Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Becoming Chad

flowtheory

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From your guys’ personal journeys and various experiences on your own personal road to your subjective alpha mentality, what new habits (meditation, weight lifting, running, reading, hobbies, affirmations, more sleep, journaling, etc.) and destruction of old habits (no junk food, no sitting around, dumping toxic friends, etc) have assisted you most and made the biggest difference to attaining a stronger, better, more attractive self, which has fostered improvement in area(s) of your life?

Improvement of ones life could be shown avenues such as: garnering more attraction from women, more lays, meeting new friends, making more money, better body, total life upgrades in all areas, increased value, etc.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Chad is a man devoid of struggle... Struggle is what brings you to the Red Pill.

You don't want to be Chad, because Chad doesnt struggle, thus, Chad gets weak over time, undisciplined and eventually he'll start struggling himself.

Believe it or not, you are better off than Chad, just not right this moment.
 

Mike32ct

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You can only looksmaxx to climb up ONE tier, at most.

A 'cel could possibly become a normie.
A normie could possibly become Chadlite.
Only a Chadlite could in theory become (a borderline) Chad.

But all that aside, I think the OP has created a great thread. He's asking more about which self-improvement measures have helped you guys.
 

Who Dares Win

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Personally I dont believe in the "be the best version of yourself", that is not enough unless you're already good enough at base line.

Since the competition for resources its not with yourself but with others, you have to sit as high as possible in the social ladder.

My best suggestions are the following:

1)Drop any environment or people that sucks your energy or keep you down and unmotivated (your family included)

2)Go for what you want with all the necessary means and aquire them if you dont have them...dont be shy or humble in that

3)You are made of your head, body and standards and you should work on ALL OF THEM dont be the ripped guy with no goals or the clever cultured guys with spaghetti arms and man b00bs.

4)Life habits, diet and training are the necessary tools to accomplish point 2.

5)Faking it untill you make it, screwing up rules and disregarding common moral are acceptable behaviours if they serve your goal.

In the end we are what we do and we look according to what we are...our vibes change according to our life style.
 

death_wish. .

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Chad is a man devoid of struggle... Struggle is what brings you to the Red Pill.

You don't want to be Chad, because Chad doesnt struggle, thus, Chad gets weak over time, undisciplined and eventually he'll start struggling himself.

Believe it or not, you are better off than Chad, just not right this moment.
i understand the logic behind this , talent vs hard work. but the thing is chad has positive reinforcements all his life , early experience and practice
 

BackInTheGame78

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You can only looksmaxx to climb up ONE tier, at most.

A 'cel could possibly become a normie.
A normie could possibly become Chadlite.
Only a Chadlite could in theory become (a borderline) Chad.

But all that aside, I think the OP has created a great thread. He's asking more about which self-improvement measures have helped you guys.
Not true...if you are very heavy and overweight, you can easily go up 2-3, maybe even 4 or 5 by simply getting in good shape.
 

oldmanofthesea

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I don't know about the whole "Chad" thing (no one who knows me would call me a Chad - I'm absolutely not the loudest, biggest, most alpha guy in the room), but if I had to summarize the most important points of how I got to be the happy 44 year old guy who has abundance with very attractive 20-something year olds and who could care less if I am drowning in women or in a dry-spell, it would be the following:
  • Realizing how women’s minds work (basic red pill Rollo stuff). A major side effect of this that is critically important is rewiring your brain about the true meaning of love and relationships, which will change your emotions toward women. You haven't truly taken the red pill if you still believe in the popular definition of love.
  • Understanding just how horny and perverted women really are, and that most of them like sex even more than you do, and most of them like to be made to feel small in bed
  • Pulling the trigger every time, without fear, to approach and also to escalate physically
  • Removing the brainwashing that attractive women are anything special, anything to be feared, anything to be pedestalized. If you are nervous around a hot woman, how do you know her beauty isn't the only thing going for her, and that you aren't a much more valuable person? You start your interactions assuming this and let her prove otherwise to you. Not the other way around.
  • Putting women on the spot and teasing them - not being easily impressed - asking hard questions and expecting real answers - another way to put this is to get women to qualify themselves to YOU and ensuring you are NEVER qualifying yourself to them
  • Improving conversation skills - learning to have deep, meaningful conversations that go well below surface level and cut to the core of what a person is really all about. This is not specific to interactions with women - it is a life skill that will serve you EVERYWHERE including professionally. There are many books and classes focused on this and I highly recommend everyone take them. If a woman you are trying to flirt with has ever told you, "This feels like an interview", or you've left the conversation feeling like that's what happened, then you need to focus on these conversation skills.
  • Not wasting time - there are many components to this but I think anyone here would know what they all are
  • Being dismissive when the circumstances call for it
  • Setting boundaries, clearly communicating them, and nexting anyone who refuses to honor them (yes, even if she is hot and the sex is great......)
  • Having a busy social life and hobbies, which not only keep me entertained and happy without women, but also put me in the vicinity of women I find attractive. I'm just as happy with a woman as without. When with a woman, you have to deal with things you don't have to deal with when you aren't in a relationship. I've reached the point where I truly believe it is a wash, so I'm happy either way.
 

