True Romance = Wavelength

[tksniper]

I feel like the biggest downfall of the “seduction” community and manosphere sites like sosuave is their paradigm of “attraction is everything.” People in those spaces would write posts about height, looks, money, status, etc - as if you needed to be the perfect man just to attract women.

Yet women would come out in droves and claim they are attracted to “dad bods.” And we’ve all seen women go for guys who look like total losers in the clubs.

The paradigm of “Everything falls on attraction and we all need to become as attractive as we can be” is a false paradigm.

This paradigm was born from the pickup artist community of overcompensating nerds who had no idea how romance worked. These nerds inherently believed they weren’t attractive enough so their “end all, be all” panacea was “attraction”.

This is a completely insecure paradigm and not close to reality.

Think about it. Do you really think nature would create men and women not to be attracted to each other? As dumb as humans can be, that would equal human extinction. But luckily for us, nature made us fool proof-hence 8 billion humans in the world.

If this paradigm of “Attraction is everything” was true, there wouldn’t be 8 billion people in this world and counting. Men of all shapes and sizes wouldn’t be able to get laid. Yet, they do.

The real paradigm of romance is “wavelength” and “chemistry.” But wavelength does not exclude attraction, it INCLUDES it as its first factor.

Wavelength = Attraction + commonalities + connection. And all of this equals that magical word that leads to babies - chemistry.

Chemistry is what creates life in this word and the universe. And I mean that figuratively and literally. Opposite forces seemingly come together to create what the Universe needs for life to exist.

Attraction is a given between men and women (masculine and feminine). But it takes actual chemistry and two people on a similar wavelength for actual romance to take place.

Instead of giving you more theories, I’ll just give you guys a real life example.

I grew up as a comic book nerd. I would spend my weekends reading spider man comic books. At some point I became a good looking guy. At my very first job out of college, a very sexy woman got hired as an intern and she was open about being a lesbian and a comic book nerd.

She told the office that her side job was working at a comic book store. She was also open about fighting for rights for the LGBT community. Yet, for whatever reason, she would always try to flirt with me. So I thought to myself “I can convert her.” At this point I was knee deep into reading about “the game” and was heavily involved in the “pickup artist” community.

But every technique I tried on her never worked. I thought the problem was her. Then finally one day I gave up trying to “turn her out” and just decided vibe with her and asked her what her favorite comic books were. We ended connecting like we never did before. Turns out, she LOVED Spider-Man as much as I did! (Maybe even more. She had an entire collection). The “feminine woman” in her came out once I decided to simply build some rapport.

The underlying attraction and sexual tension between me and her was always there. But it wasn’t until I decided to build rapport with her on our commonalities that our chemistry truely took off (And it did. Still the most amazing sex I ever had).

So men, let this post be the death to “attraction is king.” We were all designed beautifully to be attracted to our polar opposites.

Attraction is a given between the masculine and the feminine.

What completes the actual equation is commonalities and connection. This creates actual chemistry.

And we all took chemistry in high school. We all know that life cannot exist without chemistry. And we also know that chemistry can create something from two polar opposites.

Honestly, I still feel like I did not do a good enough job of explaining my epiphany. But when I try to put it into words, it feels like a lot is lost in translation.

 

[The Duke]

I don't disagree with your message:

Wavelength = Attraction + commonalities + connection. Perhaps Attraction could be interchangeable with Wavelength.

But I do disagree with your opinion that SoSuave strictly believes "attraction" is every thing and its all about heights/looks/money/status. Sure it gets tossed around a lot, but it goes much deeper.

If you will start reading the home page of this site you will see it says something quite different in the 22 Rules:

-No, you don’t have to be rich. No, you don’t need to be famous. And no, you definitely don’t need to look like Brad Pitt.

-Let’s get real. If you can’t talk to a woman — really talk to her — nothing else matters.

-This isn’t about looks. It’s about energy, presence, and attitude.

-This final chapter gives you the tools to build a real connection


Here is a list of articles that the Sosuave owner has published and the majority have nothing to do with looks/money/status.

https://www.sosuave.com/articles/new.htm

 

[tksniper]

This principle can be inverted as well. How many times have you seen a hot woman walking around looking for attention and looking needy, or a fit guy walking around seeking validation? It happens all the time.

Both of these people are caught up in “attraction.” It’s like gold trying to become more goldish.

Attraction is just 1/3 of the equation. You also need a purpose in life, hobbies, a personality, and your own energetic blueprint. Only then can an attractive person find chemistry.

I literally see attractive people walk around trying to be more attractive all day. They have no idea they are already attractive enough. But there is no context to their attractive. An attractive female librarian has context. An attractive woman walking around randomly making eye contact with strangers has no context.

