What’s Next After You “Figure It Out”?

[Noctua]

Hey everyone,

I’m just wondering if anyone here has been through something similar and can share some advice.

About 7 years ago, I got really deep into self-improvement and dating. I spent a lot of time learning about communication, body language, social skills, and how relationships work. I was constantly reading, practicing, approaching womens in everyday situations, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. It became my main focus and honestly gave me a lot of motivation in life.
Over time, I reached a level where I felt confident and experienced. I met many people, learned a lot about myself, and grew a lot as a person.

Now things are different.

I’m in a great relationship with an amazing girl. We have a strong connection, and in the next year I’m planning to propose and build a family with her. I’m happy and I don’t feel the need to “chase” or look around anymore.

The problem is: I kind of miss having that big “mission” in life that pushed me every day. Something to deeply study, work on, and improve at.



So my question is:
What do people usually focus on when they reach this stage in life?

What new “fields” or challenges did you dive into after relationships and dating were no longer your main focus?

I’d love to hear your experiences.
Thanks

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Izidoro "So my question is:
What do people usually focus on when they reach this stage in life?"

Life will soon knock you on your ass, bring you to the realization that you HAVEN'T "figured it all out", and that much of what you previously believed to "know" isn't quite so

Relax... You needn't do anything. Fortuna is going to even the proverbial score on your behalf. Happens to us all, preferably on a regular basis

 

[Slowhandluke]

life has ups and downs.. However, until the "downs" happen; perhaps have better relationships with nieces and nephews? Be a mentor? Nothing last forever. Like they say, "this too shall pass".

 

[Bingo-Player]

Your job now is to face and accept the monotony of human life , many spend their entire lives running and hiding from it.

Children are the greatest escape mechanism , many will just produce as many kids as they possibly can to avoid any moments of potential intertia

The career is another escape route

Learn to accept the stillness and pointlessness of it all otherwise you will be forever restless chasing distraction

 

[BadBoy89]

I’m in a great relationship with an amazing girl. We have a strong connection, and in the next year I’m planning to propose and build a family with her. I’m happy and I don’t feel the need to “chase” or look around anymore.

The problem is: I kind of miss having that big “mission” in life that pushed me every day. Something to deeply study, work on, and improve at.
So my question is:
What do people usually focus on when they reach this stage in life?

What new “fields” or challenges did you dive into after relationships and dating were no longer your main focus?

So because you have a fiancé and want to get her pregnant, you can’t focus on a mission or improve?

Women have more power than I thought.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

What do people usually focus on when they reach this stage in life?

Some people have an ambition other than getting laid.

Figure out what that is and work on that.

 

[Gamisch]

Lol. I feel like your life is just beginning.

Cohabitation is a completely different beast than just freely dating. Marriage and kids? Yet two new layers that might bring their own unexpected shyte.

If you manage 5o keep it like this and call it status co, you're actually in a pretty good spot.

Don't ever think you've figured life out. Life is way too dynamic and she has countless ways to humble us...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What is it that drives you? What are you passionate about? What goals for your career do you have?

Those are some questions that you can think about in terms of what you should be doing.

 

[BeExcellent]

Set a goal for your own life & legacy. If you have a great gal that's wonderful, but there needs to be a program (of yours) that she can buy into, support and get behind.

THAT is what you gotta get sorted. For you. But having a plan for your life (and provide for your family) is a very important aspect of being a man. This will give her life direction as well as yours.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Lol. I feel like your life is just beginning.

Cohabitation is a completely different beast than just freely dating. Marriage and kids? Yet two new layers that might bring their own unexpected shyte.

If you manage 5o keep it like this and call it status co, you're actually in a pretty good spot.

Don't ever think you've figured life out. Life is way too dynamic and she has countless ways to humble us...

Facts...

Just like the market as a trader, the minute you think you've got it all figured out is when it teaches you the harshest lessons.

 

[Desdinova]

So my question is:
What do people usually focus on when they reach this stage in life?

My viewpoint has always been that she's decided to come aboard my ship, and now I must steer it to the next destination. In other words, now it's time to proceed with your next destination. What do you want out of life? Do you want a job where you make more and work less? Do you want to be self-employed? Where do you want to live? How many years do you want to work?

If she's a good woman, she's going to support you in every single way to get to your destination. She will take care of you when you're ill, she'll feed you, she'll give you ideas to help you on your journey, etc. That's what a woman is for. She's there to support her man as he travels to his destinations.

 

[The Duke]

Hey everyone,

I’m just wondering if anyone here has been through something similar and can share some advice.

About 7 years ago, I got really deep into self-improvement and dating. I spent a lot of time learning about communication, body language, social skills, and how relationships work. I was constantly reading, practicing, approaching womens in everyday situations, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. It became my main focus and honestly gave me a lot of motivation in life.
Over time, I reached a level where I felt confident and experienced. I met many people, learned a lot about myself, and grew a lot as a person.

Now things are different.

I’m in a great relationship with an amazing girl. We have a strong connection, and in the next year I’m planning to propose and build a family with her. I’m happy and I don’t feel the need to “chase” or look around anymore.

The problem is: I kind of miss having that big “mission” in life that pushed me every day. Something to deeply study, work on, and improve at.



So my question is:
What do people usually focus on when they reach this stage in life?

What new “fields” or challenges did you dive into after relationships and dating were no longer your main focus?

I’d love to hear your experiences.
Thanks

I can totally relate. I have always needed something that consumes me and ignites the desire to learn and become good at it. Fortunately I have a hobby that does that and keeps me on the right path.

If I was in your shoes, I would sample different hobbies and see what fits.

Perhaps
-Cars, Motorcycles, Training Dogs/Horses, Investments, History.

 

[Gamisch]

Facts...