derby1

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quit alcohol, stopped messaging so much, body fat down from 30%(this showed me true female nature, you can literally be socially inept if you have a good physique)

outcome independence, indifference

abundance mindset is key,let me give you a scenario,
girl A: is seemingly enjoying your company, then out of nowhere girl A goes a little serious and distant. This would have sent me into an approval seeking mode 5 years ago. and become her comedian.

Now i mirror the silence/mood and make her seek my approval
 

Mike32ct

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Not true...if you are very heavy and overweight, you can easily go up 2-3, maybe even 4 or 5 by simply getting in good shape.
I meant tier or group. Not looks points per se.

‘Cel Tier = sub 5 looks

Normie Tier = 5 through high 6 in looks

Chadlite = 7 in looks

Chad = 8+ in looks
 

BackInTheGame78

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I meant tier or group. Not looks points per se.

‘Cel Tier = sub 5 looks

Normie Tier = 5 through high 6 in looks

Chadlite = 7 in looks

Chad = 8+ in looks
I still don't agree...a 300lb dude could easily go from Cel Tier to Chadlite tier by getting in shape.
 

Lookatu

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I could write a lengthy reply but simply: Balance

Improve your MIND, BODY, SOUL continually.

Many people work on only one or two and aren't balanced.
 

flowtheory

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I could write a lengthy reply but simply: Balance

Improve your MIND, BODY, SOUL continually.

Many people work on only one or two and aren't balanced.
Can you give examples of each?

Mind (Intellectual Paradigms)
Body (Emotional, Physical)
Soul (Connection to higher being or inner self?)
 

flowtheory

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Removing the brainwashing that attractive women are anything special, anything to be feared, anything to be pedestalized. If you are nervous around a hot woman, how do you know her beauty isn't the only thing going for her, and that you aren't a much more valuable person? You start your interactions assuming this and let her prove otherwise to you. Not the other way around.
I’m sure one is able to logically understand this - to not place attractive women on a pedestal. But how, in practice and reality doeS one get over the anxiety of talking to hot women without turning in to mush?
From your experience how did you start being able to forget about the fact that they are indeed super attractive without giving them automatic power; starting from the opening to eventual relationship? If you have personally experienced this. And I’m talking about women who are genuinely attractive, not the‘hot’ lip injection bimbo types.
 

oldmanofthesea

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I’m sure one is able to logically understand this - to not place attractive women on a pedestal. But how, in practice and reality doeS one get over the anxiety of talking to hot women without turning in to mush?
From your experience how did you start being able to forget about the fact that they are indeed super attractive without giving them automatic power; starting from the opening to eventual relationship? If you have personally experienced this. And I’m talking about women who are genuinely attractive, not the‘hot’ lip injection bimbo types.
I am not into "exotic" "striking"" looking women. Giant painted on eyebrows, lip injections, airbrushed makeup, GIANT azzes and all that. It's not my scene. I'm into slender, fit, petit, girls with long legs who really don't need to wear any makeup to look hot. The girls I date are down to earth, into the out-doors, don't go to clubs, are smart, and naturally beautiful. Most participate in some type of sport (which is where I meet the majority of them).

I used to be terrified of talking to women. I was nervous, I felt like they were a prize I needed to "win", and I was so in my head about it. I would have conversations by conducting interviews. So where are you from? Oh yeah? Where do you work? Oh cool. What do you do for fun? NO WAY THATS SO COOL!!!! Basically the typical blue-pill crap. I might be exaggerating a little bit, but when I was really nervous, I'm sure I had plenty of interactions like that. But I fixed it.

To directly answer your question:
1. Accept that a woman's confidence is often based solely on how men have treated her since early teens based on her looks alone.
2. Really think about what you are afraid of? The only logical answer is rejection. That's literally the worst thing that can happen when meeting a girl for the first time. That's it. Is that so bad? Who cares if some stranger "rejects" you. She isn't rejecting you as a person because she doesn't know you.
3. As things move into a relationship, you avoid giving them power by knowing you can replace her, by knowing you have an awesome fun life with a lot of friends so you don't need her, and leveraging red pill to understand that you will not get some sort of magical love out of her. You'll get sex, and some companionship (the latter of which you can also get from friends), and in trade you'll have to make compromises. Is all that really that big of a deal? Some huge prize?
4. Approach a LOT of women, until you have cured yourself. I do still believe in cold approaching, but not setting out for the sole purpose of doing it, however, I make an exception to that last rule if you are new and trying to rid yourself of some hang-ups. I had a three month period where I would cold approach dozens of women per week. The goal wasn't to get laid (though that was always nice when it happened). The goal was to learn to pull the trigger, realize that most women are open to having an interaction with you if you come across well and are calibrated, that less than 1% of the time will you get a really bad response, and to hone your conversation skills so you have having meaningful interactions and getting to know them at the core, instead of just surface level BS. It really helps your confidence.
5. Learn to put girls on the defense and have them qualify themselves to you. This is where you get your power. Once you've done this with enough girls, their power is gone because you realize you wield the same power as them, and you can use it as you wish. And because you know how it works, you don't fear it from them and you know how to respond to them if they try to apply it to you.

