Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The number one reason MOST of you on here probably struggle.

Jesse Pinkman

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So I've read thread after thread here before becoming a member and I gotta say, I think I know why the majority of you are struggling with women. I think this is particularly true for older guys on here who say that dating for them got tough or meeting women got tough as they got older. While people can pin it down to looks, lack of wealth, lack of game, or whatever; I think I know the real reason that never gets mentioned.

Before I say it though, I want to add a bit of a prelude. People will claim that who they are online isn't really who they are in real life but I had a different experience. Back when PUA forums like RSD were active, I would wing with guys and some guys were regular posters on the forums. The guys would be all hung up in the Red Pill and Black Pill theories but then on Saturdays, come out to game every now and then. As soon as adversity hit in the form of a sh1t test, rejection, or just being stupidly drunks; their real side came out and it was very much close to the persona they were on the forum. Toxic, bitter, misogynist, and you name it. But that's not what I am getting at here.

MOST of you on here are probably unrelatable.

Like if I was to introduce you to a crowd of hot girls and ask you to sit down and chat with them, you would make a fool out of yourselves. I mean think about the mental content you are surrounding yourself with on the daily whenever you browse internet forums or a red pill community:
  • Hypergamy
  • Women suck and things need to go back to how they used to be
  • The world is falling apart
  • Life gets worse after college
  • Women are dark triad sociopaths
  • Only dark triad men get women
I am not debating how true all of these are, in fact I'd argue that a good bit of what you talk about here is true. The point I am really trying to make is that hot girls and guys that get them regularly don't really care as much about this stuff. What are they caring about?
  • Where is the next fun party
  • What is that next fancy vacation spot
  • What is X celebrity doing
  • What is going on in sports
  • How about that latest Netflix special
Let me put it this way, if I was to get a group of hot girls to sit down and talk to the average guy on here, they will probably walk away thinking "whoa wtf that guy was weird". You are literally on two different wavelengths compared to the women you want to get as well as the guys they end up eventually getting with. The "Chads" and alpha males out there? They rarely care about red pill topics as much and even if they do, they rarely talk about them all that much. Most of the times they are in the moment, focused, chill, enjoying the time, and having fun.

This is especially true for those of you who thirst after college girls, they legit do not care about social theories. Funny sidenote, I could so see some Red Piller gaming a younger college girl and saying "my love, you are so fertile!" as she creeps out, almost spit my drink at that thought.

Women subconsciously pick up on this as well, they realize that something is "off" about you. Their brains start ringing and saying that if they introduced you to their friends, their friends will go "what are you doing with that weird guy?". In a way this is even true if you are trying to go into business and reach the younger demographics, you just aren't appealing to them and are seen as "lame".

I think most guys here can benefit from doing alpha hobbies like MMA, getting into sports, going out to have a good time, making friends who are more in the know how, and only using game communities to either find wings or share positive knowledge. A lot of the stuff even on this forum at times will make you bitter, toxic, and unrelatable because its so many guys complaining.
 

Zimbabwe

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Firstly welcome to the forum, I can see you're contributions are going to be great.

All of what you said is 100% true, even I'm guilty of it. I've always made a fool of myself infront of women. Too many of us blame everything else but ourselves for the lack of success.

'I'm good as a person but how can I improve my actions to get the result I desire'
 

MatureDJ

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Owe, I would try & chat them up, but they will soon say they have to go do something. :mad:
 

RobbyDog

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So I've read thread after thread here before becoming a member and I gotta say, I think I know why the majority of you are struggling with women. I think this is particularly true for older guys on here who say that dating for them got tough or meeting women got tough as they got older. While people can pin it down to looks, lack of wealth, lack of game, or whatever; I think I know the real reason that never gets mentioned.

Before I say it though, I want to add a bit of a prelude. People will claim that who they are online isn't really who they are in real life but I had a different experience. Back when PUA forums like RSD were active, I would wing with guys and some guys were regular posters on the forums. The guys would be all hung up in the Red Pill and Black Pill theories but then on Saturdays, come out to game every now and then. As soon as adversity hit in the form of a sh1t test, rejection, or just being stupidly drunks; their real side came out and it was very much close to the persona they were on the forum. Toxic, bitter, misogynist, and you name it. But that's not what I am getting at here.

MOST of you on here are probably unrelatable.

