"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Spinning plates or dating multiple women is overrated advice

DJ Novice

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 8, 2023
Messages
238
Reaction score
345
Age
58
Spinning plates is fun…..until it isn’t.

Unless you have unlimited time, money, patience and energy the novelty will wear off eventually, especially if you are not getting much in return for your efforts or you don’t actually enjoy being around a woman from the s*x. Hedonic adaptation will mean what is new will become routine eventually.

While constantly chasing new bedroom experiences is a bottomless pit that will never be filled, I highly recommend it for guys out of a LTR or divorce for as long as you gain enjoyment from it (which in most cases will be time limited).

It helps build your confidence, creates an abundance mindset and helps you to understand female psychology and what aspects of women really are important to you apart from just the physical.

Sadly I have found not many women offer much value to your life beyond the bedroom and even in the bedroom department they may not be as compatible with you as you’d like them to be.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,359
Reaction score
3,322
Age
37
Location
London
I agree with you OP, it’s a shame it took me a while to realise but my latter 20s and early 30s were a complete selfish self serving waste of time.

I’ve been saying for a while now on here that racking up a high notch count and spinning plates is damaging for us men. It’s not irreversible damage, but you don’t get that time and energy back.
 

Chow Mein

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2024
Messages
390
Reaction score
273
I agree with you OP, it’s a shame it took me a while to realise but my latter 20s and early 30s were a complete selfish self serving waste of time.

I’ve been saying for a while now on here that racking up a high notch count and spinning plates is damaging for us men. It’s not irreversible damage, but you don’t get that time and energy back.
I think a lot of men should realize that a ‘plate’ is someone who will make your life easier. If they are affecting your ambition and lifestyle, they should not be in the rotation.
 

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2024
Messages
2,614
Reaction score
550
Location
Italy
“Spinning plates” has its benefits. I’ve found that whenever I get out of an LTR, I typically do nothing and reset for a couple of months right after. Then, I will go for about 6-12 months of “spinning plates” and seeing multiple women at once. It’s exhilarating and helps me reset my brain to stop focusing on the one I just lost.

I do agree with others it’s exhausting at the same time, especially when there’s so much going on in my life outside of women and dating. Seeing 2-3 women at once requires time and energy. I typically start to look to trim it down to one woman after about the one year mark. But it certainly is always a fun ride and recommend it to anyone coming out of an LTR. I can see why some guys would always perpetually do it as well.
So you have developed a coping system when you leave relationships, you can get back on track right away!
That's a great thing!
While constantly chasing new bedroom experiences is a bottomless pit that will never be filled, I highly recommend it for guys out of a LTR or divorce for as long as you gain enjoyment from it (which in most cases will be time limited).
What about "chasing new bedroom experiences" with your LTR?
Simple. Combine young hottie with deep loving emotional connection. Those girls get wifed up young boys. And typically don't come back on the market unless the husband dies or does something dumb, like cheat.
And How do you spot those, other than they get wifed up young boys?
 
Last edited:

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2024
Messages
2,614
Reaction score
550
Location
Italy
Simple. Combine young hottie with deep loving emotional connection. Those girls get wifed up young boys. And typically don't come back on the market unless the husband dies or does something dumb, like cheat.
And How do you spot those, other than they get wifed up young boys?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
5,416
Reaction score
7,942
Age
57
And How do you spot those, other than they get wifed up young boys?
Use your search cue and find the old thread How To Spot a Unicorn. Read through the first number of posts. That is the best answer I can give but I'd rather not retype it all.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
15,423
Reaction score
12,523
How To Spot a Unicorn
Here's the thread...


How to Spot a Unicorn was a thread started in 2016 and has remained active over time.
 
Top