You don't "like" someone after only one or two dates...

[Lookatu]

I'm going to preface this by saying I used to be like this until a couple years ago, so I've been guilty of this as well.

There are so many guys that either get butt hurt for not getting a second date or fall head over heals with deep emotional investment in a girl after only one or two dates.

Guys need to rewire their thinking and thought process on this and it will help them navigate this better next time.

Why does this happen? Majority of guys these days wanna see what they wanna see in girls. They have these fantasies on how they think the girl is based on initial perception. This doesn't mean that's how she really is and rather than spending the time to get to know them and validating the assumptions, they automatically go into dreaming with blinders on. As males, we often default to think in ideals rather than in realism.

Where as females generally are more pragmatic and take their time to actually get to know someone before putting any emotional investment in them. This is the reason why they are better at the initial dating phase than guys IMO.

Coupled to that, with them coming from an abundance mindset vs a lot of guys that live with a scarcity mindset, you can see how this can further have you "liking" someone too prematurely(and/or putting them up on a pedestal).

Guys, you don't truly know a girl other than the fact of how she looks and what's in between her legs after only a date or two. Do not be delusional and do not try to artificially place any emotional investment into someone until you actually get to know them over time which involves their actions(or lack of) and passing YOUR sh1t tests, and qualifying themselves to YOU.

In other words, don't get pvssy whipped, whip that pvssy.

Control what's in your control(being a gentleman, keeping your feelings in check. being realistic, etc) and do not worry about the things you can't control.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Where as females generally are more pragmatic and take their time to actually get to know someone before putting any emotional investment in them. This is the reason why they are better at the initial dating phase than guys IMO.

Ummmm, I only see mostly females running around her looking for the "spark" on first dates or butting heads with Ray Ray and Pookies until they are beyond past the wall with kids out of wedlock and thennn willing to negotiate....Other than that point, I agree with everything else

 

[derby1]

the last 3 women Ive got out, after all the effort it takes, have asked me nothing about me or my daughter.

The irony is they asked for a 2nd 3rd meet, so its nothing to do with interest.

They are in their own universe and not worthy of commitment

 

[BadBoy89]

Where as females generally are more pragmatic and take their time to actually get to know someone before putting any emotional investment in them. This is the reason why they are better at the initial dating phase than guys IMO.

Is there any phase where the guys are better than the girls?

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Feel like this video relates to the topic

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Where as females generally are more pragmatic and take their time to actually get to know someone before putting any emotional investment in them. This is the reason why they are better at the initial dating phase than guys IMO.

A lot of them are really good at feigning emotional investment on dates. Lol.

 

[SW15]

The best way to do first and second dates in this era is to do it as @EyeBRollin does it. Go silent after the date for a week and see which women text you back. Ask those women out again. Assume only that moment of the date and assume you'll never see the other person again. That could lead you to push for more first date sex.

 

[Robert28]

Women suck at dating just as bad as men do. In all honesty, they suck more at it because women tend to follow their tingles wherever they may take them.

 

[Robert28]

It seems so strange/backwards, to me personally (I am a woman. I understand it can be/ is different for men.) that modern society has shifted common expectations/standards for those seeking a relationship, to having sex quickly to start, before people actually get to know one another really. That’s just me.

I also get that men have an exponentially higher drive for sex and are biologically driven to spread their seed. No judgement on that.

I am just not sure what the best set up for all would truly look like. I am sure curious. Any thoughts?

Yeah, quit letting felons, drug addicts, guys with neck and face tats spread their seed. We don’t need those types breeding their screwed up genes.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Women suck at dating just as bad as men do. In all honesty, they suck more at it because women tend to follow their tingles wherever they may take them.

Yeah Idk what op was thinking on that part of his post

 

[BadBoy89]

It seems so strange/backwards, to me personally (I am a woman. I understand it can be/ is different for men.) that modern society has shifted common expectations/standards for those seeking a relationship, to having sex quickly to start, before people actually get to know one another really. That’s just me.

It wasn’t modern society that shifted expectations, it was the feminists that wanted power and the lawmakers gave it to them. Once they got the power, the sexual marketplace is deregulated.

Once the sexual marketplace is deregulated, the man has no incentive, motive, or thought to get to ”know” the woman. He just wants to have sex with her if she’s hot.

Come on dear, you are smart enough. It’s been said a million times here. Girls need alphas to have sex and get pregnant, and need betas to provide.

 

[SirBigBell]

It seems so strange/backwards, to me personally (I am a woman. I understand it can be/ is different for men.) that modern society has shifted common expectations/standards for those seeking a relationship, to having sex quickly to start, before people actually get to know one another really. That’s just me.

I also get that men have an exponentially higher drive for sex and are biologically driven to spread their seed. No judgement on that.

I am just not sure what the best set up for all would truly look like. I am sure curious. Any thoughts?

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex quickly. Its a way of avoiding lifelong disasters. Many men from my father’s generation married very young (early 20s), because premarital sex was taboo. So men married mostly out of horniness dressed up as love. Consequently most ended up stuck in unhappy marriages at a time when divorce was also frowned upon by society. Spending a life of misery because you were pushed into marriage for the pvssy.

