I live with my parents in suburban Delaware, but still get laid a lot - Ask Me Anything

[BPH]

I told girls I just lost my apartment to an owner occupied move in. I lived with my parents. It was never an issue.

It's actually never really been an issue; it's just that I can't bring them to my place 99% of the time.

Usually, if a woman asks where I live, it's because she wants to have somewhere for us to go. I'm simply honest, then present other options.

 

[Sega Genesis]

@BPH I hope you don't mind a female chiming in but with respect to @Divorced w 3 question asking what 5-10 things go into a seduction...

Your list is great on how to become an attractive high value man that women would want to be seduced by but how does that relate to the actual seduction?

A seduction meaning once you encounter a beautiful woman you desire, how do you attract, beguile, tempt, escalate and close?

How do you get there? To that first kiss? To women stripping naked and begging you to f*ck them (the close)?

What specifically do you say and do? You know how do you seduce them?

I'm a woman and I know what attracts, beguiles and gets me to the point of no return but curious what YOU do?

I think your answer would greatly benefit men who struggle with this.

 

[BPH]

@BPH I hope you don't mind a female chiming in but with respect to @Divorced w 3 question asking what 5-10 things go into a seduction...

Your list is great on how to become an attractive high value man that women would want to be seduced by but how does that relate to the actual seduction?

A seduction meaning once you encounter a woman, how do you attract, beguile, tempt, escalate and close?

How do you get there? To that first kiss? To women becoming naked and begging you to f*ck them (the close)?

What specifically do you say and do? You know how do you seduce them?

I'm a woman and I know what attracts, beguiles and gets me to the point of no return but curious what YOU do?

I think your answer would greatly benefit men who struggle with this.

It's very difficult to give a concise answer to this, because there's so much nuance to each interaction that you really won't be good at reading situations until you've had enough experience with them.

There's not really a one-size-fits-all to this; what works for guys like @characternote 's friend wouldn't work for me, just as what works for me might not work for somebody else. I've had plenty of nights where I've gone out with friends or family when I've left with a woman, and they always have the same question the next day: "What did you say to her?"

And truthfully, I rarely remember. The way I open is often some variation of the same phrase, being "Hey, I thought you were gorgeous and had to come say hi", and I improvise from there based on how she responds - not just what she says.

But if I had to try and distill something so dynamic into something simple, I'd probably say this:

Lead the interaction forward.

I see a lot of guys go wrong when they get some success and stop themselves short of more; they'll get a phone number and go off to the next girl, or they'll be making out with girl then say "bye" at the end of the night, or they may even end up bed with girl but won't initiate the final push by going under the clothes or trying to take hers off.

Like my car analogy above, go until you're stopped.

If you want more of a Point A to Point B:

• Approach and identify whether she shows signs of interest
• IF she seems interested, flirt, and move to isolate her from friends, groups, crowds, etc
• IF she agrees and isolates herself with you, escalate, ideally by going for the kiss, less ideally by getting her number and tentatively planning something in the future
• IF she's receptive to the kiss, look to isolate her further - I usually do this by asking what she's doing afterwards and whether she'd like some company; sometimes she will make the offer. THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING INVITED TO HANG OUT AS A GROUP
• IF she brings you back to hers/goes back with you to yours, your job is less about talking and more about doing - you should be moving in the direction of the bedroom
• IF everything so far has gone this well, then it's really just a matter of doing a good enough job in bed that she wants to keep seeing you; be a good kisser, learn to finger, use a couple of different positions, prioritize her O over yours, etc

I think this is the best answer I could give for this question without being excessively thorough. A lot of this simply comes with time and experience, which is why it's important to develop confidence to approach women more often.

