Good ignitions for cold approach

[anonymous12345]

I cold approach in gym, cafés and street maybe 4-5 times per day. What I find tricky is finding lines that are useful for opening and that doesn’t dig holes.

First, you need to do a “selling job”, the first task is to simply get her to stop and get a conversation going, I’d say. Challenge is to do that in a non-costly manner. For instance, I think a compliment of her clothing is costly, because that establishes who’s valuable to who. On the other hand, a neg, banter or C&F can easily back fire that early and would appear uncalibrated. So I lean towards a compliment, initially. “Hey, that jacket matches your boots” or whatever.

Other alternatives are more neutral initial lines. The weather, street, a shop next by, what she’s working on that day in the gym, etc. One could say it’s boring, but if I imagine the words said by a man that the girl’s find attractive, I find the lines perfectly fine. It’s not rocket science. Roosh V argues the elderly opener.

Still, I’m looking for lines/attitude that is laid back, assured and goes in the direction of C&F, for initial cold approach. Ideas?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Cold approach has a very very high burn & churn rate , it is usually 100x more rewarding than OLD or online interactions but people in 2023 are so politically correct and socially aware it's very very difficult to actually make a cold approach look remotely organic

You're right its a sales pitch but you say one word that indicates your trying too hard and she will sw1tch off really quickly

The best people ive known at cold approach have usually been pretty dumb/ slow .....I.E they don't think too much they just say something sometimes anything to break the ice and it works because it doesn't sound like it has an ulterior motive

I remember being on holiday with this guy once a few years ago and his openers were beyond stupid but they worked because he wasn't trying, girls felt relaxed

There is nothing worse than someone approaching you and either interrogating or hard selling you ....remember that

The key is making something thats supposed to be awkward into something quite natural .....

 

[MtmVaott]

"Hi, I know it's gonna sound strange and I don't have much time but I saw you and I had to come and meet you, my name is Mikedee"

simple as that.

"If you know it's strange why did you approach me and do it anyway? Do you have no respect for me? Are you a creep? And if you don't have much time, why don't you go about your business or take your time if you really like me that much?"

You won't hear it directly like that. But that's what they think, and it's true.

 

[MtmVaott]

I cold approach in gym, cafés and street maybe 4-5 times per day. What I find tricky is finding lines that are useful for opening and that doesn’t dig holes.

First, you need to do a “selling job”, the first task is to simply get her to stop and get a conversation going, I’d say. Challenge is to do that in a non-costly manner. For instance, I think a compliment of her clothing is costly, because that establishes who’s valuable to who. On the other hand, a neg, banter or C&F can easily back fire that early and would appear uncalibrated. So I lean towards a compliment, initially. “Hey, that jacket matches your boots” or whatever.

Other alternatives are more neutral initial lines. The weather, street, a shop next by, what she’s working on that day in the gym, etc. One could say it’s boring, but if I imagine the words said by a man that the girl’s find attractive, I find the lines perfectly fine. It’s not rocket science. Roosh V argues the elderly opener.

Still, I’m looking for lines/attitude that is laid back, assured and goes in the direction of C&F, for initial cold approach. Ideas?

You're too much in your head. I don't think you're doing yourself a favor if you approach with a reason-based strategy.
Instead try to connect with everybody around you. Numbers might pay off as a side effect.

 

[MtmVaott]

Strange from her point of view, not mine. They usually get curious and they listen to you trust me. If you're calm and relaxed, strong eye contact, fun vibe. It almost always works, unless she has a boyfriend.

"Strange" doesn't mean bad or inappropriate, in this case it means that it's a bit unusual for her to be approached like this, it shows social intelligence, it shows that you understand that she can feel uncomfortable and if it happens you won't stick around, same thing for the time constraint, it makes them drop their guard.

I've been using this for years and I've never had any problem and by the quality of girls I've dated I can tell you, it works. It's probably the best approach. Don't forget to add "Sorry may I interrupt you for a second?", it's more polite.

It would be strange for me. Probably that's why I'm so much against this kind of approach. And it wouldn't work for me, since I wouln't be comfortable with it.
Probably it doesn't really matter what you say if you are just in a positive mood and the women feels like she will have a good time with you. Then she doesn't care. But she will reevaluate the situation sooner or later and that's where she might ask herself the questions.
Though I agree this approach is dope if you are OK with it and you will get a lot of sex out of it.
I might try the kind of approaches by BingoPlayers vacation acquaintance though hahaha
Edit: I seriously think this vacation guy's approach is good. You communicate you're aware it would be creepy if you would hit her up with a PU line, and that difference between literal meaning and the meaning by how you say it is the essence of flirting.

