Is it possible for one event to drastically impact the course of a man's dating/sex life?

[SW15]

Yeah in an interview I always say I am looking at other prospects and can't make a decision now. Works all the time

Are you in white collar? White collar has taken the worst of this recession.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

Are you in white collar? White collar has taken the worst of this recession.

Yes

 

[MatureDJ]

In co-ed high schools in the USA, the primary dances are formal dances for Homecoming and Prom. There are occasional less formal dances at USA high schools.

For Homecoming and Prom, it is a good idea to bring a girlfriend / pre-arranged date to them.

Less formal dances might be an opportunity to meet someone new.

At single sex schools, there are dances between the all-male and all-female schools that are useful as an opportunity to meet someone of the opposite sex. Those at single sex schools don't get daily interaction with the opposite sex, so those dances are one of the primary means to find a date/girlfriend.

There's not much of a need to think about high school dances once high school ends.

We didn't have these mixers at my high-school. Everyone was on his own. I remember a friend of mine that had graduated about the same year saying that 20 years after graduation (i.e., age 38), only half his class had ever married.

 

[SW15]

We didn't have these mixers at my high-school. Everyone was on his own.

Your high school was an anomaly. I have spoken to attendees of other all-male high schools and they all mentioned socials/dances in conjunction with the nearby all-female high schools.

Even in all-male high schools with dances/socials, individual dating success in high school was mostly dependent upon the strength of the individual male's K-8 era social network. If a male doesn't enter 9th grade at an all-male high school with a good social network of female friends/acquaintances, Grades 9-12 are going to be socially more difficult.

I remember a friend of mine that had graduated about the same year saying that 20 years after graduation (i.e., age 38), only half his class had ever married.

That person graduated high school in the 1980s. A 50% marriage rate for Gen X'ers who had ages 18-38 between the mid-1980s and mid-2000s would have been atrocious. That marriage rate would be a low marriage rate for Millennials turning 38 in the 2020s.

Gen X had higher marriage rates and earlier marriages than Gen Y/Millennials (the next generation after them).

I'm think that a lot of that 1980s graduating class was made up of academically gifted males who were socially stunted. STEM nerds might have been common too.

Are you in white collar? White collar has taken the worst of this recession.

Yes

I'm saddened for you. White collar interviewing in the worst.

In the last 20-30 years, too many people have gotten college degrees and a lot of college degrees are worthless. There is now an oversupply of bachelor's degree + holding people pursuing white collar, office work.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I have spoken to attendees of other all-male high schools and they all mentioned socials/dances in conjunction with the nearby all-female high schools.

Fellas who spent K-12 in male-only schools frequently begin having sex much sooner than the rest of us... It just ain't with women, and they're generally on the receiving end

 

[GoodMan32]

We didn't have these mixers at my high-school. Everyone was on his own. I remember a friend of mine that had graduated about the same year saying that 20 years after graduation (i.e., age 38), only half his class had ever married.

Now that's really saying something. Religious schools are obviously big on pushing the idea of getting married. Yet even so, only half your classmates ended up getting married.

Goes to show: No matter how much the marriage idea gets instilled into the heads of teenage boys, if they attend school in a setting where they have no contact with the opposite sex, there's a high chance they won't grow into men a woman wants to marry.

Your high school was an anomaly. I have spoken to attendees of other all-male high schools and they all mentioned socials/dances in conjunction with the nearby all-female high schools.

Even in all-male high schools with dances/socials, individual dating success in high school was mostly dependent upon the strength of the individual male's K-8 era social network. If a male doesn't enter 9th grade at an all-male high school with a good social network of female friends/acquaintances, Grades 9-12 are going to be socially more difficult.



That person graduated high school in the 1980s. A 50% marriage rate for Gen X'ers who had ages 18-38 between the mid-1980s and mid-2000s would have been atrocious. That marriage rate would be a low marriage rate for Millennials turning 38 in the 2020s.

Gen X had higher marriage rates and earlier marriages than Gen Y/Millennials (the next generation after them).

I'm think that a lot of that 1980s graduating class was made up of academically gifted males who were socially stunted. STEM nerds might have been common too.





