Trying to meet new cute girls is making me depressed

[ErasedId]

I got out of a relationship a bit ago and was going out to meet some girls yesterday. There weren't really a lot of cute girls at this venue at all though. I saw one Korean girl who's my type, petite and with glasses, like this:


But I think she was there with her boyfriend. I tried talking to her but she quickly went away unfortunately. That got me down and then I didn't really have much more motivation to try since the other girls were more meh to me.

The thing is I'm not really looking to hook up with a ton of different girls, more like find one to regularly sleep with / date (I don't know, since I might not be ready yet). But should I still "lower" my standards to get more experience with it?

I don't think I'm a bad looking guy, reasonably fit (bench 315), but don't think I'm like super good at getting girls.

Also not really sure what are the best venues to meet girls? I'm in Berlin, personally I really dig Asian chicks, but I might also settle for other girls. Any recommendations for venues, where to meet girls?

 

[Clockwerk50]

I think people will need more information to help you out. What do you know about gender dynamics? What readings have you done? What are your stats?

To keep it simple, women generally date up or within the same bracket, while men date down or within the same bracket. Looks, money, status, and personality are the main parameters that determine attractiveness, though women assign different weights to each.

With that said, the easiest way to meet women that are into you is by being a top man in your social circle, whether that’s among high school friends, leading events or conferences, in nightclubs, at work, motorcycles, through volunteering, etc. The hardest way is cold approaching, which requires being in the right place at the right time with the right skills.

 

[ErasedId]

I think people will need more information to help you out. What do you know about gender dynamics? What readings have you done? What are your stats?

To keep it simple, women generally date up or within the same bracket, while men date down or within the same bracket. Looks, money, status, and personality are the main parameters that determine attractiveness, though women assign different weights to each.

With that said, the easiest way to meet women that are into you is by being a top man in your social circle, whether that’s among high school friends, leading events or conferences, in nightclubs, at work, motorcycles, through volunteering, etc. The hardest way is cold approaching, which requires being in the right place at the right time with the right skills.

I’m working, don’t really have the time to be volunteer or something …

I don’t think it matters that much, the women I dated before they approached me, and one was quite out of my league, her family was really rich, but now since i’m working it’s a bit more difficult meeting girls compared to back in uni.

I think one issue is, I don’t really see that many cute girls around in the venues I go to. That’s curbing my enthusiasm a bit. I’m thinking of moving to a place where there’s more like Japan or something, or Taiwan.

Isn’t cold approaching like talking to girls in the street randomly? I haven’t tried that. So far I just went to some events where people get together, like to chat, eat, dance, … Isn’t that a good way? Like I said I think the downside is just not as many cute ones there.

 

[Plinco]

Generally, keep leveling yourself up and be authentic (regardless of how much people will try to shame you for it). Being authentic sounds simple, but it's actually really hard to do. Most people lack the integrity, self-esteem, and/or confidence to do it. Leveling up of course is looks maxing and working hard to become the most valuable version of you. I know you said that you had girls approaching you before, however this stuff still matters because your internal state affects the way you look to other people.

More specifically, step outside of your comfort zone. Go to venues and cold approach.

 

[The Duke]

I'd grow some thicker skin. That's part of it. Don't take things so personal.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I didn't really have much more motivation to try since the other girls were more meh to me.

If you only talk to girls you are interested in, you're going to have a hard time.

Be social and friendly with everybody you meet.

It will make everything easier.

 

[ErasedId]

Generally, keep leveling yourself up and be authentic (regardless of how much people will try to shame you for it). Being authentic sounds simple, but it's actually really hard to do. Most people lack the integrity, self-esteem, and/or confidence to do it. Leveling up of course is looks maxing and working hard to become the most valuable version of you. I know you said that you had girls approaching you before, however this stuff still matters because your internal state affects the way you look to other people.

More specifically, step outside of your comfort zone. Go to venues and cold approach.

Yeah I think nowadays I'm more comfortable with being myself, being authentic. I'd say that was a learning process over the years.

I did think about improving my looks after the breakup, for instance I'm relatively big, muscle wise, but could be a bit leaner, so I'm leaning down, it also brings out my cheekbones better. And then the most important thing I do is to try advance myself in my career and future prospects, I would say that's actually my priority over stuff like meeting girls. For instance I'm trying to finish ACCA next year, also possibly want to work abroad like I mentioned, but that's kind of a work in progress.

So I have started the going to venues or meetups and (cold)approach girls, I think it's good for me to increase my confidence and sociability. Got maybe any specific recommendations for new venus I could try though?

I'd grow some thicker skin. That's part of it. Don't take things so personal.

Yep, I shouldn't be too let down by these kind of things. I think I need to learn how even when things don't go the way I had planned, like there's not as many attractive girls there around, or something else, I still have a good time, am social and stuff.

And overall I guess it's not too bad. I did get some numbers so far, and one of the girls wanted to take me to a techno party that started at 2 am. But I really wasn't too into that idea, my whole next day would've been ruined

If you only talk to girls you are interested in, you're going to have a hard time.

Be social and friendly with everybody you meet.

It will make everything easier.

That's a good point ... I think you're totally right, it's something I want to incorporate more from the next time on. I think both girls I'm into, also maybe other girls for practice, and also being sociable with guys of course, although I don't want to spend too much time with guys, like not the majority because then I feel I'm doing this because I avoid talking to the girls during the night, so I should be wary of that I think.

 

[plumber]

you have good taste, that girl looks cute.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm in Berlin, personally I really dig Asian chicks...

Contaminating The Master Race, eh? Adolf is rolling over in his grave

 

[Clockwerk50]

I’m working, don’t really have the time to be volunteer or something …

I don’t think it matters that much, the women I dated before they approached me, and one was quite out of my league, her family was really rich, but now since i’m working it’s a bit more difficult meeting girls compared to back in uni.

I think one issue is, I don’t really see that many cute girls around in the venues I go to. That’s curbing my enthusiasm a bit. I’m thinking of moving to a place where there’s more like Japan or something, or Taiwan.

Isn’t cold approaching like talking to girls in the street randomly? I haven’t tried that. So far I just went to some events where people get together, like to chat, eat, dance, … Isn’t that a good way? Like I said I think the downside is just not as many cute ones there.

I think you may have taken what I said a bit out of context. I didn’t specifically say you have to volunteer, I meant to focus on becoming an important person in whatever circles you move in, whether that’s at work, through hobbies, or in your social life.

Either way, attractive people tend to hang around one another. So if you’re not seeing many, it could mean you’re not spending time in the right circles, or you might need to work on making yourself more attractive, appealing, and interesting to the kind of people you’re hoping to meet.

Good luck.

 

[MatureDJ]

I don't think I'm a bad looking guy, reasonably fit (bench 315), but don't think I'm like super good at getting girls.

Also not really sure what are the best venues to meet girls? I'm in Berlin, personally I really dig Asian chicks, but I might also settle for other girls. Any recommendations for venues, where to meet girls?

Gymcel

A gymcel is an incel who works out, believing that a muscular body will compensate for an unattractive face. Gymcels will often spend countless hours in the gym...

incels.wiki

I remember visiting Berlin. There were 2 kinds of nightspots - those where the women wouldn't socialize with me at all, and another one where they would. (I can't say anymore since the post could get removed.)