I had a flirt session the other day. Ran into her again today. What to make of her behavior?

[GoodMan32]

The Christmas rush is not a good time at all in malls. Shoppers are too focused on their holiday list to make good pickup targets. No one is in the mood for an extended conversation that might assess compatibility for a first date. The store employees in the malls are also too busy for an extended conversation that might assess compatibility for a first date.

January is a better time in the malls. There are fewer people. Mall customers in January would be more inclined to have a conversation. The same would go for mall employees on a weekday.

Most men don't have the lifestyle to go to the mall on a weekday to hit on store employees. It might be an option on a weekday evening for most men but weekday evenings can be busier for store employees. The best time to hit on store employees is midday on a weekday during the non-holiday rush.

Most venues are going to be below average for finding new prospects during the November 15-December 31 period. The holiday season is brutal for approaching strangers or for using swipe apps to schedule first dates. Private residence holiday parties are the best option during this time of the year for meeting someone who could be a first date option.

One benefit of the fact I used to work retail was that I'd get days off in the middle of the week (therefore, if I wasn't so shy, I theoretically could have shot my shot on retail employees in other shopping centers during their slow times)

Overall, the drawbacks of working retail (having to work evenings/weekends, difficult customers, as well as not even having a set schedule from week to week) outweighed the one perk I just mentioned.

 

[Solomon]

I just cannot relate to OP, I mean if he was in his teens or early 20s I would understand but this guy is 32 years old., 32 ****ing years old
OP you cooked bro

 

[GoodMan32]

I just cannot relate to OP, I mean if he was in his teens or early 20s I would understand but this guy is 32 years old., 32 ****ing years old
OP you cooked bro

Even worse: I'm thirty-three

After reading your post, it finally occurred to me why I'm this far behind for my age. At 23, I discovered a loophole for getting laid. As a result, I stopped developing at 23 (hence why I sound like I'm in my early 20s)

With how active I've been on the forum in recent months (combined with the baby steps I've been making lately), I think I'm finally finding the motivation to continue developing.

 

[SW15]

One benefit of the fact I used to work retail was that I'd get days off in the middle of the week (therefore, if I wasn't so shy, I theoretically could have shot my shot on retail employees in other shopping centers during their slow times)

Overall, the drawbacks of working retail (having to work evenings/weekends, difficult customers, as well as not even having a set schedule from week to week) outweighed the one perk I just mentioned.

Retail and service sector workers tend to date each other. There's a reason for that.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Caribbean Latinas are often mixed with African. I will say this much: She doesn't look like she has any African admixture.

Given that our species began in what's today Africa, we ALL carry admixture from said continent, hoss

 

[BaronOfHair]

With all due respect, a Starbucks employee who used to flirt with me circa 2017 is totally relevant on a thread about cafe flirting.

If you don't want to hear about a female Starbucks employee flirting with me, maybe don't read a thread about cafe flirting?

Point is that it's gainless to offer you any pointers, when you react by concocting excuses to not take them, rather than saying: "Much appreciated. I'll give it a whirl"

 

[BPH]

There's a cafe in my office building. On Monday, a female cafe employee did what could be viewed as a flirt session with me.

She talked about my hair an awful lot. She asked if I dyed my hair, she said my hair looks good, she said she likes my haircut, she said my hair looks good a 2nd time.

After the 2nd time she said my hair looks good, I said "You look good too."

She said "Thank you."

Then today, I ran into her for the first time since our flirt session. She was back to business as usual today. She only did the basic customer service stuff. No side comments or flirting. And no, it's not that there was a line today. I was the only customer in there.

What should I make of her behavior?

(To give you an idea of her looks, she's a busty Latina. I'd estimate she's early 20s. And even if she's older than early 20s, I'd say the odds are close to 100% she's below 30)

I'm not reading 6 pages of this.

Either:

A. She was flirting and interested, but lost interest when you didn't reciprocate enough for her to feel like you were interested in her too.

B. She's a service-industry worker and it's her job to be nice to customers so they come back and/or tip higher.

In either case, this is why I always advocate for being direct. Saves you a lot of time and guesswork.

 

[BadBoy89]

As for me, I've been told I look like the following celebrities:

• Sheldon from Big Bang Theory
• Steve Carrell's character on The 40 Year Old Virgin and The Office
• Jared Kushner

It's pretty alarming that the famous men I remind a woman of the most are some of the men with the least amount of sex appeal.

Sheldon made out with Penny.
Steve Carrell's character had a good looking woman wanting to sleep with him.
Jared Kushner is married to Ivanka Trump, she is hot.

They all have sex appeal.

 

[GoodMan32]

Given that our species began in what's today Africa, we ALL carry admixture from said continent, hoss

As ironic as this will sound (coming from me), you sound like a pedantic autist.

You know what I meant when I said the cafe girl doesn't look like she has any African admixture.

 

[GoodMan32]

Point is that it's gainless to offer you any pointers, when you react by concocting excuses to not take them, rather than saying: "Much appreciated. I'll give it a whirl"

I've made progress in the past few months.

 

[GoodMan32]

I'm not reading 6 pages of this.

Either:

A. She was flirting and interested, but lost interest when you didn't reciprocate enough for her to feel like you were interested in her too.