Like if I was to introduce you to a crowd of hot girls and ask you to sit down and chat with them, you would make a fool out of yourselves. I mean think about the mental content you are surrounding yourself with on the daily whenever you browse internet forums or a red pill community:
  • Hypergamy
  • Women suck and things need to go back to how they used to be
  • The world is falling apart
  • Life gets worse after college
  • Women are dark triad sociopaths
  • Only dark triad men get women
I am not debating how true all of these are, in fact I'd argue that a good bit of what you talk about here is true. The point I am really trying to make is that hot girls and guys that get them regularly don't really care as much about this stuff. What are they caring about?
  • Where is the next fun party
  • What is that next fancy vacation spot
  • What is X celebrity doing
  • What is going on in sports
  • How about that latest Netflix special
Let me put it this way, if I was to get a group of hot girls to sit down and talk to the average guy on here, they will probably walk away thinking "whoa wtf that guy was weird". You are literally on two different wavelengths compared to the women you want to get as well as the guys they end up eventually getting with. The "Chads" and alpha males out there? They rarely care about red pill topics as much and even if they do, they rarely talk about them all that much. Most of the times they are in the moment, focused, chill, enjoying the time, and having fun.

This is especially true for those of you who thirst after college girls, they legit do not care about social theories. Funny sidenote, I could so see some Red Piller gaming a younger college girl and saying "my love, you are so fertile!" as she creeps out, almost spit my drink at that thought.

Women subconsciously pick up on this as well, they realize that something is "off" about you. Their brains start ringing and saying that if they introduced you to their friends, their friends will go "what are you doing with that weird guy?". In a way this is even true if you are trying to go into business and reach the younger demographics, you just aren't appealing to them and are seen as "lame".

I think most guys here can benefit from doing alpha hobbies like MMA, getting into sports, going out to have a good time, making friends who are more in the know how, and only using game communities to either find wings or share positive knowledge. A lot of the stuff even on this forum at times will make you bitter, toxic, and unrelatable because its so many guys complaining.
Haha…just last week, a girl told me I was weird, but cute. Not long after I smashed her silly.

After we banged, she complained how she didn’t know where she stood with me…she didn’t know how to read me. This was after three dates. Perfect :)
 
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SW15

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Owe, I would try & chat them up, but they will soon say they have to go do something. :mad:
You likely came off as awkward and unrelatable.

Haha…just last week, a girl told me I was weird, but cute. Not long after I smashed her silly.

After we banged, she complained how she didn’t know where she stood with me…she didn’t know how to read me. This was after three dates. Perfect :)
That's good. Enjoy!

hot girls and guys that get them regularly don't really care as much about this stuff. What are they caring about?
  • Where is the next fun party
  • What is that next fancy vacation spot
  • What is X celebrity doing
  • What is going on in sports
  • How about that latest Netflix special
Attractive women care about 4 of those 5 for sure. Sports would be the one I'd exclude. Some attractive women are into fitness and some might have played a sport actively in high school or college. Being more into the playing of a sport than watching sports is something I'd call more of a turn on for women besides that is closer to how they feel. Notice the use of the word 'feel'. Women operate a lot on 'feeling' rather than logical thinking. They have to feel something for the man. A common word use in the Manosphere to describe this is "vaginal tingles".

Let me put it this way, if I was to get a group of hot girls to sit down and talk to the average guy on here, they will probably walk away thinking "whoa wtf that guy was weird". You are literally on two different wavelengths compared to the women you want to get as well as the guys they end up eventually getting with. The "Chads" and alpha males out there? They rarely care about red pill topics as much and even if they do, they rarely talk about them all that much. Most of the times they are in the moment, focused, chill, enjoying the time, and having fun.

Women subconsciously pick up on this as well, they realize that something is "off" about you. Their brains start ringing and saying that if they introduced you to their friends, their friends will go "what are you doing with that weird guy?". In a way this is even true if you are trying to go into business and reach the younger demographics, you just aren't appealing to them and are seen as "lame".
Interesting that you would bring up women's subconscious. As said earlier, women operate on 'feels'. It'd be difficult for a lot of them to put into words what exactly a man was doing wrong. Specific, actionable feedback is difficult to get with women. Observing their behavior, often guided by their 'feelings' is a better way of doing things.

Women who are 7-7.5+ are rarely capable of deep, intelligent, logical conversations. It's possible to have lower level conceptual discussions with them but not recommended until post sex. There's a trendy word among a set of women and some are cute (maybe 5.5-7) range. It's called intellectual. There are some cute women who would describe themselves as intellectual. Some of these women would be described as feminist and/or careerist.

