Why most online dating advice fails for men

[Cheeky_James]

you can only catfish so much lol. There's a tonne of occasions where guys will turn up for the date and the girl will more or less walk out as soon as he turns up if he's nothing like as hot as his pics (this is more for guys who literally make themselves way more handsome using photoshop and filters etc). Guys are way more forgiving and will tend to bang any girl lol

obviously if you turn up at the date and she's not actually attracted to how you look, it's over.

hmmm. I’ve been thinking about this catfishing idea.
I reckon if I didn’t drop my age too much on the bio.. and used my own face as the base, just chiseled it more and photoshopped it, maybe give myself more striking eyes, buff up my body etc

Then if I was able to get a chick really turned on with sexting leading up to the date..I’d say there’s a fair chance she’d laugh it off as cheeky behaviour on the date and bang me anyway after a few drinks. I mean she’s gone through the effort of getting ready and would be horny w anticipation before she got there. Fair chance methinks.

 

[Gamisch]

you can only catfish so much lol. There's a tonne of occasions where guys will turn up for the date and the girl will more or less walk out as soon as he turns up if he's nothing like as hot as his pics (this is more for guys who literally make themselves way more handsome using photoshop and filters etc). Guys are way more forgiving and will tend to bang any girl lol

obviously if you turn up at the date and she's not actually attracted to how you look, it's over.

Fundamental problem.


Most men don't want" professional photos " because that's NOT who they are. They will rather take a picture I'm their work outfit and call it a day.

Unfortunately that's NOT how women select. So we have a Fundamental problem where men are forced to somewhat catfish in order to get a foot between the door.

Neer forget: the standard restaurant, vacation, group photo, and professional photo profile that women have is a REFLECTION of what Chad showed them. They wanna apply/ qualify to Chad ,not to Beta Brad, and show Chad they are "on pair" with his fancy lifestyle all the while it's just a 1% reflection of their real life.

Real life= work ,home, grocery store gym and sometimes meeting with friends and family. That's it. Nobody has "bunny jumping from fancy resorts " as a lifestyle.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Bro, I barely get a match, to begin with. Even if some people irl consider me good looking (besides my grandma). Dating apps are doomed. I guess you really have to look rich, preselected or be a giga-chad / pretty boy by default. Not to mention that 90% of the women in my area are so lame, basic and superficial. I think my text-game is good. I no longer care as much as I used to. And I focus on having fun & generating emotions. But the pictures part is the hard thing for me. Got to play the vanity game, which I hate.

My fat friend met his second wife from Bumble and had a second kid with her.

Another friend, a deliverer, met his second wife on Bumble. He is jacked and tall though.

My brother routinely gets dates on Tinder.

None above are giga-chads. They are socially adept, vain, and not bad looking.

 

[CornbreadFed]

My fat friend met his second wife from Bumble and had a second kid with her.

Another friend, a deliverer, met his second wife on Bumble. He is jacked and tall though.

My brother routinely gets dates on Tinder.

None above are giga-chads. They are socially adept, vain, and not bad looking.

Exactly, either men are trolling or they just need to take a hiatus to disconnect and reset. When women can tell you are frustrated and angry, so you are cooked at that point.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Exactly, either men are trolling or they just need to take a hiatus to disconnect and reset. When women can tell you are frustrated and angry, so you are cooked at that point.

Right. All three guys mentioned are normal and not neurotic. They also don’t aim for eight to 22 year old supermodels and aware of who they can attract.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Well, my issue is partly that - I am an appreciator of beauty and I have standards

I get that. My point was the men mentioned are realistic. Their women match them. They’re moderately attractive men and happy with their women.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Yeah, most ODA is similar to the way martial arts are typically "practiced" here in The US:

Strong on fantasy, yet incredibly weak in terms of live fire applicability. This was no less true back in The 2000s, when sharp observers like David DeAngelo et al kvetched that most of the material provided men with "lines" and a few general words on peacocking, yet not much else. Same way the typical strip mall dojo focuses on providing their students with katas to practice, yet rarely discusses subjects like the criminal mindset and the legal standard of self-defense

Nothing's really changed today... Most "men's self-development" teaches men to recite Red Pill catechisms like trained monkeys, then pretend this alone will bring us relief and prosperity

 

[Gamisch]

Right. All three guys mentioned are normal and not neurotic. They also don’t aim for eight to 22 year old supermodels and aware of who they can attract.

