How to cure oneitis?

[forcerecon01]

Hi fellow don juans. I think I may have oneitis from a few women. How do you get rid of it? Do I need to just get up and go for a long jog and clear my mind? Do I lack confidence I can't find happiness from something else?

 

[TheProspect]

In my experience, which some may relate to, I usually develop onenitis for a woman because of one or more of the following reasons:

1: a Blue Pill idea of love
2: a conscious or unconscious desire to fill a void in my life
3: lack of options

Which in turn cause me to pedestalize the woman and create an idealized version of her in my mind that I obsess over.

Usually while I'm in that obsession I'm too emotionally compromised to actually work through my onenitis with that particular woman. In other words, I consider any further dealings with her as detrimental, as the obsession will cause me to ignore or minimize her red flags.

In terms of a solution, in my opinion, I'd rather detach at that point from the object of my onenitis (go no contact with the chick I'm obsessing over) in order to give myself the time, space, & perspective needed to identify the cause of it...

As I mentioned, it's usually one of the 3 reasons I listed above. In my case, it's usually reason #2 or #3 (which are often tied together). #2 because I'm off my purpose & have no goals I'm working towards, and #3 because I am desperate at that point in time and get attached to the first girl I can. A solution for me in those scenarios in a nutshell would be for #2 to take some time to figure my sh!t out and work on myself, and for #3 talk to more women and spin more plates.

Of course this is easier said than done, but if I were in your shoes, I would go no contact and figure out what is causing me to obsess over a particular woman and go from there.

 

[forcerecon01]

In my experience, which some may relate to, I usually develop onenitis for a woman because of one or more of the following reasons:

1: a Blue Pill idea of love
2: a conscious or unconscious desire to fill a void in my life
3: lack of options

Which in turn cause me to pedestalize the woman and create an idealized version of her in my mind that I obsess over.

Usually while I'm in that obsession I'm too emotionally compromised to actually work through my onenitis with that particular woman. In other words, I consider any further dealings with her as detrimental, as the obsession will cause me to ignore or minimize her red flags.

In terms of a solution, in my opinion, I'd rather detach at that point from the object of my onenitis (go no contact with the chick I'm obsessing over) in order to give myself the time, space, & perspective needed to identify the cause of it...

As I mentioned, it's usually one of the 3 reasons I listed above. In my case, it's usually reason #2 or #3 (which are usually tied together). #2 because I'm off my purpose & have no goals I'm working towards, and #3 because I am desperate at that point in time and get attached to the first girl I can. A solution for me in those scenarios in a nutshell would be for #2 to take some time to figure my sh!t out and work on myself, and for #3 talk to more women and spin more plates.

Of course this is easier said than done, but if I were in your shoes, I would go no contact and figure out what is causing me to obsess over a particular woman and go from there.

Mine is 2 and 3 also. Wow. I think I need to talk to more girls. I also need to work on myself like you said too. Thanks

 

[forcerecon01]

There are 2 forms of Oneitis:

First form of Oneitis - If you have Oneitis for a woman you haven't been intimate with yet (like a girl from the office), then this is a very romantic, idealistic, bluepill mindset that needs to be checked. It's okay to lust after a woman, but developing Oneitis to the point of depression for a woman you haven't been intimate with yet is schoolboy stuff. This is cured by maturity, life experience, abundance and understanding female nature better.

Second form of Oneitis - LTR Oneitis. This is natural. You get into a relationship with a woman, you invest in her, you lose abundance and fall into scarcity. She then has a lot of power over you and this can make some men very unhappy, especially if she starts withdrawing affection and intimacy. This type of LTR-Oneitis is a natural Oneitis that nature has created to ensure you stick around and raise the kids. To avoid this form of Oneitis then you don't get into LTR's and invest heavily in one woman. You stay a playboy forever, or build a harem.

I personally advocate entering LTR's from a RedPill mindset. This is RedPill or hardmode, but can be done with awareness and proper relationship management.

