She might not make the cut.

[TheNewStyle123]

Hello gentlemen,

I matched with a girl on the OLD apps 2 weeks ago. She goes to my gym and began talking to me on the app, gave me her number, etc. We went on a first date, great conversation, kino, making out, etc. She has been texting me pretty consistently over the past two weeks and would often make remarks "you're the most handsome guy in the gym, I'm flattered you are talking to me, etc, etc." She's a solid 8.5, instagram chick with a ton of followers, online personal trainer.. you know the type. But, she is also pretty sarcastic. It was kind of cute on our first date, but recently she has been more short with texting, less compliments/flirty banter, and more sarcasm.

We were supposed to meet up last Saturday and she texted me in the AM (I wrote this in a previous post) that she hopes she can make it later but she is feeling sick. "Lady problems, not hungover hahah."

I told her to just stay in and rest and not worry about coming over. A few days later I texted her to reschedule for this Saturday. Since then I have seen her in the gym and conversation has been like normal. But again, as mentioned above, she is acting more like a brat than anything this week.

Have you guys ran into this problem with a women you are trying to make a plate, and do you abandon ship? It's just kind of off putting to me at this point. It doesn't really seem like she is even that interested in coming over. The plan was that I would cook dinner and she would make the drinks. She has just been complaining and whining since then about the fact that she is not good at mixing drinks, etc. Sure, she's buying/bringing the alcohol, but honestly, I have a few other girls that I would like to try to have over Saturday rather than her. My plan is to message of few of the girls on the OLD apps asking about Saturday and if one accepts, just cancel on this whiney chick tomorrow or Sat morning. Who cares if I see her in the gym again.

 

[Gstring]

You don't have to cancel on her, cuz she sounds like a flake. Come up with something, so that if this one doesn't show up, the other one will. Also, check out this literature, something makes me believe they are now using game, widespread.

 

[Black Widow Void]

You need to beat her at her own game.
"hey, I know that I'd left Saturday open for you, but I'm going to have to renege. I realize that we both keep busy schedules, and maybe some other time."

Although you may see this as shooting yourself in the foot, I'm thinking that if she actually followed through on the date that you'd be setting yourself up for disappointment. She sounds like she's too self-assured and you probably wouldn't have a good time. If she planned on bailing, you have beat her to the punch.

I'm wondering if in some way, you've taken a blind eye to her arrogant/flighty behavior and as a result, she's turned it up a few more notches. If you cancel on her, this will take away some of her power. If a date never occurs, you've walked away with some dignity. If a date does later occur, you've now leveled the playing field much better.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

You need to beat her at her own game.
"hey, I know that I'd left Saturday open for you, but I'm going to have to renege. I realize that we both keep busy schedules, and maybe some other time."

Although you may see this as shooting yourself in the foot, I'm thinking that if she actually followed through on the date that you'd be setting yourself up for disappointment. She sounds like she's too self-assured and you probably wouldn't have a good time. If she planned on bailing, you have beat her to the punch.

I'm wondering if in some way, you've taken a blind eye to her arrogant/flighty behavior and as a result, she's turned it up a few more notches. If you cancel on her, this will take away some of her power. If a date never occurs, you've walked away with some dignity. If a date does later occur, you've now leveled the playing field much better.

Bingo. Good advice man thank you. I am going to text her at some point tonight and do just that.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Her IL simply isn’t high enough. Therefore she is disposable. A woman who is interested always makes it easy for you.

Look how frustrated this whole thing makes you. She’s living rent-free inside your mind, so-to-speak. A man should never be ruminating about any specific woman.

She sounds like she has a very annoying personality, and it sounds like you agree with that assessment. Is all this really worth it?

 

[Lookatu]

We went on a first date, great conversation, kino, making out, etc.

She has been texting me pretty consistently over the past two weeks and would often make remarks "you're the most handsome guy in the gym, I'm flattered you are talking to me, etc, etc." She's a solid 8.5, instagram chick with a ton of followers, online personal trainer..

Here's my take on it. If she really is a 8.5, you should've moved faster from date 1 to the next date. 2 weeks is too long for a second date IMO. The hot ones usually have so many other options waiting in the wings if a better option came up, you're toast unfortunately. The saying "strike while the iron's hot" does hold validity in this case.

Also know these gals can do all of that(great conversation, kino, making out, etc) with many guys at the same time so just because you think a date went well doesn't really mean squat. To them kissing and making out is par for the course and is on the same level as even a handshake sometime. In this regard, you could just be in a sea of many to them. My $.02

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Her IL simply isn’t high enough. Therefore she is disposable. A woman who is interested always makes it easy for you.

Look how frustrated this whole thing makes you. She’s living rent-free inside your mind, so-to-speak. A man should never be ruminating about any specific woman.

She sounds like she has a very annoying personality, and it sounds like you agree with that assessment. Is all this really worth it?