Just like the market as a trader, the minute you think you've got it all figured out is when it teaches you the harshest lessons.

It's an absolute bloodbath.

Read a story about a guy losing 15 million...back to zero.

It's the same with women and imo that's even worse. Because with a woman you'll actually make " verbal agreements" about the do's and don'ts, yet a simple thing like " less attraction " can destroy your entire life...

 

[Clockwerk50]

Usually, people start thinking about retirement (RRSP/401K), saving to upgrade their house, planning a wedding, having children, getting a promotion, or simply following their passion. If you don’t know what your passion is, you should try reading Mindful Attraction Plan, which helps identify it… however, less reading and more doing is important, since some people spend years reading and only minutes doing.

Unfortunately, life also has ways of turning things upside down, and it will come with challenges like family members dying, losing your job, or stress from various sources. While heartbreaking, these experiences also tend to break the monotony and force growth.

I know it doesn’t sound as exciting as talking to a girl for two weeks, then being with her naked after you’ve “conquered” her and are having sex, reaching that nirvana point where you climax at the same time and feel the euphoria and dopamine hit, but such is life. Right now it is all about planning and following up on your goals.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hey everyone,

I’m just wondering if anyone here has been through something similar and can share some advice.

About 7 years ago, I got really deep into self-improvement and dating. I spent a lot of time learning about communication, body language, social skills, and how relationships work. I was constantly reading, practicing, approaching womens in everyday situations, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. It became my main focus and honestly gave me a lot of motivation in life.
Over time, I reached a level where I felt confident and experienced. I met many people, learned a lot about myself, and grew a lot as a person.

Now things are different.

I’m in a great relationship with an amazing girl. We have a strong connection, and in the next year I’m planning to propose and build a family with her. I’m happy and I don’t feel the need to “chase” or look around anymore.

The problem is: I kind of miss having that big “mission” in life that pushed me every day. Something to deeply study, work on, and improve at.



So my question is:
What do people usually focus on when they reach this stage in life?

What new “fields” or challenges did you dive into after relationships and dating were no longer your main focus?

I’d love to hear your experiences.
Thanks

Dating and relationships should never have been your main focus.

 

[Noctua]

Usually, people start thinking about retirement (RRSP/401K), saving to upgrade their house, planning a wedding, having children, getting a promotion, or simply following their passion. If you don’t know what your passion is, you should try reading Mindful Attraction Plan, which helps identify it… however, less reading and more doing is important, since some people spend years reading and only minutes doing.

Unfortunately, life also has ways of turning things upside down, and it will come with challenges like family members dying, losing your job, or stress from various sources. While heartbreaking, these experiences also tend to break the monotony and force growth.

I know it doesn’t sound as exciting as talking to a girl for two weeks, then being with her naked after you’ve “conquered” her and are having sex, reaching that nirvana point where you climax at the same time and feel the euphoria and dopamine hit, but such is life. Right now it is all about planning and following up on your goals.

Thank you, I Appreciate this.

 

[Noctua]

Dating and relationships should never have been your main focus.

I agree with you, I learn the lesson. better now than never

 

[Pumax]

Your job now is to face and accept the monotony of human life , many spend their entire lives running and hiding from it.

Children are the greatest escape mechanism , many will just produce as many kids as they possibly can to avoid any moments of potential intertia

The career is another escape route

Learn to accept the stillness and pointlessness of it all otherwise you will be forever restless chasing distraction

This single post should be in the Top

 

[Pumax]

having a plan for your life

I've notice that until you go live alone, or just exit your parents house, and your "family attendance", that start to develop automatically.

If she's a good woman, she's going to support you in every single way

Do you think women like to know clearly what a man has planned for their life?
Most of the time, you don't have a detailed plan, but you let yourself be guided by your values. That's all.
Like you don't know where the road will bring you, but you eventually know how to ride and road signs.
Also, what if she supports you, but has a hot-and-cold or any attitude that you don't like?

So guys, if you have something like a calendar, or a journal, or a dashboard that help you go back there to see which are your clear goals, feel free to share.
Like, people could write down their life path on a notebook, andadjust everyday.
So instead of a diary, you've everything a bit planned, and go back and forth to see your values.

 

[BeExcellent]

I've notice that until you go live alone, or just exit your parents house, and your "family attendance", that start to develop automatically.

Do you think women like to know clearly what a man has planned for their life?
Most of the time, you don't have a detailed plan, but you let yourself be guided by your values. That's all.
Like you don't know where the road will bring you, but you eventually know how to ride and road signs.
Also, what if she supports you, but has a hot-and-cold or any attitude that you don't like?

So guys, if you have something like a calendar, or a journal, or a dashboard that help you go back there to see which are your clear goals, feel free to share.
Like, people could write down their life path on a notebook, andadjust everyday.
So instead of a diary, you've everything a bit planned, and go back and forth to see your values.

No you don't have to know down to the micro detail day to day, but you need to have a plan and be taking action moving actively toward it. That looks different depending on your age & where you are in life.

My son (23) has always wanted to be a pilot. Since age 3. He went to & graduated college, became a military officer and is in pilot training. His wife has been with him for 6 years supporting and encouraging him in his ambitions. But my son has always had the ambition & drive to fly. He's put that into action and continually moved toward that goal.

He's faced some challenges too. The path has had obstacles. He has worked around those.

In order to achieve something you need flexibility and the ability to overcome set backs.

But you must have an over arching vision for where you are going in life. You should not be drifting.....

Writing a book, becoming a doctor, building a business, becoming an actor or musician, pursuing a sport, whatever. Build yourself a life as a man. Women are attracted to men who have ambition, passion, for something. It is the passion toward the ambition that is the attractive quality, not the fruits of the ambition.

Food for thought.