  • Hypergamy
  • Women suck and things need to go back to how they used to be
  • The world is falling apart
  • Life gets worse after college
  • Women are dark triad sociopaths
  • Only dark triad men get women
I've never discussed 'dark triad' in a real life conversation with male friends or women I'm banging or intending to bang. If I've discussed any of these things in real life, it has been with male family members in a safe, non-judgmental space. Discussing any of those things doesn't serve much of a purpose.

The majority of my male friends are married or LTR guys in their 30s with some combination of the following attributes...
  • Single family house in the suburbs
  • Dog
  • Have children or are intending to have children soon
Those men don't care about the topics listed above. They are in LTRs with some sexual frequency. With some, I don't know how much but I know some have experienced a drop off in sexual frequency. That's common for relationships of 5+ years (married or not married).

There are men I'd call acquaintances who fit a similar profile to the friends I've described above.

Unattached men and men who tend to have shorter term relationship (2-3 years or less without kids or a ring) tend to be on the fringes of social circles after age 30.
 

SW15

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Firstly, guys have to stop relating to women as “friends” or even worse, as “girl friends” (and I don’t mean a girlfriend you’re banging).

The reason men aren’t relating to women these days (and it has nothing to do with age) is MASSIVE amounts of Woke social engineering - the goal of this agenda is to create a genderless world of sterile, androgynous gay sex.

Id say young guys today are even more confused and more alienated from women than older guys. At least guys my age and older remember a world with proper gender polarity, proper anti-gay messaging, proper kicking the sh1t out of weak men who are dragging down the rest of us. All good stuff. All men maintaining masculine standards.

Your solution appears to be implying “you need to relate to women by becoming a woman”- this is dangerous Woke gender dysphoria.
I didn't interpret @Jesse Pinkman's solution as that. I interpreted it as "you need be perceived by women as someone who leaves them with good feelings". There's a difference between leaving women with good feelings and becoming a woman.

I agree that it is best for men not to relate to women as "platonic friends". Men need to make clear their sexual intentions with women when they have sexual intentions. For the most part, most men have sexual intentions in most interactions. It's possible to have an interaction with a woman outside of the workplace and not have sexual intention but there has to be some sort of reasonable circumstance as to why there isn't intention.

@Pan87-you and I are both older Millennials. It was in the first half of the Millennial generation that a lot of the lack of gender polarity and other stuff you discuss started. When we were coming up in the late 1990s/early 2000s, that stuff was starting but less than it became after 2010 or so.

Learning how to relate to women in an attractive way is not difficult.

men and women should be celebrating their differences and the awesome partnership of the Masculine and the Feminine. 2 different pieces of a sexy puzzle.

But when men start “relating to women” on women’s terms - allowing women to take the frame so she can talk about trivial female nonsense - it’s THESE GUYS who don’t get laid.

The only thing worse than being bitter with women, is being happy with women. At least an angry guy has a chance of turning her on. A happy, camp “I can relate to women in 2022” male feminist is a total turn off for women.
Yes, celebrate differences and the awesome partnership!

It's also correct that male feminists, manginas, and other guys who relate to women on women's terms are not massive seducers either. There was a decent SNL skit in 2017 about these interactions...

 

Snag87

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Stop trying to impress women. Your mindset is all wrong.

When you’re out to impress women you’re always going to make a fool of yourself.

The dynamic should be her trying to break into your world, not you trying to break into her boring, non-existent world.

Until you fully absorb “I will only deal with women who like me” then pickup is always going to be painful for you because you’re trying to gain the approval of the equivalent pigeon. Performing for a pigeon is undignified.
Men are islands; women are boats.
 

Plinco

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Let me put it this way, if I was to get a group of hot girls to sit down and talk to the average guy on here, they will probably walk away thinking "whoa wtf that guy was weird". You are literally on two different wavelengths compared to the women you want to get as well as the guys they end up eventually getting with. The "Chads" and alpha males out there? They rarely care about red pill topics as much and even if they do, they rarely talk about them all that much. Most of the times they are in the moment, focused, chill, enjoying the time, and having fun.

This is especially true for those of you who thirst after college girls, they legit do not care about social theories. Funny sidenote, I could so see some Red Piller gaming a younger college girl and saying "my love, you are so fertile!" as she creeps out, almost spit my drink at that thought.

