Telling girlfriend I don't want kids

[andy87]

Good day folks, I've been in a relationship for 3 years, I'm 34 she's 29, when we first met she said she wasn't interested in having kids so I thought that's great but now she has changed her tune, I'm still not sure but think I don't I do as they are a huge responsibility. Anyone else been in this situation where they have had there girlfriend change there mind and had to end it?

 

[SW15]

You got 3 years out of a relationship. That's solid. If she really wants kids and you don't want them, you're going to have to end it now before it ends badly. You're going to have to have a matter-of-fact conversation and end it.

You're in a tough spot at age 34. If you're dating women 29-34, a lot of them are starting to feel rumbling ovaries if they are childless. It's not easy to meet a woman 28-39 who is childless and doesn't want children. When a woman turns 40 and is childless, she might been more inclined to accept the reality that she isn't going to have children and is willing to live a childless dating life with a man.

I have never been all too enthusiastic about having children at any point in my dating history. At 39, it'd be tough for me to start a life with children. It would impact my retirement if I were to have children in my 40s. Additionally, unless I was having children with a woman under 30, there are higher risks of birth defects or other abnormalities. Two older parents isn't best for a child's developmental health.

If you're a 30 something man looking to date 30 something women and you don't want kids, you're in a tough spot. If you say right away you don't want kids, your prospect pool will diminish to essentially zero. I would recommend saying you're open to children in the future, but it's not a short term priority. That way, you'll keep prospects around. Try to date 24-29 year olds if you can for the next few years. The only 30 somethings worth dating are the ones who are childless and don't want kids in your position.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Time to monkey branch to a younger/hotter girl bro. Its over for NoKidsCels

 

[Modern Man Advice]

That is a pretty significant life goal and value. If someone wants children and the other doesn't you are simply not on the same page, chapter, and possibly book.

Speaking for myself, that is one of my deal breakers. If a girl does not want kids (not even adopt) I just simply do not see myself committing to her.

In your case, after 3 years that conversation needs to be had. In your case she does and you don't. The sooner you have clarity on the matter the better it will be for both of you in the long run.

You should find someone aligned with your life vision and allow her to fulfill her natural desire to be a mother.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Kotaix]

If she wants kids and you don't, it's only a matter of time until she dumps you for someone that will give them to her. Baby Rabies is a force of nature.

As to whether you want them or not, you best figure that out sooner rather than later.

 

[Epicwinguy]

Soon you will have no other choice besides celibacy

 

[EyeBRollin]

Good day folks, I've been in a relationship for 3 years, I'm 34 she's 29, when we first met she said she wasn't interested in having kids so I thought that's great but now she has changed her tune, I'm still not sure but think I don't I do as they are a huge responsibility. Anyone else been in this situation where they have had there girlfriend change there mind and had to end it?

She didn’t change her mind. All childless women of child bearing age want kids. It was naive to believe her in the first place.

Dump the girl. Don’t waste her time.

 

[The Duke]

She didn’t change her mind. All childless women of child bearing age want kids. It was naive to believe her in the first place.

Dump the girl. Don’t waste her time.

Definitely some truth to that. Same applies for the ones who first say they don't want to get married, then do 3yrs later. They can all hit the road and find somebody who will do that for them. Becareful in what you believe. Women are always "fluid".

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Wrap it up and dont kum insider her

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Time to cut her loose brother, or like many she may pull an oopsie like has happened to many. Make sure you’re using contraception do not depend on her to.

I learned this lesson the hard way.

Good day folks, I've been in a relationship for 3 years, I'm 34 she's 29, when we first met she said she wasn't interested in having kids so I thought that's great but now she has changed her tune, I'm still not sure but think I don't I do as they are a huge responsibility. Anyone else been in this situation where they have had there girlfriend change there mind and had to end it?

 

[corsica]

Most women after 27 want kids. They might say otherwise to not scare men but thought is there.

You're in a difficult position since your life will change after that. If you're not ready to have kids now, it's better to dump her ASAP to give her a chance to be a mother.

In case you want kids:
- Are your finances in order?
- Are you ready for a sexless life? The baby will take the life out of her tits and she will lose interest in sex.
- Majority of women don't go back in shape.
- 2 years without proper sleep.

There are many topics but you get the idea. The plus side is having your legacy there.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I feel bad for OP trying to date in that age range. Good luck with that, your dating pool is cut down to like 10% of available women as soon as you say you don't want kids.

 

[SW15]

I feel bad for OP trying to date in that age range. Good luck with that, your dating pool is cut down to like 10% of available women as soon as you say you don't want kids.

That's why you don't disclose that you don't want kids if you actually don't want kids. You omit and postpone. As long as you haven't had a vasectomy, you can say you are open to having children. That's technically true, but you don't act that way. Keep using condoms and the relationship will likely end before or when the kid issue becomes a top priority for the woman. @andy87 took this relationship as far as he could.