 

[anonymous12345]

An approach can easily be a nail in the coffin since one is friendly, interested, asking for something, polite. Basically everything a man don’t want to be in large amounts, but is a necessity because we want to achieve something. One walks into a friend zone. This is an advantage of social circle, one just are in the environment and the social proof and DHV happens indirectly, then SHE is activated by herself and SHE does the chasing.

So the cold approacher has the unfortunate necessity of a self-made uphill battle, and our challenge is to reverse that damage afterwards and set the relationship straight. Like what Robert Greene writes, make her think she’s the one seducing. A challenge to change one's first impression.

 

[MtmVaott]

An approach can easily be a nail in the coffin since one is friendly, interested, asking for something, polite. Basically everything a man don’t want to be in large amounts, but is a necessity because we want to achieve something. This is an advantage of social circle, one just are in the environment and the social proof and DHV happens indirectly, then SHE is activated by herself and SHE does the chasing.

So the cold approacher has the unfortunate necessity of a self-made uphill battle, and our challenge is to reverse that damage afterwards and set the relationship straight. Like what Robert Greene writes, make her think she’s the one seducing. A challenge to change one's first impression.

I was convinced cold approach is always disrespectful to oneself. But it may be done in a fashion that preserves dignity. Key is to not take it serious, and to be connected to your surrounding. If the girl is walking by fast, it is very hard to not disgrace yourself. If she looks grumpy or b1tchy, you are welcome to take it at face value. If you approach in 'beggar-style' (credit to @pipeman84 ) you have that uphill battle, if you say one thing and with tonality another, you are flirting.

 

[pipeman84]

I was convinced cold approach is always disrespectful to oneself. But it may be done in a fashion that preserves dignity. Key is to not take it serious, and to be connected to your surrounding. If the girl is walking by fast, it is very hard to not disgrace yourself. If she looks grumpy or b1tchy, you are welcome to take it at face value. If you approach in 'beggar-style' (credit to @pipeman84 ) you have that uphill battle, if you say one thing and with tonality another, you are flirting.

hey @MtmVaott you're provoking me to another of my usual rants against cold approaching (and I have to also give credit to @Atom Smasher whose posts helped me in verbalizing my position).

We can argue this line is more ridiculous than that other line, but in the end it's the energy that counts, and that energy is that of a beggar...there's no way around it. That's undeniable on street approach, in the gym it may be different, if it's actually warm approach. This forum is supposed to be about men's development in general and their relationship to women in particular ... if we're debating which line to use to cold approach girls on the street when we're closing on 40 yrs old like OP is, then what better example of mission's utter failure than this?

 

[The Duke]

In environments that have a fun vibe(concerts/bars/sports games) I liked to use the

"hey you look like trouble, whats your name?

IF they smiled they were usually receptive and played along. They will want to know why they looked like trouble so have something funny thought out beforehand.

I used to introduce myself as Captain Fun Times of the USS Fun Ship. Always a great ice breaker. Then I'd say I was looking for a new deck hand/silverware shiner/bottle washer/horn blower, etc. Whatever fit the moment.

Laughter is the best way to disarm strangers. Use it to improve your results.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

It’s over for NonElectronicIgnitionCels

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I cold approach in gym, cafés and street maybe 4-5 times per day. What I find tricky is finding lines that are useful for opening and that doesn’t dig holes.

First, you need to do a “selling job”, the first task is to simply get her to stop and get a conversation going, I’d say. Challenge is to do that in a non-costly manner. For instance, I think a compliment of her clothing is costly, because that establishes who’s valuable to who. On the other hand, a neg, banter or C&F can easily back fire that early and would appear uncalibrated. So I lean towards a compliment, initially. “Hey, that jacket matches your boots” or whatever.

Other alternatives are more neutral initial lines. The weather, street, a shop next by, what she’s working on that day in the gym, etc. One could say it’s boring, but if I imagine the words said by a man that the girl’s find attractive, I find the lines perfectly fine. It’s not rocket science. Roosh V argues the elderly opener.

Still, I’m looking for lines/attitude that is laid back, assured and goes in the direction of C&F, for initial cold approach. Ideas?

How about an Elderly opener to test for interest, and then a C&F hook after she engages? Less risk of backfire.