Sexual tension between new partner and her friend

[Avocadow]

What do you do if you perceive there is sexual tension between woman you are dating and her male flatmate?

How do you know that is the case or just own fears projecting ?

 

[Black Widow Void]

Not knowing you or witnessing the situation, this would be difficult to conclude.

Here are some things to consider:

Before meeting him (but knowing that she had a male roommate) did this make you feel uneasy or slightly insecure? I ask because this might lead to projecting. Speaking of "projecting"... have you had a male/female living situation that evolved into something sexual?

If you are clear on the above, then it's possible that your hunch may be more probable.

Assuming that you've slept with her at her place, how does he react around you after the deed? This might also provide a clue.

 

[Avocadow]

Not knowing you or witnessing the situation, this would be difficult to conclude.

Here are some things to consider:

Before meeting him (but knowing that she had a male roommate) did this make you feel uneasy or slightly insecure? I ask because this might lead to projecting. Speaking of "projecting"... have you had a male/female living situation that evolved into something sexual?

If you are clear on the above, then it's possible that your hunch may be more probable.

Assuming that you've slept with her at her place, how does he react around you after the deed? This might also provide a clue.

I have had situations when my gut feeling was correct although never before in that context.

He acts politely although never initiates conversation with me. Their connection felt effortless and happy by comparison.

 

[Avocadow]

Remain emotionally distant until the situation improves

Sounds right thank you. Bit tricky during these festivities but will slow my interest down.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I have had situations when my gut feeling was correct although never before in that context.
He acts politely although never initiates conversation with me. Their connection felt effortless and happy by comparison.

This one seems a bit tough to crack. Though quite different, I'll share the closest similar experience that I encountered.
When I first started dating a particular girl, she had an incredible bond with this gay guy. In my company, he'd tell "inside jokes" (something or someone they knew about, but I didn't). He could get her to laugh a lot and like yourself, this guy never initiated conversation with me. Although the guy was 100% gay, these two did act like they could have been in some relationship. There were times that I felt like a "third wheel" and I suspect that you know what I'm saying.

Eventually, I did end up taking this girl's virginity. And while, this might seem to suggest that the above was all in my head, it wasn't. I suspect that the gay guy was jealous of me occupying her time. Perhaps in his eyes, I was taking away his friend. She probably didn't think much of it because.. he was after all, gay.

Although the above may not seem to apply to your situation, maybe it does. Could it be that the roommate does like her, but like the gay guy I mentioned above, it's a situation that is just not going to happen. Could be that he's jealous and attempting some sort of "wedge" between you and your girl. And your girl might enjoy the attention from him... but doesn't consider this threatening at all.

Again, I don't know your situation, but the above might be another example to consider.

---- Also, look around the apartment. Who owns most of the furniture? Was it originally his place? I knew a guy that let a girl stay at his place because he liked her and he hoped she'd come around to liking him. He went out of his way to make her feel comfortable (he paid more than half of the expenses). She was fine with this arrangement, and it never went beyond roommate and friendship.

 

[Bigpapa]

This one seems a bit tough to crack. Though quite different, I'll share the closest similar experience that I encountered.
When I first started dating a particular girl, she had an incredible bond with this gay guy. In my company, he'd tell "inside jokes" (something or someone they knew about, but I didn't). He could get her to laugh a lot and like yourself, this guy never initiated conversation with me. Although the guy was 100% gay, these two did act like they could have been in some relationship. There were times that I felt like a "third wheel" and I suspect that you know what I'm saying.

Eventually, I did end up taking this girl's virginity. And while, this might seem to suggest that the above was all in my head, it wasn't. I suspect that the gay guy was jealous of me occupying her time. Perhaps in his eyes, I was taking away his friend. She probably didn't think much of it because.. he was after all, gay.

Although the above may not seem to apply to your situation, maybe it does. Could it be that the roommate does like her, but like the gay guy I mentioned above, it's a situation that is just not going to happen. Could be that he's jealous and attempting some sort of "wedge" between you and your girl. And your girl might enjoy the attention from him... but doesn't consider this threatening at all.

Again, I don't know your situation, but the above might be another example to consider.

---- Also, look around the apartment. Who owns most of the furniture? Was it originally his place? I knew a guy that let a girl stay at his place because he liked her and he hoped she'd come around to liking him. He went out of his way to make her feel comfortable (he paid more than half of the expenses). She was fine with this arrangement, and it never went beyond roommate and friendship.

If her roommate is a heterosexual it is very likely that he likes her and secretly hopes he will get her , otherwise he would not have accepted to stay with her in the first place

I had opportunities to share apartments with girls but I never went with it because it just felt wired to have a woman around in my home that I have no business with

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Sounds right thank you. Bit tricky during these festivities but will slow my interest down.

If you’ve been dating for only a short period of time, then this is the wrong move. Not that I’m sure there’s a “right” one anyway...

But as to your question—always trust your gut instinct. It’s always right. Well, at least 99.999% of the time.

 

[Desdinova]

What do you do if you perceive there is sexual tension between woman you are dating and her male flatmate?

Well... She has a male flatmate. That's enough reason for sexual tension right there. Make sure you're fvcking at least two other women to keep your own mind occupied.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

What do you do if you perceive there is sexual tension between woman you are dating and her male flatmate?

How do you know that is the case or just own fears projecting ?

You don't have exclusive ltr with said girl.