Chick resents that a friendzoned chump refused to carry her heavy bags

[MatureDJ]

 

[Mike32ct]

I’m actually gonna side with the chick on this one.

He was initially invited as part of a group game night, and others didn’t show up. She then invited him to do errands (e.g. shopping) which is totally a friend thing to do. She’s given him no indication (that I’m aware of) that she’s attracted to him at all. Nothing about this spells “date.”

It’s just carrying a bag. It’s not that deep. She’s not hitting him up for $.

Be her friend or don’t be her friend. But getting hung up on the bag thing isn’t really going to accomplish anything.

 

[MatureDJ]

I’m actually gonna side with the chick on this one.

He was initially invited as part of a group game night, and others didn’t show up. She then invited him to do errands (e.g. shopping) which is totally a friend thing to do. She’s given him no indication (that I’m aware of) that she’s attracted to him at all. Nothing about this spells “date.”

It’s just carrying a bag. It’s not that deep. She’s not hitting him up for $.

Be her friend or don’t be her friend. But getting hung up on the bag thing isn’t really going to accomplish anything.

I agree that he had missed a great opportunity to display visceral male utility - at the very least he should have made a reference that he usually only lifts heavy things for a woman he's romantically involved with, but then carried the bags anyway. She's quite a cute 30-ish chick that I would tap .

 

[Mike32ct]

I agree that he had missed a great opportunity to display visceral male utility - at the very least he should have made a reference that he usually only lifts heavy things for a woman he's romantically involved with, but then carried the bags anyway. She's quite a cute 30-ish chick that I would tap .

She’s very cute and seems surprisingly chill.

 

[Gamisch]

I’m actually gonna side with the chick on this one.

He was initially invited as part of a group game night, and others didn’t show up. She then invited him to do errands (e.g. shopping) which is totally a friend thing to do. She’s given him no indication (that I’m aware of) that she’s attracted to him at all. Nothing about this spells “date.”

It’s just carrying a bag. It’s not that deep. She’s not hitting him up for $.

Be her friend or don’t be her friend. But getting hung up on the bag thing isn’t really going to accomplish anything.

Yes and no.

It's a way to kinda break a man's frame and most men will feel this subconsciously. Many things to unpack in such a moment: how do you normally carry your bags, how does he asks, ect. Especially if you dint deal with enough women so you recognise the patterns.

Not too go to deep, but generally speaking your best bet is to carry the damn bag when u deal with a woman, and find another way to get even( ask her to make yiu an egg ik the morning ect). Never argue with them

 

[Mike32ct]

Yes and no.

It's a way to kinda break a man's frame and most men will feel this subconsciously. Many things to unpack in such a moment: how do you normally carry your bags, how does he asks, ect. Especially if you dint deal with enough women so you recognise the patterns.

Not too go to deep, but generally speaking your best bet is to carry the damn bag when u deal with a woman, and find another way to get even( ask her to make yiu an egg ik the morning ect). Never argue with them

Yeah I totally understand the “loss of frame” issue that was brought up.

I just initially thought he’s already in the friendzone, and putting his foot down on this bag issue probably isn’t going to get him out of the friendzone.

But she does seem like an otherwise decent chick to have in his social circle even as just a friend. So I didn’t recommend burning bridges on this one.

All that aside, there may be even more going on here. One thing that stood out was approximately 7:02 she said “We are trying to be friends.”

That might imply that they have a previous history. They may have dated briefly or were FWB. And he sounds butthurt that they aren’t dating or hooking up anymore. So the bag issue got him a bit triggered. That’s my best guess.

 

[MatureDJ]

All that aside, there may be even more going on here. One thing that stood out was approximately 7:02 she said “We are trying to be friends.”

That might imply that they have a previous history. They may have dated briefly or were FWB. And he sounds butthurt that they aren’t dating or hooking up anymore. So the bag issue got him a bit triggered. That’s my best guess.

I didn't catch that part. Yes, he was getting wifely action from her, but was cut off, so why should be doing husbandly action?

 

[Mike32ct]

I didn't catch that part. Yes, he was getting wifely action from her, but was cut off, so why should be doing husbandly action?

Yeah I didn’t catch that until the second time I watched it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I’m actually gonna side with the chick on this one.

He was initially invited as part of a group game night, and others didn’t show up. She then invited him to do errands (e.g. shopping) which is totally a friend thing to do. She’s given him no indication (that I’m aware of) that she’s attracted to him at all. Nothing about this spells “date.”

It’s just carrying a bag. It’s not that deep. She’s not hitting him up for $.

Ask yourself the following:

1. If that chick went shopping with a female friend, do you think she would have asked the female friend to carry her bags? Do you carry shopping bags for your male friends?
2. Had the guy asked her to come over to his house to do laundry "as a friend", do you think she would have said yes? Doing laundry is not a big deal, rigth? Women do it all the time.

My point is that there are certain things you do for your friends and certain things you do for your significant other. If a male friend asked me to carry his bag, I would laugh at him. If the same male friend asked me to help lift and move a heavy piece of furniture, I wouldn't think twice.

The girl in the video is upset that her new male "friend" would not do boyfriend-y things for her. I thinking the guy is entirely in the right here.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I agree that he had missed a great opportunity to display visceral male utility - at the very least he should have made a reference that he usually only lifts heavy things for a woman he's romantically involved with, but then carried the bags anyway. She's quite a cute 30-ish chick that I would tap .

