Share something that helped your life

[darksprezzatura]

It will help everyone who reads it.

A bit of a background about myself. I joined this forum almost a decade ago, completely clueless, butthurt, emotionally a wreck looking for direction and to figure out what went wrong. My perspective to life shifted after a lot of reading and experimenting.

This forum has been a constant source of amusement, motivation and brotherhood.

Ive dated maybe hundreds of women. At one point I was sleeping with over 15 girls at the same time, many times multiple women a day. This is for those guys who think it’s the measure of success. I had to go through that to realise it’s not.

I’ll go first, in context of dating, and I’ll share more than one thing.

- The extent to which you’re truly focused on yourself
- Owning your place
- Having a pet
- Constantly improving daily habits/rituals 1% rule
- Daily cleanliness, hygiene and grooming
- Artsy habits like I play the guitar
- Working out
- Risk taking and trying out new things
- Finding a job you truly enjoy
- Being independent and sound financially enough to take care of both your needs
- Being able to talk to anyone who crosses your path without being judgemental whether they are apparently not as successful as you or way more; self assured humility.

I’d be thrilled to hear anything you can add that I might have missed.

 

[BPH]

Honestly, I think getting bullied did me a lot of favors.

Being bullied led me to the gym, which I would say was the strongest contributor to my success with women. I know @CornbreadFed just made a post about the gym falling under "quick fix" solutions to modern dating problems, but going to the gym and committing to health, fitness, and self-improvement just bleeds into so many areas of your life.

I was in 7th grade, and after one particular gym class, while walking down the stairs, I was pushed from behind by one such bully. I retaliated, pushed him back, the teacher saw, and we both got suspended for 1 week for "fighting". Instead of punishing me, my mom saw the underlying issue and signed me up for some sessions with a personal trainer at my local gym to fill my newfound "time off".

That trainer is still a very good family friend. And from that point, I really never stopped going to the gym.

There are just so many benefits that I can't think of any real excuse as to why a man wouldn't adopt such a habit:

• You'll get stronger, healthier, more ripped, and you'll live longer...
• ...which leads to men respecting you...
• ...which leads to women finding you more attractive...
• ...which leads to greater confidence and better self-esteem...
• ...which leads to looking for other areas of your life to improve in, since you've had such a positive experience with this one...
• ...and so on and so forth

It is genuinely the best thing you can do for yourself, no matter who you are.

 

[The Duke]

There were two major events in my life that were the best things to ever happen to me.

The first one was my divorce. I learned that I didn't need a woman for anything. I also learned to improve my social skills because that was critical to having a successful dating life.

The second event was my motorcycle crash. After physical therapy I continued on my own at the gym. I've been a gym regular 3-5 days per week for 17yrs now. The gym habit was born out of necessity so I could manage physical pain and improve range of motion related to my injuries. But most of the pain has now subsided and I enjoy lifting weights and accomplishing my fitness goals.

My crash also slowed me down and I needed it. I was always one to push boundaries and play on the edge. Before my wreck I felt I could cheat death and was invisible. There was nothing I was afraid of or wouldn't try. The wreck also solidified my belief in God as I had a few seconds to prepare for death. Its crazy how serene things can get in a world of chaos at 100mph when you are focused on making it thru the next corner or it being your last. I'm proud to say I've seen the devil and laughed in his face a few times, and it does wonders for your ego and confidence. But you will pay the price eventually, and you better hope God is there to get you thru it. Not everyone is that fortunate.

 

[CornbreadFed]

1). I have always been naturally driven and competitive, so never needed anything to push me. I have never been okay with mediocrity and driven to want new and better things.
2). Leaving my Home City- Gave me more chances at women because I wasn't getting auto rejected for not being white/mental clarity and that start over confidence
3). De-red pilling myself- When Destiny was attacking the red pill and alt-right, I realized how much of a cult it was. Eventually, I was able to be myself instead of a robot and my success with women went up. I stopped getting flakes and dating women that I was actually into instead of acquiring relationships from drunk sex encounters.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Honestly, I think getting bullied did me a lot of favors.

Being bullied led me to the gym, which I would say was the strongest contributor to my success with women. I know @CornbreadFed just made a post about the gym falling under "quick fix" solutions to modern dating problems, but going to the gym and committing to health, fitness, and self-improvement just bleeds into so many areas of your life.

I was in 7th grade, and after one particular gym class, while walking down the stairs, I was pushed from behind by one such bully. I retaliated, pushed him back, the teacher saw, and we both got suspended for 1 week for "fighting". Instead of punishing me, my mom saw the underlying issue and signed me up for some sessions with a personal trainer at my local gym to fill my newfound "time off".

That trainer is still a very good family friend. And from that point, I really never stopped going to the gym.