Location Location Location.

In a city with more than let's say 500.000 people your chances will significantly increase. What also matters is how much patient a man has. Most men wanna fire up tinder and expect immediate results, and thus they'll delete the app perhaps the same day they would indeed meet their" future ex wife".

 

[Cheeky_James]

Fundamental problem.


Most men don't want" professional photos " because that's NOT who they are. They will rather take a picture I'm their work outfit and call it a day.

Unfortunately that's NOT how women select. So we have a Fundamental problem where men are forced to somewhat catfish in order to get a foot between the door.

Neer forget: the standard restaurant, vacation, group photo, and professional photo profile that women have is a REFLECTION of what Chad showed them. They wanna apply/ qualify to Chad ,not to Beta Brad, and show Chad they are "on pair" with his fancy lifestyle all the while it's just a 1% reflection of their real life.

Real life= work ,home, grocery store gym and sometimes meeting with friends and family. That's it. Nobody has "bunny jumping from fancy resorts " as a lifestyle.

great post and insight Gamish. Well done.
Been thinking a lot about OLD this past while , due to my struggles squeezing results out of it.

Decent chicks use OLD to try get with the guys they dont get IRL. They can have average looking guys /guys on their same level all day long in the real world. They don’t need dating apps to meet them.

OLD must be a fantastic and simple experience for Chad tier guys.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

To all the numbers people, what successful guy in dating is shooting his shot on anything that moves? Leonardo DiCaprio? He has a specific type of woman. Pete Davidson? Specific type of girl. Drake? Specific type of girl. Alpha Male Strategies? Specific type of girl. These guys know the specific type of women they attract the most effectively and capitalize on it.

When you make millions of dollars and are rich and famous you can do just about anything and it will "work".

Stop comparing yourself to people who have substantial advantages that you'll never have. You are being delusional otherwise.

Acting like that doesn't matter is like saying a person being ugly and 450 lbs doesn't matter.

 

[BadBoy89]

If they were smart they would be building a pipeline of women and when one fell off it would barely register instead of sending them down a rabbit hole in their mind.

Fair point.

For the majority of men, I don't think its easy to build a pipeline of decent looking single women under 35 who have 0 kids.
Now if you say build a pipeline of older women, single mothers, fat women or ugly women, then yes, its easy.

But hey, if I'm complaining, I'm probably doing "it" wrong. What "it" is, I have no idea.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Id speculate the primary reason dudes don’t get more action, is cos most men don’t put enough effort into their photos tbh.

After much time spent using apps the past 1.5 years or so , and much frustration, it hit me recently…..Women perfect and touch up their photos to an insane degree. their pics are unreal nowadays.

Ive gotten a 5-6 lays off apps in this period, but I’m not getting near any quality looking chicks, just mids. I’ve been changing up my pics all that time.. but they are all generally **** quality cos i been lazy.

OLD is 100% looks, forget the bio.
spend 10x effort on photos I reckon. Probably hire a professional.

No that's not true.

That's where a lot ofem get it wrong. Your bio IS important, probably moreso than most realize.

There is a substantial subset of women who read your bio or at least part of it before deciding whether to match and the less "hot" you are, the more important it is.

I wasn't "hot" but I had good pics and a kick ass bio and I cleaned up on OLD.

 

[Cheeky_James]

No that's not true.

That's where a lot ofem get it wrong. Your bio IS important, probably moreso than most realize.

There is a substantial subset of women who read your bio or at least part of it before deciding whether to match and the less "hot" you are, the more important it is.

I wasn't "hot" but I had good pics and a kick ass bio and I cleaned up on OLD.

Which apps did you use?
I did ok on Bumble and Tinder. But then got banned (for life!)
Then switched to this kink & swingers app Feeld. As more options for free. Which now, after much time using am convinced is a totally rigged scam app full of fake bot profiles. Or else Feeld employees in Asia pretending to be women in my city.

