Should I completely cut this "mutual" friend out of my life?

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I guess I don't interpret what we all said, myself included, as "butt hurt toxic red pill mode." I have nothing to gain by OP experiencing pain in his relationship. Nor do I relish anyone having a bad experience in a relationship just because I have in the past. People here are free to disagree with me. I haven't made a post in awhile, but when I have, I always expect the guys here to shoot straight with me. And I have been naive myself in the past and been put on the right path by the advice I get here by some of the older guys. It wasn't always something I wanted to hear but was something I needed to hear. This is no different and OP needs to be cognizant of this.

You and others can say that this is "jaded" but really you will set yourself up for failure by buying in 100% to any relationship. Always be vigilant.

It sounds like you are making an absolute statement. A man can get completely blindsided by some girl at one point, but toughening up and taking accountability for the things you did screw up is part of growing out of it. The guys that did this are either married or in long term relationships right now. The guys that continued to be jaded by the actions of one girl, continued to rinse and repeat the same type of failed relationships. How can you expect a relationship to succeed when you go in always assuming your girl is cheating or looking to cheat on you and plotting to fvck you over. It's insane to think this lol.

 

[Sgthaytham]

It sounds like you are making an absolute statement. A man can get completely blindsided by some girl at one point, but toughening up and taking accountability for the things you did screw up is part of growing out of it. The guys that did this are either married or in long term relationships right now. The guys that continued to be jaded by the actions of one girl, continued to rinse and repeat the same type of failed relationships. How can you expect a relationship to succeed when you go in always assuming your girl is cheating or looking to cheat on you and plotting to fvck you over. It's insane to think this lol.

Once again, you're spot on.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

As you know I am not a fan of Andrew Tate, but this is one of the things I completely agree with him, you must protect your women, and have them be respected at all costs. No man will disrespect my woman, period.

 

[Gamisch]

I dont understand a few things OP. First thing that isn't clear is what's the role of this guy? Is he your friend? Or your gf's friend? How did this group came together? He seems to have an important role.

And yeah, I agree with 80% of the advice you got. The lesson ,or someting like that you get that you should never fully trust a woman, is a bonus. People get all hostile because some posters might recognize this scenario and warn you, but you'd be a fool to not at least consider their advice for 5%. (C'mon @Jake_Gyllenhaal69 ,if this happens twice to your gf, by the same guy close to you..how would you respond? I am really curious? ) If my gf told me this happened TWICE , I would be frowning at least. Just like I would when a friend would tell me he got in a fight twice that day..)In my circle his actions could be a serious problem.

But oke, if you believe your gf is trustworthy, I'll take your word on it. That's imo not the issue.

Back to the guy. I also wonder how it's possible that multiple women said he made them uncomfortable but yet nobody did anything about it. Seriously . My first thought was just kick him TF out of the group. If he's a close friend just ask him to back off. It obviously and understandably bothers you. What's gonna be your next move from here on OP?

.

 

[Sgthaytham]

You are being cucked buddy. The slapping and the confession is all BS.
Its the language they speak.
Go a head put your act on like your not insanely jealous right now. This girl getting ready to do something else lol
Better tighten your belt

Anyone who uses the word "cuck" unironically is a ****.

 

[Sgthaytham]

You know what, bar some people on this thread, the rest of you are ****ing clueless. I'm done with this site. Bye.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

You know what, bar some people on this thread, the rest of you are ****ing clueless. I'm done with this site. Bye.

Come back bro. There are a lot of Toxic people here but dont let them get to you. There are some very good posters.

 

[Macadellic]

You know what, bar some people on this thread, the rest of you are ****ing clueless. I'm done with this site. Bye.

lol OP cuts off SoSuave brothers but keeps his girlfriend with all the hands on touchy feely booty slapping guy friends

 

[Gamisch]

lol OP cuts off SoSuave brothers but keeps his girlfriend with all the hands on touchy feely booty slapping guy friends

Unfortunately Op is all emotional and refuses to answer questions about the guy. Its impossible to give suited advice without exactly knowing what's so special about this guy that he can't be held accountable for his actions. Everyone in that group gives this guy a pass, or perhaps OP just knows the guy will feck him up. That would make it even worse.

Seems like this " friend " is an important person to him (or HER!!), but that's pure assumption and speculations. We will never know because OP will leave this forum, we can only geuss.

I don't know, plenty of great advice and possible POV's been giving. OP seems to have a temper so perhaps he'll simply brings gloves and confronts the guy. This never happened to me. Pick your friends wisely...

 

[Macadellic]

Pick your friends wisely...

And pick the girl to be your girlfriend wiser

Yet here we are with OP that has a girlfriend that goes out drinking with all the guy friends she has and is going to have

Lastly,
All the other guys know OP won’t do anything now that this guy got away with it. It’s open field season to touch this gal right in front of OP

 

[Divorced w 3]

The guy is a good canary in your coal mine about your relationship. If there’s nothing to worry about, then great. If there is, he largely brought it to your attention.