Every story you’ve ever read, every movie you’ve ever seen, there was no such narrative as “He was attractive” or “She was attractive.”

It’s more like “He was an attractive lifeguard” or “She was an attractive teacher.”

The ONLY way romance can even develop is if the attractive person has context. That attractive person has to be part of some social ecosystem.

And I think the obsession with attraction like it’s the panacea to romance and connection afflicts 99% of people.

Not to toot my own horn, but I feel like this post might be ahead of its time and eventually, people will come back to it when they’ve had enough reference experiences.

 

[plumber]

how to teach someone to be chemistry aware. how to teach how to vibe with someone.

we can tell what is needed and what we think that looks like. but we fall short teaching how; actually how the man does it if it does not come natural. if it comes natural for you/us then we have no lense to see and understand the other. they just look lazy or stupid to us and why they can not get it is a mystery.

as a man make sure your physically in tune. chemistry will not flow if its broken at the source. the source is physical. when chemistry is in tune knowledge can be gained.

take an out of tune man and set him up with the perfect romantic situation and likely he will glitch, stall and fail. only chance is if the woman sees value and moves it forward. that leaves the man as the follower... ultimately a bad position.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

You're missing "energy" from the equation OP. You can have attraction, commonalities and connection but if the energy or vibe is off, the wavelength is compromised.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

And I think the obsession with attraction like it’s the panacea to romance

People are drawn to physical attraction above all else because it's the emotionally easiest to work on.

Working on social skills is difficult, emotionally intense and takes a while.

Building legit status within any social group also takes a while and is emotionally uncomfortable for a lot of guys as it rests on top of social skills.

 

[Dr. Whiskers]

You're missing "energy" from the equation OP. You can have attraction, commonalities and connection but if the energy or vibe is off, the wavelength is compromised.

I dunno. I think vibe and connection are innately correlated. What I mean is a man's vibe and the frame he radiates is what causes the connection, when, like @tksniper proposed, the commonalties as souls is there too. Imagine being a philosopher meeting a woman who reads the philosophers and idolizes them. Imagine the bond, like sniper experienced, that would manifest instantly. That discussion would start, and neither would want it to stop. You'd both be fired up and speak enthusiatically and listen attentively with each other!

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I dunno. I think vibe and connection are innately correlated. What I mean is a man's vibe and the frame he radiates is what causes the connection, when, like @tksniper proposed, the commonalties as souls is there too. Imagine being a philosopher meeting a woman who reads the philosophers and idolizes them. Imagine the bond, like sniper experienced, that would manifest instantly. That discussion would start, and neither would want it to stop. You'd both be fired up and speak enthusiatically and listen attentively with each other!

You need some polarity in the connection, you don't want to have the same exact energy. You want the energy that intruiges her, which is not the same as having a sense of connection.

 

[Dr. Whiskers]

You need some polarity in the connection, you don't want to have the same exact energy. You want the energy that intruiges her, which is not the same as having a sense of connection.

I'm not arguing this. As a man, don't you want to have a dominant frame she surrenders to; one whose leadership she CHOOSES to follow? Because without that, it's just a friendship no different than her girlfriends. Someone she hangs out with and yaps about nothing with, not a romantic who sweeps her into an adventure.

 

[tksniper]

You need some polarity in the connection, you don't want to have the same exact energy. You want the energy that intruiges her, which is not the same as having a sense of connection.

No offense but you sound like you are still stuck in the frame of “I need to attract her” which was my main emphasis. Attraction between a dominant man and a feminine woman is assumed. The entire seduction community keeps harping on attraction because most of them don’t know what it’s like to have the frame of “assumed attraction.”

Just like a dominant salesman who assumes the sale, he mainly focuses on building rapport and creating connections and getting referrals.

 

[tksniper]

I dunno. I think vibe and connection are innately correlated. What I mean is a man's vibe and the frame he radiates is what causes the connection, when, like @tksniper proposed, the commonalties as souls is there too. Imagine being a philosopher meeting a woman who reads the philosophers and idolizes them. Imagine the bond, like sniper experienced, that would manifest instantly. That discussion would start, and neither would want it to stop. You'd both be fired up and speak enthusiatically and listen attentively with each other!

This man gets it. But it’s not about “getting it.” This man has actually experienced real life connection where attraction is already assumed and there was a “vibe” on top of that.

 

[Dr. Whiskers]

This man gets it. But it’s not about “getting it.” This man has actually experienced real life connection where attraction is already assumed and there was a “vibe” on top of that.

Sniper, I agree that your posts are ahead of their time for this place too. And I'm not sure this forum is ready for that. You're telling people how to ride the bike, but they're still at the stage where they need training wheels.

 

[Clockwerk50]

This principle can be inverted as well. How many times have you seen a hot woman walking around looking for attention and looking needy, or a fit guy walking around seeking validation? It happens all the time.