I have oneitis from chicks back in highschool. I see them on facebook and it only makes it worse. I live in a big city with lots of girls and I'm hung over chicks from over 20 years ago . Something is wrong. I don't like having oneitis but I don't know the root cause.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have oneitis from chicks back in highschool. I see them on facebook and it only makes it worse. I live in a big city with lots of girls and I'm hung over chicks from over 20 years ago . Something is wrong. I don't like having oneitis but I don't know the root cause.

Imagine if one of those oneitis came back into your life with your life going full and your successful and demolishing it. They do rappers like this all the time. The same ladies who never desired them all of a sudden find interest when he gets $ and fame, but he FORGOT, she doesn't like HIM...

 

[forcerecon01]

Imagine if one of those oneitis came back into your life with your life going full and your successful and demolishing it. They do rappers like this all the time. The same ladies who never desired them all of a sudden find interest when he gets $ and fame, but he FORGOT, she doesn't like HIM...

thats true too. Why give them the power anyhow? Dismiss them like they dismiss me.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

thats true too. Why give them the power anyhow? Dismiss them like they dismiss me.

They come to sniff around. Then they want to do a bunch of detective work to figure out how you got so big. Like rats, they will go trying to "unravel" the details that make you who you are. Very normal situation.


Pumping and dumping and keeping the mouth shut and only revealing what your willing to show is fine. Just remember they NEVER did like you.

 

[forcerecon01]

They come to sniff around. Then they want to do a bunch of detective work to figure out how you got so big. Like rats, they will go trying to "unravel" the details that make you who you are. Very normal situation.


Pumping and dumping and keeping the mouth shut and only revealing what your willing to show is fine. Just remember they NEVER did like you.

Thats a dose of reality thanks. I feel independent of them now come to think of it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thats a dose of reality thanks. I feel independent of them now come to think of it.

We can't forget. They do everyone this way. I'm of the opinion if she didn't build with me she probably came to destroy.

 

[BeExcellent]

There is a 3rd type of Oneitis. It affects the playboys and other men who have harems and ridiculous abundance with women. Men who have seen so many sets of T&A that they lose count.

That is the Oneitis for the “Rare Bird”. In other words a woman who stands out above and beyond the myriad women a man slays.

And it is the Rare Bird those playboys will fall for. Why? Because you end up with Prospect’s 1, 2, and 3 EVEN THOUGH you have a full rotation.

The problem is you aren’t going to have rotations full of Rare Birds. There just aren’t that many.

Which is good for the Rare Bird. Ask me how I know, lol.

Cheers

 

[forcerecon01]

There is a 3rd type of Oneitis. It affects the playboys and other men who have harems and ridiculous abundance with women. Men who have seen so many sets of T&A that they lose count.

That is the Oneitis for the “Rare Bird”. In other words a woman who stands out above and beyond the myriad women a man slays.

And it is the Rare Bird those playboys will fall for. Why? Because you end up with Prospect’s 1, 2, and 3 EVEN THOUGH you have a full rotation.

The problem is you aren’t going to have rotations full of Rare Birds. There just aren’t that many.

Which is good for the Rare Bird. Ask me how I know, lol.

Cheers

I have no experience with the Rare bird but they probably have supermodel looks and culturally refined behavior that aren't sluts

 

[BeExcellent]

I have no experience with the Rare bird but they probably have supermodel looks and culturally refined behavior that aren't sluts

George Clooney married a Rare Bird. And nobody is going to question his prior reputation as an international playboy.

 

[Glassguy]

Hi fellow don juans. I think I may have oneitis from a few women. How do you get rid of it? Do I need to just get up and go for a long jog and clear my mind? Do I lack confidence I can't find happiness from something else?

Build a rotation. Have options. Proudly dismiss a woman if she crosses the line for disrespectful behavior or reoccurring flakiness.

Enjoy.

 

[forcerecon01]

Build a rotation. Have options. Proudly dismiss a woman if she crosses the line for disrespectful behavior or reoccurring flakiness.

Enjoy.

Remind me what's a rotation?

 

[Glassguy]

Remind me what's a rotation?

When you have multiple women that you are seeing consistently.