You're right man. Not worth it. I texted her "Hey ___, I'm going to have to cancel for tomorrow night. Something came up, but maybe some other time!" She replied "Awww you're totally fine! I hope everything is okay!" Essentially I was turned off by her personality for the past week or so. A plate I have coming over tonight is the total opposite. 7.5, super sweet, and is even picking us up dinner and drinks. Honestly, as I write this, f!ck this girl hahah. Tonight is going to be way more fun with this one anyways. Thanks for the advice bud.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Here's my take on it. If she really is a 8.5, you should've moved faster from date 1 to the next date. 2 weeks is too long for a second date IMO. The hot ones usually have so many other options waiting in the wings if a better option came up, you're toast unfortunately. The saying "strike while the iron's hot" does hold validity in this case.

Also know these gals can do all of that(great conversation, kino, making out, etc) with many guys at the same time so just because you think a date went well doesn't really mean squat. To them kissing and making out is par for the course and is on the same level as even a handshake sometime. In this regard, you could just be in a sea of many to them. My $.02

Yeah man for sure, that makes a lot of sense. I'm sure between her instagram and hinge she is getting tons of messages a day. Something for me to be aware of in the future to strike while the iron is hot. Thanks buddy!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You're right man. Not worth it. I texted her "Hey ___, I'm going to have to cancel for tomorrow night. Something came up, but maybe some other time!" She replied "Awww you're totally fine! I hope everything is okay!" Essentially I was turned off by her personality for the past week or so. A plate I have coming over tonight is the total opposite. 7.5, super sweet, and is even picking us up dinner and drinks. Honestly, as I write this, f!ck this girl hahah. Tonight is going to be way more fun with this one anyways. Thanks for the advice bud.

About as clear as you can get from her letting you know she has no interest.

 

[YouSpitToMe]

Say no to "OLD". Next.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Say no to "OLD". Next.

Why?

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Say no to "OLD". Next.

Why?

I agree, why? I've had good success with OLD so far. Trying to work on day game too of course.

 

[Glassguy]

You need to beat her at her own game.
"hey, I know that I'd left Saturday open for you, but I'm going to have to renege. I realize that we both keep busy schedules, and maybe some other time."

Although you may see this as shooting yourself in the foot, I'm thinking that if she actually followed through on the date that you'd be setting yourself up for disappointment. She sounds like she's too self-assured and you probably wouldn't have a good time. If she planned on bailing, you have beat her to the punch.

I'm wondering if in some way, you've taken a blind eye to her arrogant/flighty behavior and as a result, she's turned it up a few more notches. If you cancel on her, this will take away some of her power. If a date never occurs, you've walked away with some dignity. If a date does later occur, you've now leveled the playing field much better.

I agree. There was a thread last week about flaking/canceling on a woman. This situation is the perfect time. If her interest level was not high enough to follow through with showing up for a date, this could raise it. Its perfect for a woman who might see herself as a little above you on the food chain. Also, it creates a little dread game and makes her re-evaluate her behavior (if she REALLY wants to go out with OP).

Its a win win situation if you think longer term than just the night of the "date".

 

[Glassguy]

You're right man. Not worth it. I texted her "Hey ___, I'm going to have to cancel for tomorrow night. Something came up, but maybe some other time!" She replied "Awww you're totally fine! I hope everything is okay!" Essentially I was turned off by her personality for the past week or so. A plate I have coming over tonight is the total opposite. 7.5, super sweet, and is even picking us up dinner and drinks. Honestly, as I write this, f!ck this girl hahah. Tonight is going to be way more fun with this one anyways. Thanks for the advice bud.

She may hit you up after not hearing from you in a few days. If she does, slow play it and be damn sure to take your sweet time responding to her future texts.

 

[Bigpapa]

About as clear as you can get from her letting you know she has no interest.

women always try to look super cool and in control . Her saying that does not mean anything

what Went wrong mainly is that the op waited too much time for the 2nd date , as @Lookatu mentioned

 

[Bigpapa]

She may hit you up after not hearing from you in a few days. If she does, slow play it and be damn sure to take your sweet time responding to her future texts.

she might also be in auto rejection , because the op waited too long for the 2nd date , and slow playing it will only make him shoot himself in the foot

 

[Glassguy]

she might also be in auto rejection , because the op waited too long for the 2nd date , and slow playing it will only make him shoot himself in the foot

Could be. Hard to tell based on little information

 

[Glassguy]

she might also be in auto rejection , because the op waited too long for the 2nd date , and slow playing it will only make him shoot himself in the foot

But women need to shyte or get off the pot. I don't have time for fvcking games. Its either a date and she starts showing some initiative of bounce out.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

she might also be in auto rejection , because the op waited too long for the 2nd date , and slow playing it will only make him shoot himself in the foot

I have found there is usually a happy medium or sweet spot with asking them on a second date....too soon after the first one and you come off as over eager. Too long after and you come off as not interested enough or only interested if other people cancel.

 

[rjc149]

1 week intervals is a good golden rule.

Date was on Friday, wait until next Thursday mid-afternoon to set date 2 for the weekend.

If there was making out/hooking up on the 1st date you can wait until Wednesday to set the next date -- if a woman is into you and some form of sexual contact occurred on the 1st date, but she feels like now you're playing games, she'll often auto-reject. So, communicate a little sooner.

But generally speaking, 1 date per weekend, each weekend, unless schedules dictate otherwise or she wants to see you sooner.