me and let me assure you that is the absolute maximum gap I would ever consider again

That's a very limited view of the world ... do you realize that there are couples who've been together +10years where the woman is 20 years older than the guy? Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Emmanuel Macron for instance.
A 20 year age gap where the guy is older is totally normal and natural whether you look at it from a biological & evolutionary or male-female dynamics perspective.

Oh, he's got much more life experience ... that's exactly as it's supposed to be if he's going to be the MAN and the leader of the relationship as opposed to a soy-boy and a partner.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Oh, he's got much more life experience ... that's exactly as it's supposed to be if he's going to be the MAN and the leader of the relationship as opposed to a soy-boy and a partner.

It can work extremely well, IF she's not simply willing, but EAGER to learn

 

[pipeman84]

It can work extremely well, IF she's not simply willing, but EAGER to learn

As Oona O'Neill (18) told Charlie Chaplin (54) when they got married:

• Chaplin: "Marry me so I can teach you how to live, and you can teach me how to die."
• Oona: "No, Charlie. I'll marry you so you can teach me how to grow up and enjoy life, and I'll teach you how to stay young—until the very end."

That's a 36yrs gap and from a time when being a 54yrs old male was considered quite old. Furthermore, Chaplin didn't take particular good care of his health so he definitely wasn't a young 54.
Now you have guys doing 'protocols', blasting TRT, getting hair implants, facial treatments and so on and they consider themselves lucky if at 45 they get together with a 36yrs old woman. Pathetic.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Now you have guys doing 'protocols', blasting TRT, getting hair implants, facial treatments and so on and they consider themselves lucky if at 45 they get together with a 36yrs old woman. Pathetic.

Inevitable result of so many influencers in The Manosphere inundating their congregations with the mantra: "You've been f-c-ed over by a Gynocentric Social Order, and there's nothing you can do to increase your fortunes". Men today could benefit far more from leaders who espouse a message along the following lines

0-36-forward

"Whatever happened in the past is now ancient history... Here in the present, we're laying the groundwork for a brighter future, by taking back everything that's ours"

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Charlie Chaplin was the equivalent of Elvis Presley in his day, he was one of the most famous men in the world. So the normal social rules are different for such men.

I think it is unrealistic to set that type expectation for forum members who do NOT have that kind of status.

Donald Trump, Mel Gibson & Michael Douglas all have big age gaps with their wives too.......but look at who they ARE.

Jake from State Farm is not the same. Many of these guys around here have very basic questions about how to navigate interactions with women. They don't want to take the advice offered by other men here who have exerienced success in seduction, because they don't want to hear that they are going to have to take action in some way to have a shot with much younger women.

Not saying it cannot be done.....I personally know men who can pull that much of an age gap....but these are super charming guys who are social, confident, interesting and do activities that are attractive to women (dancing, Harleys, sporting endeavors, etc.)

They have their lives together and are fun, interesting people aside from women.

 

[pipeman84]

Advice from the old lady:

Charlie Chaplin was the equivalent of Elvis Presley in his day, he was one of the most famous men in the world. So the normal social rules are different for such men.

I think it is unrealistic to set that type expectation for forum members who do NOT have that kind of status.

Donald Trump, Mel Gibson & Michael Douglas all have big age gaps with their wives too.......but look at who they ARE.

Jake from State Farm is not the same. Many of these guys around here have very basic questions about how to navigate interactions with women. They don't want to take the advice offered by other men here who have exerienced success in seduction, because they don't want to hear that they are going to have to take action in some way to have a shot with much younger women.

Not saying it cannot be done.....I personally know men who can pull that much of an age gap....but these are super charming guys who are social, confident, interesting and do activities that are attractive to women (dancing, Harleys, sporting endeavors, etc.)

They have their lives together and are fun, interesting people aside from women.

By the time he married Oona he was 54, thrice divorced and with 3 kids. So he was FAR from the image of an ideal husband and not surprisingly her father disowned her for marrying Charlie.

I found on YouTube this couple with a 38yrs age gap and the guy is a retired professor, he's not famous or rich. I think there are many more similar couples that we just don't know about, that's why when discussing the age gap topic we have to refer to public persons like Chaplin, Statham etc.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@BeExcellent "Donald Trump, Mel Gibson & Michael Douglas all have big age gaps with their wives too.......but look at who they ARE"

Yeah, I've yet to produce a phone call anywhere NEAR that iconic

Something to throw on the bucket list

 

[BeExcellent]

By the time he married Oona he was 54, thrice divorced and with 3 kids. So he was FAR from the image of an ideal husband and not surprisingly her father disowned her for marrying Charlie.

