Are your dating problems actual problems or excuses?

[CornbreadFed]

@CornbreadFed - As for your friend, he is fortunate that he can get laid. Do you have any idea why he can't retain women after sex? It's possible that he's tall/good looking but has poor social skills. The lack of daily female interaction for 4 years can affect social skills for a while after that.

He is 5ft 10 and looks like a corporate Ron Livingston. He managed to get female interaction outside school, but he never developed any emotional IQ and sees women similar to what a gymcel or bitter red pill would see them. He is not affiliated with the red pill though. Back to the schooling, I think a guy that goes to a normal HS and doesn't achieve anything with women is in the same situation like @MatureDJ.

 

[SW15]

Back to the schooling, I think a guy that goes to a normal HS and doesn't achieve anything with women is in the same situation like @MatureDJ.

@MatureDJ would have been mostly ignored at a co-ed high school too due to his below average height.

For an average range height and average range overall looks guy, I think there would be a difference between spending Grades 9-12 in a co-ed high school vs. an all-boys high school.

He is 5ft 10 and looks like a corporate Ron Livingston. He managed to get female interaction outside school, but he never developed any emotional IQ

On height/looks, he sounds very average. Not developing emotional IQ can happen at both co-ed schools and all-boys schools.

sees women similar to what a gymcel or bitter red pill would see them. He is not affiliated with the red pill though.

That's not a very helpful viewpoint. It's a good idea to soften one's red pill or black pill ideologies a bit in mating interactions.

 

[CornbreadFed]

@MatureDJ would have been mostly ignored at a co-ed high school too due to his below average height.

For an average range height and average range overall looks guy, I think there would be a difference between spending Grades 9-12 in a co-ed high school vs. an all-boys high school.

Most guys I see struggle the most with women chose to completely avoid acquiring any experience with women in MS and HS. I remember I was told this baby boomer lie that as long as I made it to college then everything would be fine. No, it was a terrible dating experience, and I am arguably a Chad lite. There're rites of passages for a man to fulfil and some key ones are in HS and MS. When a guy goes into a post HS environment without those experiences then he is behind his competition.

 

[SW15]

Most guys I see struggle the most with women chose to completely avoid acquiring any experience with women in MS and HS. When a guy goes into a post HS environment without those experiences then he is behind his competition.

If a male goes into a post high school environment (community college, 4 year university, or the working world) as a virgin or with limited dating experiences from Grades 7-12, then he's going to have a tough time for years to come after that. It can take until ages 25-30 to recover from limited experiences during the ages of 12-18. That ages 25-30 estimate is based on actually putting it the correct foundations from ages 18-20/21 after a bad time in Grades 7-12.

This subject was touched upon in SoSuave's comprehensive college sex thread (for those attending 4 year universities). The college sex thread is a great resource for those interested in sex lives on college campuses.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

I remember I was told this baby boomer lie that as long as I made it to college then everything would be fine. No, it was a terrible dating experience, and I am arguably a Chad lite.

Boomer parents told their mostly Millennial children many lies about jobs/economics and the mating environment.

If most late 1940s/1950s born Boomer males had entered the world as 1980s or early 1990s born Millennials (like their sons), their likely path would have been incel or borderline incel. The mating environment of the 2000s-2010s for young adults got that much more challenging.

I have no idea why Boomers would say that about the mating environment. There were Boomer TV shows about dating during middle and high school. One of the best examples of this was "The Wonder Years", which was about middle and high school dating during the 1968-1973 (re-told 20 years later from 1988-1993). The main character of Kevin Arnold has massive beta male energy, as evidenced by his massive one-itis for Winnie Cooper.

The culture of high school dating in the 1960s-1970s was heavily influenced by Boomers trying to date in high school.

A smaller percentage of Boomers went to college as compared to the percentage of Millennials that went to college.

 

[MatureDJ]

@MatureDJ would have been mostly ignored at a co-ed high school too due to his below average height.

