Women are usually boring how do we deal with that?

[Sega Genesis]

OK I realize I'm a bit different from most women (perhaps even most people) but for the life of me I can't wrap my brain around the concept of being "bored" and/or "entertained" in a dating situation.

What do you mean by being entertained?

I don't want/need a man I'm into and dating to entertain me NOR do I want to entertain him.

Being entertained is not what dating/ relationships should be about; when you're with the right person (for you and vice versa), there is no such thing as being "bored" or "entertained."

Just being in their presence is enough even if you're doing nothing by lying together under a tree at a park reading Shakespeare or simply enjoying nature together!

Some of the best and most intimate moments I've spent with a man (my bf/husband) were spent doing absolutely nothing but "being together."

Hell, if I wanted to be "entertained" I'd go to the circus or a show ffs.

And if a man I'm dating requires ME to entertain him so as not to be "bored," he's not the man for me. And most likely vice versa.

That said none of my SO's ever found me 'boring,' and it's not because of my intelligence, intellectual ability, good conversation skills or sense of humor.

It's because we "clicked." That certain
somethin between us was there and by mere virtue of that, neither of us were ever bored.

I've been called a lot of other things lol but boring was never one of them!

 

[Sega Genesis]

And to answer the OP's question/thread title, find a different woman, preferably one you actually click with versus one you simply find hot.

You can have both, it's not an either/or type of situation.

$.02.

 

[Beyond It]

I need to think about this one for a while.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I'm at that stage and age where a woman throwing it back isn't enough for me, I like to banter, I like chicks that got wit. Beautifu,l socially aware chicks have it but you also have a lot of chicks now who don't espeically younger. The older I get the more I'm focused on what a woman brings to the interaction, it's not always about what men do, not every woman is qualified gentlemen we must remember that!



Totally agree but IMO younger women are also the most fun, they are not bitter or jaded due to life experince as much as older women. I found that talking to younger chicks can be easier once you get them out of their shell.

Ha just look at your above paragraph before ur response to me. That's exactly what I'm talking about that these younger women don't seem to be good at but to be fair, I'm not great at "getting them out of their shell".

 

[Arewedoomed]

your username asks for help as if you are also the solution. we are not doomed, and you're yet to know sh!t anyway.

you can brag about everything you know but if you're not pulling, then you're not pulling.

you call them out of your league for being interesting. i call you boring for not even approaching and going for the pursuit. you can't even have a story to tell because you're afraid of making mistakes while you sit on your golden toilet of accomplishments.

you don't see them as people, you see them as "just people". you're apathetic. you don't even care.

you don't want women, you want artificial feminine robots who'd follow every "magic line" you say.

come back here only when you've actually dated and have made some mistakes worthy for an actually interesting post.

I don't come here to brag I just want advice. The dull bimbo stereotype of attractive women exists for a reason. I have dated interesting and attractive women, but they aren't common.

I made my username because I was freaking out about something a few months ago and I don't feel like making a new username.

The average woman has very little in her profile other than pictures, mentioning she likes wine, travel, shopping, bad tv, etc.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Boring guys find boring girls.

Water finds it's level

 

[pipeman84]

Being entertained is not what dating/ relationships should be about; when you're with the right person (for you and vice versa), there is no such thing as being "bored" or "entertained."

Just being in their presence is enough even if you're doing nothing by lying together under a tree at a park reading Shakespeare or simply enjoying nature together!

Some of the best and most intimate moments I've spent with a man (my bf/husband) were spent doing absolutely nothing but "being together."

Totally agree. And Doc Love practically said the same thing in one of his answers:

The fact that you guys are having a great time even when you’re doing less-than-exciting things is extremely important. Know why? Because it means that it doesn’t matter what you’re doing with this girl for her to want to be with you. It means that she has high Interest Level in you, not in how much money you’re spending on her. You can be peeling potatoes or walking your dog and it wouldn’t make any difference to her because she’s interested in you for you. When you go out with a mercenary, all she’s concerned with is whether you’re going to the best restaurant in town and whether she’s going to be able to order the lobster francaise or the filet mignon.

I also liken it to being with your dog or cat ... you don't enjoy spending time with your pet because it can carry an interesting conversation ... it's all about connection. And because human beings are much more complex than a cat or a dog, it's much harder to find a person you can really connect to.

 

[Sega Genesis]

it's all about connection. And because human beings are much more complex than a cat or a dog, it's much harder to find a person you can really connect to.

Amen brother! And I appreciate you understanding this too.

And Doc Love? Who knew?

 

[BaronOfHair]

And Doc Love? Who knew?

Those who mistake Red Pill Thought for anything revolutionary(Same way adherents of Feminism believe that Freidan and Steinem were anything original https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protofeminism )would be wise to investigate such an assertion, discover that folks have researching and writing on these subjects for a looooooooooong f-c-ing time

 

[Sega Genesis]

folks have researching and writing on these subjects for a looooooooooong f-c-ing tim

Lol my comment about Doc Love was tongue-in-cheek; to me this stuff is instinctive not taken from a book or dating guru.

