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PMS

Loki.7

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I'm starting to notice a pattern in my new girlfriend.

Coming up to the time of the month I start noticing behavioural changes. Nothing too crazy, just becomes withdraw, a little down e.t.c.

Previous girlfriends have mostly been uneffected.

I don't know very little about the cycle and it's effects. Never really had to deal with it.

Looking for someone to explain it to me and how to deal with a PMS girlfriend.

Mainly looking to understand the phases of the typical PMS cycle through behaviour rather than a physical process.
 
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Stuffnu

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it was going to be called MCD or Mad Cow Disease but the term was already taken.

Seriously speaking PMS can vary in severity from girl to girl.
Cramping, headaches, hormonal changes, etc. can cause a great deal of misery. Behavior is tied to the physical.

The solution? Stay away or offer comfort.
 

Loki.7

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I was looking more along the lines of a timetable. Just to work out what's coming and when.

I had a few problems with her around the time the last one hit. 21 days ago is when her mood started to change and she started acting up in the morning (no change in behaviour before this) and she came on later in the day. She went weird for four days, hormonal changes effecting her I'm guessing.

Today she was complaining her boobs were aching and I sense she's started to withdraw. Similar to last time, so wondering if it's going to hit soon.

It's a newish relationship. So just trying to understand her.

Not a red flag (pun intended), I don't mind hormonal mood swings as long as it's delbt with like an adult.
 
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Stuffnu

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Again not all girls are the same. If her cycle is regular and not erratic, it won’t take you too long to figure out. One on my ex’s was a guaranteed “She Devil” between 24 and 28 days. I always found time to be somewhere else.
All you can do is be supportive and not argumentative.

Sore boobs is definitely an indicator of a pending river turning red.
 

lost_blackbird

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In a world where we constantly hear women bleating about all the things they deserve.
PMT/S is definitely one of them. Enjoy ladies, that's just the built up evil clearing out of you.
You've earned it. :up:
 

bat soup

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I'm starting to notice a pattern in my new girlfriend.

Coming up to the time of the month I start noticing behavioural changes. Nothing too crazy, just becomes withdraw, a little down e.t.c.

Previous girlfriends have mostly been uneffected.

I don't know very little about the cycle and it's effects. Never really had to deal with it.

Looking for someone to explain it to me and how to deal with a PMS girlfriend.

Mainly looking to understand the phases of the typical PMS cycle through behaviour rather than a physical process.
This is why women shouldn't be allowed to work as judges. Image that you were in the dock at her time of the month.
 

dude99

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I'm starting to notice a pattern in my new girlfriend.

Coming up to the time of the month I start noticing behavioural changes. Nothing too crazy, just becomes withdraw, a little down e.t.c.

Previous girlfriends have mostly been uneffected.

I don't know very little about the cycle and it's effects. Never really had to deal with it.

Looking for someone to explain it to me and how to deal with a PMS girlfriend.

Mainly looking to understand the phases of the typical PMS cycle through behaviour rather than a physical process.
I had an ex who used PMS as an excuse to become disrespectful biatchy and pick fights over the stupidest things. Her behaviour would become deplorable during the PMS time. It was pretty easy to fix though.

She got dumped.
 

metalwater

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if she becomes bitchy during and around menstruation, it's annoying but not a problem. just be nice and put on a Teflon skin around your emotions. if you get into a long time relationship with her, have her investigate meds from her doc to smooth it out. Basically, make sure she is ok and then go do something else during that time. if she has never had a baby, the first baby will usually smooth it out some.

fourteen days after the first day of bleeding, if she gets bitchy then and around THAT time, then you have a problem. come back and ask questions if that happens.
 

Jor-El

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Welcome to dating! Ha. try lighten the mood by adding an L to the end of PMS ;)
 

Dash Riprock

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I'm starting to notice a pattern in my new girlfriend.

Coming up to the time of the month I start noticing behavioural changes. Nothing too crazy, just becomes withdraw, a little down e.t.c.

Previous girlfriends have mostly been uneffected.

I don't know very little about the cycle and it's effects. Never really had to deal with it.

Looking for someone to explain it to me and how to deal with a PMS girlfriend.

Mainly looking to understand the phases of the typical PMS cycle through behaviour rather than a physical process.
My 9 year ex gf had PMS exactly as you're describing. About a week before her period she'd get very withdrawn, silent, moody, sometimes just mean. She was taking supplements for it when I met her so she knew she had a problem. It sucked, basically 25% of the time we were together she was PMS'ing.

I would just do my own thing during that time and leave her be. If she crossed the line I would calmly say something but starting a fight would be lose-lose.There is literally nothing you can do.

You just need to decide if the 75% of the time she's not having PMS is worth it.

Good luck.
 

Fruitbat

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Most of my LTR have had moderate to severe PMS. Here’s my advice list:

- never forget it’s coming. It’s the times when you’re like “why has she suddenly become an evil basket case?” That it catches you off guard.

- The correct strategy is to avoid any argument and confrontation. You cannot win, you can’t reason with it. Imagine if you were sleep deprived 3 days - that’s the kind of thing you’re dealing with.