 

[plumber]

This is a great question, and I wanted to give it some real thought before I delivered an answer:

1. Go to the Gym - Easily number 1. I gave a more elaborate reason as to why in this thread, but I'll try to simplify it here. Looks matter, plain and simple. And the best way to become better-looking is by getting in better shape. You become more attractive to women, more respected by women, and develop more confidence in yourself. Today, we have 24-hour gyms, online personal trainers, and most machines have a QR code you can scan to see how it's used with a video sent to your phone. It has never been easier to get in shape; I see people with disabilities in my gym, I see amputees in my gym, there is no excuse somebody could give me as to why they aren't investing in their health, fitness, and as a byproduct, their appearance.
2. Develop genuine Confidence - I generally disagree with "fake it till you make it", but when it comes to seduction, I think it rings true. Being able to approach women you're interested in, flirt with them, and carry on a conversation is a skill very few men possess without the assistance of alcohol. The way I got there was by approaching women on the boardwalk at the beach with canned, corny pickup lines. Sometimes it worked, but most times it didn't. I got rejected so many times that I reached a point where I stopped fearing it, and that's what really allowed me to relax and have fun meeting these women; the realization that if things don't go well with this woman, you can always meet another.
3. Lead and Escalate - I've been spending a lot of time lately on dating-related subreddits, offering advice to people who ask questions about their dating lives. There are a ton of guys who will say something along the lines of "we went on 2 great dates and had an amazing time and great chemistry, but now she's going cold, why?" The first question I'll ask is whether they f***ed, or even kissed, to which the answer is almost always "no". Modern men are becoming pus*ies because most of us live in a society where taking on a masculine role is seen as "toxic". Guys are offering their Snapchats instead of asking for a phone number. Guys are asking girls if they want to hang out, rather than planning the date. Guys are waiting until date 2, 3, 4+ to go for the kiss or try to have sex, because they feel they'd otherwise be moving too fast. Understanding that women want sex just as much as men is not common knowledge these days. I had a friend give me a great analogy: you never know how fast a car can take a turn - until it crashes. Meaning that you never know how far things could go with a woman until she stops you - because she might not.
4. Identify High vs Low Interest - The term "mixed signals" gets thrown around a lot. More often than not, the guy is being shown some attention and hopes that it's signs of interest, rather than accepting reality. An interested woman will stop whatever she's doing to talk to you. She'll hold eye contact, smile, ask your name, and engage in the conversation beyond answering your questions. She'll leave her friends for you. She'll text you back quickly, and sometimes with multiple messages. She'll accommodate your schedule. She'll be available for whatever date at whatever time. She'll break into a full-blown makeout with you and not care who sees. She'll take off her clothes in the bedroom before you even try to. An uninterested woman will be doing the OPPOSITE of what I've listed here. If you value your time, money, and effort, you will quickly identify which woman you're dealing with, so you can find the former if you're talking to the latter.
5. Be Honest - I used to wonder how I should answer questions that women would ask me, where I knew the answer might bother them. Questions about my body count, my age, and where I was living were the main ones. I've found, time and time again, that the best way to answer was always honestly. Frankly, I'm too lazy to lie - it's too hard to keep track of your stories, and if somebody has a problem with something I say, it's their problem, not mine. I used to be nervous when my exes would ask me my body count, and they ALL asked me. Yet each time I answered, it wasn't an issue. Sure, some were surprised, but it made sense because of how I carried myself and interacted with them. So I would always advise telling the truth. This does NOT mean I lead with that information - I'm not telling women on the first date that I live with my parents and have slept with over 100 women. But if I'm asked a question, I answer honestly, and they choose how they want to react to it.
6. NEVER Get Emotional - Not to be confused with "never show emotion". What I mean by this is that you should never give a woman such control over you that she's able to get an emotional reaction out of you. Be extremely unbothered, no matter the circumstance. You got rudely rejected by a girl in front of her friends? Cool, laugh it off, and go meet another woman. Your girlfriend of 4 years cheated on you with your best friend? Cool, at least you're not married - pack her things, break up with her, and go meet another woman. Getting emotional clouds your judgement and prevents you from thinking logically and practically. It shows the woman that she has the power to inject drama into your relationship, and the ability to make or ruin your day. Nobody should have that power over you, and that includes women.
7. Have Fun - None of this matters if you're not enjoying yourself. I got into this because I wanted to have the power to choose the women I wanted to be, rather than wait to be chosen. Sure, the process was rough, and the learning curve was massive, but I love doing this. I love experiencing different women, and the novelty of meeting someone new and exciting. Allow yourselves the grace to fail, and enjoy the process. I still remember an approach I did back when I was in high school with my friend, where I went up to a girl at this fair and asked her name. It was loud, so I couldn't hear her the first time, and I asked again, to which she replied, "it doesn't matter", and walked away. My friend witnessed this, and we both laughed about how hard I was shut down for a solid 20 minutes or so. That memory is almost 15 years old, and I remember that over the names of some of the women I didn't get rejected by.