 

[Arewedoomed]

Boring guys find boring girls.

Water finds it's level

There are few interesting ones left.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There are few interesting ones left.

I'd suggest you aren't a very good conversationalist.

 

[Arewedoomed]

I'd suggest you aren't a very good conversationalist.

Their profiles have nothing in them.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Their profiles have nothing in them.

You shouldn't be trying to have long conversations with them online, you should be sending 3-4 messages and then asking them if they are up for connecting in person.

That gives you an opportunity to talk with them in person where they will likely not be so boring if you have any sort of conversational skills.

 

[Sega Genesis]

When I was on the apps, I never had much on my profile and it wasn't because I'm boring and didn't have much to say.

It was intentional, why? Because I prefer revealing things about myself (my interests, likes and dislikes) gradually and spontaneously similar to when you meet someone in real life.

When you first meet someone in REAL life, at an event, the supermarket, a club etc do you know their interests etc?

No, you don't know a damn thing about them so you approach or are introduced whatever and you start talking to them to find out!

And you learn things gradually, that's half the fun of it!

I actually think having a detailed profile is what's boring! There's no mystery, no wondering which isn't some 'female' thing, it's a human thing and a basic law of attraction.

If you find her attractive physically, skip the boring profile which are typically BS anyway and simply reach out and talk to each other, a few preliminary messages and if you click online schedule an in-person meet!

Get to know each other gradually bit by bit.

Again it's what you would do had you met each other in real; profiles are actually one reason why I dislike online dating.

Do I really need to know you like walks on the beach or visiting museums before we even talk?

No!! One big YAWN.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I don't come here to brag I just want advice. The dull bimbo stereotype of attractive women exists for a reason. I have dated interesting and attractive women, but they aren't common.

Attractive women are dull because they don't have to be fun. They generally can get by on looks alone.

 

[DJ Novice]

No matter how deep the connection, how attractive the woman or how great they are in bed, hedonic adaptation will always kick in. It’s just a matter of time. This is the ‘boredom’ I’m referring to.

Someone new will always be more interesting than an existing partner especially if you’ve been with that partner for a long time. That why affairs happen, p*rn is so popular and most relationships end. To pretend otherwise is to deny human nature.

There is a reason why in places like France and Germany having a mistress or the equivalent for women is socially acceptable/tolerated.

Long term relationships bring stability but boredom. Short term relationships bring instability but excitement. Pick your poison.

 

[Solomon]

No matter how deep the connection, how attractive the woman or how great they are in bed, hedonic adaptation will always kick in. It’s just a matter of time. This is the ‘boredom’ I’m referring to.

Someone new will always be more interesting than an existing partner especially if you’ve been with that partner for a long time. That why affairs happen, p*rn is so popular and most relationships end. To pretend otherwise is to deny human nature.

There is a reason why in places like France and Germany having a mistress or the equivalent for women is socially acceptable/tolerated.

Long term relationships bring stability but boredom. Short term relationships bring instability but excitement. Pick your poison.

I had a plate who recently ended things cause she is not into stocks, tech etc. She claims she was interested in wanting to learn but most people just say that until it's time to learn. The truth is the lady was boring; she worked, had no hobbies outside of smoking weed with her g/f. One thing that we seldom talk about here is how compatibility is important just because a woman is hot (or not) and willing to hang out with you etc. Doesn't necessarily mean you guys will get along with compatibility or lifestyle. I find I tend to be more compatible with younger women because they are into some of the stuff I am into i.e. anime, art galleries, etc

 

[DJ Novice]

Compatability is great but I need to have a burning desire to rearrange her internal organs when I am with her above all else. Otherwise over time I find compatibility turns to comfort and then to boredom and ultimately to exploring other options.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Compatability is great but I need to have a burning desire to rearrange her internal organs when I am with her above all else. Otherwise over time I find compatibility turns to comfort and then to boredom and ultimately to exploring other options.

^^100% agree!!

@DJ Novice (or anyone else interested in keeping desire alive in a LTR/marriage) watch this video by Esther Perel. Just one of many.

It's less than 20 minutes, shorter than some of the videos @MatureDJ posts!

Hint: Balancing our need for security, comfort, reliability, safety with our need for novelty, mystery, risk, danger, surprise and the unknown.

True for both men and women (I'm female).

It can be done! Within the same relationship.

And it's NOT achieved by spending more time together which is the standard advice unfortunately. In fact codependency and too much "togetherness" is the absolute kiss of death which is what tends to happen in LTRs/marriages leading to one big YAWN in the desire department.

The first minute ot the video will have you intrigued I promise!

By the ways Esther Perel is a renowned psychotherapist and a licensed LMFT and certified sex therapist. Not some random youtube influencer.