Help me understand this girl's BS

[Sega Genesis]

I have in my tinder profile that I am strictly looking for casual. 75% of my matches either unmatch me when they find out or tell me I am not what they are looking for.

And I've always had the utmost respect for you for being straight like that tk. There is no reason to be anything other than that.

And who knows?

It could pull a relationship-oriented girl over to your more casual side, I've seen it and experienced it.

Always keep it real.

Re this girl @BPH the fact she had/has not responded to (or even read) your messages since your last speaks volumes.

Personally I think she's still hung up on the other guy even though she might find you more attractive.

But as has been said many times here, for women a man's looks are not the be-all-end-all. It's part of it but there's so much more.

She's got a chemistry with the other guy she didn't/doesn't feel with you and may have been using you (not consciously) as a diversion to try and get her mind off other guy or worse case scenario create jealousy.

Jmo, keep us posted.

P.S. I do not advise chasing her. In fact the opposite, distance yourself. Completely fall off her radar.

The next move should be hers..

 

[Bigpapa]

This is why I encourage guys to specialize themselves and date how they want to date rather than to react to women and trying to be “Mr. Everything” to all women.

For every woman who tries to qualify a guy for a relationship there are tons of women that are just looking for a casual fling. There’s no need for a guy to pretend to be something he’s not. Especially if he is good looking. He can have it his way because there are plenty of willing women.

I have in my tinder profile that I am strictly looking for casual. 75% of my matches either unmatch me when they find out or tell me I am not what they are looking for. But the 25% that are looking for the same thing are sending nude videos to me on Snapchat.

And some of these “casual encounter” women are some of the coolest people I’ve ever met. Just because they are looking for casual doesn’t mean they are street walkers that are on drugs. In fact I would even say they are less demanding and more chill to hang out with than women that are desperate for relationships from online dating.

And there’s no confusion when it comes to sex. I don’t even have to bring it up. The plan is usually to chill and hang out and do fun things, and eventually end up in the bedroom. Just two consenting adults that are on the same wavelength.

Ironically it’s easier to tell whether or not you want to be in a relationship with a woman once you’ve already hung out with her and slept with her a few times with no strings attached. You get to see the real her without relationship expectations. A lot of women tend to put on a mask and hide their red flags when they try to lure you into a commitment.

great post

me personally I saw that even if a girls does not really want a relationship, if you hang out long enough she will eventually start pushing for a relationship. Same thing for a guy if he likes her .This is the healthy dynamic, if you ask me

those girls that push for a relationship from the get go, they think they control the game, but in reality they expose themselves to being unintentionally lied to. Because the guy might initially think that he wants a relationship but after knowing her a bit he realizes that he does not want a relationship with her

then women start screening more and more for relationship and they end up with the guys they are not really excited about. Then they either take the dynamic where they are the lead in the relationship and the guy is weak and supplicating, either start complaining that it is difficult to find good guys. Or maybe both

 

[BPH]

OP, you're probably missing money/credibility since you live with your parents. You might be chasing after a chick outside of your demographic.

I agree with this.

This is why I encourage guys to specialize themselves and date how they want to date rather than to react to women and trying to be “Mr. Everything” to all women.

For every woman who tries to qualify a guy for a relationship there are tons of women that are just looking for a casual fling. There’s no need for a guy to pretend to be something he’s not. Especially if he is good looking. He can have it his way because there are plenty of willing women.

I have in my tinder profile that I am strictly looking for casual. 75% of my matches either unmatch me when they find out or tell me I am not what they are looking for. But the 25% that are looking for the same thing are sending nude videos to me on Snapchat.

And some of these “casual encounter” women are some of the coolest people I’ve ever met. Just because they are looking for casual doesn’t mean they are street walkers that are on drugs. In fact I would even say they are less demanding and more chill to hang out with than women that are desperate for relationships from online dating.

And there’s no confusion when it comes to sex. I don’t even have to bring it up. The plan is usually to chill and hang out and do fun things, and eventually end up in the bedroom. Just two consenting adults that are on the same wavelength.

Ironically it’s easier to tell whether or not you want to be in a relationship with a woman once you’ve already hung out with her and slept with her a few times with no strings attached. You get to see the real her without relationship expectations. A lot of women tend to put on a mask and hide their red flags when they try to lure you into a commitment.

And most of this.

The only area we really differ is your perspective on being "Mr. Everything", and your approach on the dating apps.

I don't try to be "Mr. Everything", but I don't limit myself to only those women I consider to be in my "tribe". To me, hot is hot; whether that's a pretty blonde country girl, a tattooed goth chick with an amazing body, or whatever else - I don't really have a type, so I don't try to fall into a specific category to do better with one type of woman, while completely ignoring the others.

