The importance of doing what you love in life, but how do you find?

[Pumax]

Un mio amico/collega mi ha mandato questa email

At each stage of our lifes, we confront with one or more social circles.
For example, when we become parents, we naturally join social groups tied to our children's activities: school, sports, after-school programs, etc.
These groups are always mixed. Some people are kind and supportive; others may be toxic. It's not about how healthy or unhealthy the group is as a whole. It’s about learning how to adapt, interact, even with the toxic ones.

You’ll meet all kinds of people.
Competitive sports parents, for example, often include both great allies and difficult individuals such as those toxic ones (they're the majority), and also, shared activities don’t guarantee deep friendships.

True friends are like the pulp left behind in the strainer when you squeeze an orange, after countless social encounters, they’re the ones who remain when everything else has passed through.

This actually mean you should NOT isolate yourself because "everyone is toxic", or because you now know that. This actually might be true, unfortunately.
Instead, take things with humor, stay open, and use your personal "filter" to spot the few genuine connections worth keeping for the long term, while you're actually socializing with toxic people.

So as the saying goes, after countless social encounters, you actually have to be there squeezing the juice, and occasionally taking the liquid that comes out, putting it in the strainer, filtering the people, and seeing which ones are suitable and which ones you will instead throw in the sink because, they are not healthy, or cannot change,

This really makes sense.

Have you noticed how much he focuses on social groups?
It means that many of the activities we engage in on a daily basis need to be filtered by us in order to allow interaction with a variety of people, but at the same time, they need to stay within our personal "field of interest."


For example, if I enjoy playing soccer but dislike tennis, it’s clear that even if I start playing tennis and make some acquaintances, I might still not enjoy myself, or I might not build any real friendships.
That’s why, after trying many different things in life, we also need to identify the ones we truly enjoy more than others, and stick with those.


So, as adult men, how do you keep finding new experiences or things to do that keep your exploratory side alive and help you discover what you enjoy?
Maybe once a week or once a month you dedicate time to something you’ve never done before, but how do you find that activity? How do you come across it?

 

[Vanderdonck]

So, as adult men, how do you keep finding new experiences or things to do that keep your exploratory side alive and help you discover what you enjoy?
Maybe once a week or once a month you dedicate time to something you’ve never done before, but how do you find that activity? How do you come across it?

You answered your own question. Give things a try if you don't have a clear idea.

You'll know you're really into a hobby or activity if you find yourself doing it for long periods of time without distraction - not even getting up to go the bathroom.

 

[BaronOfHair]

"For example, when we become parents, we naturally join social groups tied to our children's activities"

Nothing "natural" there... One makes a choice to associate with mostly folks similar to themselves

 

[Pumax]

You'll know you're really into a hobby or activity

I understand your point, but How do you actually pick that hobby?
You write down a list of activities that interests You, but what if you've tried them all yet?
How do you find new activities to try out?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I understand your point, but How do you actually pick that hobby?
You write down a list of activities that interests You, but what if you've tried them all yet?
How do you find new activities to try out?

MUSHROOMS

 

[Chow Mein]

I understand your point, but How do you actually pick that hobby?
You write down a list of activities that interests You, but what if you've tried them all yet?
How do you find new activities to try out?

Give every ‘hobby’ a try, you’ll never know which ones you actually stick with.

I never thought of my hobbies I enjoy now, I would have initially.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Doing something you love will always stems from The Arts and doing something creative. If you think of something and it has a spark that inspires you long term, then that's the one you should be focusing on.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Doing something you love will always stems from The Arts and doing something creative.

The arts are hardly the only way of doing so. Two examples:

-Bob Oppenheimer and Co discovered a way to wipe out 200,000-250,000 previously unimaginable to anyone who'd live prior to Hiroshima and Nagasaki

-Whoever orchestrated "Adam" here's untimely exit https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/uk-58415046.amp outdid the sh-t depicted in fiction like The Serpent And The Rainbow and The Believers

 

[Mike32ct]

You have to do what you are naturally good at.

If you don’t have a talent for it, that initial love/passion for it will burn out.

TLDR: It will stop being fun if you suck at it.

 

[eli77]

Always loved that book what color is your parachute very informative.

 

[eli77]

One book that has helped me was what color is your parachute.

 

[BadBoy89]

My friend was a Salsa Dancing teacher. He told me to join. I told him I hated any type of dancing, its not for me. I reluctantly joined one the classes he was teaching, alot of young girls were in the class. During the class, you had to switch partners every 10 minutes or so. After the 3rd "switch" I wasn't enjoying myself. Then my friend said "switch" again and I got paired with the hottest 19 year old blond girl you could imagine, she was a ballerina.

You know what she told me during our dance? She said "you are a good (dance) leader" I still remember that. Me. The guy who hated dancing. How did I go from not enjoying myself and sucking at dancing to suddenly becoming a good dance leader? I'll you why, because I was in love.

Moral of story: if there is a hot young girl with you while you are doing the thing you don't have a passion for, you will learn to have a passion for it.