"I need some time for myself"

[andreihaha]

I was thinking about this, as I was discussing it with some friends. The old line that all of us know, from either or both sides of it.

What does it mean from your experience?

For me, it's just what it is, feeling smothered or actually needing some alone time to do my stuff.
How about you or women you've dated?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I've never once had a woman say that and then end up coming back and sticking around for more than a couple weeks.

I understand how men could be confused about it because we've been in relationships with clingy women who we still like and still want to see, but yet we need more time to ourselves and they want to see us non-stop. The same is not true with women. Men typically need more space than women do, and one of the most critical dynamics in dating is that the woman must want to see the man more than the man wants to see the woman. Reverse that and the woman will run away as fast as she can. So it's ok for you to feel that way as a man but it's completely different if a woman is saying it to you. If you DO say it to a woman, and it's one you care about from a long-term perspective, you should pad it by providing a statement of appreciation so she knows you aren't just getting sick of her. If you hear a woman say that to you, it means one of two things:
1. A wakeup call for you that you've been too needy and/or have not properly calibrated the dynamic so that she is wanting you more than you are wanting her
2. She simply doesn't like you for unknown reasons and is trying to eject the way women eject (covertly). Could be the guy she REALLY wanted came around or there's just something about you she isn't into.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

For me personally, I'm the type of guy where I choose to respond to any amount of resistance at any point; there probably would of been signs of resistance before this point and when you deal with them when they appear, you can usually arrive at this conclusion months faster.

I have found resistance begins to crop up when there is a negative narrative about you through her friends or social circle, or if she is receiving an abundance of attention elsewhere.

Resistance and Rejection are 2 different things, I would view this as resistance, but in the short term this is outright rejection.

 

[Barrister]

“It’s over. Maybe not RIGHT NOW. But wait for me to get something else lined up.”

 

[Barrister]

By the way - the best thing to do in this situation is practice Silence & Distance. Immediately withdraw all attention from her. You can see other women even - in my experience doing this (basically ultimate dread game move) is the only way to regain a hot woman’s attention who is about to dump you.

 

[SW15]

She's not attracted to you and she won't be. Cease all contact with her.

 

[Robert28]

I’ve never gotten that one but I’ve gotten one like it “I don’t want to date anyone right now, I just need to work on myself”. The weird thing is the girl that said it to me claims to have been single for two years. Guess I know why now lol

 

[2Rocky]

When I've been told that, It's never good but I've felt it myself... This explains that feeling perfectly.

 

[Machine10033]

I was thinking about this, as I was discussing it with some friends. The old line that all of us know, from either or both sides of it.

What does it mean from your experience?

For me, it's just what it is, feeling smothered or actually needing some alone time to do my stuff.
How about you or women you've dated?

I’ve used this line. For me it was “ Jesus Christ....your too needy and I want some breathing room so I can slow fade you.... without you going psycho”

 

[jamesfromhouston]

I was thinking about this, as I was discussing it with some friends. The old line that all of us know, from either or both sides of it.

What does it mean from your experience?

For me, it's just what it is, feeling smothered or actually needing some alone time to do my stuff.
How about you or women you've dated?

Received this statement from one of the hottest gf's I ever had. We started out as monkey sex fwbs, got together. I got beta. A year later, she surprised me at work, we chilled in the car. She dropped this line. Instantly at light speed went from hot to cold. Almost like a switch. We were over. I was blindsighted. Still very BP at the time.

 

[IKO69]

Probably screwed up somewhere. Just tell her sure and leave her alone.

 

[Georgepithyou]

By the way - the best thing to do in this situation is practice Silence & Distance. Immediately withdraw all attention from her. You can see other women even - in my experience doing this (basically ultimate dread game move) is the only way to regain a hot woman’s attention who is about to dump you.

This may work in theory, but from my experience it just feels like putting a band-aid on the issue. She may temporarily regain her attraction but it won't be for long.

Received this statement from one of the hottest gf's I ever had. We started out as monkey sex fwbs, got together. I got beta. A year later, she surprised me at work, we chilled in the car. She dropped this line. Instantly at light speed went from hot to cold. Almost like a switch. We were over. I was blindsighted. Still very BP at the time.

It's normal and why i personally avoid clingy women, they always start off hot and treat you like a king. But once they find a shiny new toy to obsesse over, they drop you.

 

[bat soup]

I was thinking about this, as I was discussing it with some friends. The old line that all of us know, from either or both sides of it.

What does it mean from your experience?

For me, it's just what it is, feeling smothered or actually needing some alone time to do my stuff.
How about you or women you've dated?

If a woman says this, she's already cheating.

 

[MatureDJ]

It means "I think I can do better than you, but just in case I'm wrong, I'd like for us to not officially be broken up".

 

[MatureDJ]

If a woman says this, she's already cheating.

I don't think that's quite the case. Indeed, women with a good character would use this line before moving on to try out another man.

 

[MatureDJ]

She's not attracted to you and she won't be.

Well, she's certainly not attracted enough to want to stick around, at least at this moment.

Cease all contact with her.

This is the best course of action; let her go out of her way to rekindle.

 

[andreihaha]

It means "I think I can do better than you, but just in case I'm wrong, I'd like for us to not officially be broken up".

No, actually she was experiencing some sort of depression. Probably caused by the fact that she couldn't change her beliefs for me.
As I stated in another topic, she tried coming with me to church, but she didn't felt anything.
So it looks like it's time for us to part ways...
Yeah, "I need some time" is usually bad, agreed. But she's not necessary cheating or found someone else or doesn't like you. Sometimes they just need some alone time, as we guys do as well.
So for anyone who's gonna experience this in the future, don't jump to conclusions and get butthurt. Be calm but keep in mind things might be going to sh1t.

 

[bat soup]

I don't think that's quite the case. Indeed, women with a good character would use this line before moving on to try out another man.

If they had really good character they'd end the relationship instead of telling you this lie.

 

[metalwater]

I was thinking about this, as I was discussing it with some friends. The old line that all of us know, from either or both sides of it.

What does it mean from your experience?

For me, it's just what it is, feeling smothered or actually needing some alone time to do my stuff.
How about you or women you've dated?

the more common translation is "I need space".

I have identified your replacement, I may or may not have already fckd them but I want that guy and me to have more time and I am more interested in him than you. However, if it doesn't work out it will be nice if you are still willing to be available. Let's not fight, pls be nice and continue to provide whatever you do for me. I will figure this out, mostly it is about if the other guy will commit to me or not.

Andrie, its funny how many RP ideas really play out true. Even if there was nothing to it, and that is unlikely the fact would be that her interest has sunk to a very low spot, and from that spot she is now available to others. It would be nice to have a girl with very high intrest and no comments like this one ever for a very long time.

Your three choices are, #1 Next, #2 Self improvement, #3 you don't want number 3. Not married, no kids go with Next. Do it while you can still make it your move and not forced on you. It's better for your soul if it's you that choose.

 

[MatureDJ]

If they had really good character they'd end the relationship instead of telling you this lie.

But it wouldn't be a lie; it's basically saying that she wants to go into dating limbo for now, but doesn't mind keeping the Beta in waiting.