Originally, I wanted to only list 5 things, because I thought 10 would be trying to come up with too much filler, but I kinda just kept going until I got the most important bits out in the open.

the list works for you. its a decent list.

#1 is #1. its not required for success but if you don't already have success then it is required...

2,3,6 the man is not directly in control of these. these are chemical. few different ways to address it, your #1 is a great start. these can not be learned... after a man can do these he can improve them.

#4 is really as skill. likely something you can teach.

#5 basic character.

#7 its what happens when 1-6 are happening.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Do you ever tell girls that you're Joe Flacco?

 

[Gamisch]

Ill take the bait.

Your pushing it now don't ya?

You should be embarrassed and not ever look at it like a flex. Your going towards 40 , maybe you should spend some of that time ( and money) on building yourself up and becoming independent.

Fecking low quality women from the apps is easy when you have no other cares in the world. Imsorry ,but you should ASK about how to win in life.

Your basically thinking your own fart smells like cologne. No wonder a " seduction community " goes to waste if prominent members arent even able to fix basic shyte in life.

I'm refuse to follow the herd. You're a 30+ year old man who lives life like he is 17. What else do you have to show for n life? What did you accomplish? Nothing substantial .

 

[CornbreadFed]

I'm still recouping my losses from my lawn care business and have sold everything except the truck.

How did you lose a lawn care business?

 

[CornbreadFed]

You're a 30+ year old man who lives life like he is 17. What else do you have to show for n life? What did you accomplish? Nothing substantial .

I never understood the disdain for older bachelor men until I got older. Most of them tend to have Peter Pan Syndrome which can be annoying to deal with.

 

[SW15]

It's actually never really been an issue; it's just that I can't bring them to my place 99% of the time.

Usually, if a woman asks where I live, it's because she wants to have somewhere for us to go. I'm simply honest, then present other options.

That makes seduction more difficult. Initially, the man has to lead seduction. Leading usually involves a man taking a woman back to his place for the first instance of sex. Sex at the man's place is more common in the early stages of an interaction.

In 2011, when Roosh wrote about being in his early 30s, being unemployed, and living in his dad's basement, he thought his biggest logistical hurdle was his dad's suburban Maryland location that was far from Washington DC nightlife. Roosh had his own basement and it is also likely that Roosh's dad was not a hoarder. Roosh's parents were divorced and Roosh's mom also had a house in Maryland with a basement. Roosh thought that if he lived alone in the Maryland suburbs and on the same street as his dad, it would have had no impact on his sex life.

Getting Laid While Unemployed And Living In Your Dad’s Basement

Bottom line is I stay with my dad while in the States because it doesn’t affect my sex life. If anything, I see a positive effect. When a girl finds out I’m a bum that gives her absolute zero hope of a future or anything for free, she opens her legs in four hours or less. Why should she wait? She’s attracted to me and knows she’s not going to get any additional benefits as time goes on.

The only problem with living at my dad’s is the logistical hurdle of being in the suburbs, which is located 30 minutes driving from the nightlife zone. If I lived next door to my dad’s in my own townhouse, I would not get laid any more than I have during my previous stays there. While living a bit far out from the action has cost me notches, living with my dad never has.

I never understood the disdain for older bachelor men until I got older. Most of them tend to have Peter Pan Syndrome which can be annoying to deal with.

What do you consider an older bachelor? I am likely considered an older bachelor man at this point. I think the general culture doesn't know how to deal with older bachelor men.

 

[Solomon]

How many women have rejected you or stopped talking to you once they find out you live with your parents?
Do you bring it up or if they ask how do you tell them?

 

[Vanderdonck]

I never understood the disdain for older bachelor men until I got older. Most of them tend to have Peter Pan Syndrome which can be annoying to deal with.

What does that mean and why is it annoying?

 

[Sega Genesis]

Thanks @BPH but one last and then I'll leave you to it.

