Poll: is it ok to approach a girl at the gym?

[Chamber36]

To clarify this enigmatic question, this poll is meant to supply us with a general consensus whether it's OK to approach inside a gym.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I don’t but I’ve been approached at gyms before

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I voted yes, because approaches made by certain men will always be welcome.

 

[Old Balls]

I do it and NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER have I been denied a conversation or made a spectacle of. Even went Old Balls deep in a few. I could go into the weeds on why this is but I won't since this isn't the point of the thread.

 

[lost_blackbird]

No I don't think so. Then again I see approaching in general as a bit rapey, even within a relationship if I'm honest.
Just one of the reasons why I don't and won't do it.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

All the women wearing full makeup while they work out would say yes.

Some women don't want to be bothered, at the gym or anywhere else. But that shouldn't mean you don't shoot your shot because plenty of women DO. IMHO from everything I have heard, experienced first-hand, and learned over the years, 98% of women don't mind being approached - but what they mind is how you do it. Feel free to approach without any IOIs, but take the hint quickly if she isn't interested and move on. Don't press it.

 

[Barrister]

I would say yes with the caveat that you should be very selective. The last thing you need is a reputation as the thirsty guy who is constantly trying to get numbers from the female gym-goers there. You will quickly become a hated pariah and will be looking for a new gym. So keep it limited to those who you are very much attracted to.

Another possible strategy is to always play the long game at the gym. Simply approach and be friendly to begin with so they see you aren't immediately going in the for the kill. You can do this with a number of women there.

 

[sangheilios]

I've approached at the gym a handful of times and had some very bad experiences with the women I met, it wasn't the approach itself but the behavior of the women, which I'll get into below.

First, it is fairly easy to spot the women that are looking to be left alone. One thing you might notice is women wearing baseball caps kept really low, so as to avoid any form of eye contact. This is generally a sign that she is not at all there to socialize and is in and out.

Most people wear headphones at the gym so don't take this as a sign that they aren't open to being approached.

As for approaching itself, I've found a couple things can work depending upon your degree of comfort. A simple "Are you using this?" or "Will I be in your way if I'm here?" will get here to respond to you and from there you'd be able to gauge if she is open to talking or not. I actually did this at the gym a few months ago with a woman who was using a platform that I needed and we had a brief banter back and forth, I honestly wasn't interested but in a situation like this it's easy to introduce yourself and build some rapport.

I've also approached directly before where I just walked over and said hi. I think this can work but I personally feel that the above method is better because it's lower stakes and doesn't create a potentially awkward scenario that both parties are put into.

You also need to be aware of any signs of disinterest from women and cut it off quickly, this is just to avoid creating any drama in an environment that you frequent. Something else to be mindful of is attention whoring/being led on, if you pick up on this cut her off immediately and do not at all entertain her. I've had a couple women do this where we exchanged contact info and they agreed to dates, which didn't happen. These women created these awkward scenarios for no reason but in situations like this you need to walk away.

 

[Sam_J]

No I don't think so. Then again I see approaching in general as a bit rapey, even within a relationship if I'm honest.
Just one of the reasons why I don't and won't do it.

Men almost always have to be the ones to initiate approaches, so of course it's not "rapey."
why are you on a forum literally about approaching women then?

 

[Xenom0rph]

In the past I would have been wary about gym approaches. But in today's world with limited social venues available, I would say we gotta let go of social taboos from the pre-COVID era and embrace opportunity wherever we find it.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Men almost always have to be the ones to initiate approaches, so of course it's not "rapey."
why are you on a forum literally about approaching women then?

Never approached a woman in my life. I'm 48. Single digit bodycount. One failed marriage.
Would you like to try and shame me for that as well. Go ahead. That bottle of vodka and
stack of boxes of paracetamol look better and better every day. Go F yourself.

 

[2Rocky]

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/3cli8r
Read the above for "horse's mouth response"

I vote no but if you have to make it in the lobby...

Would you interrupt a cute girl studying in the library? Same rules apply...

 

[Barrister]

Never approached a woman in my life. I'm 48. Single digit bodycount. One failed marriage.
Would you like to try and shame me for that as well. Go ahead. That bottle of vodka and
stack of boxes of paracetamol look better and better every day. Go F yourself.

It was actually a fair question and he wasn't being disrespectful to you with his response. I also have a failed marriage as do countless other people in this world -- so that is no reason for shame. It is probably what is for the best. This forum is here to help men learn to approach (and have sex with) women. Whether you prefer that to be a numbers game vs. an LTR is up to you, but I do think stating that you think any approach of a woman is "rapey" (and even in a relationship? - this I still don't understand) is pretty extreme and unfair to men in general.

 

[lost_blackbird]

I see girls I 'like' all the time. That's where it starts and ends.
FYI I approached my wife for sex maybe 5 times in 18 years together, the rest of the time she did the initiation. Must be my low T huh....

 

[oldmanofthesea]

In the past I would have been wary about gym approaches. But in today's world with limited social venues available, I would say we gotta let go of social taboos from the pre-COVID era and embrace opportunity wherever we find it.

The social taboo of it being wrong to approach female strangers (anywhere or in specific locations) is a farce. I don't mean that as a criticism to you - I myself thought it was wrong and unwanted until I freed myself from that fictitious belief by cold approaching hundreds of women in every imaginable location and scenario, and seeing the results as largely positive. Out of 100 women, maybe 5 just ignored me and kept walking, 1 hissed at me in a foreign language and kept walking, and the other 94 had a conversation with me that ranged from completely disinterested to absolutely magical and electric, filled with sexual energy. Of those 94, I'd say the breakdown was 20 disinterested but mostly polite (aka very short answers, no attempt to engage, not making eye contact), 20 interested and turned into an actual date, and 54 interested but did not turn into a date. I've had weeks where my approach to date ratio was 1:1. But I've had slumps too.

With COVID restrictions easing, people out and about more often, women are hungry and aggressive. I'm getting approached by women MUCH more frequently now than before simply because of this. So get out there and do it.

 

[lost_blackbird]

So get out there and do it.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa. You make it sound like buying a newspaper.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Like anything else regarding approaching women, provided you're not creepy about it or ogling her, go for it. I've had tremendous success approaching women at the gym. It really helps (100x) if you're in great shape and know what you're doing there too.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Do whatever you want. Who cares?

 

[soulforge]

My opening in the gym.

"Hey any idea what the gym WiFi password is" then just start engaging her in conversation