The dating app thing boils down more to philosophy. I don't list a lot of things about myself, because I don't want to disqualify myself before we have a conversation. I don't list that I'm not looking for anything serious, just the same way I don't list my religion, politics, or astrology sign. Those topics may come up later, but usually at that point she's a little more invested and may be willing to overlook certain things.

Curious what the outcome of this was? Did you ask?
@BPH

I didn't have to.

Last night, she finally read and responded to my text with a very long message apologizing for answering me so late and describing how she needed time to process everything she was feeling that night. She said that she tried to push past her own limits beyond what she was ready for, and that's why she got so emotional upon realizing she wasn't ready for intimacy yet. She said those feelings caught her off guard, and that she didn't want me to think it had anything to do with me, and that I had always been kind to her and made her feel comfortable. She says she definitely wants to see me again, but thinks she needs to give herself space to heal, because she recognizes that she is still very hurt.

I responded that I understood and that she doesn't have to apologize to me for getting emotional about what she's going through. I told her I'd love to see her again when she's ready, and that I hope she feels better soon, a message that she "liked" or "hearted".

So that's that, for the time being.

 

[Sega Genesis]

The next move should be hers..

Which she did. And I'm glad she did!

Last night, she finally read and responded to my text with a very long message apologizing for answering me so late and describing how she needed time to process everything she was feeling that night. She said that she tried to push past her own limits beyond what she was ready for....

Just as I suspected. Her behavior had nothing to do with you not giving off "relationship vibes" or not being more aggressive and asking her out. .

I think you played the situation just right @BPH , perfect! You distanced and she came forward explaining where she's at.

Whether it's related to her feelings for other guy or not is irrelevant. She's not interested in pursuing things further at this point so as you said...

So that's that, for the time being.

Sorry it didn't go your way this time BPH. Timing is everything and it just wasn't the right time... for her.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Why do you care one iota about this nut?

 

[BPH]

Why do you care one iota about this nut?

Because I like sleeping with attractive women.

Everyone has their problems.

 

[Bigpapa]

I agree with this.



And most of this.

The only area we really differ is your perspective on being "Mr. Everything", and your approach on the dating apps.

I don't try to be "Mr. Everything", but I don't limit myself to only those women I consider to be in my "tribe". To me, hot is hot; whether that's a pretty blonde country girl, a tattooed goth chick with an amazing body, or whatever else - I don't really have a type, so I don't try to fall into a specific category to do better with one type of woman, while completely ignoring the others.

The dating app thing boils down more to philosophy. I don't list a lot of things about myself, because I don't want to disqualify myself before we have a conversation. I don't list that I'm not looking for anything serious, just the same way I don't list my religion, politics, or astrology sign. Those topics may come up later, but usually at that point she's a little more invested and may be willing to overlook certain things.



I didn't have to.

Last night, she finally read and responded to my text with a very long message apologizing for answering me so late and describing how she needed time to process everything she was feeling that night. She said that she tried to push past her own limits beyond what she was ready for, and that's why she got so emotional upon realizing she wasn't ready for intimacy yet. She said those feelings caught her off guard, and that she didn't want me to think it had anything to do with me, and that I had always been kind to her and made her feel comfortable. She says she definitely wants to see me again, but thinks she needs to give herself space to heal, because she recognizes that she is still very hurt.

I responded that I understood and that she doesn't have to apologize to me for getting emotional about what she's going through. I told her I'd love to see her again when she's ready, and that I hope she feels better soon, a message that she "liked" or "hearted".

So that's that, for the time being.

You have to back off and go full radio silence on her now till she comes back on her own. No social media stalking, nothing

when she will come back on her own, you will have to do from scratch the seduction, including qualifying her + compliance escalation from scratch. Basically treat her like you never met her

 

[Clockwerk50]

I agree with this.



And most of this.

The only area we really differ is your perspective on being "Mr. Everything", and your approach on the dating apps.

I don't try to be "Mr. Everything", but I don't limit myself to only those women I consider to be in my "tribe". To me, hot is hot; whether that's a pretty blonde country girl, a tattooed goth chick with an amazing body, or whatever else - I don't really have a type, so I don't try to fall into a specific category to do better with one type of woman, while completely ignoring the others.

The dating app thing boils down more to philosophy. I don't list a lot of things about myself, because I don't want to disqualify myself before we have a conversation. I don't list that I'm not looking for anything serious, just the same way I don't list my religion, politics, or astrology sign. Those topics may come up later, but usually at that point she's a little more invested and may be willing to overlook certain things.



I didn't have to.