Approach and identify whether she shows signs of interest..

What signs are you looking for? Isn't part of seduction you beguiling her so that she does become interested?

Speaking personally it takes more for me to become initially interested than his mere presence no matter what he looks like (i.e. Chad).

You are a Chad so it's easy for you. But what if he's not a Chad? Most men aren't so women aren't just gonna "be interested" unless the man does something to create interest.

IF she seems interested, flirt..

Saying you flirt is so broad. How do you flirt?

I agree it's nuanced as you said, but can you be more specific?

Like for example, great eye contact, teasing her, C&F, mirroring her, light keno, creating tension through push/pull?

In my experience many men flounder in this area and the seduction falls flat.

I've watched/listened to interviews with Neil Strauss and he outlined his seduction strategy beautifully!

Almost step by step, he gave examples from initial meet to close. It was brilliant! And I can be a pretty tough nut to crack sometimes.

And unlike you, he didn't have the height or Chad looks.

But his seduction "Game" worked. And he made a heck of a lot of money teaching it (which I assume is your goal as well).

 

[BPH]

Do you ever tell girls that you're Joe Flacco?

Most girls don't know who Joe Flacco is

Ill take the bait.

Your pushing it now don't ya?

You should be embarrassed and not ever look at it like a flex. Your going towards 40 , maybe you should spend some of that time ( and money) on building yourself up and becoming independent.

Fecking low quality women from the apps is easy when you have no other cares in the world. Imsorry ,but you should ASK about how to win in life.

Your basically thinking your own fart smells like cologne. No wonder a " seduction community " goes to waste if prominent members arent even able to fix basic shyte in life.

I'm refuse to follow the herd. You're a 30+ year old man who lives life like he is 17. What else do you have to show for n life? What did you accomplish? Nothing substantial .

So did you have an actual question or...?

I find it so odd how guys like you and @New_Journey get routinely bent out of shape about things that don't affect you.

How did you lose a lawn care business?

I live with my parents in suburban Delaware, but still get laid a lot - Ask Me Anything

I figure there's a 50/50 chance this ends up being a good idea :rofl: The forum seems a little unhappy at the moment, with a lot of complaints about too much theory, not enough real-world experience. It's a slow, quiet day at work, so I want to see what YOU want to know more about. Whether...

www.sosuave.net

I never understood the disdain for older bachelor men until I got older. Most of them tend to have Peter Pan Syndrome which can be annoying to deal with.

What does that mean and why is it annoying?

I had to Google it, because I didn't know what it was either. It's not an actual diagnosis, just a pop psychology term that describes adults who exhibit childlike behavior, such as avoiding responsibilities and lacking maturity.

To clarify, while I do live with my parents, I don't subsist on them. I buy my own things, I make my own food, I do my own laundry, and I handle personal problems as they arise (car troubles, medical visits, taxes, etc). I found a statistic that 19% of men aged 25-34 in the USA live with their parents - it's not the majority, and it's not ideal, but I wouldn't consider that rare either.

How many women have rejected you or stopped talking to you once they find out you live with your parents?
Do you bring it up or if they ask how do you tell them?

I really can't think of a single time when it's been a dealbreaker. If things are going well enough that she's asking me where I live, my situation is more of a speed bump than a roadblock. I don't bring it up unless they ask, but if they do ask, I answer honestly: I left my job with a mortgage lender several years ago and moved back home. I tell them I've been saving money and working on businesses that would allow me to leave my current job, because I want to be able to move out and stay out this time.

Sometimes this would make it difficult to meet with women who were in the same situation, because it became unrealistic for us to see each other regularly, which would cause the relationship to die early - but I can't think of an instance where it was a dealbreaker before the close/relationship.

