Boring Sex with your GF / How to make it work?

[Pierce Manhammer]

How do you turn an "otherwise sheltered woman" into a slut?

Well let’s define terms. For this discussion a slut simply means a woman that wants a lot of sex WITH YOU.

I’m not here to teach you how to be a great lover, but it involves much more than PIV. You need to be playful you need to explore things with an inexperienced woman slowly, you need to give her things sexually no one else ever has.

There is way too much to unpack here. But the key is to make a safe space for her to express her sexuality without repercussions. You can’t be an immature little pos when she tells you she dreams about something you don’t like.

Most of all you need to love women, their form, their scent, their everything. You have to have this ingrained in your psyche. You’re either born with it or not, I do not think most men here (based on previous discussions) would enjoy having a 4-5 hour sex session with their woman - many have said they’d find it boring. Many men can’t keep it up past one round, it runs the gamut of reasons.

You either love sex and women and long sessions (which chicks love) or ya don’t.

Anyway you need to develop your own progressions with women. Trial and error.

 

[pipeman84]

I personally compare sex with a prostitute to that of just masturbation but with a live body, it's not real and not at all the same thing as doing it with a woman that actually wants you.

100% agree, but the devil is hidden in the part I bolded. IMO, generally speaking, you can trust that a woman actually wants YOU if she's a virgin/very low notch count girl who hasn't been alpha widowed (some great insight in this thread ). Other than that, you're just a guy out of who knows how many she's been with who she uses right now. Look at it this way: you can't trust anything a hooker says (you're great, this and that ) because money is involved. But you're going to trust a 35-45yrs old woman from OLD (like @Pierce Manhammer does ) saying the same things? Doesn't it immediately strike you that at her age she's said it plenty before? And that it has no value, otherwise she wouldn't be with you, she'd be in a relationship already.

 

[Learning Curve]

To respond to OP.

this might sound a bit transactional but I’ve often found that treating your wife/GF nice gets you further. Women get that guys want a cool sec life.

What changed mine after 5 years ish was I just went a bit blue pill, got her some gifts, cooked for her, gave her a massage and told her she was Beatiful and I wanted us to be closer.

Obv don’t overdo it but women do dig this stuff. I also made a real effort to do foreplay and kiss her a lot….she became much more willing to spice it up.

I recently got a bonus - a biggie, and after I paid off all the things we needed to get and topped up my savings, I split the “fun” money left with her, and got her some nice underwear, some shoes etc. got her a coffee in the morning, little things. She finds it hard to say no to anything I ask when I’m being a good husband/provider to her. Good thing is she does work hard herself and she’ll generally buy me little things now and then….

The general advice of red pill is solid, especially at the start, but when in a relationship there is a real benefit to being a really good guy to her.
I just make sure I don’t let her boss me around, have clear boundaries, and be a hard ass if she’s out of line.

If I treat her good too long then she will shyt test me, so occasionally just not being there, going out with the lads and coming home smashed…treating her well DOES get you stuff from her you want, but you just still gotta be your own man. As far as I see it, treating well is kindness with no “I do this you do this” dynamic. It’s about her not being in CONTROL which is important. Be good to her just don’t let her push you around.

Kindness makes it easier for her to want to please you

Being strong and not a pushover makes her want to fk you.
That’s all I got to say

I agree in a sense of having a long-term lasting and healthy relationship.

Most of us will behave differently and act differently on many situations.

I believe that a healthy and lasting relationship should have mutual-respect and a good behaviour from both sites so i agree on most of the things you have said.

Of-course the relationship will also depend on what type of chick you have and if she is a slut, or a nice easy going chick with not much of problems or toxic traits like my ex.

What i found with my current GF is that she is as easy going as f3uck. What ever i say or choose happens. What ever place i choose to eat or go out or have an activity she is in she never complains or argues or changes places.

She is letting me lead in full control of this relationship.

Of-course having your sh1t together, money, health and looks helps quite-a-lot.

You remove competition.

 

[Gamisch]

To respond to OP.

this might sound a bit transactional but I’ve often found that treating your wife/GF nice gets you further. Women get that guys want a cool sec life.

