"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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self esteem vs ego

jhonny9546

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SELF-ESTEEM:
- You are born with it, just like you are born with arms and legs.
- You possess it as a child until it is damaged; it can take years to rediscover and "re-member" the self-esteem you had as a child.
- It does not need to be fed; it is self-sustaining.

EGO:
- The ego is a rational construct that we devise as a substitute for self-esteem when the latter has been damaged to the point where it no longer provides security.
- Gaining status, making money, and attracting women—these things allow us to logically tell ourselves, “I am confident.”
- It differs from self-esteem because self-esteem is an INNATE ATTRIBUTE OF HUMANS, while ego is a PSYCHOLOGICAL CONSTRUCTION CREATED BY HUMANS.
- The ego is fueled by repeated attention, praise, and appropriate reactions, among other factors.



So when someone says, “That guy has way too much ego,” they are essentially saying, “That guy is learning, based on some logical construct, to give himself confidence because he is a wounded little boy who lacks self-esteem.”

In other words, a person with “too much ego” comes from a place of weakness, not strength.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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plumber

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Can you define self-esteem more? What is it, how does it work? If it is broken how to fix it?
 

BaronOfHair

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Those are two different words for things which are interchangeable. Starting in the latter half of The 70s though, it became heretical think of the ego in anything other than moralistic terms, thus the more wishy washy word "self-esteem" began getting circulated throughout The Anglosphere

The (ultimately diasterous)assumption here being "Ego always bad; Self-Esteem indisputably good". Whereas in all era prior, we recognized that the ego was akin to a surgeon's scalpel: Whether or not it benefits both the individual and civilization at large depends heavily upon the proficiency of whoever is wielding it
 
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