LucianoM
Senior Don Juan
What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
BS ^What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they don't have girls to chill with or are butthurt about a girl.
BS ^
Open water long-distance swimming<alone>, spearfishing<alone> scuba diving<alone>, cycling<alone>, rock&roll dancing<alone>, drumming<alone>,
Girls are a bonus.
Get a life
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Nope!What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
I think hobbies should be for personal enjoyment/enrichment only.Agreed. Overrated advice that ends up in sausage fests.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
No guy should have a hobby because of the 1/256 chance you'll meet someone.I think hobbies should be for personal enjoyment/enrichment only.
I cringe at the (blue pill/boomer) advice that "You're gonna meet someone while you're just enjoying your hobby." It's possible, but I wouldn't put money on it.
Your mindset to hobbies seems to be that you do them for other people, not for yourself. Hobbies are to build your skills, relax and disconnect from hard work. They aren't to show off to other people to look girl or to get girls. Those things are just extras that can add more value to your lifeWhat interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
Right? Some of these alone and some with a group. I guess it may be different if you already have a mate. I’ve had buddies mention inviting the ladies along and we laughed, “bro, we’re here to get away from the wives/girl friends, get a break from our responsibilities and have some fun.” I’ve brought my wife along on activities and she complained the whole time. I thought, “holy fuk, what was I thinking?”. Not every minute of the day needs to involve the presence of a woman. Women like to talk, men like to do. i’d rather bomb down a trail in the Santa Cruz mountains then listen to the current female friend group drama. Idk, some guys have this notion that once you get a woman you’re gonna be fuking non stop like rabbits. You should have hobbies that enrich your life and bring you joy. If a woman is there for some of it, then cool.Golf, hunting, fishing, wood working, traveling, hiking, running, weight training, reading...self improvement
i prioritize my hobbies and self improvement over hanging with females. She comes along for the journey and when I have a free evening will hang with her...
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I think it is a good idea for all men to engage in some hobbies. The personal enrichment aspect of hobbies can provide talking points during pickups and on 1st/2nd dates. The hobbies themselves are not likely to lead to dates, but they are useful for male friendships. Male friendships are often hobby based. It can be a good idea to combine your hobbies into your male friendship time.I think hobbies should be for personal enjoyment/enrichment only.
I cringe at the (blue pill/boomer) advice that "You're gonna meet someone while you're just enjoying your hobby." It's possible, but I wouldn't put money on it.
This is 100% accurate in my mating environment experiences as well.women don't really care about "compatibility" in the context of having common interests/hobbies. Attraction is king. Having common interests without solid sexual attraction is called friendzone.
What if your hobby is SexpatMaxxing?What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
Not necessarily, not everyone is the same. I've gone without intimate female company for multiple years now.And here's the thing about being without something for too long: Eventually you need "interest."
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.