I can assure you that as a friend-zoned, bag-carrying beta simp, you wouldn't be tapping anything.

 

[Manofrefinedtastes]

I can assure you that as a friend-zoned, bag-carrying beta simp, you wouldn't be tapping anything.

This. And, I definitely would NOT whinge about 'not carrying for a non-gf". Talk about bitchy simping! IMO. Especially following up by doing exactly that!

 

[Barrister]

To me this comes down to the “we’re trying to be friends” comment. It sounds like there’s other dynamics between these two at play. I suspect the man is tired of her sh1t in general and this isn’t the first time she’s tried to pigeon hole him into a “task” to prove himself as a “friend.”

That said, in a vacuum, carrying a chicks shopping bag isn’t a big deal. I wouldn’t miss the opportunity to be playful if asked - but there’s nothing inherently “beta” about being a gentleman. In fact, I’d probably just carry the bag without being asked if a chick was struggling to carry something or needed an extra set of hands.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Easily preventable by not saying "Yes" to a an alleged game night, where only you and some chick you have designs on are present, as dude in the video apparently did

If you fail to make your desires clear and explicit from the outset, you've no one to blame except yourself, once she relegates you to bellhop status. Same way a guy who clocks into work exactly on time each day for work, clocks out out right at 5PM, and us constantly waiting for someone else to hand out assignments is never going to be so much as PERCEIVED as upper leadership material

I say all of that not as a critique: I've been "that guy" in both of the above scenarios

 

[Divorced w 3]

there’s nothing inherently “beta” about being a gentleman.

no there isn’t. If you want to buy her lunch, carry her bags, cut her lawn, walk her dog, fix something for her, or otherwise be a red blooded male, that’s fine. It’s all in the delivery. If you’re not fawning over her and you actually are acting like a friend, that’s what’s going to separate the way the actions are perceived.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

She's trying to get benefits without paying the costs.

In other cultures, where male and female "roles" are more defined, the GF of a dude who carried another girl's bags would be pissed.

Guaranteed this dude would tap her given the chance, and guaranteed she knows it.

I doubt they are "only" friends.

There's a deeper dynamic going on.

I'd flip this around and say as a dude, avoid having female friends unless you absolutely don't want to tap them.

An absolute TRUE friend would say something like:

"Fuq you talking about. You bought the stuff. You knew how far away your car was, carry your on fvcking bags..."

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I’m actually gonna side with the chick on this one.

He was initially invited as part of a group game night, and others didn’t show up. She then invited him to do errands (e.g. shopping) which is totally a friend thing to do. She’s given him no indication (that I’m aware of) that she’s attracted to him at all. Nothing about this spells “date.”

It’s just carrying a bag. It’s not that deep. She’s not hitting him up for $.

Be her friend or don’t be her friend. But getting hung up on the bag thing isn’t really going to accomplish anything.

Running errands ain't a friend thing to do. Doing a favor when a friend needs help and/or doing something both people enjoy doing are friend things to do. Errands = chores. This dude isn't a pledge at a fraternity lmao.

People who tag along for errands don't have much going on. What dude has a natural interest in the kind of things a chick shops for?

 

[Mike32ct]

Running errands ain't a friend thing to do. Doing a favor when a friend needs help and/or doing something both people enjoy doing are friend things to do. Errands = chores. This dude isn't a pledge at a fraternity lmao.

People who tag along for errands don't have much going on. What dude has a natural interest in the kind of things a chick shops for?

I agree that guys probably don’t usually do errands/shopping with their buddies. The exception might be if you’re buying something you’re not that familiar with and want your friend’s input. Or vice versa.

On the other hand, I’ve had women friends invite me shopping mostly for company. They always paid their own way and only asked me to carry a bag if they had a lot of them. I work a lot of hours (mostly WFH), but I don’t mind getting out of the house once in a while to hang out when I’m off.

I’ve gone out to dinner and the mall with chick friends before. I’m obviously way more interested in men’s clothes, but we’ve gone to multiple stores so there is some give and take there. I know I’m in the minority here. That’s fine.

 

[MatureDJ]

I agree that guys probably don’t usually do errands/shopping with their buddies. The exception might be if you’re buying something you’re not that familiar with and want your friend’s input. Or vice versa.

On the other hand, I’ve had women friends invite me shopping mostly for company. They always paid their own way and only asked me to carry a bag if they had a lot of them. I work a lot of hours (mostly WFH), but I don’t mind getting out of the house once in a while to hang out when I’m off.

I’ve gone out to dinner and the mall with chick friends before. I’m obviously way more interested in men’s clothes, but we’ve gone to multiple stores so there is some give and take there. I know I’m in the minority here. That’s fine.

Did you get any of these gals to disrobe their newly bought clothes in front of you? Did they at least look for lingerie, trying some on so that you could give a man's opinion about?

 

[Vanderdonck]

Not a big deal. He put himself in the situation anyway. Protesting and explaining is worse than actually carrying the bag. He missed an opportunity to bust her balls.

 

[Alvafe]

I just see 2 problems, guys thinking a video over the internet is the truth, guys defending the woman