She said yes to drinks but set a time limit. Red flag?

[BadBoy89]

"Hi.
All right.
I'll see how my week goes and let you know."

The fact that she didn't just say no upfront and only mentioned having limited time, then bailed on the actual day, has me a bit discouraged about her.

The women counter offered with 2 days she is available. Granted 7 days down the line is not good as Sega said, but she did.

She countered with “Friday or Saturday”, she left an opening. Why not ask her to confirm the day and time, let her initiate and lock it down and then decide what to do: if you agree and she backs out again, then you know who are dealing with. The OP initially offered Friday 7:30 pm. Suddenly next Friday and Saturday he is that busy making love to hot girls? Come on. She will see right thru that.

One young girl writes one text and makes everyone’s head spin. Imagine if the young girl put some thought into the text. Men would be crushed.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Of course!

I never said, suggested or implied there was something 'off' about it. Or you for giving a f*ck under those circumstances.

And I realize this doesn't apply to you, but even for those who DO develop feelings for someone online they've never met in person, there is nothing off about that either! Imo.

It can and does happen and the feelings are genuine even if based in part on the fantasy of that person.

You made a statement that you don't give a f*ck and I responded that you really do which you actually just confirmed! Pertaining to real life not online.

Nothing off about that at all, it's the opposite! And yes very human.

You’re derailing the thread

 

[Sega Genesis]

You’re derailing the thread

I'm responding to your post(s). Many of which were directed to me.

 

[Gamisch]

The women counter offered with 2 days she is available. Granted 7 days down the line is not good as Sega said, but she did.

She countered with “Friday or Saturday”, she left an opening. Why not ask her to confirm the day and time, let her initiate and lock it down and then decide what to do: if you agree and she backs out again, then you know who are dealing with. The OP initially offered Friday 7:30 pm. Suddenly next Friday and Saturday he is that busy making love to hot girls? Come on. She will see right thru that.

One young girl writes one text and makes everyone’s head spin. Imagine if the young girl put some thought into the text. Men would be crushed.

And how hard is it to imagine that THIS Friday she is busy making love with hot guys?...

That's what mean when I say women have much more game

 

[BadBoy89]

And how hard is it to imagine that THIS Friday she is busy making love with hot guys?...

That's what mean when I say women have much more game

Yes it’s not ideal but I don’t think Sosuave members are that smooth to say “listen girl, 1st date clothes come off in 60 min or go to hell.”

 

[Divorced w 3]

Suddenly next Friday and Saturday he is that busy making love to hot girls? Come on. She will see right thru that.

You mean to tell me he can’t have plans one weekend and be booked up the next?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yes it’s not ideal but I don’t think Sosuave members are that smooth to say “listen girl, 1st date clothes come off in 60 min or go to hell.”

FWIW….my first tinder lay was basically this. Years ago, we hooked up in such a way, and then hadn’t spoken in 25 months or so, but I texted her like two months ago (I even stood her up a few times) and we did it again.

 

[nismo-4]

Exactly, and how good are those for men?

You mean the men who aren't blue-checked with 100k followers and a collage of high value photos right?

 

[Sega Genesis]

@holidayad_ can you explain your rationale for expecting HER to show interest over the next few days?

YOU are the one who said you'd get back to her!

And she already showed her interest and intent by offering two alternative days.

Earnest question. To me you set it up so that the ball is in your court!

I wouldn't expect a response but ya never know.

Keep us posted!

@holidayad_ nevermind this^^ post.

After rethinking this, given your response was rather aloof with a IDGAF attitude, she actually might find that intriguing and respond!

Why?

It will get her rabbit wheels spinning and when rabbit wheels start spinning anything goes! Lol

And as Dw3 said she kinda blew you off, so the fact you're not kissing her a$$ like most men would under the same circumstances (not SS members haha) she may start to feel guilty and badly for canceling/flaking and respond!

