"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Do you think VD is surging in the older generations because chicks at that stage of life cannot get a man's attention without putting out liberally?

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Pierce Manhammer

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Interesting mentality your question presumes it’s women’s doing?
 

BaronOfHair

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Hurray for octogenarians and all points beyond if so. That so many folks are still frisky at the age indicates that our quality of life is pretty damned good
 

The Duke

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I was reading this, and it got me interested:
my opinion: Maybe being OVER is finally OVER at that age? :rolleyes:
I think the doctor that was quoted got it right when they said this:

People are just living longer and having sex for longer than they used to,” she said. “Men have benefited from erectile dysfunction drugs, and women have benefited from hormone therapies that are able to help them maintain a more pleasant sex life.”

The only thing I'd add to that is there are less people in marriages than ever before. That leads to more sexual partners which increases the chance of spreading STI's.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BaronOfHair

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I think the doctor that was quoted got it right when they said this:

People are just living longer and having sex for longer than they used to,” she said. “Men have benefited from erectile dysfunction drugs, and women have benefited from hormone therapies that are able to help them maintain a more pleasant sex life.”

The only thing I'd add to that is there are less people in marriages than ever before. That leads to more sexual partners which increases the chance of spreading STI's.
Senior citizens today are healthy and vibrant enough to partake in regular sexy time, unlike people in this age bracket as recently as The 90s, who mostlybspent their remaining years binging daytime TV. This is an improvement to be celebrated
 

Scaramouche

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Hi MDJ,
Thanks for your timely post....Very few older Women are into random Svex...Those that are can be pretty wild...On my Dancing scene,one Academic in her early Eighties,regularly leaves the Dance with some younger Guy,does her horizontal Tango in the back seat of her car,comes back half an hour later hair Tousled,clothing missarranged,straightens herself out in the Wash room,then goes home to hubby LOL.
 

Pandora

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Hi MDJ,
Thanks for your timely post....Very few older Women are into random Svex...Those that are can be pretty wild...On my Dancing scene,one Academic in her early Eighties,regularly leaves the Dance with some younger Guy,does her horizontal Tango in the back seat of her car,comes back half an hour later hair Tousled,clothing missarranged,straightens herself out in the Wash room,then goes home to hubby LOL.
Why is doing this. She should have some class about her. Maybe she was a hoe back in the day too? How does she look? Maybe her husband does not even care anymore. At 80 I cant imagine he would. He is probably tired of banging her and has a young thing on the side. Still though what is her dysfunction? lol.....
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Scaramouche

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Why is doing this. She should have some class about her. Maybe she was a hoe back in the day too? How does she look? Maybe her husband does not even care anymore. At 80 I cant imagine he would. He is probably tired of banging her and has a young thing on the side. Still though what is her dysfunction? lol.....
Hi Pandora,
You really do have strange ideas about Women,they may have lesser needs than us,but many still have yearnings say every fortnight...That does not make any of them a "Hoe"....Far from being "dysfunctional" this Lady would seem to be adopting a pragmatic approach to ensure a fulfilling life...Her Husband though compus mentus is ninety+ and has health problems.
 
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Pandora

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Hi MDJ,
You really do have strange ideas about Women,they may have lesser needs than us,but many still have yearnings say every fortnight...That does not make any of them a "Hoe"....Far from being "dysfunctional" this Lady would seem to be adopting a pragmatic approach to ensure a fulfilling life...Her Husband though compus mentus is ninety+ and has health problems.
Oh okay. The husband cant give her what she needs. The reason I am so judgemental is because I find it especially horrifying when wives cheat on their husband with random guys. Im like " noooooo!!! why?". Vicarious sadness.
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Pandora,
Sorry for confusing you and MDJ....Yeah,I get your take on this,but I am sure that she justifies her behaviour,on the basis that,marriage is a transactional arrangement in which she was short changed...Speaking for myself I would not condemn in her what I forgive in myself.
 
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