My rotations consist of ONLY women that have the ability to eventually qualify themselves for a potential LTR. Attractive, solid career, financial independence, educated or entrepreneur, SUBMISSIVE/FEMININE, etc. No trash.
If after a while of spinning the rotation I feel that I want to spent more time with one in particular, it opens the door to a potential LTR.

Rotations are casual dating while screening the women's value. When you get a weak link you replace her. Always be looking for higher value women to add to your rotation but since you cant date 20 women at once, you need to find that perfect number that aligns with the available time you have to spend on dating. So adding one for me also means cutting the weak link loose. Think of it as a sports team with only a certain number of spots on the roster. They are constantly trying to better their quality of players through trade deals but still have to stay within the allowed roster spots and salary cap (which is your available time and dating budget). For me 3 women is a perfect number. I will see each one once to twice every 7-10 days and I still have time to do the other things that I both need and want to do outside of dating.

 

[Romanemp22]

Most of the time oneitis comes from scarcity mindset. You are so hung up with one girl and so afraid that you will lose her because you don't believe you will ever meet other women. The truth is much different. You will however, meet even more prettier women and far more "special". I had oneitis only once in my lifetime. I got it in high school and I was so crazy about that girl it was insane. It led to me being clingy and ofcourse she ditched me.
That rejection was painful, because I didn't believed in myself enough and thought she's the only one. I thank God that was when I was 17-18 yrs old and that I learned my lesson very young. I started working on myself, redpill through the core and that really changed me and my behavior with women. If it didn't, I would still be stuck on oneitis with some random wh0re.

 

[Spaz]

By being capable.

It is always the man who is least capable that developes oneitis.

When u r very capable, you are thus the giver.

When u r least capable, you r thus the receiver - hence the desire to feel wanted, the byproduct is of course oneitis.

And the least capable man, is also a man with the least masculine traits.

 

[Romanemp22]

Mind over matter. Meaning you don't lose your appetite over any 1 loss.
100% agree.
You become a ruthless warrior in your mind.

The oneitis rejection is very hard, like you cut a dope of a heroin addict. But you just need to go through it. Looking back its a wonderful journey that makes you what you are today.

 

[Baibars]

I would add that it's not only the blue pill idea of love. Blue Pill Men believe that women are capable of loving them for " who they are ". But not only that. Let's say a man marries a woman. His high school sweetheart. The first thing he believes is that they are meant to be together bla bla. Then they get kids time passes by and this guy still believes that they will stay together forever, die together and that the old social contract between men and women is still valid.

He thinks that only the minority of Couples divorce and he doesnt know female nature which has 0 boundaries thanks to feminism. So one day the predictable Event happens and he is shocked. Not only did he not expect what would happen because as we know, women check out of the relationship far before they leave men, but he also has to deal with a woman who completely changed. She hates him and already dates a new guy. He idealized this woman and everything that has to do with her. His world revolved around her and know its gone.

This is when Oneitis even kicks in harder and make him do all kind of weak stupid stuff.

 

[Romanemp22]

I would add that it's not only the blue pill idea of love. Blue Pill Men believe that women are capable of loving them for " who they are ". But not only that. Let's say a man marries a woman. His high school sweetheart. The first thing he believes is that they are meant to be together bla bla. Then they get kids time passes by and this guy still believes that they will stay together forever, die together and that the old social contract between men and women is still valid.

He thinks that only the minority of Couples divorce and he doesnt know female nature which has 0 boundaries thanks to feminism. So one day the predictable Event happens and he is shocked. Not only did he not expect what would happen because as we know, women check out of the relationship far before they leave men, but he also has to deal with a woman who completely changed. She hates him and already dates a new guy. He idealized this woman and everything that has to do with her. His world revolved around her and know its gone.

This is when Oneitis even kicks in harder and make him do all kind of weak stupid stuff.

Exactly, also those kind of men can't cope with new realization of women and rejection that some are even ready to do horrible things, to her and to himself. Those kind of fairytale stories where they live happily ever after don't happen in real life, and some are just too blind to realise that or doesn't really want to.