- They say never openly say it’s her PMS but I disagree. You don’t have to be all “you’re on your period” every time she gets emotional, but if she starts trying to do stupid self destructive things like quit her job etc then just say “maybe cool down and wait a few days, you’re having a rough time just wait it out”. She will know what you’re saying.

- You can speak about her PMS AFTER. Make a little joke about it but crucially, it sets her up next time to recognise what’s going on and you can say “we spoke about this last month didnt we”? It might snap her out of it long enough not to do crazy shyt.

- Never forget that women have zero perspective on their PMS. It feels Uber real to them at the time and virtually none of them have the self awareness to know what’s up, and most don’t have the humility to admit they have what is basically a personality disorder for 1/4 weeks in the month.

- usually PMS is 2 parts. A really bad spike about 7 days before which cools off, then amother smaller spike just before P day. Recognise you might think it’s fine and then it comes back.

- Accept them for it. You cant make a walrus a lion. The same system which makes her like this is the same system which creates a beautiful new life. Same as our own tests which can make us angry is the same stuff that rescues people from burning buildings and take a bullet for your family. You might wish it was different, but you might as well wish the sky was pink.

- Don’t let it get to you. Never get angry. If anything, chuckle at it. Laugh at her. Maintain frame. They love you for it, because you are showing yourself to be the rock. You are showing in the course of life, you will experience deaths, disaster and famine together and you are man enough to shrug it off and keep going. Women love an emotionally in control man.

- There is a line. If she gets literally abusive or Crazy, now you can spell out why she’s wrong and being unreasonable (mostly, just don’t engage at all, but if it’s getting serious, you have to stand up). Crucially, again, don’t lose your temper. You have to be basically an immovable rock emotionally.

- Provided she’s not being a total b1tch but is just emotional and cranky, go get her something nice or cook her something. Showing a bit of love, whilst not being a doormat, will make your life easier.

women mostly don’t like periods and don’t want to be a d1ck but they are just totally overcome with powerful hormones.

Follow the above man advice and you will weather the storm.

never forget it’s who they are. They are not always sweet. They are emotional. Your job is to remain unmoved, help protect them from themselves and be a god damn man by not taking a thing they say seriously.
 

Fruitbat

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On a side note it's something to bear in mind and not get dragged into a woman's ****e ...

Mindset. "ah she must be on the rag" rather than taking any rudeness etc personally.

Also to bear in mind another reason why en general you can't trust a woman. Who would trust a beast that bleeds for four days and
doesn't die.

Fun to say to a woman who is being a bit of biatch too "ah are you having your period. I understand. It will pass"

I remember an overzelous robocop type security guard in an airport one time. Prick was throwing his weight around and being an unnecasary baboon. He ordered me "take off your shoes" (sorry but there is a way to speak to people)

So I gave him an order back (taste of his own medicine) saying "go get me a chair. I have a bad back" I wasn't bending down to take off my boots. and when he got me the chair "go get me those blue plastic shoes" you could see he was about to blow so I added as he grabbed them..."do my bidding". He literally through the pack of plastic blue shoes in my direction and turned away. Everyone saw it and I remained calm with a self amused smile. His coworker , a female, said to me "what's up with him?" and I said so everyone including him could hear..."I don't know, must be having his period innit" I didn't know if he was going to kill or cry. Poor guy. He actually ran off and came back (as I was collecting my things) with his female boss, stood behind her, while SHE asked me to offer him an apology. Robocop had left the building. I politely declined the offer of giving an apology and walked off to continue my journey.

I will add that the amount of times the female has said "yes" has being surprising.
if this was at an airport I’m surprised you didn’t end up with a cavity search.
 

Zimbabwe

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Are you guys sure it's PMS and not BPD? I know most girls blame their mood swings on "pms" but I've noticed even when it isn't that time of the month they displayed the same crazy mood swing behaviour.

Bi polar disorder is really common among women these days.
 

DonJuanjr

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Are you guys sure it's PMS and not BPD? I know most girls blame their mood swings on "pms" but I've noticed even when it isn't that time of the month they displayed the same crazy mood swing behaviour.

Bi polar disorder is really common among women these days.
BPD is Borderline Personality Disorder. Not bi-polar disorder.
 

Zimbabwe

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BPD is Borderline Personality Disorder. Not bi-polar disorder.
I was under the impression they were the same, but I suppose i should say yeah these women have BPD since a 2003 study found that women's BPD symptoms were predicted by changes in estrogen levels throughout their menstrual cycles, an effect that remained significant when the results were controlled for a general increase in negative affect.
 

Loki.7

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I'm actually away this week. So I was on video call earlier.

She was in he PJ's knitting a blanket, she was kinda grumpy, and acting rebellious in a really funny way. It's obvious she's pms'ing really hard right now.

I knew it was coming (unlike the previous one that caught me off guard).

I'm actually really amused by it. I was ****ing adorable, I laughed so many times.

Yeah so it's been a game changer knowing what to expect and when.
 
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