Last night, she finally read and responded to my text with a very long message apologizing for answering me so late and describing how she needed time to process everything she was feeling that night. She said that she tried to push past her own limits beyond what she was ready for, and that's why she got so emotional upon realizing she wasn't ready for intimacy yet. She said those feelings caught her off guard, and that she didn't want me to think it had anything to do with me, and that I had always been kind to her and made her feel comfortable. She says she definitely wants to see me again, but thinks she needs to give herself space to heal, because she recognizes that she is still very hurt.

I responded that I understood and that she doesn't have to apologize to me for getting emotional about what she's going through. I told her I'd love to see her again when she's ready, and that I hope she feels better soon, a message that she "liked" or "hearted".

So that's that, for the time being.

I think she likes you. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have opened up like that or cared enough to explain herself.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I think she likes you. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have opened up like that or cared enough to explain herself.

Yeah but...

Timing is everything and it just wasn't the right time... for her.

 

[Cheeky_James]

She’s playing you.

hot and cold , push and pull , toying etc etc.
Classic girl game stuff.

Hard to salvage the situation at this point tbh. You’ve shown your hand of cards / interest & investment already with the number of attempts.

options are up the ante w her and rock up next time with an attractive chick in tow or flirt hard with other girls in the environment / pickup a another chick to make her jealous and unstable or something like that.

Reads like she’s the low self esteem type that
wants the guy that doesn’t want her perhaps (?)
Or a better deal ie a guy with more cash and his own apartment* (probably this tbh).

she may have liked you but wants to get laid on the regular at a nice place in her area .( most basic and rational explanation)
So logistics and proximity mainly are likely the barriers.

 

[Beyond It]

Ignore her. Withdraw attention. See what happens. It’s not so complicated after all.
Stop trying to have s3x with her. BJs are good place holders. Don’t be so impatient. A woman’s time line is sometimes very long. The one who doesn’t want her wins. If you can call it winning. Hahaha

 

[sevbucmash]

Returning from my Miami weekend

Where did you stay in Miami? Anywhere near Sunny Isles?

to which one of her friends said, "We accept the love we think we deserve", which she agreed with.

So the date, 3rd date was with you, her, and she had a friend over? Why would she need to show you to her friend? If I understand this correctly. I think you don't qualify for her. But that's just based on me assuming she brought a friend to her 3rd date. Not qualify, essentially dating a woman out of your league, by looks or otherwise. She won't contact you again if her friend didn't approve. But she'll let you chase her.

Either way, none of this is healthy. BJ on first date is down right red flag.

 

[BPH]

Where did you stay in Miami? Anywhere near Sunny Isles?

No, significantly south. On Washington Ave & 7th Street in Miami Beach.

So the date, 3rd date was with you, her, and she had a friend over? Why would she need to show you to her friend? If I understand this correctly. I think you don't qualify for her. But that's just based on me assuming she brought a friend to her 3rd date. Not qualify, essentially dating a woman out of your league, by looks or otherwise. She won't contact you again if her friend didn't approve. But she'll let you chase her.

Either way, none of this is healthy. BJ on first date is down right red flag.

There was no friend on the date. She just showed me a conversation she was having with her girlfriends because she couldn't understand why she didn't give me the same chances as these other guys, when I have a history of treating her much better than they did.

 

[sevbucmash]

Let's find out some stuff about her. Let's use this bot https://t.me/HaveIBeenHacked_Bot to search information about her. Using a phone number for example in format +1305554433 or an email address, or a facebook or instagram link or a username or a real name and birthday. Why? Well, because it could provide some answers.

 

[Divorced w 3]

No, significantly south. On Washington Ave & 7th Street in Miami Beach.



There was no friend on the date. She just showed me a conversation she was having with her girlfriends because she couldn't understand why she didn't give me the same chances as these other guys, when I have a history of treating her much better than they did.

She doesn’t like you. She’d go out with you if she did, there is no other way to explain it. It’s truly that black and white.

I’ve made this mistake with one woman. To the level of women I can typically attract it’s not even worth it, yet there’s this one woman for the last 3.5 years or so has just been an object of my desire. It’s mostly because of the push pull, it feels within reach and yet I cannot have it. We hooked up on day one after a couple days of Tinder —> phone back in the throws of my divorce process and every like 6-8 months I shoot her a text, we banter, she won’t commit to going out, and then after she calls me very attractive she says she can’t get past that I have three kids. It’s all text, she won’t pick the phone up. Drives me bananas. Maybe you’re like me that you hate losing but trust me you have to let her go.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No, significantly south. On Washington Ave & 7th Street in Miami Beach.



There was no friend on the date. She just showed me a conversation she was having with her girlfriends because she couldn't understand why she didn't give me the same chances as these other guys, when I have a history of treating her much better than they did.

Did you start walking around yelling "A1A...Beachfront Avenue!" like Vanilla Ice?