Switching to Hinge now.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Fair point.

For the majority of men, I don't think its easy to build a pipeline of decent looking single women under 35 who have 0 kids.
Now if you say build a pipeline of older women, single mothers, fat women or ugly women, then yes, its easy.

But hey, if I'm complaining, I'm probably doing "it" wrong. What "it" is, I have no idea.

That's because you are significantly limiting your options looking for women without kids.

After a certain age the red flag IS women without kids.

 

[Gamisch]

great post and insight Gamish. Well done.
Been thinking a lot about OLD this past while , due to my struggles squeezing results out of it.

Decent chicks use OLD to try get with the guys they dont get IRL. They can have average looking guys /guys on their same level all day long in the real world. They don’t need dating apps to meet them.

OLD must be a fantastic and simple experience for Chad tier guys.

appreciate the appreciation.

extremely overlooked topic imo. And you said it great: most men dont understand that ANY woman can get d1ck whenever she wants.

its about the d1ck she CANT get. Its kinda disheartening, but then again its better to live your life dealing with facts. When you see your "dream girl" swipe right and ofcourse you never hear from or see her again it's because isn't looking for a man to build with. You could say she might literally be there to get herself a pro baller, a 6,5 blue eyes finance guy, or the occasional Chad that somehow gives her tingles..

Even broke Chad will go through Many many painfully heartaches ,and that's again something that we barley talk about. But that's another topic

Which apps did you use?
I did ok on Bumble and Tinder. But then got banned (for life!)
Then switched to this kink & swingers app Feeld. As more options for free. Which now, after much time using am convinced is a totally rigged scam app full of fake bot profiles. Or else Feeld employees in Asia pretending to be women in my city.

Switching to Hinge now.

BITG is just playing the money game. Nothing inherently wrong with it, but let's keep it a buck shall we?

If you manage to flash your wealth AND show that you're willing to spend, then yeah, more and more women will bite.

Again, there's NOTHING wrong with that. You gotta use every tool available to you. That's why I keep saying that most men's ONLY option is to boss the F up, doing so by taking a (long) break from dating if needed and ONLY come back when they got their shyte together. You can and will always feck a woman here and there but the MAIN FOCUS shouldn't be on women any longer...

Because the worst thing that can happen ( gonna sound contradicting) is to exactly fall in love with hb7,5+ who will sooner or later instinctively feel she can do better than you...meaning you'll waste precious time and money and pipedreams on a woman who will leave anyway. .And deservedly

 

[Cheeky_James]

appreciate the appreciation.

extremely overlooked topic imo. And you said it great: most men dont understand that ANY woman can get d1ck whenever she wants.

its about the d1ck she CANT get. Its kinda disheartening, but then again its better to love your life dealing with facts. When yiu see your "dream girl" swioe right and ofcourse you never hear from or see her again it's because isn't looking for a man to build with. You could say she might literally be there to get herself a pro baller, a 6,5 blue eyes finance guy, or the occasional Chad that somehow gives her tingles..

Even broke Chad will go through Many many painfully heartaches ,and that's again something that we barley talk about. But that's another topic

BITG is just playing the money game. Nothing inherently wrong with it, but let's keep it a buck shall we?

If you manage to flash your wealth AND show that you're willing to spend, then yeah, more and more women will bite.

Again, there's NOTHING wrong with that. You gotta use every tool available to you. That's why I keep saying that most men's ONLY option is to boss the F up, doing so by taking a (long) break from dating if needed and ONLY come back when they got their shyte together. You can and will always feck a woman here and there but the MAIN FOCUS shouldn't be on women any longer...

Because the worst thing that can happen ( gonna sound contradicting) is to exactly fall in love with hb7,5+ who will sooner or later instinctively feel she can do better than you...meaning you'll waste precious time and money and pipedreams on a woman who will leave anyway. .And deservedly

you speaka da truth bro.
For sure it is better living life dealing with the facts .