There are just so many benefits that I can't think of any real excuse as to why a man wouldn't adopt such a habit:

• You'll get stronger, healthier, more ripped, and you'll live longer...
• ...which leads to men respecting you...
• ...which leads to women finding you more attractive...
• ...which leads to greater confidence and better self-esteem...
• ...which leads to looking for other areas of your life to improve in, since you've had such a positive experience with this one...
• ...and so on and so forth

It is genuinely the best thing you can do for yourself, no matter who you are.

Thanks for sharing. Taking care of ourselves is definitely #1.

There were two major events in my life that were the best things to ever happen to me.

The first one was my divorce. I learned that I didn't need a woman for anything. I also learned to improve my social skills because that was critical to having a successful dating life.

The second event was my motorcycle crash. After physical therapy I continued on my own at the gym. I've been a gym regular 3-5 days per week for 17yrs now. The gym habit was born out of necessity so I could manage physical pain and improve range of motion related to my injuries. But most of the pain has now subsided and I enjoy lifting weights and accomplishing my fitness goals.

My crash also slowed me down and I needed it. I was always one to push boundaries and play on the edge. Before my wreck I felt I could cheat death and was invisible. There was nothing I was afraid of or wouldn't try. The wreck also solidified my belief in God as I had a few seconds to prepare for death. Its crazy how serene things can get in a world of chaos at 100mph when you are focused on making it thru the next corner or it being your last. I'm proud to say I've seen the devil and laughed in his face a few times, and it does wonders for your ego and confidence. But you will pay the price eventually, and you better hope God is there to get you thru it. Not everyone is that fortunate.

I understand what you meant by life flashing before you or god here.

1). I have always been naturally driven and competitive, so never needed anything to push me. I have never been okay with mediocrity and driven to want new and better things.
2). Leaving my Home City- Gave me more chances at women because I wasn't getting auto rejected for not being white/mental clarity and that start over confidence
3). De-red pilling myself- When Destiny was attacking the red pill and alt-right, I realized how much of a cult it was. Eventually, I was able to be myself instead of a robot and my success with women went up. I stopped getting flakes and dating women that I was actually into instead of acquiring relationships from drunk sex encounters.

So much truth in this, resonates with me as well.

 

[Clockwerk50]

1. I once read that if you want to be more effective with your daily responsibilities, the key is to just keep moving. As soon as you sit down to relax, it’s much harder to get going again; you lose momentum. I’ve followed that principle since college. It ties into Newton’s First Law of Motion: an object in motion stays in motion. It works the same for people.

2. I’ve mentioned this before, but something a former coworker told me stuck with me. I asked him when it was time for lunch, or maybe when we’d be done for the day, and he said, “The job never ends.” What he meant is that there’s always something else to do, always something waiting. That mindset helped me stop expecting clean breaks or perfect stopping points. You just manage your time, take breaks when needed, and learn to live with the fact that there will always be more **** to take care of the next day.

3. In terms of seduction, one of the biggest turning points for me was learning how the dating game and female psychology really work. When I was younger, I believed I should only focus on one woman at a time and ignore everyone else, just like in the movies. That led to a lot of oneitis and disappointment. Later on, reading books and getting the right guidance helped me shift my perspective. Understanding how attraction works gave me more confidence and clarity.

 

[zekko]

I had a bad habit of negative thinking, which was doing me no good at all. I went through a period where I basically reprogrammed my brain to stop thinking the negative thoughts, and think positive thoughts instead. Almost anything you try to do, the outcome is going to be better if you approach it with a positive attitude than a negative one.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Realizing that you can't always control what happens in life but you can control how you react to it.

The reaction is what determines 80% of what happens in your life over the long run.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Among other events:

Becoming the "victim" of a violent crime, the likes of which nearly terminated my life, and left me pretty much bed ridden for a prolonged period. I ended up engaging in fairly exhaustive introspection, interrogating the veracity of everything I believed to be The Truth up till then

Subsequently I recognized that I was anything but a "victim", and instead just another case of someone leading a lifestyle like so

4:50-5:03, whe fell afoul of of folks with equally degenerate ways. And that the tenets Of Red Pill Theology I'd bought into were no more infallible than everything one finds in Intersectionalist Scripture

 

[Vanderdonck]

Having a mission for my life has made me more successful in all areas of my life, because it helped me set priorities.

It's okay if said mission doesn't pay the bills yet. First priority is to eat. So day jobs and careers are more than ok. Sort it out from there.

 

[ValiantMale]

1) having a social life and social proof. It's so much easier to get women when you have somehting to show that you got good friends and you all have a good time, and there are both women and men around.. When you have a social media and its you and a bunch of girls, alot of girls are immediately turned off.. the slutty ones wont care but they also have a roster

2) having a nice physique.. adds to confidence, attracts more women, etc

3) sexual confidence <-- the biggest for me.. i had to really work on my erection quality, lasting longer, etc.. in doign all this i found some crazy hacks/methods .. nothing has impacted my game more than upping my sexual confidence.. part of it was getting more fit, but alot of it was diet/nutrition/yoga/pelvic excercises/stretching regularly.. and alot of "practice' in the bedroom. In "practice" you can find any girl you can have sex with regularly to really do that.. preferably not a girl you're head over heels with..

