What to do with friends

[Machine10033]

I am now 43.... as I age my group of friends has slowly dwindled. I feel like I am on a different path than my closest buddies. Since 2008 we have always taken trips together, golf trips, trips to see our favorite teams, guys trips to different cities and destinations. When I was younger these trips were exciting and we would all have fun pulling and hooking up. The majority of these guys are older than me 47-50 years old. They are all married and have been for over 20 years... I was the last one to get married and waited until I was 41.

My problem is I am actually dreading these trips for the last couple of years. It has almost become two separate vacations. They still go on these trips to pull girls..they jump from bar to bar and still it’s all about hooking up. I go... play golf, workout, hang at the beach... eat with them but no longer hang at bars and clubs with them. I wake up and they are usually scurrying around trying to get girls back to their condos before our tee times.... and honestly they are usually hideous.... fat... or old.

i am locked into one more trip with them but am renting the car at home and driving the 8 hours rather than flying with them. I am tempted to come up with some excuse to bail early and drive home and letting them know this is my last trip... what are your thoughts? Am I a stick In the mud for feeling like this ?

 

[LTG71]

Sounds like you have grown up and have a different set of morals. The trips sound like they were fun but now that you are married, going to the bars to pick up on random hoes is not your interest. You enjoy having fun with your buddies but the other aspects are no longer appealing. I have a single buddy who goes to places and texts, “dude, there’s tons of hot chics here blah blah blah…come over and have a drink.” You forgot I’m married bro? I’m not going to hook up with any of these hoes so why should I bother? You can have them all to yourself. To each his own I guess. Friend groups also change over time. I had a large friend group that did sports every weekend but other life responsibilities interfered and the group size dwindled. Everyone is still buddies but we don’t hang out like we used to. You just have different desires which is perfectly fine. Do whatever makes you happy.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I am now 43.... as I age my group of friends has slowly dwindled. I feel like I am on a different path than my closest buddies. Since 2008 we have always taken trips together, golf trips, trips to see our favorite teams, guys trips to different cities and destinations. When I was younger these trips were exciting and we would all have fun pulling and hooking up. The majority of these guys are older than me 47-50 years old. They are all married and have been for over 20 years... I was the last one to get married and waited until I was 41.

My problem is I am actually dreading these trips for the last couple of years. It has almost become two separate vacations. They still go on these trips to pull girls..they jump from bar to bar and still it’s all about hooking up. I go... play golf, workout, hang at the beach... eat with them but no longer hang at bars and clubs with them. I wake up and they are usually scurrying around trying to get girls back to their condos before our tee times.... and honestly they are usually hideous.... fat... or old.

i am locked into one more trip with them but am renting the car at home and driving the 8 hours rather than flying with them. I am tempted to come up with some excuse to bail early and drive home and letting them know this is my last trip... what are your thoughts? Am I a stick In the mud for feeling like this ?

People change, life changes and in many cases it doesn't align up with who you friends are or were as they change too and so do you and your priorities. It quite very normal that you may not have the same friends as you had the past.

Find and seek and find new friends that are more aligned with your current visions and goals of what you want to accomplish in the future. There is loads of "gentlemen clubs" or men's communities where high performance guys meet up and share ideas, business goals and hang out together. I know Rich Cooper for example runs one of these which you can check out here: https://www.entrepreneursincars.com/community/
Never been to it myself so I cannot say neither bad or good about it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I am now 43.... as I age my group of friends has slowly dwindled. I feel like I am on a different path than my closest buddies. Since 2008 we have always taken trips together, golf trips, trips to see our favorite teams, guys trips to different cities and destinations. When I was younger these trips were exciting and we would all have fun pulling and hooking up. The majority of these guys are older than me 47-50 years old. They are all married and have been for over 20 years... I was the last one to get married and waited until I was 41.

My problem is I am actually dreading these trips for the last couple of years. It has almost become two separate vacations. They still go on these trips to pull girls..they jump from bar to bar and still it’s all about hooking up. I go... play golf, workout, hang at the beach... eat with them but no longer hang at bars and clubs with them. I wake up and they are usually scurrying around trying to get girls back to their condos before our tee times.... and honestly they are usually hideous.... fat... or old.

i am locked into one more trip with them but am renting the car at home and driving the 8 hours rather than flying with them. I am tempted to come up with some excuse to bail early and drive home and letting them know this is my last trip... what are your thoughts? Am I a stick In the mud for feeling like this ?

And they are still pulling women? Land whales I am assuming?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I am now 43.... as I age my group of friends has slowly dwindled. I feel like I am on a different path than my closest buddies. Since 2008 we have always taken trips together, golf trips, trips to see our favorite teams, guys trips to different cities and destinations. When I was younger these trips were exciting and we would all have fun pulling and hooking up. The majority of these guys are older than me 47-50 years old. They are all married and have been for over 20 years... I was the last one to get married and waited until I was 41.

My problem is I am actually dreading these trips for the last couple of years. It has almost become two separate vacations. They still go on these trips to pull girls..they jump from bar to bar and still it’s all about hooking up. I go... play golf, workout, hang at the beach... eat with them but no longer hang at bars and clubs with them. I wake up and they are usually scurrying around trying to get girls back to their condos before our tee times.... and honestly they are usually hideous.... fat... or old.

i am locked into one more trip with them but am renting the car at home and driving the 8 hours rather than flying with them. I am tempted to come up with some excuse to bail early and drive home and letting them know this is my last trip... what are your thoughts? Am I a stick In the mud for feeling like this ?

People grow appart over time, its natural. If you dont lose buddies along the way, you are not growing as a person.

The older they get the less "friends" people usually have.

Over time some "friends" need to walk like a woman that outlived her welcome by your side.
Sometimes you find new ones which you can relate to you, but they are rare.

 

[Machine10033]

And they are still pulling women? Land whales I am assuming?

it’s whatever they can get...last year I woke up to pack the car up and drive home. The one guy had hooked up with a near 60 year old... and had to get her back before I left.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

it’s whatever they can get...last year I woke up to pack the car up and drive home. The one guy had hooked up with a near 60 year old... and had to get her back before I left.

Wow...that's brutal.

 

[Machine10033]

Wow...that's brutal.

lol the condo owner we rent from has a blink
camera on the porch... he actually joked when we rebooked that it looked like I wasn’t even part of the same trip... I would get in at 8-9.... up at 4... coffee, workout.. back to change for golf... they were stumbling in at 2-3 am.... with wildabeasts...

 

[Bokanovsky]

lol the condo owner we rent from has a blink
camera on the porch... he actually joked when we rebooked that it looked like I wasn’t even part of the same trip... I would get in at 8-9.... up at 4... coffee, workout.. back to change for golf... they were stumbling in at 2-3 am.... with wildabeasts...

Man this sounds so depressing. I can see why you are dreading those trips. Is there some reason why you feel obligated to go?