When you bust a good nut your head clears and you make better decisions.Lets quickly have sex so we can assess with clear heads if we like each other enough to build a life together. Delaying sex is delaying good decision making

 

[derby1]

Girls need alphas to have sex and get pregnant, and need betas to provide.

girls in the UK are not getting pregnant by anykind of alpha male.

they get pregnant by dossers, with no muscle, who deal a bit of weed

 

[BackInTheGame78]

My favorites are the women who literally are stalking you and reading into every little thing because they assume you are a loser, creep, weirdo or guy with a significant other because that is what they keep meeting.

I'm none of those things and if a woman is going to automatically assume I am until I prove otherwise she can go kick boulders. No time for women who have massive trust issues and feel the need to uncover your life story after 2 dates rather than acting like a normal person and finding it out over time.

 

[Robert28]

My favorites are the women who literally are stalking you and reading into every little thing because they assume you are a loser, creep, weirdo or guy with a significant other because that is what they keep meeting.

I'm none of those things and if a woman is going to automatically assume I am until I prove otherwise she can go kick boulders. No time for women who have massive trust issues and feel the need to uncover your life story after 2 dates rather than acting like a normal person and finding it out over time.

Next time just look these women in the eye and politely and calmly say “you know, it’s not my fault you’re a sh!tty picker when it comes to men. Don’t blame me for your bad decisions in life, you should have learned to respect yourself a long time ago, that’s not my problem. Now, I’m not going to answer anymore of your screening questions because whether I pass or fail your test, truth is you’ll still be attracted to bums.” And then get up and leave.

 

[ubercat]

This is why spinning plates is vital. Abundance and being constantly slightly tired solves any early attachment issues. As chicks love to reschedule just the time management aspect will keep you quite busy.

One weekend I LL never forget I d shagged my 'cant believe it's not a girl friend' arts chick on Friday night, made out with a vietnami chick Saturday ARVO (who started my obsession with rice pie, shagged some crazy Serbian chick Saturday night (and that's all of them) met my Macedonian girl for brunch. Then had a Sunday night date with this Greenie chick who ran an eco center. I think I literally had my head lying on my arm on the table at the café. Never underestimate the ability of women to rewrite reality. This crazy biatch sent me a page long email detailing how I lacked confidence. I m definitely more confident when I m awake

 

[Lookatu]

Yeah Idk what op was thinking on that part of his post

I never said women don't suck at dating but due to their roller coaster and zig zag nature with their emotions and thus leading us on, we allow ourselves to get trapped in it prematurely when we don't even know them. Men need to be cautiously optimistic and manage their expectations accordingly no matter what the girl does in the early stages of dating as it can change anytime. That was my whole point of it.

When you bust a good nut your head clears and you make better decisions. Delaying sex is delaying good decision making

I agree. Guys generally want to get the sex the quickest and worry about being mentally compatible afterwards because it frees their mind to think about the woman in other ways and not have sex cloud their judgement. While women tend to be the opposite. But either way, a good relationship involves both the mental compatibility as well as the sexual compatibility. Both have to be good to be sustainable. It would suck for both parties if they held out for 12 dates before finding out the sexual compatibility just isn't there.

This is why spinning plates is vital. Abundance and being constantly slightly tired solves any early attachment issues.

Agree brotha. Having at least one plate keeps you in check and realistic with your emotions and the situation as well as provide patience on your end helping you make better decisions(as @SirBigBell indicated) since you're already getting sex from another source.

 

[Lookatu]

Is there any phase where the guys are better than the girls?

For most, it's usually after the 2nd round of sex. Guys start thinking more clearly and women start investing more. But then there are also situations where the longer the guy see's a girl, the more content he becomes and let's his guard down or starts compromising too much on things due to the power of the pvssy. Once again, don't get pvssy whooped.

 

[SW15]

It seems so strange/backwards, to me personally (I am a woman. I understand it can be/ is different for men.) that modern society has shifted common expectations/standards for those seeking a relationship, to having sex quickly to start, before people actually get to know one another really. That’s just me.

I also get that men have an exponentially higher drive for sex and are biologically driven to spread their seed. No judgement on that.

I am just not sure what the best set up for all would truly look like. I am sure curious. Any thoughts?

Due to attention spans getting shorter and wanting to prevent flaking, men need to have sex faster than in previous times. The sex is intended as an anti-flaking mechanism. Women have hundreds of text messages from men. The woman is more likely to respond to the text message or phone call of a man that provided her with high quality sex. However, it is difficult to have high quality sex at 10 PM on a Wednesday night after multiple drinks at a bar, a long work day, and a demanding day the next day. It's part of why post-college dating can feel like a real drag because there's less time to focus on dating. If I mess up in college classes, the consequences are less severe than if I mess up at my job.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Due to attention spans getting shorter and wanting to prevent flaking, men need to have sex faster than in previous times. The sex is intended as an anti-flaking mechanism. Women have hundreds of text messages from men. The woman is more likely to respond to the text message or phone call of a man that provided her with high quality sex. However, it is difficult to have high quality sex at 10 PM on a Wednesday night after multiple drinks at a bar, a long work day, and a demanding day the next day. It's part of why post-college dating can feel like a real drag because there's less time to focus on dating. If I mess up in college classes, the consequences are less severe than if I mess up at my job.

Story of my life