Ethical?

[Hamurabimbi]

I'm in a relationship. However, I get into situations with women on occasion. Such as last week at a bar. I walked in. She gave me 'the look' & smiled. I smiled back. We made mad eye contact. As soon as her friend went to the bathroom, she got up and approached me. This is not uncommon. I guess I invited it. But. As I'm in a relationship, and not willing (at least not with the two drinks I had) to cheat, it went nowhere. Obviously, I led her on. This has happened before. I feel bad. I'm sure she thinks; "He gave me IOI's but it didn't work out.' If I were free, I would have gone for her. It feels unethical. But it is still enjoyable. I know women do this crap. I've been the victim of it myself. When I was married, I'd simply raise my left hand. The girls would say 'Oh sorry," and that was it. (I flirt a lot at work. It helps bring in revenue. So, I don't feel bad about that. Probably what a barista must feel like.) I feel guilty. But, I don't want to give it up.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Why aren't you with your partner at the bar?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Nothing to feel guilty about. She was fine before she met you, she will be fine after no longer seeing you anymore.

This was a completely insignificant blip in the span of her life, one she likely will never think about again.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Why aren't you with your partner at the bar?

I like socializing out and about. Either with friends or solo. She doesn't. She's a homebody and I'm a "social butterfly' (per an ex-). I also get sent on solo business trips quite often and wind up at bars/clubs.

 

[corrector]

From what I've read here I don't see anything unethical. It is not unethical to have an inherently high SMV. That is who you are and how women are responding to you. Your gf also choose you because of your looks and probably approached you. If she did that, then she probably knows other women want you. Honestly, seems like a subtle brag here.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Nothing to feel guilty about. She was fine before she met you, she will be fine after no longer seeing you anymore.

This was a completely insignificant blip in the span of her life, one she likely will never think about again.

Yep. Probably forgot me already. When I was there 2 other guys hit on her. Though she rejected them.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

From what I've read here I don't see anything unethical. It is not unethical to have an inherently high SMV. That is who you are and how women are responding to you. Your gf also choose you because of your looks and probably approached you. If she did that, then she probably knows other women want you. Honestly, seems like a subtle brag here.

It's really not. It's been almost a week and I still feel kinda crappy about it. If the roles were reversed, I'd be bummed.

 

[corrector]

It's really not. It's been almost a week and I still feel kinda crappy about it. If the roles were reversed, I'd be bummed.

Maybe it might be unethnical for you then if its bothering you. Each person has their own boundaries and what affects their conscience. If you feel something is wrong, then try to be more reserved and less flirtatious so as not to lead anyone on again in the future.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Maybe it might be unethnical for you then if its bothering you. Each person has their own boundaries and what affects their conscience. If you feel something is wrong, then try to be more reserved and less flirtatious so as not to lead anyone on again in the future.

Yeah. If I had just paid attention to my drink, I'd have probably remembered the night as just chillin', listening to music and enjoying the vibes. Feeling pleased instead of guilty.

 

[NealIRC]

My question is, do women ever do this to you, in places other than a bar? Like on bus, bus/train station, grocery store, etc.?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

My question is, do women ever do this to you, in places other than a bar? Like on bus, bus/train station, grocery store, etc.?

Yes. Coffee shops, grocery stores, book store etc. but not on a bus. Don't get the idea this is a daily occurance. It happens once in a while.