Both of these people are caught up in “attraction.” It’s like gold trying to become more goldish.

Attraction is just 1/3 of the equation. You also need a purpose in life, hobbies, a personality, and your own energetic blueprint. Only then can an attractive person find chemistry.

I literally see attractive people walk around trying to be more attractive all day. They have no idea they are already attractive enough. But there is no context to their attractive. An attractive female librarian has context. An attractive woman walking around randomly making eye contact with strangers has no context.

This principle can be inverted as well. How many times have you seen a hot woman walking around looking for attention and looking needy, or a fit guy walking around seeking validation? It happens all the time.

Both of these people are caught up in “attraction.” It’s like gold trying to become more goldish.

Attraction is just 1/3 of the equation. You also need a purpose in life, hobbies, a personality, and your own energetic blueprint. Only then can an attractive person find chemistry.

I literally see attractive people walk around trying to be more attractive all day. They have no idea they are already attractive enough. But there is no context to their attractive. An attractive female librarian has context. An attractive woman walking around randomly making eye contact with strangers has no context.

Every story you’ve ever read, every movie you’ve ever seen, there was no such narrative as “He was attractive” or “She was attractive.”

It’s more like “He was an attractive lifeguard” or “She was an attractive teacher.”

The ONLY way romance can even develop is if the attractive person has context. That attractive person has to be part of some social ecosystem.

And I think the obsession with attraction like it’s the panacea to romance and connection afflicts 99% of people.

Not to toot my own horn, but I feel like this post might be ahead of its time and eventually, people will come back to it when they’ve had enough reference experiences.

Every story you’ve ever read, every movie you’ve ever seen, there was no such narrative as “He was attractive” or “She was attractive.”

It’s more like “He was an attractive lifeguard” or “She was an attractive teacher.”

The ONLY way romance can even develop is if the attractive person has context. That attractive person has to be part of some social ecosystem.

And I think the obsession with attraction like it’s the panacea to romance and connection afflicts 99% of people.

Not to toot my own horn, but I feel like this post might be ahead of its time and eventually, people will come back to it when they’ve had enough reference experiences.

I’m a bit confused by this. On one hand, you say this principle appears in most stories and narratives, but on the other, you claim your idea is “ahead of its time,” which seems contradictory.

Also, in your first post, you said attraction is basically a given between men and women, stating that variables like height, looks, or money aren’t the main factors. But in your second post, you argue that personality, context, and purpose are necessary for attraction, which contradicts the first post since attraction is no longer a" given".

Honestly, your second post basically maps a pseudo combination of status and personality onto the standard SMV framework (SMV = Looks + Money + Status + Personality). Your first post talks about "commonalities" and "chemistry", which brings in the third-person perspective of their needs, rapport, and how they experience connection. Your True Romance/Wavelength equation makes sense, but the problem is that without actual attraction, relying only on commonalities and chemistry will usually just land you in the friendzone.

Your equation would be better like this where, if attraction is 0, then there is no romance.

Romance = Attraction × (Commonalities + Connection)

 

[tksniper]

I’m a bit confused by this. On one hand, you say this principle appears in most stories and narratives, but on the other, you claim your idea is “ahead of its time,” which seems contradictory.

Also, in your first post, you said attraction is basically a given between men and women, stating that variables like height, looks, or money aren’t the main factors. But in your second post, you argue that personality, context, and purpose are necessary for attraction, which contradicts the first post since attraction is no longer a" given".

Honestly, your second post basically maps a pseudo combination of status and personality onto the standard SMV framework (SMV = Looks + Money + Status + Personality). Your first post talks about "commonalities" and "chemistry", which brings in the third-person perspective of their needs, rapport, and how they experience connection. Your True Romance/Wavelength equation makes sense, but the problem is that without actual attraction, relying only on commonalities and chemistry will usually just land you in the friendzone.

Your equation would be better like this where, if attraction is 0, then there is no romance.

Romance = Attraction × (Commonalities + Connection)

I get stared at by women all day but I still get rejected here and there by women eve fvcking me. They were just physically attracted to me. But when I run into a woman who is attracted to me and there are commonalities and rapport/connection, they seduce me instead.

Think of it this way. ATT, T-Mobile, and Verizon all have attracted offers. The only one you are going to go with will be the one that fits your needs the most. Like let’s say you like to travel a few times a year and need unlimited overseas data. You’d go with T-Mobile.

The notion that you can just put two people that are attracted to each other in a room and expect babies is false.

Every good looking guys knows this. If there is chemistry, she treats you like a king. If there is zero connection, she can look at you like a player or use you for attention and validation.

Now you might be able to catch her when she’s ovulating and horny. But for the most part, she needs a mental/emotional connection as well.

