A mature men in today world

[jhonny9546]

What is best for a man to live in today's world when the traditional life of starting a family, having a local social circle of friends, working locally, raising children in the local community, being part of local businesses, and living life with locals, no longer works as it used to because of the high failure rate of modern relationships, causes too much stimulation?

Having a lifestyle of moving every 3 years? Living in a place with a high cost of living? Having a job, even if it pays poorly, but living in a nightlife area?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

It depends on the individual. Get to know what you want out of life, what your skills and passions are and make decisions accordingly. Getting rid of the "tradition" mindset might be the first step for you OP since you live in such a tradition-heavy country.

 

[oOh Nasty]

What is best for a man to live in today's world

By following your goals and purpose in life.

when the traditional life of starting a family, having a local social circle of friends, working locally, raising children in the local community, being part of local businesses, and living life with locals, no longer works as it used to because of the high failure rate of modern relationships, causes too much stimulation?

Is this what you think it means to live a "full life?" I don't get your question. "Starting a family, having a local social circle of friends, blah blah blah" sounds like some blue-pill Disney version of what men think they want. Your question has a lot of outdated assumptions.

Men live by moving towards their purpose on a daily basis. That's it. Wherever that takes them is where it takes them. Everything else is fluff.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

By following your goals and purpose in life.



Is this what you think it means to live a "full life?" I don't get your question. "Starting a family, having a local social circle of friends, blah blah blah" sounds like some blue-pill Disney version of what men think they want. Your question has a lot of outdated assumptions.

Men live by moving towards their purpose on a daily basis. That's it. Wherever that takes them is where it takes them. Everything else is fluff.

OP is brainwashed by Catholic Culture lolz

 

[zekko]

OP is brainwashed by Catholic Culture lolz

Not a damn thing wrong with a man wanting a family. Those are the men who keep the world going, and that it is a perfect reasonable thing to want. It is a failure of our culture and society that families have fallen apart.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Not a damn thing wrong with a man wanting a family. Those are the men who keep the world going, and that it is a perfect reasonable thing to want. It is a failure of our culture and society that families have fallen apart.

Agreed if this is what you truly want after soul-searching. Not necessarily the case if you're simply following society's dictates.

Kevin Spacey's character in American Beauty is a good example of thinking this was what he wanted without properly examining it.

 

[oOh Nasty]

Not a damn thing wrong with a man wanting a family. Those are the men who keep the world going, and that it is a perfect reasonable thing to want. It is a failure of our culture and society that families have fallen apart.

It's completely 100% reasonable. But it's also reasonable to want a feminine wife who can bring a nurturing aspect to a newly created family. A wife who will put family and home first, and stay off of the quick dopamine releases of random dudes liking her photos on IG.

I may be wrong, **** I probably am, but I feel like men who have themselves together and are okay with being alone, are self-sufficient, and are leaders in whatever they are pursuing, have a higher chance of choosing the woman they decide to make a baby with. That, in my opinion, is a good way to battle against the current culture's failure on us.

 

[Travel memoir21]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to start a family. There's just too many complexities regarding it today especially if you're living in a country where the divorce laws are catered to the woman. I think one of the best solutions would be for men to learn how to work remote online, learn financial game and where to invest their money and move abroad to a traditional country more open to such values such as raising a family, having community and being one with the locals etc.

 

[zekko]

Agreed if this is what you truly want after soul-searching. Not necessarily the case if you're simply following society's dictates.
Kevin Spacey's character in American Beauty is a good example of thinking this was what he wanted without properly examining it.

Just to be clear, I don't have a family, I never wanted kids. If life was longer, maybe I could have fit it in. But I don't think there's anything wrong with guys wanting a family. It's just the culture and today's women that are screwed up. We need to value the family more, not less.

Anyway, regarding American Beauty: IIRC once Spacey had gone to the Great Beyond, he gained perspective and had actually learned to appreciate his wife and family. Good movie, by the way.

 

[jhonny9546]

Getting rid of the "tradition" mindset might be the first step for you OP since you live in such a tradition-heavy country.

I’ve always thought about this, and how it could also have a negative impact (like the desire to return to the origins, etc.).


So I think it’s more of an evolution rather than a "getting rid of."

Men live by moving towards their purpose on a daily basis. That's it. Wherever that takes them is where it takes them.

Yes, this is your pillar. Everything else comes later—that’s what I was talking about. It comes after, but it comes.

A wife who will put family and home first, and stay off of the quick dopamine releases of random dudes liking her photos on IG.

There are many like that here. But they’ll also do the second thing.


It’s really rare to find one feminine and pretty enough to satisfy both criteria.

I may be wrong, **** I probably am, but I feel like men who have themselves together and are okay with being alone, are self-sufficient, and are leaders in whatever they are pursuing, have a higher chance of choosing the woman they decide to make a baby with. That, in my opinion, is a good way to battle against the current culture's failure on us.

You’re not really wrong, but let’s always remember that a preselected man with social proof will be preferred over you. A single woman might prefer a divorced man with kids over a single man. You might have all your stuff together, but you’ll still be seen as the odd one.

I think one of the best solutions would be for men to learn how to work remote online, learn financial game and where to invest their money and move abroad to a traditional country more open to such values such as raising a family, having community and being one with the locals etc.

Or become a famous international artist. I could think about it... Too bad art isn’t a profitable market unless you “sell” your image and life.

there's anything wrong with guys wanting a family.

There’s nothing wrong if these guys understand whether they’re doing it because they truly want it or just because they see others doing it.