Is there anything wrong with seeing escorts?(long, personal story)

[corrector]

I was hoping you'd roll with the joke but I guess you got your serious thinking cap on.

Nice pivot.

 

[Barrister]

As I have said on other posts I have only kissed civvies. My first kiss was back in 2007 with a virgin college aged black girl who was into me. I had intense make out sessions with my ex gf in 2012 and got married in 2014 where lots of making out was involved.

It.gets sick that people have all these twisted assumptions. I am not even making incel threads like either @MatureDJ or @Xenom0rph does.

There is no defination where an incel is just someone who never did anything so get with the times.

Lighten up, brother. You’re constantly spewing negativity on this forum. He’s just playing with you trying to get you to relax a bit.

 

[corrector]

I've tried dating apps and all I was getting from it was either no matches at all or just really unattractive and very overweight women. I've met 2 off of there and they were much bigger than the photos suggested and I was not at all attracted to them.

As for this particular escort, I wouldn't say that I have oneitis but I feel very comfortable with this woman in particular and that I had a good vibe with her. I had looked into this in the past, for similar reasons that I mentioned on this thread, and I always got really bad vibes from these different women.

As for the other vices, I never made any of them habits but I've felt the urge to do so and as I mentioned I was aware enough to cut it off. For instance, back in early February I went to a poker tournament, I genuinely really enjoy it and spending $100 for a few hours of entertainment is not at all bad. However, afterwards I wanted to go back next week and I even said "I'm really well of financially, it isn't that much money" but then I caught this thought right then and there and cut it at it's roots. I've had experiences like this with other things and would have similar thoughts and responses.

The morning after seems to have worked and you have successfully assimilated the experiennce.

 

[Xenom0rph]

Answer: No.

Anybody that thinks banging ho0kers is morally wrong, or men that bang ho0kers are losers have that Bulldyke mindset.... Look up youtuber LooksMaximus if you want to know more about the bulldyke mindset....

Let me give you boyos an example:

Let's say I meet a gal that I'm digging. I call/text her and she doesn't respond... Am i gonna fret about it? Am I gonna make a thread about it on SS asking for clarification..???.... H3ll no, I'm gonna go bang a ho0ker or visit an MP or visit a strip club...

Banging h0okers keeps my thirst in check and preserves my dignity....

I simply refuse to act like a court jester for the entertainment of women in hopes of getting some p0on...

 

[sangheilios]

I only advocate OLD if you're above avg looking for your area. Yes women gravitate towards certain types of guys more than others depending on region. Although I generally advocate OLD, in your case, it seems like it's really messing around with you and bringing you down.

I definitely suggest trying to meet women in real life. Especially now that things are opening up again.

My suggestion of playing the sugar daddy angle could help with introductions and practice interactions with girls. PM me if you want advice or suggestions with this as I have some experience.

I'm in my early 30s, 6'4", white and in fantastic shape, that is not the issue. I've noticed that past 25 there just really isn't much available in my area, and what is available I personally have 0 interest in getting involved with. I live in a metro area with a major university with a lot of out of state and out of country students, once you get past this demographic there really isn't much out there and the quality is low. A man at my age is most likely not going to vibe well with women of this age anyway so I don't even bother.

I've considered doing approaches at the gym, I've made threads about this before, but I've had tons of really bad experiences from that and I'm afraid of going through that again.

 

[Xenom0rph]

As I have said on other posts I have only kissed civvies. My first kiss was back in 2007 with a virgin college aged black girl who was into me. I had intense make out sessions with my ex gf in 2012 and got married in 2014 where lots of making out was involved.

It.gets sick that people have all these twisted assumptions. I am not even making incel threads like either @MatureDJ or @Xenom0rph does.

There is no defination where an incel is just someone who never did anything so get with the times.

I truly hope that guys on here gain wisdom from my posts...

 

[sangheilios]

I'm not sure where you live, but the problem I have with it is that it is illegal to pay for sex in the United States (I don't think it should be, but it is).