4) having hobbies/projects to keep busy with. being busy is a blessing

I would say before you get to any of these, work on becoming financial stable

 

[Ricky]

This is such a great thread with many great suggestions

1) i think being interested in alot of things and having hobbies that you are flexible enough to be done with others or solo (in my case playing a musicial instrument, exercise and reading are my favorites and all can be done in a group or solo when needed)

2) being able to reframe things. Sometimes when i feel bad, i think of all the men that died in wars at a young age and weren't able to experience as much life as me. That puts a healthy dose of perspective on things for me

 

[Divorced w 3]

Forming my pyramid for success with a lot of trial and error- health business family - building from the health component up - in my experience, I cannot succeed in any of them without addressing health in all of its forms - I cannot effectively take care of my family, without knowing and handling my business (career) - it was crucial to understand what each was, all their components, and for me anyway keep it extremely simple and never lose sight

 

[Isildur1]

first daygame lay made me realise what life was like to have my own control in my dating life- my second daygame lay changed my perspective completely on all things dating

learning and becoming fluent in Chinese Mandarin also increased my confidence a lot

 

[plumber]

red pill ideas. you know what they tell, no pain no gain.

 

[jhonny9546]

I went through a period where I basically reprogrammed my brain to stop thinking the negative thoughts, and think positive thoughts instead.

Tell us more

 

[jhonny9546]

As some of you rightly said, going to the gym and eating well can make you a better person.
These consistent habits build discipline and maturity.
But the real question is, which habits truly improve us? Many work hard, but often on the wrong things.


Putting in effort is easy. But ask yourself, Is what I’m doing making me a better man?
Not just “better” in a vague sense, but more resilient, independent, mentally strong, skilled, and emotionally grounded.
For example, becoming an expert in hiking or survival training builds real, useful skills.
Painting ceramics or doing rock climbing at your weekly hobby may bring joy, but does it make you stronger, more capable?
Does that make You a better man?


We must learn to distinguish between activities that truly build us up and those that just feel good, or their purpose is to relief stress from life. A man becomes better by doing hard, useful things regularly.
Things no one else would do. Strength, integrity, and confidence aren’t traits we’re born with, they’re forged by action.
We're not just what we eat, we are what we do.


We need a list of practices that build real men, not for money or status, but for inner strength.
A list of daily/weekly activites, hobbies to include, that build your inner game and make people ever interested in you because you make them feel safe in every situation.

This might be a good point to start something really useful. There are many intelligent and experienced man here.
We might want to have something like "ten commandments"..
It’s easy to start with fitness and nutrition, anyone can do that, tomorrow. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

ps: @darksprezzatura Good post man!

 

[zekko]

Tell us more

Not really much to tell, besides it was such a long time ago. I would tend to get down on myself at times when I was younger, and would have persistent negative, self defeating thoughts. So I made it a point to guard my thoughts, and when I caught myself thinking a negative thought, I would intentionally replace it with a positive thought. Didn't take as long as you might think to create new habits. I used to get depressed fairly often when I was younger, these days I rarely do. I'm very happy and grateful for my life.

Relating it to women, there's a PUA saying I'm fond of: Make her come up with her own reason to reject you, don't come up with it yourself.

 

[BadBoy89]

1). I have always been naturally driven and competitive, so never needed anything to push me. I have never been okay with mediocrity and driven to want new and better things.

So driven and competitive that you have posted no field reports about women.

You probably meant you are driven and competitive about your theory posts.

2). Leaving my Home City- Gave me more chances at women because I wasn't getting auto rejected for not being white/mental clarity and that start over confidence

Using race as `excuse for not being able to attract women.

Not the first time its happened.

3). De-red pilling myself- When Destiny was attacking the red pill and alt-right, I realized how much of a cult it was. Eventually, I was able to be myself instead of a robot and my success with women went up. I stopped getting flakes and dating women that I was actually into instead of acquiring relationships from drunk sex encounters.

Your success is so good with women that you have posted 0 field reports.

‘relationships from drunk sex encounters“? Bro you overplayed your hand. It’s obvious all your posts are fake. Sorry, all your posts are about theory with no field reports.

 

[jhonny9546]

Life its a random intersect of your habits + the random encounters you do.
Given your habits (where you spend your time) you'll find different "class" of people and so life events


Aneddotical experience, one of my friend was a man with the pack 10 years ago, and just by singing in church, he met an amazing woman. They have the greatest LTR i know of.

So you have to be a man.
Be prepared for it.
And good things will come to you when you stop searching for them.
But you were ready for.