It all depends how interested she is. Women's brains work in strange and mysterious ways sometimes! Counterintuitive to what many men believe. Not all, some men DO understand this.

I'm basing my response on how I've felt in the same situation (with high enough interest given we've never met) and how many other women Im acquainted with felt as well.

The rabbit wheels get us every time!

P.S. If she has low interest it's probably done.

 

[Clockwerk50]

So, OP, the basic advice you got here was to 'go with the flow' or 'assert your dominance.'

The more women you talk to, the more you gain experience and practice. Each time you interact with someone, you gain confidence. This makes future encounters easier and helps you shed the attributes that repel women.

Whatever path you choose, just be outcome independent. Do what you think is right and what aligns with your values.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Any update on this?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Started chatting with this girl on Instagram yesterday.

Kept my approach simple: opened with something light and threw out a creative line about "Wednesdays needing a good story."

She was totally into it and shared two stories with me (one about her cat and another one about a childhood memory).

I kept things playful and shared a couple of my own stories back (my football team Flamengo winning + this awkward work meeting where everyone thought I was a foreigner).

The whole conversation had a cool energy.

She sent a disgusted emoji when I mentioned Flamengo. Then she asked if I looked like a foreigner in person, so I teased her with "wanna find out?" and she shot back "is that an invitation?"

I took the opening and said "how about drinks?"

Her response: "Sounds fun! I'm down."

So I suggested Saturday at 7:30pm at this bar I know.

Her reply: "Yes, but I can only stay until 11 - I have a show after. Is that cool?"

This dynamic sounds kinda off for me.

What do you think?

Have you guys spoken since you sent your last message?

 

[holidayad_]

Update:

She re-engaged after I went dark. I had pulled back and a few days later she pinged me with: “Back from your disappearing act??”.

We set up the date.

At the bar, she was talkative, laughed, threw a few tests, asked about jealousy, casual sex, relationships, etc. I teased back, but when I suggested sitting next to me, she chose to stay across the table.

The conversation flowed in parts, but by the end, her vibe had cooled. When chatting on IG, she had said I “owed her a date” when I answered her if she missed me. So, on the way out, I framed it playfully: “Debt paid?” Her response: “Yes, settled.”

I closed the date, kissing her.

And that was it.

 

[Divorced w 3]

On to the next one

 

[BillyPilgrim]

On to the next one

I think a better lesson here than just "moving on" is avoiding chicks like this in the first place.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Update:

She re-engaged after I went dark. I had pulled back and a few days later she pinged me with: “Back from your disappearing act??”.

We set up the date.

At the bar, she was talkative, laughed, threw a few tests, asked about jealousy, casual sex, relationships, etc. I teased back, but when I suggested sitting next to me, she chose to stay across the table.

The conversation flowed in parts, but by the end, her vibe had cooled. When chatting on IG, she had said I “owed her a date” when I answered her if she missed me. So, on the way out, I framed it playfully: “Debt paid?” Her response: “Yes, settled.”

I closed the date, kissing her.

And that was it.

No matter what you say to the below, it’s all good. Guys are going to learn from this. Thanks in advance for answering.

How long ago was this?

What day of the week?

What was your answer when she said you disappeared?

What was your answer when she said you owed her a date?

Who paid for the drinks?

Who was asking who about casual sex?

Who asked about relationships?

What was your tease back?

What was the kiss like?

Any next steps?

Any dialogue sknce

Moving ahead, drinks should be had at the bar itself. You can sit next to each other, you end up touching quite a bit, and you have an outlet in the bartender to develop social interaction.

 

[holidayad_]

How long ago was this?

What day of the week?

The date was on Thursday. 2 days ago.

What was your answer when she said you disappeared?

What was your answer when she said you owed her a date?

When she texted me “Back from your disappearing act??", I texted back: "I'm back. Guess someone was missing me".

Then she replied: "Of course, you owe me a date". Then I replied:

"A debt worth paying... I'm free Tuesday or Thursday night. What do you think?"