What changed mine after 5 years ish was I just went a bit blue pill, got her some gifts, cooked for her, gave her a massage and told her she was Beatiful and I wanted us to be closer.

Obv don’t overdo it but women do dig this stuff. I also made a real effort to do foreplay and kiss her a lot….she became much more willing to spice it up.

I recently got a bonus - a biggie, and after I paid off all the things we needed to get and topped up my savings, I split the “fun” money left with her, and got her some nice underwear, some shoes etc. got her a coffee in the morning, little things. She finds it hard to say no to anything I ask when I’m being a good husband/provider to her. Good thing is she does work hard herself and she’ll generally buy me little things now and then….

The general advice of red pill is solid, especially at the start, but when in a relationship there is a real benefit to being a really good guy to her.
I just make sure I don’t let her boss me around, have clear boundaries, and be a hard ass if she’s out of line.

If I treat her good too long then she will shyt test me, so occasionally just not being there, going out with the lads and coming home smashed…treating her well DOES get you stuff from her you want, but you just still gotta be your own man. As far as I see it, treating well is kindness with no “I do this you do this” dynamic. It’s about her not being in CONTROL which is important. Be good to her just don’t let her push you around.

Kindness makes it easier for her to want to please you

Being strong and not a pushover makes her want to fk you.
That’s all I got to say

i agree. Ltr game is completely different from pua game. Ofcourse there's an overlap, like training mma and training boxing. There's a point where both the mma artist and the boxer train the same movement, but the outcome is completely different.

Its extremely difficult and depends on many factors. But I do feel this advice; try different things. Being a gentleman is a lost art due to the new dating environment.

Very true brother. It’s a really good point that this only applies to reasonably well adjusted women. Well, as well adjusted as any woman is, which is not very!

I dated a girl before her. I was rebounding so vulnerable. She was less hot by far than my wife, she had no decent job, lived with her parents, had a fairly serious auto-immune disease, had been around the block and had very little going for her . I by contrast had a good job, lots going for me.

she bailed after 2 dates, telling friends I wasn’t compatible etc.

she ended up with a guy who dressed like a gangster rapper, who lives in a trailer (rare in UK) and now keeps her under lock and key, she can’t see her friends. Me ans my wife now have a great lifestyle, kids, holidays and a very good life.

She chose that guy over me.

Now, this is where a lot of the deeply red pill stuff comes in. These types of girls are easy prey for a one night stand, and the red pill approach works VERY well on these girls. My wife would never sleep with a guy without a relationship, it’s kind of in her DNA . Sure, I expect if a movie star came along before me she would be different - naturally, she’s a woman, but what I have appeals to good women, not bad girls.

Game is all dependent on who’s playing the game.

what I got wrong for ages was trying to be a PUA when that’s not my frame. As soon as I presented myself for what I am - a professional, intelligent, witty and solid guy, the women who want this appeared.

Even before my wife, I had 6 months of flings. It’s not always the case that all women want a chad for flings, I had plenty, I had women want nothing but short term fun with me - and I am not a chad. Women have a type. Most will want a chad of course on some level, but a lot just want someone they can relate to. Some don’t like the superficial kind of guy, some like their men unpolished. We are the same. I don’t like that traditional playboy blonde much, I don’t like tall women. I neither like “thicc” women.

Bait the hook for the fish.

I swear a lot of the black pillers fail as they try to be a chad and fail. If they just were upfront about being a nerd, and had frame around it, they would get a woman.

It’s better to be a loser than a loser who pretends he’s a winner

Fruit, I only kinda disagree with your last sentence.

I think some men are WAY better off by faking it till they make it. It's painful to watch how some men remain losers and grow into this role. E.g: one homeboy is a nerd nerd. Type a dude who is completely invisible to women. Yet ,i told him several times that hitting the gym religiously will reform his life. You are already dry for years ,might as well say" 2025 imma be a different person ".