I found on YouTube this couple with a 38yrs age gap and the guy is a retired professor, he's not famous or rich. I think there are many more similar couples that we just don't know about, that's why when discussing the age gap topic we have to refer to public persons like Chaplin, Statham etc.

These couples who have big age gaps are distinct outliers any way you slice it. Chaplin was Elvis type famous. With his level of wealth & fame myriad women would have taken him on. She was a very good influence on him by all accounts too although they were only together about 15 years.

Most marriages have less than a 3 year age gap. If a man wasn't serious about getting his relationship status secured young? He misses the boat in most cases with young women. Statistics bear this out. Couples a few years apart are literally everywhere. No searching You Tube required. (Shrugs).

 

[Bingo-Player]

That's a very limited view of the world ... do you realize that there are couples who've been together +10years where the woman is 20 years older than the guy? Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Emmanuel Macron for instance.
A 20 year age gap where the guy is older is totally normal and natural whether you look at it from a biological & evolutionary or male-female dynamics perspective.

Oh, he's got much more life experience ... that's exactly as it's supposed to be if he's going to be the MAN and the leader of the relationship as opposed to a soy-boy and a partner.

Depends what type of relationship you want I prefer to be intellectually equal I'm not particularly interested in just having someone as a trophy or arm candy

 

[BaronOfHair]

In one sense, this is similar to being a mass shooter, not that I'm encouraging such a stunt:

If you're "typical"(Someone who's never held a Supersoaker, much less sharpened your aim down at the firing range with live rounds, perhaps sought out formal training, etc etc), your proverbial kill count in dating and mating will be the equivalent of a perpetrator who's casualties consist entirely of snotmongers at your neighborhood daycare... Sad, pathetic, and indicative of someone who wasn't especially motivated or ambitious

Put in the effort required(I.E. Do what's ATYPICAL, especially of most folks today)though, and your chances of becoming dating and mating's answer to those JSOC operators who successfully went toe to toe with The Wagner Group https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Khasham become exponentially stronger

 

[Clockwerk50]

I’ll start with a quick sidenote: I was out from Friday to Sunday and paid attention to the couples I saw, and I didn’t come across any where the woman was 19–23 and the man was in his 40s, though I did see some older men with women in their late 20s or early 30s but that is beside the point. The point is that I ended up at Dave & Buster’s Saturday night, and there were plenty of younger women in that college-age range, some even by themselves. In theory, if you are after this target market, you could approach if you’ve got solid game (or you’re killing it at DDR or House of the Dead), but there were also a lot of underage girls there, so that’s something to be mindful of.

As for your actual question, the SMV framework already factors in age alongside looks, money, status, personality, as well as the overall demand in the equation. For example, and disregarding the other variables for the same of simplicity, an obese 21-year-old woman might be rated low, say a 3, while a more attractive 27-year-old woman could be a 6; most men would choose the better-looking older woman in that case.

On the flip side, an older man, even if he’s fit and good-looking, can lose points due to things like eye bags, hair loss, or wrinkles, while a younger guy with fewer of those issues might rate higher overall. So, it is all relative; youth helps, but it doesn’t override everything, and neither does age.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I’ll start with a quick sidenote: I was out from Friday to Sunday and paid attention to the couples I saw, and I didn’t come across any where the woman was 19–23 and the man was in his 40s, though I did see some older men with women in their late 20s or early 30s but that is beside the point. The point is that I ended up at Dave & Buster’s Saturday night, and there were plenty of younger women in that college-age range, some even by themselves. In theory, if you are after this target market, you could approach if you’ve got solid game (or you’re killing it at DDR or House of the Dead), but there were also a lot of underage girls there, so that’s something to be mindful of.

As for your actual question, the SMV framework already factors in age alongside looks, money, status, personality, as well as the overall demand in the equation. For example, and disregarding the other variables for the same of simplicity, an obese 21-year-old woman might be rated low, say a 3, while a more attractive 27-year-old woman could be a 6; most men would choose the better-looking older woman in that case.

On the flip side, an older man, even if he’s fit and good-looking, can lose points due to things like eye bags, hair loss, or wrinkles, while a younger guy with fewer of those issues might rate higher overall. So, it is all relative; youth helps, but it doesn’t override everything, and neither does age.

Curious minded, adventurous women in their 20's open to older guys typically won't be hanging out at Dave & Busters

 

[Foe]

In the last 4 months I've banged a 24 and a 33 year old and got into a situation ship with a 37 year old and Im 47. Tried picking up a 20something on Sat but must have given the wrong vibe. Its possible to pick up but honestly would you want to date them seriously? I wouldn't.