Are these all signs of Gaslighting?

[derby1]

Lets say someone says "tell me their name"

then a few minutes/messages later, you reply with the name.

then they reply " I dont want to know",

Is this all signs of gaslighting?

and if they accuse you of not caring, when all you've done is care?

again is this gaslighting?

how do you deal with this? its a family member who only seems to do it, after a few drinks. Doesnt gaslight any other time.

 

[Plinco]

Lets say someone says "tell me their name"

then a few minutes/messages later, you reply with the name.

then they reply " I dont want to know",

Is this all signs of gaslighting?

and if they accuse you of not caring, when all you've done is care?

again is this gaslighting?

how do you deal with this? its a family member who only seems to do it, after a few drinks. Doesnt gaslight any other time.

People are more honest when drinking alcohol. This is probably manipulative behavior.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Usually. When you feel something is wrong and you start to doubt your sanity, then yes.

i know from some TikTok videos, that women like to gaslight men just to see their reaction. Or leaving men with blue balls.. social media is really weird.

just stay away from the person when your instincts tell you so

+1

BPD is thrown around too much but there's an abundance of sociopath females running around. Fellas would be better off deeming majority as booty call material. Not upgrade to play house.

Fellas need to gage her not based upon aesthetics but value added or more accurately the lack thereof which typically accompanies modern women.

 

[derby1]

I soft ghosted the family member for 36 hours, they messaged my phone 5 times. during this period and I ignored the message.

I explained to them today what they had done wrong, and they explained , theyre morbidly depressed on the night time, and lonely.

(presume this is their way of getting attention from people) Ignoring them seems to have brought out a more loving person.

anyway we discussed the topic and I explained to them we wont tolerate it.

I presume they have been rewarded for poor behaviour in the past. I dont believe they are a bad person at the core.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

While I don't doubt gaslighting is real, I think it's an overused term, and there isn't much consensus on what sort of behavior qualifies.

I would think only truly sociopathic, unstable, BPD types would intentionally and routinely make someone confused for control. You should be able to snuff those people out pretty quickly, how could anyone let it get to the point where you start "questioning your sanity?"

 

[bat soup]

Lets say someone says "tell me their name"

then a few minutes/messages later, you reply with the name.

then they reply " I dont want to know",

Is this all signs of gaslighting?

and if they accuse you of not caring, when all you've done is care?

again is this gaslighting?

how do you deal with this? its a family member who only seems to do it, after a few drinks. Doesnt gaslight any other time.

No. Gaslighting is actually a form of street lighting that went out of fashion in the 1930s.

 

[Bigpapa]

The reason why people are more susceptible to it today than before is because society hasnt given us a standard for female behavior at all. There is so much erratic behavior excused and baked into their world that we have no baseline comparison to detect the truly malevolent ones.

When men do it, it is simple to detect. Actually, every liberal friend I have has done it to me at some level because their politics is trauma-based.

it can also be a sh1t test to see how you react

Latinas are notorious for sh1t testing , ranging from saying something quite offensive to you like “ are you gay ? “ to not responding for a couple of days

if it is not part of the culture , then it might be very likely that they try to actual gaslight you

 

[ubercat]

Unfortunately for many of the guys here watching that flick would be reliving past horrors. There s a reason men end up here

Derby yes this is sh1t behaviour. Don't spend many neurons on them. They re either unhappy and bitter or a psych case.

A few ways you could easily respond.
1. If you want to rescue. No worries. And how are things going with you.

2. If you want to dismiss and move on: shake your head and physically turn away from them and start talking to somebody else.

3. If you want to throw under bus: That was weird and #2

#3 is going more on attack. It will damage the relationship with them. I d do that if it was personal. They were only being an a- hole to you.

EDIT sorry I just read your second post. My modest wisdom was unnecessary

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I soft ghosted the family member for 36 hours, they messaged my phone 5 times. during this period and I ignored the message.

I explained to them today what they had done wrong, and they explained , theyre morbidly depressed on the night time, and lonely.

(presume this is their way of getting attention from people) Ignoring them seems to have brought out a more loving person.

anyway we discussed the topic and I explained to them we wont tolerate it.

