Destructive Habits when falling for someone

[B80]

Evening all,

Feel like a a an absolute prick right now... Time of the month.

Was in 12 year relationship, which ended 3 years ago, been seeing some last few months, past couple of weeks it's escalated, we see each other almost every night. Everything is great: sex, banter, conversation, connection etc.

Issue is I find d myself caring less and less about past life, including my 4 year old daughter. Honestly, right now tempted to just blow my brains out, I feel like such a ****.

Old demons like alcoholol rearing it's head again.

I know what the right thing to do is, it's pathetic I know.

Anyone else been in simar situation?

 

[Black Widow Void]

I don't consider myself qualified with any similar past experiences to help. However, I'll share the closest analogy I can come up with.

When in my youth, a neighborhood friend grew up with very strict parents. He was never able to go out and enjoy life like most teenagers. After going away to college (and he was a decent student with good grades) he flunked out. He enjoyed this new freedom so much that he made up for all the partying that he missed. He then had to move back home and go to the local college in town. Most of his friends were away for college.

Basically, he was miserable at home and wanted to lose himself and try to reclaim his past while in college. As you can see from his story, he went into "excess" mode and it backfired. Maybe there's been a story like this... previously in your life - to which can offer you a frame of reference toward your current situation.

Wish you the best of luck.

 

[rjc149]

Issue is I find d myself caring less and less about past life, including my 4 year old daughter. Honestly, right now tempted to just blow my brains out, I feel like such a ****.

Can you elaborate on the connection between caring less about your past life, and the suicidal ideation? Do you feel guilty, or..?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Evening all,

Feel like a a an absolute prick right now... Time of the month.

Was in 12 year relationship, which ended 3 years ago, been seeing some last few months, past couple of weeks it's escalated, we see each other almost every night. Everything is great: sex, banter, conversation, connection etc.

Issue is I find d myself caring less and less about past life, including my 4 year old daughter. Honestly, right now tempted to just blow my brains out, I feel like such a ****.

Old demons like alcoholol rearing it's head again.

I know what the right thing to do is, it's pathetic I know.

Anyone else been in simar situation?

Get some professional help. Your daughter deserves better than this.

 

[B80]

.thanks for the responses. sorry for dramatic comments in post. drunk almost a litre of vodka last night. last night was the first time i've ever felt that way. time to grow up. embarrassing to say the least.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

.thanks for the responses. sorry for dramatic comments in post. drunk almost a litre of vodka last night. last night was the first time i've ever felt that way. time to grow up. embarrassing to say the least.

Drink is making it worse

 

[B80]

on thursday my ex said my daughter was feeling sensitive and didn't want to see me. first time that's happened in 3 years since split. suspect its down to her splitting with man she's been seeing for 2 years and her getting funny about me starting to see someone at almost the exact same time split.

don't feel remotely suicidal now, shameful really. i'll never let my daughter down, not sure wtf I was thinking.

funny how some women have double standards, in full lockodwn last year she had no issues with her boyfriend meeting his extended family, personal training people, now she's saying it's unnecessary risk me forming support bubble with girl I'm seeing, even though she sees no one else outside of that and its within government rules. my ex has good career, program director so not like she's dumb. wonder how they conjure up this kind of selective thinking. overall it's been an amicable breakup, no solicitors involved, cost less than 1k to finalize divorce and everything around it.

 

[corrector]

on thursday my ex said my daughter was feeling sensitive and didn't want to see me. first time that's happened in 3 years since split. suspect its down to her splitting with man she's been seeing for 2 years and her getting funny about me starting to see someone at almost the exact same time split.

don't feel remotely suicidal now, shameful really. i'll never let my daughter down, not sure wtf I was thinking.

I get how that could feel. The worst part of my divorce was my step-daughter was also gone and the impact this could have had on the child. This helped sink my mind. This happened after visiting an escort. When this whole thing sunk in it was really bad at the time. It is not nice to feel like the bad guy with a daughter.

 

[B80]

I get how that could feel. The worst part of my divorce was my step-daughter was also gone and the impact this could have had on the child. This helped sink my mind. This happened after visiting an escort. When this whole thing sunk in it was really bad at the time. It is not nice to feel like the bad guy with a daughter.

yeah can imagine thats tough mate and shows you're a good man to be concerned about step daughter like that. my daughter was upset about not seeing my exes boyfriend again, cried a few times about it with me. felt so upset and angry at the same time. especially when she said he won't be coming back as he did horrible things to mummy. I approached her mum about it and her response was something like, I didn't know what else to say as she kept asking why he won;t be coming back.

I mean wtf, who says that to a 4 year old child. as if she hasn't been given a sh1tty start to life already because her mum was bored.

 

[B80]

I don't consider myself qualified with any similar past experiences to help. However, I'll share the closest analogy I can come up with.

When in my youth, a neighborhood friend grew up with very strict parents. He was never able to go out and enjoy life like most teenagers. After going away to college (and he was a decent student with good grades) he flunked out. He enjoyed this new freedom so much that he made up for all the partying that he missed. He then had to move back home and go to the local college in town. Most of his friends were away for college.

Basically, he was miserable at home and wanted to lose himself and try to reclaim his past while in college. As you can see from his story, he went into "excess" mode and it backfired. Maybe there's been a story like this... previously in your life - to which can offer you a frame of reference toward your current situation.

Wish you the best of luck.tin

interestingly I was quite shy, sheltered, into video games during my teens, then went off the rails in my 20's. drinking heavily most weekends, then cocaine every weekend for a few years, before meeting my now ex and not touching almost anything for 10 years.

massively addictive personality, which is no excuse, particularly as I'm aware of it. started drinking more frequently since seeing new girl, need to reign it in, which I will as its getting worse and not a lot of good will come from it.

one things for certain i'll do whatever I need to for my daughter. i'll spend 6 figures on legal fees if I have to, not because I want to win a battle with the ex, but I know it's in the best interests of my daughter to have her dad in her life. i'd stand aside if that what was I felt was best, which it certainly isn't.