Rock bottom

[Reyaj]

I don't think you hit rock bottom but good that all this is a wake up call for you though.

What kind of dog do you have?

 

[ubercat]

That's interesting. You should be physically tired and calm with the good self maintenance you re working on. What triggers your insomnia episodes?

 

[B80]

Yeah man I have an addictive personality. Not even a week since I've been dumped and I've already lined to four pretty girls. I don't know what's wrong with me?

Avoidance behaviour mabye ?

Feel good through the dopomine rush of chasing women. Forget and zone out of solving my real issues.

I'm 37. My real career is in the aerospace industry, basically a mechanical engineering technician. My experience is in military stuff.

Been away a long time. Will be rediculously hard to get back into it.


I've actually just started a blog. It's about another one of my passions ultra light fishing. More to tell stories about my fishing trips than anything else (not been fishing for a while as there isn't much about this time of year).

I'm earning a bit of side money from matched betting and taking advantage of loop holes in online casinos. All total legal and above board.

Been infornt of a screen doesn't help me though. It just puts me in my own head.

Reading a book called the mindful attraction plan. Basically it's a book about making a plan in line.

I need a plan.

I do the right things , yoga , meditate, strength training.

My biggest worst enemy is insomnia. That's a cycle I need to break. I'll fall asleep at a ridiculous time or not sleep at all.

Then I'm screwed the next day. So I'll go into destructive patterns.

Like I said I do the right things, but I completely lack discipline and I'm lazy, so constantly burning the house down.

Which could be because I'm lost and don't know my path.

Thank you so much for your detailed answers by the way. I really appreciate it.

Are you from UK? My mates and I hit matched betting stuff on a pretty industrial scale, some elected to leave their jobs for it a few years back when casino bonuses were still rife.

It's been going downhill for years though, casino pretty much gone, sports too.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

Are you from UK? My mates and I hit matched betting stuff on a pretty industrial scale, some elected to leave their jobs for it a few years back when casino bonuses were still rife.

It's been going downhill for years though, casino pretty much gone, sports too.

Yeah man. I'm in the UK. Not great money, it's useful though to earn a bit when my financial situation is dire though.

It's something.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

I don't think you hit rock bottom but good that all this is a wake up call for you though.

What kind of dog do you have?

I have a German Shepherd. I'll eventually get another shepherd (working line ) or a Mali.

 

[Reyaj]

I have a German Shepherd. I'll eventually get another shepherd (working line ) or a Mali.

Nice, a working dog.. takes patience and dedication.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

Nice, a working dog.. takes patience and dedication.

I do bitework/protection sports so I need a breed/line that's suited to the sport.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

So I was in a relationship for 8 years, that blew up.

After the relationship I had nothing keeping me in the area and so I moved back to my hometown where friends and family were.

So jobless living with a relatively I needed to sort my life out. I felt an itch and decided to have a look at online dating.

Wanted casual. A damaged women (didn't know at the time), hooked me. I fell for her, she's super into me e.t.c.

I tired to to resist her but we "fell in love".

She convinces me it's real. Gives me exactly what I think I need.

I become secure and invested.

She starts showing her true self. She's deeply troubled. That's okay because love
conquerors all! Haha am I right?

I kinda put my life in hold for her. Blah blah blah.

Fast forward.... I now know what , emotional witholding means, I understand what gaslighting is, I understand how a trauma bond feels, i know what it feels like to be in an emotionally abusive relationship e.t.c.

Don't know if she did it consonantly or not, I suppose it doesn't matter, she basically put me through blender.

I'm no longer with her, she's left me beat up and broken. Stepped on my self esteem, dignity and self respect on the way out.


Back to square one. Ground zero. This time I've had my ass kicked for 10 rounds.

Social circle is fuxed. Been away for so long, people have moved on (been trying to build friends and failing).

No job, finding it supidly hard to get hired (I wouldn't hire me) intelligent professional that has huge career gaps, the latest being "he hasn't worked in three years and it's blantenly obviously to all due to laziness". I have side income from property own/rent.

I had a choice work and bank the extra income. I picked live like a poorper and jerk off all day .

You could count my friends on one finger (mabye two).

Things I have going for me. I'm a member of a club/activity (Thursday afternoon and all day sat / sun, I can be busy and social with that ) .

I have a dog that loves me.

All my own teeth.

I'm not ugly haha.

I can be charming and carasmatic (not at the moment though, but it's in there).

I'm very likable. Usually, when I'm not self destructing.

Actually I'm alright at getting women. Which is a blessing and a curse.

Temptation to get my **** wet is real. I've already lined up a few. I want the sex and the destructive reason, I want to feel validated.

Arranged to meet medical professional next week. Unfortunately not for theory (can't afford it ), I'm meeting the pretty women to date and have sex with.

I've also lined up a needy single mum, Validation purposes.

There are others too. All the wrong reasons. It's nearly Christmas and I feel lonely AF. Need a dopomine boost hense throwing myself into these women.

Help a lost soul out.

If you a man are left broken, she did it right abandoning a sunken ship.

Step your game up. Level up. Get on your purpose. Get hotter younger girls. Never let women break you. It's pathetic.

Start lifting. Clean up diet. Meditate. Sleep 8 hrs and busy yourself.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Remember this always.

Nobody can take from you what you haven't freely given them.

Your respect, your self worth...those are things you possess that nobody can take from you unless you allow them to.