For an average range height and average range overall looks guy, I think there would be a difference between spending Grades 9-12 in a co-ed high school vs. an all-boys high school.

I think I could have HonorStudentMaxxed at a co-ed high school. Smart chicks are very hypergamous with respect to intelligence.

 

[MatureDJ]

I think a guy that goes to a normal HS and doesn't achieve anything with women is in the same situation like @MatureDJ.

No, that guy will still have the structure of a SocialCircle that will stay with him throughout his life, so long as he doesn't move away.

 

[MatureDJ]

If most late 1940s/1950s born Boomer males had entered the world as 1980s or early 1990s born Millennials (like their sons), their likely path would have been incel or borderline incel. The mating environment of the 2000s-2010s for young adults got that much more challenging.

This is so true.

 

[SW15]

No, that guy will still have the structure of a SocialCircle that will stay with him throughout his life, so long as he doesn't move away.

That's true IF he's able to develop a social circle.

That male is dependent on his parents not relocating him during his K-12 years.

I have seen examples of late Gen X/early Millennial beta males (born late 1970s-early 1980s) who were able to get into LTRs with women on the strength of their social circles. These are males who spend the entirety of their K-12 years in the same geographical area. If/when these males went to college, they went to a regional college within 2-4 hours driving distance of where they grew up. After college, they went back to the same area where they grew up. Their strong geographic roots in an area gave them the social circle contacts to be able to date.

All of these males that I described in the previous paragraphs would be incel/borderline incel without their social circles and dependent upon real life approaches/app swiping.

In Dallas, I have noticed that most app swipers are transplanted adults with no childhood ties to this region.

 

[MatureDJ]

That's true IF he's able to develop a social circle.

That male is dependent on his parents not relocating him during his K-12 years.

I have seen examples of late Gen X/early Millennial beta males (born late 1970s-early 1980s) who were able to get into LTRs with women on the strength of their social circles. These are males who spend the entirety of their K-12 years in the same geographical area. If/when these males went to college, they went to a regional college within 2-4 hours driving distance of where they grew up. After college, they went back to the same area where they grew up. Their strong geographic roots in an area gave them the social circle contacts to be able to date.

All of these males that I described in the previous paragraphs would be incel/borderline incel without their social circles and dependent upon real life approaches/app swiping.

In Dallas, I have noticed that most app swipers are transplanted adults with no childhood ties to this region.

So basically, it's OVER for TransplantCels.

 

[SW15]

So basically, it's OVER for TransplantCels.

Relocations tend to weaken social circles. The easiest way to get a girlfriend with the least amount of grief and frustration is through a social circle for non-elite tier looking men.

A man who has had multiple relocations will be far less likely to feel the impact of the relocations if he is 6'0"+ and fit/muscular.

Looks > relocations/lack of social circle

If a man is good looking enough, he can generate enough interest swiping and even approaching in real life. DMing on social media isn't entirely looks. Status factors like Follower to Following ratio and the blue check mark matter. At a certain looks level, swiping becomes hyper efficient and real life approaching would be less efficient.

I had to develop more tactical game due to my multiple childhood and adulthood relocations. Although I've been in my current city over a decade, I've never had the social circle options that someone would have had with spending their more formative years here.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Why does it always have to be either problems or excuses? Why can't it be a continuum/gradient/spectrum as it is in reality?

Lolz.

 

[BadBoy89]

Hopefully one of these days, some of you guys who are so fixated on age will realize it's not black and white and it depends on the woman individually.

HER nature, her personality, her values.

Even her looks! As there are many 'older' women way more attractive than their younger counterparts at least in my neck of the woods (SoCal).

All things being equal and not speaking in extremes (overweight ugly 18 year old vs in shape hot 33 year old); its a man's DNA to be attracted to younger women. It's not something that can be controlled. A man will always want to have sex with a younger woman than an older woman. Now someone is going to say "No way, I like older woman, they are amazing in bed and know what they want." That's NOT the point. The point is a man is naturally attracted to the younger woman. Her youth, her freshness, her estrogen, it really turns him on.

