"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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American tipping culture: please explain it to me

Gamisch

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How do yall deal with the tipping culture? This comment really blows my mind away.

20221211_063518.jpg


Apparently a waiter makes 5 bucks and then depends on tips from customers. How come the employers gets away with this? Now I understand that it can be lucrative AF for all parties involved. The employer gets cheap labor( 50 bucks a day for example). On a good day the waiter makes more then a minimum wage could offer.

- so I either give a tip , or apparently can EXPECT personnel to spit in my food???
- if I do tip I get " above and beyond " service. Shouldn't that be the norm?
-doesnt the employer simply demand good service for in the sake of the company's name( and guarantee retention) ?
- again,so the employer just doesnt give a F ,that his personell chases away non tipping costumers and thus decreases his income?
-so if I am on a tight budget I and dont tip I will soon be unable to have a stress free meal?
-And finally so being a WOMAN will be more lucrative than being a man doing such a job.

Man, if I find out someone spit in my food because I only wanna pay what's on the bill, I would seriously consider going to jail for that. That's unheard of.

How do yall deal with this non sense? Isnt this something political that needs to be fixed from higher up?
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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sangheilios

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This depends on what state you live in, minimum wage laws vary tremendously.

The federal minimum wage for tipped employees is $2.13, which is absolutely ridiculous, but there are several states that have this. That's basically free labor on the restaurant's part. Not all states are like this though, I live in AZ and it's $9.80. If you can get a serving job at a good place though you can make serious cash though, perfect job for a student or someone looking for extra money on the side.
 

jimwho

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(In regards to sht service, spitting) Don't you tip after the meal is consumed, how would a woke 25% tip dork server know how much you plan on tipping? I pay tips in cash directly to the server so the owner doesn't steal it, and 10-15%.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Minimum wage in California is $15.50/hr
 

Gamisch

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(In regards to sht service, spitting) Don't you tip after the meal is consumed, how would a woke 25% tip dork server know how much you plan on tipping? I pay tips in cash directly to the server so the owner doesn't steal it, and 10-15%.
Do you suspect something like this ever happened to you? Or do have stories where the behaviour from the waiters changed?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Bible_Belt

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If you order a drink at a bar, throw the bartender a buck. If you eat at a sit down restaurant, 20% is standard if the service is adequate. If you order a pizza, tip the pizza guy 3 to 5 bucks. If you don't want to tip, then don't purchase these services.
 

Gamisch

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If you order a drink at a bar, throw the bartender a buck. If you eat at a sit down restaurant, 20% is standard if the service is adequate. If you order a pizza, tip the pizza guy 3 to 5 bucks. If you don't want to tip, then don't purchase these services.

I've seen this stance in many comments regarding this topic so I cant blame you for your view on this. It seems like something the whole society agrees with , so it's a cultural thing. I just wonder why people never mention the employer.

A buck per drink?? That's crazy. 20%?? Shouldnt you get DISCOUNTS when you purchase more? Isnt there like a middle ground? What if I want these services but I dont want to spend , or have the money to tip?

Shouldn't a tip be a compliment for outstanding service and voluntary? And what's outstanding service? A smile and a few questions if I like it my food? Is the opposite of this a angry waiter with bad manners lol?

I am just curious y,all ,dont be offended. As they say , different culture, hard to judge...
 

Bible_Belt

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I've seen this stance in many comments regarding this topic so I cant blame you for your view on this. It seems like something the whole society agrees with , so it's a cultural thing. I just wonder why people never mention the employer.

A buck per drink?? That's crazy. 20%?? Shouldnt you get DISCOUNTS when you purchase more? Isnt there like a middle ground? What if I want these services but I dont want to spend , or have the money to tip?

Shouldn't a tip be a compliment for outstanding service and voluntary? And what's outstanding service? A smile and a few questions if I like it my food? Is the opposite of this a angry waiter with bad manners lol?

I am just curious y,all ,dont be offended. As they say , different culture, hard to judge...
If a bar isn't busy, it's not a huge deal to not tip with every single drink. If it is busy, then you get faster service.

There's a right way to do everything, even jobs that look simple. Waiting tables and doing a good job of it is not something even an intelligent person is going master right away. It's a skill, and the tips compensate the people who are better at their jobs. Tipping is actually more fair in that sense. Everyone shouldn't make the same money if some workers perform much better than others.
 

Gamisch

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By the way I love to tip for good service. Places I visit regularly I will almost always leave a tip. If something is 4,30 I'll trow a 5 and leave it like that. If the drinks cost me 12, 50 I might trow 15.

It's just hard to understand how employers can pay you 2,50 a hour while at the same time you read that rent for 1 bedroom apartment is more than a thousand. I geuss for you guys this is completely normal. In Europe there would be a law forcing employers to pay a normal wage.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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M

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If you're taking a chick out, tip well. Many women worked in the service industry starting out, an extra few bucks goes a LONG way.
 