 

[characternote]

What signs are you looking for? Isn't part of seduction you beguiling her so that she does become interested?

you're getting to the heart of something i've been saying for a long time and it also related to how forums and in fact the whole seduction community have changed over the years

I'll start off by saying that I don't believe anyone can 'seduce' someone if they don't want to be seduced by you (.eg they see you as way too ugly, old, fat, whatever). This has been proven with infield footage in that even the 'coaches' only seem to bang the 'receptive' girls. If they open a girl who is clearly not at all interested/attracted, all of their 'seduction' attempts don't cut any ice and the approach end up in the 'rejection compilation' of their paid product. And so in a way this change is kind of welcome (although it does kind of mean that there's really no point in forums like this lol)

And so that of course applies to the OP. I feel like you're looking for answers that kind of don't exist. I think he felt I was attacking him a bit in a prior lay report thread of his but I didn't really mean too. I was just saying that what he was doing was pulling girls who already wanted him. You could say she seduced HIM lol. But that's not really an attack as it's basically the same for every guy, really. Including me. Nobody has some magic 'game' where they can walk up too a girl who isn't at all attracted to him (or even, is very UNattracted in that, she likes young, tall guys with a good body and you are 55, fat and 5ft 3.) and consistently get them home. It's fantasy. To believe that the random people online who claim they do is to believe that they just so happen to be better than every professional dating coach out there. By a mile!

And so in a way, lay reports and stuff certainly never impress me in the same way i'm not impressed if someone says 'matched with a girl on tinder. She said 'hey sexy!!!'. told her to come over for sex. She came over and we had sex straight away'. With cold approach, I could do exactly the same as any other PUA in their body and in their location in terms of success. As i'd expect they could all replicate my success in my body and approaching the same girls. The differences would be minor.

The game for the op, me and everyone else when it comes to cold approach is to spot EXISTING interest. I can tell within about 3 seconds after I say 'hi' whether i'll be wasting my time or not. And then flirt and lead the interaction to sex (which is honestly so easy, assuming she is attracted to you. So easy that I often can't believe people even need to read 'game' books etc.)

 

[CornbreadFed]

To clarify, while I do live with my parents, I don't subsist on them. I buy my own things, I make my own food, I do my own laundry, and I handle personal problems as they arise (car troubles, medical visits, taxes, etc). I found a statistic that 19% of men aged 25-34 in the USA live with their parents - it's not the majority, and it's not ideal, but I wouldn't consider that rare either.

This doesn’t apply to you because you own your own business and just making ends meet. I was kind of just venting about some people i know low key lol.

 

[SW15]

I found a statistic that 19% of men aged 25-34 in the USA live with their parents - it's not the majority, and it's not ideal, but I wouldn't consider that rare either.

It's been a common trend since the early 2000s for men 21-34 to live at home with a parent or parents.

In the last 20-25 years, there have been so many college graduates who have had to live at home with their parents after graduation.

High school graduates who don't pursue a bachelor's degree are often living with a parent/parents for multiple years after age 18.

For the 25-34 year old age bracket, that number really popped in the late 2000s/early 2010s economic mess. I was in my mid to late 20s during the recessionary period. It was awful.

That said, there's a much greater stigma and SMV penalty for adult men 25-34 who live with a parent as compared to adult women who do that.

 

[characternote]

I have no idea about official stats here in the UK, but a HUGE percentage of guys in their 30's who I meet tell me they either live with their parents or in a 'flat share' with strangers. Cost of living crisis here. Single guys can only afford their own place if they have an exceptionally well paid job (or they live in a very cheap area up North in Newcastle or something)

 

[BPH]

Thanks @BPH but one last and then I'll leave you to it.


What signs are you looking for? Isn't part of seduction you beguiling her so that she does become interested?

I like this question, but because it's multiple questions, I want to break it down and answer each piece, because I think it's worth the extra clarification.

Starting with this piece.

Seduction isn't about convincing somebody to be interested in you - most women will have decided within the first few seconds of meeting you whether they're open to sleeping with you. Seduction is about facilitating everything that comes after her showing interest; it's about leading her to what she wants without creating so much friction that you turn her off, or she loses interest.

Just as how a woman I find unattractive couldn't do anything to convince me that I want to sleep with her. However, a woman I find attractive could certainly show me enough traits or red flags to convince me not to sleep with her.

When I'm looking for interest, I'm looking for signs that she wants me to continue spending time with her. I'm looking for whether she cares to ask me my name. I'm looking to see whether she's showing me more attention than she's showing her friends. I'm looking for whether she's smiling, asking me questions about myself, that she's comfortable being in close proximity to me, and isn't creating distance.