I'm saddened for you. White collar interviewing in the worst.

In the last 20-30 years, too many people have gotten college degrees and a lot of college degrees are worthless. There is now an oversupply of bachelor's degree + holding people pursuing white collar, office work.

Off the top of my head, there's only one guy I went to K-8 with who ended up attending an all male high school. I totally lost track of him (haven't seen him since 8th grade, nor had I ever even seen anything about him online...until a few minutes ago). After a quick Google search, I was able to find his wedding website. He's now married (to a wife whose looks are nothing special)

The wedding website mentioned how they met: They met at a bar shortly after he graduated college (in other words, he didn't have to rely on his existing K-8 social circle to get her)

Fellas who spent K-12 in male-only schools frequently begin having sex much sooner than the rest of us... It just ain't with women, and they're generally on the receiving end

Just like jail I suppose: Lots of sex, just not with the opposite gender (and often times, they receive the sausage against their will)

 

[SW15]

Off the top of my head, there's only one guy I went to K-8 with who ended up attending an all male high school. I totally lost track of him (haven't seen him since 8th grade, nor had I ever even seen anything about him online...until a few minutes ago). After a quick Google search, I was able to find his wedding website. He's now married (to a wife whose looks are nothing special)

The wedding website mentioned how they met: They met at a bar shortly after he graduated college (in other words, he didn't have to rely on his existing K-8 social circle to get her)

How is his SMV?

His K-8 social circle might have gotten him a girlfriend or two during Grades 9-12. When he went to college, he had 4 years to either figure out dating (might have been tough) or maybe build on the experiences of his 1-2 girlfriends in high school.

If he didn't have a strong K-8 social circle and didn't date much in high school, he probably had a brutal time spending the 4 years of college figuring out attraction and retention.

He was able to get a mid-tier woman at a bar, retain her for years, and put a ring on it.

Now that's really saying something. Religious schools are obviously big on pushing the idea of getting married. Yet even so, only half your classmates ended up getting married.

Goes to show: No matter how much the marriage idea gets instilled into the heads of teenage boys, if they attend school in a setting where they have no contact with the opposite sex, there's a high chance they won't grow into men a woman wants to marry.

It seems like there were a lot of men in this subset who lacked the logistical capability of meeting women, even in a friendlier late 1980s-1990s mating culture. They fell behind the curve in high school and weren't able to catch up during the 4 years of college and their 20s.

 

[corrector]

Just like when you already have a job, you're more attractive to employers.

That is not true. Try and double your salary at a better job than you have now and see how "attractive" you really are.

 

[GoodMan32]

How is his SMV?

His K-8 social circle might have gotten him a girlfriend or two during Grades 9-12. When he went to college, he had 4 years to either figure out dating (might have been tough) or maybe build on the experiences of his 1-2 girlfriends in high school.

If he didn't have a strong K-8 social circle and didn't date much in high school, he probably had a brutal time spending the 4 years of college figuring out attraction and retention.

He was able to get a mid-tier woman at a bar, retain her for years, and put a ring on it.



It seems like there were a lot of men in this subset who lacked the logistical capability of meeting women, even in a friendlier late 1980s-1990s mating culture. They fell behind the curve in high school and weren't able to catch up during the 4 years of college and their 20s.

I'd say his SMV is decent. He was one of the tallest kids in my grade (in 8th grade, he was already 6 feet). He's well-dressed and came from one of the few other wealthy households in the town I was raised in (that's how he could afford to go to an expensive private high school)

After checking out his social media, I saw a picture of him at a school dance in 2008 with a blonde whose looks were above-average. It would appear his all-male high school must have had co-ed dances with the all-female counterpart school.

Another thing I will mention: He attended the University of South Carolina (I wasn't raised anywhere near South Carolina, so I don't mind sharing this tidbit, as it won't give any hints to where I was raised)

From what I understand, the University of South Carolina is a preppy school. His preppy style would have fit right in.