Now if you are talking companionship, going on trips, going to restaurants, going with friends; then yes, a man prefers a woman around his age, even older than him is OK.

But for sex? It's always attraction for the younger woman, generally below 27. Generally, all men want from a woman is her youth. That's it. Anything else they don't care about. When a woman gives a man her youth, he will likely love her for a long time. When a woman doesn't give a man her youth, he could almost care less about her, she is very replaceable.

Now before women freak out, if you switch it around, the same thing applies when it comes to a man's height. It's a woman's DNA to be attracted to a tall man, over 6'0. It's not something that can be controlled. A woman will always want to have sex with a tall man than a short man.

And for all the anger women feel for men liking younger women, a man will still have sex with an older woman if she keeps fit a looks good. A woman won't have sex with a shorter man even if he looks good and keeps fit.

So for the 2 top things that attract the opposite sex to each other (youth for men, height for women), women still win.

Brutal.

 

[Vanderdonck]

All things being equal and not speaking in extremes (overweight ugly 18 year old vs in shape hot 33 year old); its a man's DNA to be attracted to younger women. It's not something that can be controlled. A man will always want to have sex with a younger woman than an older woman. Now someone is going to say "No way, I like older woman, they are amazing in bed and know what they want." That's NOT the point. The point is a man is naturally attracted to the younger woman. Her youth, her freshness, her estrogen, its really turns him on.

Now if you are talking companionship, going on trips, going to restaurants, going with friends; then yes, a man prefers a woman around his age, even older than him is OK.

But for sex? It's always attraction for the younger woman, generally below 27. Generally, all men want from a woman is her youth. That's it. Anything else they don't care about. When a woman gives a man her youth, he will likely love her for a long time. When a woman doesn't give a man her youth, he could almost care less about her, she is very replaceable.

Now before women freak out, if you switch it around, the same thing applies when it comes to a man's height. It's a woman's DNA to be attracted to a tall man, over 6'0. It's not something that can be controlled. A woman will always want to have sex with a tall man than a short man.

And for all the anger women feel for men liking younger women, a man will still have sex with an older woman if she keeps fit a looks good. A woman won't have sex with a shorter man even if he looks good and keeps fit.

So for the 2 top things that attract the opposite sex to each other (youth for men, height for women), women still win.

Brutal.

All confirmed by the existence of the cosmetics, diet, and fitness industries marketed to women.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think I could have HonorStudentMaxxed at a co-ed high school. Smart chicks are very hypergamous with respect to intelligence.

I was valedictorian. I tried asking the salutatorian chick to the prom. She still turned me down and so did five other chicks.

 

[Divorced w 3]

High intelligence is an asset! Is this a serious post?

 

[Mike32ct]

High intelligence is an asset! Is this a serious post?

Yes. It honestly happened. I was very well liked in high school, but it was in a friendzone/brotherly sort of way.

Being a geek might be considered a flex today, but back in Gen X’s day, it wasn’t. It was straight out of a stereotypical high school movie involving “nerds” and “jocks.”

 

[CornbreadFed]

Yes. It honestly happened. I was very well liked in high school, but it was in a friendzone sort of way.

Being a geek might be considered a flex today, but back in Gen X’s day, it wasn’t. It was straight out of a stereotypical high school movie involving “nerds” and “jocks.”

I don’t see this being an asset. I listed high intelligence as a setback because it will get you friend zoned often and a lot of failed first dates unless it is compliments being a Chad or good looking bad boy. In addition, intelligent girls are extremely hypergamous and good at hiding it from the public eye too. IMHO, it’s a safe bet to assume most high intelligent women are 304s behind closed doors.

However, I understand where you are coming from because I tend well-liked by everyone on a surface level.