I'm in America and in a state where it is in fact illegal. When I went to meet up with this escort for her screening at the coffee shop we were going to sit outside and chat. I intentionally showed up a couple minutes late, so that she'd be sitting outside, and I drove around to scope the area out before parking and sitting down to talk with her. When I met her at her incall I intentionally showed up a couple minutes late, drove past the place where we were supposed to meet a couple times to see if there was anything that looked off. When I went in I had her show me the place and I did not once take any money out until I felt comfortable.

From what I've heard, the issue is when you respond to some ad you see on the internet where you don't even meet or speak with this person and you show up to some random hotel room. This is really common sense if you think about it.

 

[Lookatu]

I'm in my early 30s, 6'4", white and in fantastic shape, that is not the issue.

Exactly brother. Those aren't it.
You need to work on your inner self/personality to balance it out from what I'm guessing.
Since you live in a metro area, I don't really buy the "not enough good looking girls out there" excuse.
Clearly there are other issues at play here. Seek out what those may be and work on them.

If @Hank Moody can get girls in the middle of Idaho, then you should be able to as well in a metro area.

 

[corrector]

Answer: No.

Anybody that thinks banging ho0kers is morally wrong, or men that bang ho0kers are losers have that Bulldyke mindset.... Look up youtuber LooksMaximus if you want to know more about the bulldyke mindset....

Let me give you boyos an example:

Let's say I meet a gal that I'm digging. I call/text her and she doesn't respond... Am i gonna fret about it? Am I gonna make a thread about it on SS asking for clarification..???.... H3ll no, I'm gonna go bang a ho0ker or visit an MP or visit a strip club...

Banging h0okers keeps my thirst in check and preserves my dignity....

I simply refuse to act like a court jester for the entertainment of women in hopes of getting some p0on...

But you wont actually make out with one. You have been able to assimilate them like the OP. You also use expensive high class ones?

 

[Xenom0rph]

There is a bromance.


But you wont actually make out with one. You have been able to assimilate them like the OP. You also use expensive high class ones?

Why would I make out with a ho0ker considering she probably sccked c0ck right before I rolled in...???..

I actually dont even like kissing or making out as i personally consider it kinda unmanly...

No, i dont patron high class expensive escorts. I actually prefer skanky ones - they're more fun...

Edit::: i don't dig the GFE thing, i'm all about raunchy sinful sex and that's about it...

 

[corrector]

Why would I make out with a ho0ker considering she probably sccked c0ck right before I rolled in...???..

I actually dont even like kissing or making out as i personally consider it kinda unmanly...

No, i dont patron high class expensive escorts. I actually prefer skanky ones - they're more fun...

Edit::: i don't dig the GFE thing, i'm all about raunchy sinful sex and that's about it...

The OP has, I just dont get that.

 

[Xenom0rph]

The OP has, I just dont get that.

I can't hate, if guys prefer the GFE and have the money to pay for it, then I hope they enjoy it and get their money's worth....

Myself personally, I cant deal with the fascade of the GFE, I just want that sex so i can check my thirst and get back out there in the real world....

 

[sangheilios]

I can see your point. Indeed that could be really helpful.

To me, OP seems to be very heady. He thinks things through very thoroughly. That has its pluses and minuses. As I recall, he also has very minimal hands on experience (not judging, just stating). I imagine some more actual hands on experience (positive) is what would most help him with this, to get some actual positive momentum and get his ball rolling, so to speak.

I realize right now, I think we are actually saying the same thing, except I saw “behavioral therapy” as potentially possible through some focused and positive escort experiences. I don’t know if that is actually possible. That is what I imagined/hoped for him.

I would spend the money on behavioral therapy to help you work through the negative thinking pattern and adjust your approaches.

I think he is stuck in a loop where he does not feel the need to change, and might think the changes that could be made are impossible to make anyway. He should also do Toastmasters or Dale Carnegie type courses to become more charming and outgoing.