If she's giving me the time of day and making me a priority over whatever she was doing before I introduced myself, then I continue and see where the interaction could go.

You are a Chad so it's easy for you. But what if he's not a Chad? Most men aren't so women aren't just gonna "be interested" unless the man does something to create interest.

Most women are not going to be interested in the average man. So then his choice is to become an above-average man, or to keep looking for women who are content with an average man.

I cannot stress enough that I did not start as, and have not always been a Chad.

I was tall, lanky, skinny, had braces, glasses, and didn't dress well. I remember in middle school there was a girl who I thought was cute, who I asked out, and got rejected by. There was another guy who was also interested in her and planned to ask her out. I told him that I already tried, and she wasn't interested. He said, and I still remember this more than 15 years later, "yeah, but I have a better chance than you".

People did not see me the way I wanted them to, so I made changes in myself until they did. I preach this with my coaching, but if guys are looking to attract higher-quality women, they cannot do that if they're not willing to become what the market wants. That's just not how it works.

Saying you flirt is so broad. How do you flirt?

I agree it's nuanced as you said, but can you be more specific?

Like for example, great eye contact, teasing her, C&F, mirroring her, light keno, creating tension through push/pull?

In my experience many men flounder in this area and the seduction falls flat.

I've watched/listened to interviews with Neil Strauss and he outlined his seduction strategy beautifully!

Almost step by step, he gave examples from initial meet to close. It was brilliant! And I can be a pretty tough nut to crack sometimes.

And unlike you, he didn't have the height or Chad looks.

But his seduction "Game" worked. And he made a heck of a lot of money teaching it (which I assume is your goal as well).

This is why I am such an advocate for cold approaching. A man needs to learn what works for HIM, and that's best done through trial and error until something sticks.

The question you're asking when you mention giving specific examples is something that was actually a huge mental block for me when I was first getting started with this. I'd read so much material and learned so many different terms and methodologies; kino, push-pull, ****y & funny, mirroring, etc. Nothing is wrong with these ideals, but men seeking to emulate them often find themselves going through them like a checklist, step by step.

They end up trying to remember how to do X when they arrive at Y situation. I don't believe there's any substitute for becoming a natural if you really want to have success with women and get laid a lot. The interaction should flow and be effortless. That's much harder to do when you're encountering everything for the first time. But when you've talked to and dealt with enough women and had some success, you'll be able to default to what worked for you before in that situation, and it will be more likely for you to succeed again.

For me, if you want something more specific, it involves being incredibly direct. I go up to who I want, I tell them I find them attractive, and then I improvise based on how they respond. I'll ask her name, get some background information on who she's here with, and where she's staying/living, then move forward with the interaction with the list I mentioned earlier with that information to refer back to when/if it's time to leave. The plate I mentioned that re-entered my life, the first night we were out having drinks at the bar, she asked me what I was doing later that night. I smiled, looked her in the eyes, and said "you". Some guys will not have the confidence to be so blunt and direct - so my advice is to get out there, talk to women, and find what works for you.

Further, I wholly advocate for @BeExcellent 's suggestion to read The Art of Seduction. I can't speak for Neil Strauss and The Game, but I find Art of Seduction is most helpful by identifying the archetypes and anti-seducer traits each man embodies, so you can internalize that information and act on/avoid certain behaviors in real-time, rather than when thinking in hindsight.

 

[BPH]

The game for the op, me and everyone else when it comes to cold approach is to spot EXISTING interest.

If I had to distill "game" down to an idea, I'd define it as such: presenting the most attractive version of yourself possible, then capitalizing on those who show interest while facilitating the close.

Also, don't worry, I didn't feel attacked. Nothing offends me

 

[Sega Genesis]

Further, I wholly advocate for @BeExcellent 's suggestion to read The Art of Seduction. I can't speak for Neil Strauss and The Game, but I find Art of Seduction is most helpful by identifying the archetypes and anti-seducer traits each man embodies, so you can internalize that information and act on/avoid certain behaviors in real-time, rather than when thinking in hindsight.

^^I haven't read "The Art of Seduction" OR "The Game" but have listened to both Robert Greene and Neil Strauss in interviews and podcasts and was totally impressed with both for different reasons.