Few childless women don't want kids. There are single moms that don't want additional kids. If you're a guy who doesn't want kids, there's no point in being a quasi cuck to a single mom who already has kids. If you get to 40 and don't have kids, you can get away with dating a similarly aged woman who doesn't have kids. When women get to 40 and are childless and not in an LTR, some of them can get semi rational that kids aren't going to be realistic for her. However, I have seen screen shots of Bumble profiles of women in their mid-40s that say they want children someday.

 

[EyeBRollin]

However, I have seen screen shots of Bumble profiles of women in their mid-40s that say they want children someday.

I have heard this as well.. on Kevin Samuels show. 43 year old women saying they want kids and a high value man. LOL

 

[SW15]

I have heard this as well.. on Kevin Samuels show. 43 year old women saying they want kids and a high value man. LOL

We had a thread a few months ago about a 49 year old woman who wanted kids.

Oh you guys are gunna love this...

Welcome to Northern California. Now to see all the replies about "she's an old hag that's seen more cawk than a urinal at Grand Central Station"... But seriously, she's 50 and wants a baby?!

www.sosuave.net

Another option that is viable for some men who in their 30s/early 40s is to date 10-15 years younger, generally 20-27 year olds who aren't close to being ready for kids. A man needs to be somewhat high income/net worth to pull this one off.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

all women want kids. my zoomer ex-, super woke liberal said she never wanted kids. when we were together she missed her period. she said ‘what are you going to do. I said ‘start looking at baby clothes’. She was ecstatic.

 

[corrector]

I'm 46 y/o and think that you have an excellent opportunity to bring a child into the world at your age before you start getting too old for that. You can have a piece of yourself growing inside her belly. You can mark the baby's birth as a milestone year. If I had a kid with my ex-wife, he/she would be 8 years old now. I never had that and you are squandering this away listening to stranger's advice?

Just imagine yourself when you are 50 or 60 years old and people ask you if you have children, or anything to show for yourself, what you will say if you keep passing up these opportunities. My uncle is like over 77 years old and he has a 7 year old child. You don't want to have kids that late in the day.

 

[SW15]

I have it, its reversible and there are clinics with 99% success rate if its earlier than 10 years. Is it over for VasectomyCels?

A vasectomy makes it more difficult to market yourself to women for longer term arrangments.

Men who get vasectomies are often married beta males in long term relationships with a wife who had her 2+ children and doesn't want any more. If the marriage falls apart, these beta males are in a tougher spot if they are semi-young when they divorce.

Vasectomy reversals can be difficult.

I've never been very inclined to have kids but I've never written it off. Even if I had wanted kids, I had some serious issues during the years that were best for starting a family (ages 25-35). I finished my MBA right as shiit was hitting the fan in 2008 (I was 25). Graduating into 2008 led to a brutal job search and a major career trajectory setback. That setback cost me 5-10 years to recover from. Men's jobs are very linked to their self-image, self-esteem, and SMV. It is problematic that I present a white collar vibe. If I had been a broke, tattooed dirtbag possibly with a criminal record, I would have been less affected from both a work and an SMV perspective by the late 2000s/early 2010s recession. The women interested in broke, tattooed dirtbags don't really care about their income. It's only the bougie/yuppie White women with bachelor's degrees or higher that care about it.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Sloppily done ones are hard reversals, if you do get one g to a top line urologist - preferably one that does more reversals than vas’s. They tend to do outstanding work because they know they stand a chance of doing a reversal. If anyone needs a referral to one of the best male urologists in NorCal who is totally redpill and a men’s advocate also very up on TRT, PM me.

There is also a very promising reversible vasectomy product with a proven track record-it may be available in some countries I believe it’s in fda approval here in the US:

Male Contraceptive Research - Parsemus Foundation

The need and demand for new male contraceptive options has grown. The Parsemus Foundation has supported male contraceptive research and advocacy.

www.parsemus.org

A vasectomy makes it more difficult to market yourself to women for longer term arrangments.

Men who get vasectomies are often married beta males in long term relationships with a wife who had her 2+ children and doesn't want any more. If the marriage falls apart, these beta males are in a tougher spot if they are semi-young when they divorce.

Vasectomy reversals can be difficult.

I've never been very inclined to have kids but I've never written it off. Even if I had wanted kids, I had some serious issues during the years that were best for starting a family (ages 25-35). I finished my MBA right as shiit was hitting the fan in 2008 (I was 25). Graduating into 2008 led to a brutal job search and a major career trajectory setback. That setback cost me 5-10 years to recover from. Men's jobs are very linked to their self-image, self-esteem, and SMV. It is problematic that I present a white collar vibe. If I had been a broke, tattooed dirtbag possibly with a criminal record, I would have been less affected from both a work and an SMV perspective by the late 2000s/early 2010s recession. The women interested in broke, tattooed dirtbags don't really care about their income. It's only the bougie/yuppie White women with bachelor's degrees or higher that care about it.

 

[corsica]

^^

I've been following Vasalgel for years and their mailing list is pure BS. It's always "around the corner" and they send you useless articles about behavior of neutered dogs and such. If you're looking for a vasectomy, it's better to stick to the one that works. I'm looking to do one next year.