Gamisch

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If you're taking a chick out, tip well. Many women worked in the service industry starting out, an extra few bucks goes a LONG way.
Haha I was just thinking about how tipping might effect women. I was thinking more about the specific date with a woman, and that she might look at how does the man she is with tips . I can also imagine tipping can create some sort of bond if you are a regular, what might also benefit you when you take a woman on a date.
 

HaleyBaron

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I hate tipping. It's an obligation of service. I would be more willing to do it if there wasn't this stuck up culture of entitlement to needing it. What's more, I hate having it hung over my head that I can get a "bad rap" for not tipping well. Or that I'm conservative with my money, which I know a lot of bars hate. The fact they treat customers who tip more as kings and everyone else as **** further pushes the issue toward frustrating. In the end, you chose to work in those positions cause of the risk of making more money through a good night and ****ty money otherwise.
 

lost_blackbird

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I used to drive a bus back in the 90's. In Central London, the worst traffic the country has
to offer, all manner of nutcases getting on the bus, terrible drivers and suicidal pedestrians
everywhere. My wage was £215 for a 40 hour week. I used to get hundreds and hundreds
of people safely to work or school or to the shops and home again every day of the week.
If each one had tipped me just 5p I'd have made far more money in tips than I got paid to work
alternating shifts navigating an 11 tonne bus through all that madness with all the responsibility
that came with it. I was lucky if I got a thank you or even an acknowledgement that I was a
human being.
 

BackInTheGame78

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How do yall deal with the tipping culture? This comment really blows my mind away.

View attachment 9326


Apparently a waiter makes 5 bucks and then depends on tips from customers. How come the employers gets away with this? Now I understand that it can be lucrative AF for all parties involved. The employer gets cheap labor( 50 bucks a day for example). On a good day the waiter makes more then a minimum wage could offer.

- so I either give a tip , or apparently can EXPECT personnel to spit in my food???
- if I do tip I get " above and beyond " service. Shouldn't that be the norm?
-doesnt the employer simply demand good service for in the sake of the company's name( and guarantee retention) ?
- again,so the employer just doesnt give a F ,that his personell chases away non tipping costumers and thus decreases his income?
-so if I am on a tight budget I and dont tip I will soon be unable to have a stress free meal?
-And finally so being a WOMAN will be more lucrative than being a man doing such a job.

Man, if I find out someone spit in my food because I only wanna pay what's on the bill, I would seriously consider going to jail for that. That's unheard of.

How do yall deal with this non sense? Isnt this something political that needs to be fixed from higher up?
Nobody could spit in your food because you pay the bill and tip after you are done eating.

Yes...there are certain professions that are allowed to be paid less due to being tipped.

However, many restaurants now pay their wait staff more than what they are required to, so it's not as bad as it used to be when they would literally make something ridiculous like $2.80 an hour.

Now a lot of them pay something like $7-8 an hour.

It's how it is in the US. If you are that against it, don't go out to restaurants and eat here. In Europe they include it in the price of the meal, they don't here. I expect similar meals are more expensive in Europe due to this.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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M

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Haha I was just thinking about how tipping might effect women. I was thinking more about the specific date with a woman, and that she might look at how does the man she is with tips . I can also imagine tipping can create some sort of bond if you are a regular, what might also benefit you when you take a woman on a date.
I’ve had much more success tipping in cash
 

Gamisch

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Oke great to hear they improve on the salary.

I get that the first time they won't do nasty stuff with your food, but what about the second visit? Interestingly this hypothetical question seems like a stupid question, because NOT tipping seems simply unheard off. So not many people have experience with not tipping ,but yet going to place regularly. I think in Europe its punishable by law if they mess with your food on purpose.

The prices will balance each other out I geuss, whether that's on tip or a fixed price. Still it's extremely lucrative to work in places certain sectors as they both pay minimum wage and get great tips. But the wage is more to keep the employee from extorting his personell.

I do get a better picture now though. From a culture perspective it's interesting to see the differences in mindsets. What does surprise me is the fact most will say, " tip or don't go". Doesn't seem like voluntary, rather obligatory. I geuss there are many people who will follow the program reluctantly.
 

f(x)

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Yes, you must subsidize the restaurant owner via tipping so they can avoid paying their wait staff a living wage. This is American capitalism.
 
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As a former service worker that relied on tips, just fvcking tip your server or don't eat out. You protesting American capitalism isn't going to do anything, but pvss off the staff. Yes, we will remember you lol. Now, still use common sense though. Today, someone that just reaches in a basket to just hand you a piece of bread is going to ask for a tip. I don't tip on that lol.
 

eli77

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I love this topic as someone who's worked in hospitality most of his life I have to say I really eat out anymore unless it's at a three-star restaurant but when I do I do the whole 15%
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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