As stated before. If you are an Asian/arab dude with strong ties to the home culture you can get away with being a "loser" (in the pua sense), and still get hooked up through a social circle

 

[Gamisch]

ha! I remember being about 27, really good shape and after a night of drug abuse I just wanted a really long good BJ. hired a pretty hot escort.

After about 15 mins I could tell she was massively into it and she kept asking me to put it inside her and do things for her, I could tell by her wobbly voice she was definately out of the role of customer/provider and just plain turned on.

I’ve generally only done this with escorts when I was young and fit. Another thing I noticed at massage parlours that when you see the girls, if you’re in good shape and virile, when you choose the girl you see a little flush of pride with them.

And there are some that are ball breakers, have no interest in making it a good experience and just want you out the door.

the best one I ever had was an Italian woman on tour who was about 35, had huge teets and was up for anything you suggested. I paid her for hour and twenty and I was done in 30 mins. I tipped her because it was so good, and usually they just show you the door. She insisted I stayed for the full time, she was an absolute lady and spoke very intelligently and gave a massage and then took a point of personal pride in getting me to go again, when she proceeded to literally face bang my cawk with deep throat and was very insistent that I should come again as I had paid and treated her well.

I called them up many times asking for her, she was gone forever but I never forget that day, she loved her work and deserved the huge tip I gave her, which was probably a days wages.

Here we go. Even a MARRIED man can look back at his adventures paying for play and enjoy the memories.

The change of meeting a horny girl who loves money who will actually put out is higher than going out. While you chase the same thing.

If a man passed 30 is about getting ONS's, he'll do it. Most men WON'T EVER get a ONS ,especially passed age 30.

Again, it aint that deep. One hooker once told me that she was a sl00t anyway ,and now gets payed doing what she did anyway: fecking men.

Life is "unfair " isnt it fellas lol. Its almost CAP to assume that a hooker doesn't like/love her job and the benefits it brings her. And to be clear: a eastern European woman can take a bus,travel for a few hours and make a valuta that's worth 3/4 times more than home. 2 months of work and she could build a villa in her hometown.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

yeah man I saw an escort about 15 times. I was well paid and young and DJing so really not in the frame for relationship. Also I kind of dug the pay and leave dynamicShe was really hot, and I was young. She enjoyed the time with me. I really liked her.

I got talking once and was like - why do you do this? I knew her well enough to ask. I asked if she was in debt, had a sick relative, had a plan to go home (she wa Czech).

She straight up said she loves snowboarding. She only picked clients like me who she would probably date anyway and she could earn thousands. She never dealt with old men or shady guys just young horny men and she quite enjoyed making them happy and enjoyed sechs.

6 months of the year she just lived the life of an escort, men bought her gifts (I used to do coke with her a few times, she liked a party and wasn’t expensive) and the rest of the year she travelled and went to the slopes. I asked her if she saw herself having kids and a family and she said yes one day but this life would be left behind and she was so level headed I think she probably did get this. At the end of the day my wife knows nothing of my escort and drug days and I’m sure her HB doesn’t know of her past so what difference is it? She lives 2000 miles away and she will never see me or another client again.

I can’t understand this mentality in women. Sexhs is a personal thing to guys but to women it’s a tool and they are all like it to some extent.

She was cool AF and I hope she’s happy .

I think it was quite an eye opener actually getting somewhat friendly with an escort as you see they are just people. She was just kind of super liberal, not damaged, not erratic or a serious drug addict, she just had no hang ups selling sexhs and didn’t have the shame a lot of us have.

reminds me of a youtube comment from someone giving advice about escorts, he said "I saw an escort after a rough breakup and the girl was more attentive and made me feel more connected to her than my previous partner ever did. It was quite the revelation that someone I just met could make me more comfortable "

 

[Divorced w 3]

I have been in this situation with a few of my ex girlfriends where the SEX has been boring and nothing major was happening in bed unless of-course me as a man took a lead and asked what I wanted in the bedroom.

Asking for what you want some times works and some times it does not.

If a woman has rules and she just does specific things in the bedroom this is where a Man starts to realize that he will never have a full fire ignition in the bedroom and he starts to either cheat or move on to the next adventure due to unsatisfied sex. I know many cases this has happened.