I saw a therapist from 2017 through late 2018 to address some issues I was dealing with pertaining to some traumatic events I had experienced in my late teens and early 20s, which I'm not going to get into on here as it is of no direct relevance. I've always had difficulty with socialization and have a hard time really clicking with most people. I am aware and accepting of the fact that I am very unique compared to most people and that trying to really change my personality or become something that I'm not is simply not possible. The idea of being a poser or acting fake in order to try to fit in or get people to like me does not at all appeal to me. I don't know if it is my area, but some of the most socially popular people in my area that are around my age embody all of these traits but yet they are well liked. There is nothing more pathetic than a fake friend, gold digger, etc. and I've attracted those sorts into my life.

 

[corrector]

Lighten up, brother. You’re constantly spewing negativity on this forum. He’s just playing with you trying to get you to relax a bit.

There is nothing positive about sin.

 

[Bigpapa]

I saw a therapist from 2017 through late 2018 to address some issues I was dealing with pertaining to some traumatic events I had experienced in my late teens and early 20s, which I'm not going to get into on here as it is of no direct relevance. I've always had difficulty with socialization and have a hard time really clicking with most people. I am aware and accepting of the fact that I am very unique compared to most people and that trying to really change my personality or become something that I'm not is simply not possible. The idea of being a poser or acting fake in order to try to fit in or get people to like me does not at all appeal to me. I don't know if it is my area, but some of the most socially popular people in my area that are around my age embody all of these traits but yet they are well liked. There is nothing more pathetic than a fake friend, gold digger, etc. and I've attracted those sorts into my life.

I know your type . Actually you are depressed

saying that you are unique , and then coming up with a story to demonstrate that you are unique is not really what is happening

you are afraid that people will reject you , so this is why you reject them first by saying that you do not like fake people , gold diggers etc

You have low self esteem , and people can sense that and this is why women do not find you attractive

I bet 100 dollars with you that I have a more traumatic childhood than you , but I still managed to turn out ok . Mainly it was my mindset “ this world is my playground , so I will do what I want when I want “

this mindset put me in a lot of trouble with the law till mid 20s , but girls just liked it

 

[corrector]

I saw a therapist from 2017 through late 2018 to address some issues I was dealing with pertaining to some traumatic events I had experienced in my late teens and early 20s, which I'm not going to get into on here as it is of no direct relevance. I've always had difficulty with socialization and have a hard time really clicking with most people. I am aware and accepting of the fact that I am very unique compared to most people and that trying to really change my personality or become something that I'm not is simply not possible. The idea of being a poser or acting fake in order to try to fit in or get people to like me does not at all appeal to me. I don't know if it is my area, but some of the most socially popular people in my area that are around my age embody all of these traits but yet they are well liked. There is nothing more pathetic than a fake friend, gold digger, etc. and I've attracted those sorts into my life.

Only Jesus can understand us.

 

[sangheilios]

@Bigpapa @LARaiders85 @Lookatu @LiveYourDream

The purpose of hiring this particular escort was to just give me a morale boost and get some positive momentum. Last year after I saw this woman I was approaching without even thinking and the interactions I had lasted far longer and I felt more confident, though as I said COVID hit very shortly after. This was more or less the same plan I had this year and things in my state are very recently slowing starting to become more normal, which was why I had reached out in the first place. This particular escort has a college degree and has a 9-5 job, and as I also mentioned she does go to social events, etc. When I interact with her you can tell she is educated and knows how to speak/interact with men in a non awkward manner, which was one of the reasons why I had decided to follow through with her in the first place. In the past I had looked into this and had contacted other female escorts but even through just interactions with text messages I felt a very bad vibe from their end and decided not to pursue anything with them.

@Lookatu Going back to your sugar daddy comment that you left on my thread. A while back I actually considered looking into essentially hiring women to just go out on dates with me, it wasn't even related to anything sexual but just to gain some social experience around women. I had a very unusual/abnormal experience growing up and through my teenage years and early 20s, which ultimately left me extremely socially stunted, especially in regards to interacting with the opposite sex. I've had a handful of sexual experiences and had dates but it takes a lot of effort on my end to make anything related to that even happen.