There are women that even hate Justin Bieber because nothing he does vibes with them.

And this goes both ways. I have zero will to attempt to build rapport with a hot woman I have nothing in common with or have a personality that I don’t vibe with. I’ve met many annoying hot women in my life where I would just leave the room and never come back.

 

[Sega Genesis]

@tksniper

I think the reason why you're having trouble explaining this and why people are confused is because there IS no logical explanation for what "chemistry" is between two human beings.

It's an energy generating between them which is intangible and has very little to do with commonalities when it pertains to romantic attraction beyond merely the physical.

Friendship chemistry? Yes that's where having things in common come into play.

But romantic chemistry? Who can explain why I suddenly feel a "pull" towards one man and no "pull" towards another equal in looks and style? Often times I have felt a pull towards the less physically attractive man!

This can happen without speaking one word to each other.... before discovering whether we have anything in common or not..

Vibe? Yes. That's the energy flowing between them. No rhyme or reason. It just IS. It's typically there from the beginning.

Being on the same wavelength. "Getting" each other, understanding each other with minimal effort. THAT'S the connection. A feeling of knowing - like you have known this person your whole life or some past life if one believes in that. You can "see" them. And they "see" you!

It's powerful! And very rare when we find this, genuinely and authentically. Some people never do.

So in the meantime they go about finding people they are physically/sexually attracted to and/or have things in common with and developing relationships - casual or serious. And calling it "chemistry."

Which end up failing because they never did have true genuine chemistry and simpatico with each other - serendipity.

 

[Dr. Whiskers]

@Sega Genesis:--

Would you tell me if you observed anything specific about HOW these men moved and spoke, their manner? Did you note that their words and movements were very controlled, like they were masterminding the whole unfolding reality you were experiencing and guiding it to their will and plan, being fully conscious and present in the moment as they "executed" them?

 

[tksniper]

@tksniper

I think the reason why you're having trouble explaining this and why people are confused is because there IS no logical explanation for what "chemistry" is between two human beings.

It's an energy generating between them which is intangible and has very little to do with commonalities when it pertains to romantic attraction beyond merely the physical.

Friendship chemistry? Yes that's where having things in common come into play.

But in romance? Who can explain why I suddenly feel a "pull" towards one man and no "pull" towards another equal in looks and style? Often times I have felt a pull towards the less physically attractive man!

This can happen without speaking one word to each other.... before discovering whether we have anything in common or not..

Vibe? Yes. That's the energy flowing between them. No rhyme or reason. It just IS. It's typically there from the beginning.

Being on the same wavelength. "Getting" each other, understanding each other with minimal effort. THAT'S the connection. A feeling of knowing - like you have known this person your whole life or some past life if one believes in that. You can "see" them.

It's powerful! And very rare when we find this, genuinely and authentically. Some people never do.

So in the meantime they go about finding people they are physically/sexually attracted to and/or have things in common with and developing relationships - casual or serious. And calling it "chemistry."

Which end up failing because they never did have true genuine chemistry and simpatico with each other - serendipity.

I think you are coming from the frame of your thoughts and actions and intentions don’t show up in the physical word. Quantum physics has proven that even thoughts have an energetic vibration.

Everything can be explained. Have you ever had a weird feeling about someone and they proved your cautiousness to be true? Have you ever had a good feeling about someone and somehow you connect with that person on every level?

You are talking about energy as if it’s a mythical thing. Everything is energy. All of your thoughts, hobbies, character, intentions, paradigm, etc, is all energy. Einstein proved this centuries ago.

 

[Sega Genesis]

@Dr. Whiskers correct me if I'm mistaken but what you're alluding to is the "Game" some men employ to pull a women and manufacture a romantic connection.

Sure some men do but that is not genuine chemistry. Because genuine chemistry doesn't rely on looks, status or strategy.

Rather it's a certain energy between two people that again is intangible and warrants no explanation - it just IS.

Would you tell me if you observed anything..

I don't observe anything at least not at first. It's a feeling and when its genuine (not based on looks, style - the superficial) HE is feeling it too.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Everything can be explained. Have you ever had a weird feeling about someone and they proved your cautiousness to be true? Have you ever had a good feeling about someone and somehow you connect with that person on every level?

Yes, but it wasn't a "weird feeling."
It was my intuition and powers of perception.

I agree everything in life is connected by energy.

I was referring to energy as it pertains to "true romance and wavelength," the topic of this thread!

 

[tksniper]

Yes, but it wasn't a "weird feeling."
It was my intuition and powers of perception.

I agree everything in life is connected - by energy.

I was referring to energy as it pertains to romance and wavelength, the topic of this thread!

Energy is universal. Like energy attracts like energy. This is universal law.