I presume they have been rewarded for poor behaviour in the past. I dont believe they are a bad person at the core.

You still need had boundaries. In the pandemic I cut girls, blue pill geeks and anybody off that wasn't adding value. Any poison dropping or any sunk cost fallacy, hard #next! This includes family. Mom or dad bashing the lifestyle you live, hit block delete. A lot of dudes are alpha online but fold up if mom starts the water works or whatever. No dice.

 

[ubercat]

Frame has become essential everywhere now they have feminised the world. We re all b1tching and bickering like chix And it's only going to get worse as robot trucks etc. take away the jobs for men

 

[Bigpapa]

Most gas lighting is actually not intentional in that way, it's response to being deeply offended or embarrassed something and lashing out in anger or fear of exposure.

gaslighting I think that it becomes more often as we age , and mainly it has to do with traumas and becoming bitter

as an idea , with young women 26-27 and bellow you can easily be ****y and sexual . They will love it

with women above , they Will try to sh1t test you and gaslight you

so as a guy , especially if you are targeting the not so youthful women you have to become very vanilla and quite boring in order to bang . If you have f8ck boy vibes then a lot of sh1t testing will come

guys Focus so
Much on game that actually will get less successfully the better they become

women want both , also a f8ckboy but also a guy that they can tool around

 

[Bokanovsky]

Lets say someone says "tell me their name"

then a few minutes/messages later, you reply with the name.

then they reply " I dont want to know",

Is this all signs of gaslighting?

Hard to say without further context. I suppose it could also be a sign of mental retardation.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

guys Focus so
Much on game that actually will get less successfully the better they become

women want both , also a f8ckboy but also a guy that they can tool around

Can you elaborate on this?

 

[Bigpapa]

Can you elaborate on this?

like things deteriorated so much between the genders that having game is not enough anymore to get laid

Game usually works for the younger crowd , 28+ women are either desperate to secure a guy , either are so jaded that they hate guys

if 28+ women see that you have game , then they will hate you for having game

better to pass as not having game , which is almost impossible

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[Bigpapa]

Absolutely true

Women women 28+ are alpha widowed , the only thing that they will want is another f8ck boy to mess with their heart

the trick with them is to come as a normal guy , even if this means not being the alpha guy that people in general is a must

the trick with women is to give them what they think they want or think they want

if everyone is serious about having a good partner , you have to look in the 22-28 range

you can still be quite successful in this age group even in your 40s or 50s if you take really good care of yourself

anything 28+ only focus if indeed she is remarkable (either looks , either personality , or career )

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Can someone chime in? I may have been gaslit myself recently and something happened that really has ****ed with me because I don't think I ever have been before.

A couple months ago was talking to a chick about mens outfits/style/etc. I ask if she likes turtlenecks and she says men look sexy in turtlenecks. I remember that inspiring me to go buy one since I had been thinking about it anyway and it sat in my shopping cart since.

The other day, I mention a turtleneck and she says "what's a turtleneck?" At first I gave her the benefit of the doubt, as she's an immigrant. Then I think, what other synonyms are there for turtleneck? And what other common words sound even remotely similar to it? And, to top it she's been here 15 years - what are the odds she doesn't know what a turtleneck is?

In case anyone thinks this isn't gaslighting, I can provide more context but to me even in a vacuum this sounds like it is almost without a doubt.

 

[2Rocky]

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Looks like some pop psychology stuff but she absolutely did the 01, 03, 04, and maybe 05 recently. She would literally claim she didn't say things she had just said the previous day or even 5 seconds ago and attacked my credibility, character, etc then would eventually try to explain it away when I held my ground.

I already cut ties with her but I wanted to make sure I didn't imagine these things.

 

[Zimbabwe]

This is like 95% of women

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

This is like 95% of women

When I think about it, it's because "light" gaslighting is basically a part of female behavior already. But conscious, malicious gaslighting is just an exaggerated, insidious form of something that almost all women already do by default.

When it's done to get you to question your sanity and manipulate you, that's way different than simple lying to gain approval or frame testing.