What is your process with a woman that you have either a relationship or a sex playmate to ask her for what you want in bed?

Please share your thoughts.

You need to hit her right between the eyes and ask her straight up what’s the matter with you guys in your relationship, do not accept no for an answer and then work it out. Your sex life is a direct reflection of your personal relationship with your partner. You either have her mind captivated or you don’t. Take it from me, you could be really good in bed but if your long time partner is focusing her thoughts elsewhere or is utterly bitter, having sex with her will be few and far between and it will take a lot of coaxing.

You can try to fvck her into a nostalgic mood if you play it right but then you need to work on the non sexual aspects of whatever is happening and you need to get it right from the jump. It’s not going to be easy.

 

[MatureDJ]

I have been in this situation with a few of my ex girlfriends where the SEX has been boring and nothing major was happening in bed unless of-course me as a man took a lead and asked what I wanted in the bedroom.

Asking for what you want some times works and some times it does not.

If a woman has rules and she just does specific things in the bedroom this is where a Man starts to realize that he will never have a full fire ignition in the bedroom and he starts to either cheat or move on to the next adventure due to unsatisfied sex. I know many cases this has happened.

What is your process with a woman that you have either a relationship or a sex playmate to ask her for what you want in bed?

Please share your thoughts.

Sex is never boring for a man. All he needs is a pair of open legs - and a vajaya that it is not too stretched out - and he can take it from there. Her job is accept her man's seed.

 

[The Duke]

How do you turn an "otherwise sheltered woman" into a slut?

Send her to my house or @Pierce Manhammer 's

 

[Learning Curve]

Sex is never boring for a man. All he needs is a pair of open legs - and a vajaya that it is not too stretched out - and he can take it from there. Her job is accept her man's seed.

What do you mean "Sex is never boring for a man?"

I had boring encounters in my life with women who were a complete dead fish in bed. If you want just a pair of legs go find and escort is easier and she will do what ever you want.

Of-course it is.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I personally compare sex with a prostitute to that of just masturbation but with a live body, it's not real and not at all the same thing as doing it with a woman that actually wants you.

This is 100% true and the reason I wouldn’t engage in prostitution or escorting,

 

[Juanto]

This is 100% true and the reason I wouldn’t engage in prostitution or escorting,

my thoughts exactly, never have done it either.

 

[CornbreadFed]

my thoughts exactly, never have done it either.

I could not finish off of sex from that, but I know some two pump chumps that could.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

This is 100% true and the reason I wouldn’t engage in prostitution or escorting,

to each their own, tons of men would disagree and have had awesome experiences.

 

[Mertz09]

@Learning Curve - Please don't take it personally, but I've never had any sort of problem like this. I've had multiple medium and long term relationships so there has been plenty of opportunity for problems like this to creep up, yet its never happened.

So what are you doing or not doing? What part do you play that might be causing this?

I guarantee you here are the reasons I don't have these problems:

-I certainly never ask a woman for what I want in the bedroom, I simply tell her or direct her. Women like men to lead and when you do they submit easier and are happier to do so.
-I set the tone of what type of sex transpires(p0rn star, rough, loving, passionate, etc).
-I have my way with women. I position them how I want, and they love it.
-I push boundaries.
-I do every position in the Kama Sutra.
-Sex toys are fun.
-New locations: parking garages on the top level, hotel room windows, adult video store, in the woods, in public, parking lot.
-I set the expectation.
-I'm very adventurous, pretty much nothing is off limits.
-Her pleasure is as important as mine. I always make sure she is satisfied.
-I always have candles going in the bedroom.
-I let her know how her sexy body turns me on.
-If you think penetration and no ****oral stimulation makes you great, you need to expand your skill set.
-Sex always lasts longer than 30min. I can go 3hrs.
-Sometimes I'll beat that pu$$y up so bad that she'll be sore the next day and loving it.
-I call them my personal wh0re/kum slut whatever when I'm pulling her hair.