Women subconsciously pick up on this as well, they realize that something is "off" about you. Their brains start ringing and saying that if they introduced you to their friends, their friends will go "what are you doing with that weird guy?". In a way this is even true if you are trying to go into business and reach the younger demographics, you just aren't appealing to them and are seen as "lame".

I think most guys here can benefit from doing alpha hobbies like MMA, getting into sports, going out to have a good time, making friends who are more in the know how, and only using game communities to either find wings or share positive knowledge. A lot of the stuff even on this forum at times will make you bitter, toxic, and unrelatable because its so many guys complaining.
I think this is true for some of the people on here for sure. I've met a dude from this forum in person, and yes he was a bit socially awkward. That said, even with good social skills, you are not going to be relatable to everybody.
 

Dr.Suave

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The biggest problem is Chasing Women. You get laid when you don't chase any more
I feel you. I got some success recently when I legit stop caring.
 

SexManiac

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I feel you. I got some success recently when I legit stop caring.
When I say 'Not Chasing'. It doesn't mean 'Dont Approach Massively' but "Approach but Do NoT Chase".
You are chasing women when you are trying to impress her, when you are trying to be nice with them, when you wanna make rapport, when you trying to attract her using "PUA tenchinques" and I could say 1 millions subtle behaviors that all of them come from the mindset of "Chasing Women". Chasing Women for the language of girls means A Man without Abundance".
That is the biggest issue in the PUA community because most of the attraction techniques come from the Mindset of "Chasing Women" because you are doing it to attract her or to get some kind of outcome with her, let say the C&F of David DeAngelo or the Routines of Mystery, or millions more things in the community are techniques that comes from the mindset of the Chase Women, and that is how many guys don't seem to get it and it is because a lot of the PUA knowledge is pure BS. Most of the inner game knowledge is even more BS.
 
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sangheilios

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@Jesse Pinkman

This is actually interesting and something that I can relate to. I recall watching some videos a while ago on youtube that talked about why very intelligent men often fail with women, much of it related to what you mentioned on your post.

I'm in my early 30s, and I'm aspiring to attain multi millionaire status within the next 5 years or so, I'll be around 35-37. I live VERY frugally and do not flaunt wealth and actually feel guilty spending any money on myself, outside of essentials of course. Aside from this, I go to the gym a lot, do a little bit of hiking, read a lot and a more recent one I've gotten into is poker, I've already had some pretty good success with this. How the hell is a guy like me going to relate to women????? I guarantee you I'd be considered "boring" by most women until their looks fade, they hit the wall and are desperately searching for a provider type male to lock down......then they would find me interesting lol. Women only care about money if you are capable of providing an above average life for them. If you are a penny pincher, like I am, they don't care about the numbers in your investment portfolio or your house and toyota being paid off lol.

From what I've seen, most women primarily go for men that are "fun", though this has a broad spectrum. Party girls that are always looking for the next best club or party are going to go for men that can provide them with this thrill (nightclub promoter, frat boy, etc.). I recall a conversation a couple years back where a man said if you wanted to get a lot of women just be a coke dealer lol, same premise. Some women are looking for some outlandish lifestyle that you see on celebrity shows, with all the expensive clothes, trips, etc. Women like this will go for the man with "status" who can provide them with this type of experience. I actually know of several real life examples of this and the interesting thing is the men aren't even wealthy, one I know is up to his eyes in debt in order to create this image. However, this strategy is actually working for this man, and it's quite clear that this is his primary goal in life. The trend here is that women unconsciously view things like this as men displaying "status".
 

Jesse Pinkman

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People completely misunderstood the thread. My point is that most of you are beyond gone when it comes to not just relating with women but also cool men. Instead, I think you need to change your focus. I see way too many men bishing about women not wanting them due to age but then going on a rant about hypergamy, social issues, and wanting things to go back to the way they used to be. Here's the truth, you are on an entirely different wavelength than most of the guys who do get these women. They are not bitter and wanting things to go back to how they used to be or sour about women being how they are, they just exist and thrive.

These guys are too busy in their relatable hobbies to care about women being sluttier than they used to be. Most of you are too obsessed with social trends and are the kinds of guys who will say "oh my love you are so fertile" to a younger woman and creep her out rather than just be normal. You won't get it unless you get it but you are not relatable.

