an even bigger problem than I realized

[GoodMan32]

Those of you who are familiar with my content might be aware of the fact I've long thought my biggest problem was the fact I have a hard time telling the difference between niceness and flirting.

At my latest therapy session, an example came up that illustrated an even bigger problem.

When I left my last job (back in 2019), a female coworker from the job I had just left started sending me flirtatious texts (at one point, she even admitted that what she was doing was flirting). So in that case, I knew her behavior was flirting; not mere niceness.

Yet I still didn't know how to escalate...mainly because I wasn't sure what the girl wanted me to do. Was I supposed to set up a date? Was I supposed to go straight to inviting her over for sex? Or perhaps the girl was simply looking for attention from a guy other than her boyfriend, yet didn't want to do anything with me (Yeah, she had a boyfriend. A boyfriend she wasn't happy with)

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It's simple, you offer to grab a drink sometime and if she agrees you ask what's her schedule like and then pick a day and set a time from the days she gives you.

 

[BaronOfHair]

At my latest therapy session, an example came up that illustrated an even bigger problem.

When I left my last job (back in 2019), a female coworker from the job I had just left started sending me flirtatious texts (at one point, she even admitted that what she was doing was flirting). So in that case, I knew her behavior was flirting; not mere niceness

How did this subject even arise in the context of psychotherapy?

 

[GoodMan32]

How did this subject even arise in the context of psychotherapy?

Even though my main problem we're doing therapy for is longevity (during sex), we're also covering all sorts of various relationship issues I have a hard time with.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Even though my main problem we're doing therapy for is longevity (during sex)...

Fantasizing about eating 60 year old while self-stimulating almost certainly isn't doing your ability to last any favors

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Yet I still didn't know how to escalate...

Incorrect. You were too afraid to escalate.

mainly because I wasn't sure what the girl wanted me to do.

You don't do what the girl wants you to do.

You do what you want to do, if you have the confidence to so do.

That's the game. A girl is giving you signals, or even if you're just interested, full speed ahead.

If it works, enjoy it. If it doesn't, find somebody else.