B. She's a service-industry worker and it's her job to be nice to customers so they come back and/or tip higher.

In either case, this is why I always advocate for being direct. Saves you a lot of time and guesswork.

Fair enough, I know not everyone has time to read entire threads.

Another poster (on a past post) indicated the possibility she felt I wasn't into her (because I apparently didn't reciprocate enough). I'm going to tell you essentially the same thing I told him: What a strange world we live in where telling a woman she looks good is somehow viewed as a soft rejection.

As for the idea that she simply wanted me to come back more often, while I totally acknowledge that might have been her motive in complimenting me, it backfired on her. Thanks to the lack of a flirt session the next time I went in, I'm going to go back less often than I otherwise would have.

 

[GoodMan32]

Sheldon made out with Penny.
Steve Carrell's character had a good looking woman wanting to sleep with him.
Jared Kushner is married to Ivanka Trump, she is hot.

They all have sex appeal.

With Sheldon and Steve Carrell, the more important question is: How likely is it that a woman in real life would find their characters sexually exciting? (Because I'm trying to pique the interest of a real woman; not a fictional female character)

Rip from Yellowstone is an example of a TV character many a female viewer finds sexually exciting. On the other hand, I've never heard a woman indicate they find Sheldon or Steve Carrell's characters sexually exciting.

Jared Kushner only got that hot wife because of his money. I've never heard a woman express that they find him sexually exciting (I've heard his appearance described as sterile, dull, and even that he looks like there's something wrong with him)

 

[BadBoy89]

With Sheldon and Steve Carrell, the more important question is: How likely is it that a woman in real life would find their characters sexually exciting? (Because I'm trying to pique the interest of a real woman; not a fictional female character)

You are the one who brought the fictional characters.

On the other hand, I've never heard a woman indicate they find Sheldon or Steve Carrell's characters sexually exciting.

You brought up the fictional characters.

They found them sexually exciting enough to make out with them.

Jared Kushner only got that hot wife because of his money.

You don't know that. That's an assumption.

I've never heard a woman express that they find him sexually exciting

You don't know that. That's an assumption.

(I've heard his appearance described as sterile, dull, and even that he looks like there's something wrong with him)

Strange how you always hear the negative things, but you never hear the good things.

 

[BPH]

What a strange world we live in where telling a woman she looks good is somehow viewed as a soft rejection.

She didn't think you rejected her. She DID think you didn't have the balls to ask her out.

There is a difference. You're placing the blame on HER, rather than the part of the interaction YOU were in control of.

 

[GoodMan32]

You are the one who brought the fictional characters.



You brought up the fictional characters.

They found them sexually exciting enough to make out with them.



You don't know that. That's an assumption.



You don't know that. That's an assumption.



Strange how you always hear the negative things, but you never hear the good things.

I brought up fictional characters in the context of real life individuals comparing me to said fictional characters.

In which case, the important thing is whether a real live woman finds said characters sexually exciting.

When a real live woman compares you to Sheldon or The 40 Year Old Virgin, she's pretty much saying "You have no sex appeal whatsoever."

Oh yeah, Alan from 2 and a Half Men is another TV character I've been compared to who's lacking in sex appeal.

As for why I've only heard the negatives a woman has said about Jared Kushner's appearance, that's because...drumroll...a woman has never indicated to me that she's attracted to Jared Kushner.

 

[GoodMan32]

She didn't think you rejected her. She DID think you didn't have the balls to ask her out.

There is a difference. You're placing the blame on HER, rather than the part of the interaction YOU were in control of.

As I explained on a past post (but I understand you said you don't have time to read the full thread), I've had the balls (pun intended) to get a full Brazilian wax once.

Other than getting kicked in the crotch, a full Brazilian is probably the most painful thing a man could experience down there.

The waxing technician said a lot of men quit as soon as she pulls the first strip of wax.

My point: My fear of getting rejected by a woman I'm going to cross paths with again doesn't make me cowardly. Every man is simply different in what he does or doesn't dare to do.

A lot of men who dare to possibly get rejected by a woman he's going to run into again wouldn't dare to get a full Brazilian.

 

[BPH]

My point: My fear of getting rejected by a woman I'm going to cross paths with again doesn't make me cowardly. Every man is simply different in what he does or doesn't dare to do.

You're the one who made a 7-page thread about it, not me.

By the way, you know you can quote multiple people in a single post, right? If you didn't respond to each comment with its own post these might be easier to read.

 

[GoodMan32]

You're the one who made a 7-page thread about it, not me.

By the way, you know you can quote multiple people in a single post, right? If you didn't respond to each comment with its own post these might be easier to read.

I'm aware I can quote multiple posters in a single post.

I generally don't (to avoid my post becoming too long). I will keep that in mind though.

And yeah, I made this thread about a girl I'm afraid to ask out (because of the possibility I might get rejected, and then have to cross paths with her). That doesn't mean I'm inviting others to call me a coward, however.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Then what does it mean?

I would assume, as would most reasonable people, that he's asking for constructive advice rather than AA-ism.

 

[GoodMan32]

Then what does it mean?

It means posters can discuss the topic without resorting to calling me (the man who dared to get his pubes removed in the most painful way possible, and has moved places where he knew no one more than once) a coward just because he's afraid of getting rejected by a woman he'll cross paths with again.