The one thing that might have held him back in college (and explain why he ultimately had to hold off on finding a wife until he moved back north after college) was being half Latino (and yeah, his Latino side showed in his appearance, despite his preppy White surname). I would imagine being half Latino could have made a lot of preppy White hotties at the University of South Carolina turn him down.

 

[SW15]

It would appear his all-male high school must have had co-ed dances with the all-female counterpart school.

That can help. Most all-male high schools have socials/dances with the nearby all-female high schools. @MatureDJ 's high school was an anomaly on that.

Even with those socials/dances, the K-8 social network matters.

He attended the University of South Carolina (I wasn't raised anywhere near South Carolina, so I don't mind sharing this tidbit, as it won't give any hints to where I was raised)

From what I understand, the University of South Carolina is a preppy school. His preppy style would have fit right in.

The one thing that might have held him back in college (and explain why he ultimately had to hold off on finding a wife until he moved back north after college) was being half Latino (and yeah, his Latino side showed in his appearance, despite his preppy White surname). I would imagine being half Latino could have made a lot of preppy White hotties at the University of South Carolina turn him down.

It is good that it seems like he attended a school that was a good fit for his personality and style. That could help.

The rest of your hypothesis might hold merit.

 

[BaronOfHair]

From this experience, I lost my ability to fully trust most people

"We are wise to NOT trust ANYONE too much"- M.A. Jinnah. Be grateful to this girl: She enlightened you

 

[BPH]

"We are wise to NOT trust ANYONE too much"- M.A. Jinnah. Be grateful to this girl: She enlightened you

Which is exactly why I said, in a way, it helped.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yes if you are mentally weak and allow a single failure to define you.

Life is 10% about what happens to you and 90% about how you respond to it.

You can't move forward by looking in the rear view mirror constantly. Forget the past and forge the future you want.

 

[GoodMan32]

Yes if you are mentally weak and allow a single failure to define you.

Life is 10% about what happens to you and 90% about how you respond to it.

You can't move forward by looking in the rear view mirror constantly. Forget the past and forge the future you want.

In an attempt to move forward, I recently joined an app.

I've had maybe 5-10 pings (after a little more than a week on the app). I messaged everyone I pinged with. Only one replied (and even that one eventually stopped replying)

 

[BPH]

In an attempt to move forward, I recently joined an app.

I've had maybe 5-10 pings (after a little more than a week on the app). I messaged everyone I pinged with. Only one replied (and even that one eventually stopped replying)

Have you started going to the gym yet?

 

[GoodMan32]

Have you started going to the gym yet?

No I haven't.

 

[BPH]

No I haven't.

I don't understand how you intend to improve when you're incapable of doing the bare minimum because it doesn't align with the answers you want to hear...

 

[SW15]

Have you started going to the gym yet?

There's a reason for Rollo's "money, muscles, and game" quote.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No I haven't.

Half ass efforts get half ass results.

There is no excuse for not controlling the single biggest thing you have control of regardless of anything else ..your physical condition.

It speaks very loudly for you without you having to say a single word and yet you are not taking advantage of it at all.

And that is inexcusable.

 

[GoodMan32]

I don't understand how you intend to improve when you're incapable of doing the bare minimum because it doesn't align with the answers you want to hear...

The app I joined forcibly crops all the images you upload.

All my images on my profile are close-up headshots. It's impossible for anyone on the app to even see how much muscle I do or don't have (in other words, my size isn't what's holding me back on the app)

You know what though, let's take apps out of the equation for a minute. I got my last instance of free sex (4 years ago) from a woman I met organically in person (Err, semi-organically. She worked in the building where I live. It's unlikely we would have ever crossed paths in the wild). Anyway, she obviously knew my body type right off the bat, yet I still managed to get cooch from her. Since it's become clear I don't want to go to the gym, perhaps a more productive approach is to try to unlock the secret of how I could replicate a scenario like her again. She's proof that I can get free cooch without becoming muscular.

I'd rate her as an 8/10 by the way (which means I not only managed to get free cooch; I also managed to punch above my weight on the looks scale). Seeing as I'd be glad to dip as low as 5/10, surely there are ways for me to get free cooch as it is; I just need to find those ways.