Then she chose Thursday.

I replied with the time and spot, and that was it. We met there.

Who paid for the drinks?

I paid for everything. Drinks and appetizers.

Who was asking who about casual sex?

Who asked about relationships?

What was your tease back?

She asked me all the questions about it. She asked me what I thought about open relationships, if I had ever had an LTR, and for how long.

She also mentioned that she had been in two relationships (both lasting three years) and had been single for three or four months.

She mentioned that her ex was insecure and too complacent, and needed to go to therapy. From there, she asked me if I had ever been to therapy and what I thought about it.

What was your tease back?

There were some situations that I teased her back. The date was mostly playful, but here it is what I can remember:

1. When she asked if I had blocked her on Instagram, I didn’t go defensive or over-explain. I just laughed and said, “I don’t do that to women with blue eyes.”

2. Later, when the topic of jealousy came up, she asked if I was the jealous type. I kept it simple with a confident “no.” She replied, “yeah, you don’t look like the jealous type.”

What was the kiss like?

When the night came to an end, the dynamic shifted. My car was in the shop, so I was set to take an Uber home. As we stepped outside, I offered to share the ride with her. She declined, saying she would call her own. While we waited, we kissed for about a minute, standing there before her ride.

A few minutes later her driver canceled. I offered again, framed it as “making sure you get home safe.” She declined, firm but polite. After that the mood shifted. She went from talkative to quiet while we waited. Energy dropped.

The final kiss matched the vibe. Quick, polite peck. Nothing like the earlier kiss. Combined with the silence and refusals, it was clear she was closing the night, not opening the next.

This was the moment that I asked her: “Debt paid?” Her response: “Yes, settled.”

So, nothing planned.

I confess that I didn't really like her attitude, especially at the end.

I wasn't expecting sex, so much so that I didn't force it, but at least a “thank you” would have been nice.

 

[Bearnest]

you have time.

 

[holidayad_]

The date was on Thursday. 2 days ago.





When she texted me “Back from your disappearing act??", I texted back: "I'm back. Guess someone was missing me".

Then she replied: "Of course, you owe me a date". Then I replied:

"A debt worth paying... I'm free Tuesday or Thursday night. What do you think?"

Then she chose Thursday.

I replied with the time and spot, and that was it. We met there.



I paid for everything. Drinks and appetizers.




She asked me all the questions about it. She asked me what I thought about open relationships, if I had ever had an LTR, and for how long.

She also mentioned that she had been in two relationships (both lasting three years) and had been single for three or four months.

She mentioned that her ex was insecure and too complacent, and needed to go to therapy. From there, she asked me if I had ever been to therapy and what I thought about it.




There were some situations that I teased her back. The date was mostly playful, but here it is what I can remember:

1. When she asked if I had blocked her on Instagram, I didn’t go defensive or over-explain. I just laughed and said, “I don’t do that to women with blue eyes.”

2. Later, when the topic of jealousy came up, she asked if I was the jealous type. I kept it simple with a confident “no.” She replied, “yeah, you don’t look like the jealous type.”




When the night came to an end, the dynamic shifted. My car was in the shop, so I was set to take an Uber home. As we stepped outside, I offered to share the ride with her. She declined, saying she would call her own. While we waited, we kissed for about a minute, standing there before her ride.

A few minutes later her driver canceled. I offered again, framed it as “making sure you get home safe.” She declined, firm but polite. After that the mood shifted. She went from talkative to quiet while we waited. Energy dropped.

The final kiss matched the vibe. Quick, polite peck. Nothing like the earlier kiss. Combined with the silence and refusals, it was clear she was closing the night, not opening the next.

This was the moment that I asked her: “Debt paid?” Her response: “Yes, settled.”

So, nothing planned.

I confess that I didn't really like her attitude, especially at the end.

I wasn't expecting sex, so much so that I didn't force it, but at least a “thank you” would have been nice.

What are your thoughts on this?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This is why you screen