I've also had a ton of horrendous experiences with my approaches and interactions with women and it's gotten to the point where I can now admit I am afraid of them. I'm not afraid of them specifically but what they can do to me and I seem to auto reject in situations where I might actually be able to do well. I feel one of the biggest issues I've had is that I've had such an overwhelming degree of negative experiences that it's easier to just avoid it all together and focus on the things I'm good at (investment, finances, working out, etc.).

For instance, there is this blonde that I see at the gym almost every single day that I am there, she is around 22-24 and I would honestly rate her an 8 or 9. This has been going on for about a month, but every time I'm there she makes an effort to go out of her way to make extended eye contact with me or create proximity. Last week I was walking into the gym and by chance she was ahead of me, she holds the door for me and locks eyes with me and doesn't look away, it made me uncomfortable and I didn't say or do anything. Earlier on Monday I was there and something similar happened, except this time I was in the warmup area before going to do my full workout. This freaks me out and makes me feel uncomfortable because while I do find her attractive I start thinking about all these bad experiences I've had and I just avoid it. I logically am aware of the fact that a woman would be attracted to a man who is 6'4" and athletically built like a rugby player but it's not enough for me to overcome these fears.

I've had a lot of experiences that play out like that above.

 

[Baibars]

I don’t think it’s wrong for everybody but it’s not healthy if you don’t have other options. I’m in the same situation and I went to a few hookers but it’s just so obvious that they don’t have genuine desire for you. These girls are more opportunistic than the average girl ( who is already opportunistic af ).
I couldn’t even perform with these girls because i felt undesired and uncomfortable which revealed me a Problem I have mentally.

i wanted to be genuinely desired and validated by a girl and I think if you’re lacking that, it’s not a good idea to visit hookers because these women can’t fill this void. You can go to hookers if you already feel good and validated and then you will just have fun.That’s the purpose of these hookers.
If you feel good about yourself, have options and just need a quicky with a hot girl.. why not? But for guys like me and you, I don’t think that it’s good and that’s what I experienced.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I don't see anything wrong with it per se but I just don't buy your notion that you are failing so badly with women and it isn't your fault if you are as good looking and built as you claim. The more desirable you are looks wise the more you have to do to push these women away. So I still maintain there is something very off with your interactions with these women but you don't seem willing to acknowledge or explorel.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don’t think it’s wrong for everybody but it’s not healthy if you don’t have other options. I’m in the same situation and I went to a few hookers but it’s just so obvious that they don’t have genuine desire for you. These girls are more opportunistic than the average girl ( who is already opportunistic af ).
I couldn’t even perform with these girls because i felt undesired and uncomfortable which revealed me a Problem I have mentally.

i wanted to be genuinely desired and validated by a girl and I think if you’re lacking that, it’s not a good idea to visit hookers because these women can’t fill this void. You can go to hookers if you already feel good and validated and then you will just have fun.That’s the purpose of these hookers.
If you feel good about yourself, have options and just need a quicky with a hot girl.. why not? But for guys like me and you, I don’t think that it’s good and that’s what I experienced.

I agree desire cannot be bought. You also see that its important that the female really likes you a desires you. Seeing the hooker very occasionally can get your wheels moving, as you are taking action on your sex life situation. But to use them too often while you don't have a real sex life will make you feel like you can't get it without paying. You will feel WORSE. Which is not going to help. You currently have a social life issue which has a side effect of a poor sex life.

Most guys pay for sex whether it's directly through an escort, or indirectly through paying for dates and upfront investment in the hopes that it will lead to sex.

The issue with all of this is it puts guys in a transactional sex mindset and they start to believe that the only way to get laid is through paying for it.

The best sex is when a woman is highly attracted to you. A highly attracted woman will fvck you for free, and she will orgasm while doing it.

I don't agree that the man ALWAYS pay. In many situations the female "pays". He is a man she desires to have sex with, and she makes it happen.