22-Year-Old FWB wants more

[Chuck Taylor]

Yesterday, the 22-year-old I've been f*cking twice a week asked me "where is this going?" She has a few thousand Instagram followers and a sh!t ton of Abercrombie-type guy friends.

I'm almost 40. Is this a bad idea? I've set some boundaries but I'm 99.9% positive this will end with her trying to burn my house down. Any wisdom and advice is preciated.

 

[2Rocky]

Maybe she doesn't want more? MAybe she wants to make sure you aren't getting too attached.

You should be able to speak to what your mission is in life and how she fits into it. Tell her what you value about her, and what you like about the relationship.

Any guy who keeps a womn around for multiple encounters is going to have her ask 'where is this going, and you should expect to be able to answer it.

 

[Barrister]

First - nice work assuming she is hot which I imagine she is.

Second, you have to realize that USUALLY this kind of arrangement isn't going to work long term. She is signalling to you that she is not going to keep doing what you're doing much longer. You either commit a bit more, or get ready to get off the ride. If you do decide to commit a bit more and keep her around longer, you need to do it in as masculine a way as possible and keep her in check. She is going to get a lot of attention as a hot 22 year old. So you have to decide if that is what you want - or maybe you just want to spin plates and have less stress.

Highly sought after women (read: hot) generally are not going to stick around to being a plate longer than 3-4 months. So if you are at that threshold, the plate status has probably run its course and its decision time. Not an easy position to be in - but not a bad one either.

 

[Stuffnu]

Enjoy the ride while you can. She will eventually bounce as her priorities will be different from yours. I say that from experience…

 

[Chuck Taylor]

First - nice work assuming she is hot which I imagine she is.

Second, you have to realize that USUALLY this kind of arrangement isn't going to work long term. She is signalling to you that she is not going to keep doing what you're doing much longer. You either commit a bit more, or get ready to get off the ride. If you do decide to commit a bit more and keep her around longer, you need to do it in as masculine a way as possible and keep her in check. She is going to get a lot of attention as a hot 22 year old. So you have to decide if that is what you want - or maybe you just want to spin plates and have less stress.

Highly sought after women (read: hot) generally are not going to stick around to being a plate longer than 3-4 months. So if you are at that threshold, the plate status has probably run its course and its decision time. Not an easy position to be in - but not a bad one either.

I think I'm going to get off the ride. Easier said thn done, but I'm sure she'll find another c0ck in no time.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I dated a university sophomore in my late 40’s for a while, it’s the longest ONS ever. I started the relationship with her by saying this is a spring/fall relationship “it has an expiration date” is what I said. Unbeknownst to me at the time it’s probably what set it up to last as long as it did with her asking me to marry her when she finished her degree, and she wanted babies in her early twenties.

For a split moment I believed it might work, then I woke up to the fact that I’d be 70 and she’d be 40 - see where I’m going with this?

After a month of her pushing, I broke it off - it was waterworks.

So maybe, next time set it up from the beginning the same way.

 

[2Rocky]

My buddy was 40 , his wife in her 20's.

When they divorced he said:


"i was a big deal when I was 40 . Not so much when I was 60...."

 

[Krueg]

If shes asking she may want more than just friends with benefits or has a different agenda and is testing you... who knows shes still young. Like you said, probably time to start going a different direction

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Let's be real...all you want from her is sex. There is not much a 40 year old has in common with a 22 years old. So just enjoy the ride while you can.

 

[manfrombelow]

Yesterday, the 22-year-old I've been f*cking twice a week asked me "where is this going?" She has a few thousand Instagram followers and a sh!t ton of Abercrombie-type guy friends.

I'm almost 40. Is this a bad idea? I've set some boundaries but I'm 99.9% positive this will end with her trying to burn my house down. Any wisdom and advice is preciated.

At the beginning, did you or did you not make it clear with her about the FWB intention?

I am 90% sure you didn't do it, because if you had done it, she would never have asked you this "Where is this going" question.

Stay calm and don't panic. Just say something vague like "I'm fine where we are at and I'm not ready for anything more serious".

She will most likely dumb you after hearing it, so what? You had enough fun anyway.

 

[Glassguy]

Enjoy the ride while you can. She will eventually bounce as her priorities will be different from yours. I say that from experience…

I agree. I've banged a decent amount of women who were 15-20 years younger than me. Including a 21 year old a month ago and a 23 year old that I see regularly now.

Just enjoy it and keep them chasing if you can. Keep the expectations at a minimum

 

[Doctor Europeo]

OP had his fun with the girl and Im glad he did but I think its time to get off the ride, let someone else enjoy the ride while he finds another ride. Just like at an amusement park.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Yesterday, the 22-year-old I've been f*cking twice a week asked me "where is this going?" She has a few thousand Instagram followers and a sh!t ton of Abercrombie-type guy friends.

I'm almost 40. Is this a bad idea? I've set some boundaries but I'm 99.9% positive this will end with her trying to burn my house down. Any wisdom and advice is preciated.

First, ignore all the bad advice in this thread. The guys are just jealous you bagged a 22 year old at your age.

Main questions to ask are:
what do you want from her?
what do you want out of dating?