That’s it. My next strategy = catfish baby, yeah!
Hey why not? I had a chick catfish me last year off the RedHotPie app ( swinger/fvck app). She had a nice lips, big tits and a small waist in her pics . (Her head was cropped out above the nose in her pics) She booked and paid for a hotel . I drove 50mins down her direction to get there after work at 10pm. Met her ourside in the half dark, and she’s wearing a big fluffy coat. In the room she took the coat off …big spare tyre /flabby fat midsection and fat ass.

I fvcked her anyway .
What was I gonna do? A hotel is a hotel. lol .

 

[Bingo-Player]

OLD must be a fantastic and simple experience for Chad tier guys.

Theres a bloke on Tiktok who is posting his experiences on it as a "chad" and has semi professional "action shots" on his profile

He's 6ft something and is in pretty good shape

There was one image of him chopping wood and putting it in a log burner that apparently seemed to do very well for him , he also had some very creative dark triad type prompts which again were doing well

He shows screenshots of what chicks message him and most of them are on par with what simply type men would be saying

One message "I'd pay for a night with you" , another " you look like trouble "

Think it reinforced for me that under the right circumstances women are really no better than men when it comes to lust especially when they think nobody is watching

But I think a key thing to remember in this example is that probably 80-90% of male dating profiles out there are really really bad / boring.

So when a decent male profile like the above does pop up AND he's exhibiting "****y / funny"

these chicks are like wild animals and women are extremely aware that every other woman will also be as interested in this type of profile which I think triggers a need in them to compete , ( much like men are for the T1ts and A$$ )

Of course we all know women love being flaky on these apps to even with these messages and matches a huge portion likely won't go anywhere. But it was an eye opener

 

[Cheeky_James]

Theres a bloke on Tiktok who is posting his experiences on it as a "chad" and has semi professional "action shots" on his profile

He's 6ft something and is in pretty good shape

There was one image of him chopping wood and putting it in a log burner that apparently seemed to do very well for him , he also had some very creative dark triad type prompts which again were doing well

He shows screenshots of what chicks message him and most of them are on par with what simply type men would be saying

One message "I'd pay for a night with you" , another " you look like trouble "

Think it reinforced for me that under the right circumstances women are really no better than men when it comes to lust especially when they think nobody is watching

But I think a key thing to remember in this example is that probably 80-90% of male dating profiles out there are really really bad / boring.

So when a decent male profile like the above does pop up AND he's exhibiting "****y / funny"

these chicks are like wild animals and women are extremely aware that every other woman will also be as interested in this type of profile which I think triggers a need in them to compete , ( much like men are for the T1ts and A$$ )

Of course we all know women love being flaky on these apps to even with these messages and matches a huge portion likely won't go anywhere. But it was an eye opener

Id believe it for sure.Truth.
I saw a similar video by the YouTuber guy PlayingWirhFire and some Chad friend of his .. showing everyone this Chads Tinder chats etc
Chads text replies to the girls were so basic it was sickening.

I’ve had girls make it easy as piss for me at times , but I won’t say they are quality chicks. So it’s the same situ w average girl or hotter girls texting Chad.

who is the guy on TikTok?

 

[Gamisch]

you speaka da truth bro.
For sure it is better living life dealing with the facts .

That’s it. My next strategy = catfish baby, yeah!
Hey why not? I had a chick catfish me last year off the RedHotPie app ( swinger/fvck app). She had a nice lips, big tits and a small waist in her pics . (Her head was cropped out above the nose in her pics) She booked and paid for a hotel . I drove 50mins down her direction to get there after work at 10pm. Met her ourside in the half dark, and she’s wearing a big fluffy coat. In the room she took the coat off …big spare tyre /flabby fat midsection and fat ass.

I fvcked her anyway .
What was I gonna do? A hotel is a hotel. lol .

There are many possibilities to catfish now that AI is getting more and more accessible.

You can literally make up any type of lifestyle. If you combine with let's say a REAL good physical build you might indeed get women to be like " ah feck it imma do him a couple of times".

Just remember to NOT fall in love..with hb7,5 with a bubbly personality, cute face and a tight vgg ...

 

[BadBoy89]

That's because you are significantly limiting your options looking for women without kids.

After a certain age the red flag IS women without kids.

So men should expand their options to connect with single mothers?