I’m only guessing, but something in your gut told you to ask for help understanding this situation. When issues are going well, most people don’t get so reflective. They don’t want to waste the time and they take it as it is.

One-itis is truly the worst.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Last post from me on this thread.

Promises, promises. Lol just messing with you

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Eventually they took it outside and three men beat the crap out of my 6'2" 190 pound boyfriend.

Did You feel guilty. I know It was nit your fault but still, did You feel guilty at the time?

 

[Billtx49]

Anyway @Dr.Suave yeah my boyfriend's anger scared me and when they took it outside and I witnessed him being beat up, I nearly had a breakdown, it was extremely upsetting to say the least.

Yes, a male that has a possessive line of thinking about a close female can escalate thru a jealous rage and that can become a dangerous situation …

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I find it hard to believe no man would want to know about it asap...

A guy, who has had multiple run-ins with other women who have claimed he has touched them inappropriately and/or made unwanted remarks, slaps my GF on her ass, and she comes to me to tell me... and I'm supposed to wonder if my GF is being sincere or not? Question whether I can even trust what she says??

What do you personally think happened, then?

You think she made some flirty remarks, he thought it was a green light, and proceeded to slap her arse?

What situation can you possibly imagine that could possibly mean I should be looking into my GF and finding out the "real" series of events?

All I would have asked is "Did he leave a handprint?" and if she said No then I would have responded "Guess I know why your with me now..." with a smirk and a laugh.

 

[Bokanovsky]

As you know I am not a fan of Andrew Tate, but this is one of the things I completely agree with him, you must protect your women, and have them be respected at all costs. No man will disrespect my woman, period.

It’s funny how people in this thread have divided themselves into two camps: “protect your women at all costs!!” vs. “she’s a wh0re and was asking for it!!”
So predictable.

There is so much missing context here. The fact that the OP is an unreliable narrator doesn’t help.

 

[Bokanovsky]

We were both drinking, he's a friend, I probably would have viewed it as flirty playful

Exhibit A on the subject of why you should never allow your girlfriend to have male friends

 

[Billtx49]

it's essentially hearsay, the OP was not even there to witness it.

I agree, but he seems to be exhibiting an anger level similar to if he actually saw it …

 

[Barrister]

Yup...

Interesting.

You said nothing wrong. You are spot on.
OP has some things that need sorted out with his frame. He admitted as much.
Leave him be to his narrative. He falls into the bucket of "moving the goal posts to fit the story"

He posted a situation and doesnt like the answers. It is typical.
Thats part of the anger phase that he is squarely in.

Pulling the guy to the side is the worst possible thing to do. Why?
Because doing so will feed the GF sexual tension with the slap in the azz guy.
And it is there. But ya know OP is asking for advice while heading on down to the chapel cuz he gotta a good girl who tells him everything. Like a besty lol

This is one thing that always amazes me about this place. A poster comes on, asks for advice, and when he doesn't hear what he wants to, instantly becomes hyper-defensive and wants to tell a 100% neutral person that has nothing to gain from the situation how wrong they are. As the wise Jules once said, if our answers scare you, then don't ask scary questions.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You are like every guy that thinks like this.
You go right to the extremes. Have you ever heard of subcommunication?
You are the guy that drops his radar at the wrong times.
Thing 007. Its covert. Its fight club.
Its the way.
When your frame is intune you see right into the future of the outcome of OPs situation.
We all read your posts Jake.
Your take is 100% wrong but tgen again you cant know that were your at. Need more experience

And yeah, I agree with 80% of the advice you got. The lesson ,or someting like that you get that you should never fully trust a woman, is a bonus. People get all hostile because some posters might recognize this scenario and warn you, but you'd be a fool to not at least consider their advice for 5%. (C'mon @Jake_Gyllenhaal69 ,if this happens twice to your gf, by the same guy close to you..how would you respond? I am really curious? ) If my gf told me this happened TWICE , I would be frowning at least. Just like I would when a friend would tell me he got in a fight twice that day..)In my circle his actions could be a serious problem.

I feel like people just read one part of my posts and ignore the rest. I have stated that OP is screwed in this situation because of his circumstances with his social circle and OP has even disagreed with me on that point. This is OP's GF, not some plate or girl he is trying to game. When your GF that you are on good terms with tells you that your friend slapped her arse, you go and confront the friend, not put your GF under an intense cross examination because Hannah from Freshman Year HS cheated on you and broke your precious heart. There's nothing on OP's post other than bringing her around his social group (normal to most people) that tells me to question her motives.

I made a breakup topic similar to OP's situation in where my ex claimed she got sexually assaulted. I did not believe her because our relationship was on thin ice at the time and her actions did not reflect someone that had just been sexually assaulted. So yes, I do have experience in this department, and I do have the ability to make a reflective decision rather than an absolute judgement based on vindictiveness and trauma.