 

[SW15]

I think I could have HonorStudentMaxxed at a co-ed high school. Smart chicks are very hypergamous with respect to intelligence.

I was valedictorian. I tried asking the salutatorian chick to the prom. She still turned me down and so did five other chicks.

At a co-ed high school, @MatureDJ still would have been a sexual non-factor, mainly due to his below average height. Being an honor student would have made no difference.

The smart females in this theoretical high school might not even have even been physically appealing. I had to think about my high school and see if I could remember any females who were both smart and physically appealing. In high school, my attraction was mainly based on looks, not any personal attributes. I remember one female who was cute range and smart. She graduated in the same year I did and near the top of my class.

During most of the last 2 years of high school, she was in a relationship with a male who was above average looking (not top tier), taller than she was, and was average/below average in GPA and intelligence. Even in the early internet era in high school (late 1990s/very early 2000s), looks were #1.

Later in life, she made numerous internet posts that showed that she had a terrible personality. She has never married and likely had a mediocre to subpar mating environment experience in the years since high school. She's likely an involuntarily solitude (Chateau Heartiste term) female. She's likely been able to get sex over the years based on looks if she can suppress her toxic feminist personality enough. I don't recall her being a toxic feminist when she was in high school. I think that part of her personality emerged later in life.

@Mike32ct 's results in asking for prom dates seem typical for a valedictorian. An intellect near equal shot him down and so did 5 other women. I think there was a problem in his method. He should have asked the salutatorian and the 5 other women on regular dates at times well before prom season and found an actual girlfriend from that pool of 6. Then, he should have asked his girlfriend to prom. That would have been more likely to succeed. However, it is also realistic that all 6 of those females would have rejected a more standard dinner at a restaurant or activity type date with him too, leaving him in the same spot (dateless at prom).

High intelligence is an asset! Is this a serious post?

I listed high intelligence as a setback because it will get you friend zoned often and a lot of failed first dates unless it is compliments being a Chad or good looking bad boy.

Yes. It honestly happened. I was very well liked in high school, but it was in a friendzone sort of way.

Being geeky might be considered a flex today, but back in Gen X’s day, it wasn’t. It was straight out of a stereotypical movie involving “nerds” and “jocks.”

In the mating environment, high intelligence is not as asset.

In high schools and colleges, it is common to see the most intelligent, likely highest GPA males as sexless/near sexless. Many of them are into STEM topics and the autism spectrum is a likely consideration. Both intelligent neurotypicals and autists are likely to struggle to get sex and relationships.

During prime working years, more intelligent males are often overlooked too for the good looking guys. If a highly intelligent male has a lot of money, he might get some attention from women. The money threshold is higher on this. These are classic "Beta Bucks" guys. It's not a good position. It is less common for women to have genuine, burning desire for these men.

@Mike32ct and @CornbreadFed describe better case scenarios for highly intelligent men. They get either friend zoned or a lot of failed, sexless first dates. In worse case scenarios, they are either ignored or mocked.

Being nerdy/geeky today doesn't result in much different treatment than in Generation X's heyday in the mating environment (1980s-1990s).

 

[CoolWave1331]

I don' know what it was like dating 1980s, 1990's even early 2000s but I have seen shows like Saved By The Bell. The smart guy, Screech, was portraye as a really dorky, poorly dressed guy with a rakish build (yet he was still part of the 'cool' group?)

What we are really talking about is poor social intelligence. There's lots of athletes for example, smart, good grades/gpa's, that go onto take challenging technical subjects @ University.

 

[Vanderdonck]

I don' know what it was like dating 1980s, 1990's even early 2000s but I have seen shows like Saved By The Bell. The smart guy, Screech, was portraye as a really dorky, poorly dressed guy with a rakish build (yet he was still part of the 'cool' group?)

Lol having lived through them, Saved by the Bell was not an accurate representation of anything in reality.