I've always looked at sex as I'm the one that runs the show. All I need is a willing participant to follow my lead. If I do a good job it falls into place and we are both very satisfied.

I agree . Do your homework Gentlemen.

 

[Divorced w 3]

We are going to shoot for every hour this Saturday while our eyes are open. I’ll keep you posted.

 

[Mertz09]

My hack for this, especially in the 40-50's range: DATE GYM BUNNIES.

They love their bodies and feel sexy because they're in good shape and understand attraction and the value of physicality. My current thang is Gen X and her body easily trumps that of 95% of 20 somethings and 99% of 30-somethings...and sex with her and those who have come before her is easily the best sex ever. A man also needs to understand the concept of reactive desire and your responsibility in maintaining the sexual vibe.

If you're out and about and your hands aren't on her body and hers on your's you're wrong.

If you want great sex select women with a strong submissive streak as well, you can draw the kumslut out of her if you are skilled.

My current thang is amazing, she texts me nonstop about sex, how shes sore, how such and such was so amazing last time, she goes home after a 4 hour session and texts and tell she shes swollen and horny - that has turned into her coming back in the wee hours many times for another round, it's easy if you have strong chemistry.

I think many people do not actually know what it's like to have that level of attraction for one another.

When you go out have sex in bathrooms, or semi-publically.

If youre at a bar go out to the car and have her blow you and ride you in the back seat.

If you're out for a hike in the wilderness pull her off the trail and bend her over for a quickie.

Have sex on the beach.

Care about her pleasure, ensure her orgasms.

You have to desire her, and if you cannot get it up to do these things you're not attracted enough even in your 50's.

So many of you are conflicted about this and do not understand the Madonna/Wh0re complex. You rip on women for their sexuality and want a girl thats pure as driven snow, but you then complain when shes not sexual enough. If you're skilled and wise you can turn an otherwise sheltered woman into your slut. There are things that can assure you have a good sex life, but there are no real shortcuts, you need to put the work in. Again it's easy if you have burning chemistry.

p.s. read @The Duke 's post its platinum.

I’ll say it again. “Do your Homework Gentlemen”

 

[inquisitor]

Modern women are not easy too put into this type of polarity

And not only must you put her there you must also actively keep her there

It's no shock many men suffer from dead bedroom

If it is not easy to put a woman in such a polarized state, then maybe one is looking at the wrong woman.

There are a lot of women who are desirable, AND are able to submit to you, but only once you are able to assert your identity and your needs every day, will it work long-term.

 

[inquisitor]

reminds me, plenty of guys i've spoken to, they have said that have had some more enjoyable/fun sex, with escorts or sex workers, providers, than they did with their ex-girlfriends/ex-wives.

It is more due to the novelty and associated excitement with the experience, than being "not the girlfriend/wife".

We enjoy new stuff, doesn't matter what the stuff is. It's not more enjoyable, just a breath of fresh air, that is frankly unnecessary when you're able to respect, support, and also dominate your woman anyway.

 

[inquisitor]

How do you turn an "otherwise sheltered woman" into a slut?

My current GF does not have any experience in the bedroom.

Sex is good, but not good enough for my taste. She is sexy as f1uck so I don't have any problems getting hard or enjoying sex most of the time.

I know that spicing things up and changing places, positions, and making it interesting will work.

The challenge is that she finds all this things funny or sarcastic. She does not take good s3x seriously.

I never had this encounter before. It's weird. If I ask for anal, she is a no-go but if we have sex and I finger her ass she does not complain.

I know that one thing and another are different but I never met a woman who I can suggest different sex stuff or weird things and she finds me weird and she laughs and does not take anything seriously. This shows immature behaviour from her side and zero experience.

I'm sure her EX boyfriends were horrible in bed. I can imagine from what she told me.

Following your logic,
1. She does not have experience.
2. You know more about sex than her.
3. The sex is not good enough.

Seems that she's not the issue here. Maybe she's just testing you. So what if these are funny or weird to her? You want better sex for the both of you, so assert that. Stop asking her - she doesn't know a damn thing.