You cannot sit down and have a conversation at a bar with normal people.
 

biggoal

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@Jesse Pinkman

This is actually interesting and something that I can relate to. I recall watching some videos a while ago on youtube that talked about why very intelligent men often fail with women, much of it related to what you mentioned on your post.

I'm in my early 30s, and I'm aspiring to attain multi millionaire status within the next 5 years or so, I'll be around 35-37. I live VERY frugally and do not flaunt wealth and actually feel guilty spending any money on myself, outside of essentials of course. Aside from this, I go to the gym a lot, do a little bit of hiking, read a lot and a more recent one I've gotten into is poker, I've already had some pretty good success with this. How the hell is a guy like me going to relate to women????? I guarantee you I'd be considered "boring" by most women until their looks fade, they hit the wall and are desperately searching for a provider type male to lock down......then they would find me interesting lol. Women only care about money if you are capable of providing an above average life for them. If you are a penny pincher, like I am, they don't care about the numbers in your investment portfolio or your house and toyota being paid off lol.

From what I've seen, most women primarily go for men that are "fun", though this has a broad spectrum. Party girls that are always looking for the next best club or party are going to go for men that can provide them with this thrill (nightclub promoter, frat boy, etc.). I recall a conversation a couple years back where a man said if you wanted to get a lot of women just be a coke dealer lol, same premise. Some women are looking for some outlandish lifestyle that you see on celebrity shows, with all the expensive clothes, trips, etc. Women like this will go for the man with "status" who can provide them with this type of experience. I actually know of several real life examples of this and the interesting thing is the men aren't even wealthy, one I know is up to his eyes in debt in order to create this image. However, this strategy is actually working for this man, and it's quite clear that this is his primary goal in life. The trend here is that women unconsciously view things like this as men displaying "status".
So if you expect to have a few million in 5 years you're already well off. I just find this hard to believe from all your post on here about working out and having money. Especially in your 30s when women tend to become more gold digging. Not calling you out or anything but I just find this pretty odd.

Maybe it's a regional thing, I dunno. Here in SWFL it's tourist, service based economy and crap pay , high cost of living so maybe that's why the women around here seem to be more attracted to money, I dunno but I find it odd you have money and fit but don't do good.

Reminds me of that other euro poster, Attackformation is his name I think. Is trim and excellent shape and doesn't get any replies on OLD.

You might be onto something about not being flashy so they think you don't have money or lie about your wealth. I personally think it's stupid buying 1000 handbags and stupid stuff women buy.

Women who make good cash seem to have debit problems because they spend all of the money and can't save.
 

BadBoy89

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@Jesse Pinkman

From what I've seen, most women primarily go for men that are "fun", though this has a broad spectrum. Party girls that are always looking for the next best club or party are going to go for men that can provide them with this thrill (nightclub promoter, frat boy, etc.). I recall a conversation a couple years back where a man said if you wanted to get a lot of women just be a coke dealer lol, same premise. Some women are looking for some outlandish lifestyle that you see on celebrity shows, with all the expensive clothes, trips, etc. Women like this will go for the man with "status" who can provide them with this type of experience. I actually know of several real life examples of this and the interesting thing is the men aren't even wealthy, one I know is up to his eyes in debt in order to create this image. However, this strategy is actually working for this man, and it's quite clear that this is his primary goal in life. The trend here is that women unconsciously view things like this as men displaying "status".
This is true. Yet society brainwashes men to “study hard” and “get good grades” and “be a good person” and the girl will fall in love, Why? Because it keeps the powers that be in power. Can’t have too many cooks,
 

Epicenter

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People completely misunderstood the thread. My point is that most of you are beyond gone when it comes to not just relating with women but also cool men. Instead, I think you need to change your focus. I see way too many men bishing about women not wanting them due to age but then going on a rant about hypergamy, social issues, and wanting things to go back to the way they used to be. Here's the truth, you are on an entirely different wavelength than most of the guys who do get these women. They are not bitter and wanting things to go back to how they used to be or sour about women being how they are, they just exist and thrive.

These guys are too busy in their relatable hobbies to care about women being sluttier than they used to be. Most of you are too obsessed with social trends and are the kinds of guys who will say "oh my love you are so fertile" to a younger woman and creep her out rather than just be normal. You won't get it unless you get it but you are not relatable.

You cannot sit down and have a conversation at a bar with normal people.
You are moving the goalpost. This is a different thing.
 
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