Talking to women is a muscle and a skill. When you get out of practice, to some degree, you'll be a bit nervous when you approach a hot girl, but the more you practice, the easier it gets. During the middle to end of my cold approach months, I had zero fear or anxiety. I might get a small amount of anxiety when approaching a girl today (since I've been dating a girl for 9 months) but not enough to stop me or make me nervous enough in the interaction that I wouldn't act right.
 

BadBoy89

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In my experience, height and hair are the most important things for a man when the girls want to get all the sex out of their system. After that time, the most important thing a man can have is money and connections. The hobbies, working out, sleep, etc is good for the man’s health, but doesn't mean too much for the girl. After that time, women only care about what you can do for them.

Men have to remember, the sexual market place is deregulated. These girls aren’t virgins. Any girl over 18 has been f*ucked 18 different ways from Sunday by the alpha male. By the time she is 27 she has been f*ucked 18 different ways from Sunday by 20 alpha males. There is no reason to be 0.1% nervous talking to ANY hot girl, unless their 6’2 brother is behind them with a gun or something.

Everytime I talk to a girl now I think “what was in your mouth before you started talking to me.”

Come on men.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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i understand the logic behind this , talent vs hard work. but the thing is chad has positive reinforcements all his life , early experience and practice
You give the idea of success much credit; people don't learn much from being successful other than how to replicate what they did before, they have no reason to learn, the ego is fed and they become more comfortable the more successful they are.

Failure is the teacher, success is the retarded step brother.
 

flowtheory

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I am not into "exotic" "striking"" looking women. Giant painted on eyebrows, lip injections, airbrushed makeup, GIANT azzes and all that. It's not my scene. I'm into slender, fit, petit, girls with long legs who really don't need to wear any makeup to look hot. The girls I date are down to earth, into the out-doors, don't go to clubs, are smart, and naturally beautiful. Most participate in some type of sport (which is where I meet the majority of them).

I used to be terrified of talking to women. I was nervous, I felt like they were a prize I needed to "win", and I was so in my head about it. I would have conversations by conducting interviews. So where are you from? Oh yeah? Where do you work? Oh cool. What do you do for fun? NO WAY THATS SO COOL!!!! Basically the typical blue-pill crap. I might be exaggerating a little bit, but when I was really nervous, I'm sure I had plenty of interactions like that. But I fixed it.

To directly answer your question:
1. Accept that a woman's confidence is often based solely on how men have treated her since early teens based on her looks alone.
2. Really think about what you are afraid of? The only logical answer is rejection. That's literally the worst thing that can happen when meeting a girl for the first time. That's it. Is that so bad? Who cares if some stranger "rejects" you. She isn't rejecting you as a person because she doesn't know you.
3. As things move into a relationship, you avoid giving them power by knowing you can replace her, by knowing you have an awesome fun life with a lot of friends so you don't need her, and leveraging red pill to understand that you will not get some sort of magical love out of her. You'll get sex, and some companionship (the latter of which you can also get from friends), and in trade you'll have to make compromises. Is all that really that big of a deal? Some huge prize?
4. Approach a LOT of women, until you have cured yourself. I do still believe in cold approaching, but not setting out for the sole purpose of doing it, however, I make an exception to that last rule if you are new and trying to rid yourself of some hang-ups. I had a three month period where I would cold approach dozens of women per week. The goal wasn't to get laid (though that was always nice when it happened). The goal was to learn to pull the trigger, realize that most women are open to having an interaction with you if you come across well and are calibrated, that less than 1% of the time will you get a really bad response, and to hone your conversation skills so you have having meaningful interactions and getting to know them at the core, instead of just surface level BS. It really helps your confidence.
5. Learn to put girls on the defense and have them qualify themselves to you. This is where you get your power. Once you've done this with enough girls, their power is gone because you realize you wield the same power as them, and you can use it as you wish. And because you know how it works, you don't fear it from them and you know how to respond to them if they try to apply it to you.

Talking to women is a muscle and a skill. When you get out of practice, to some degree, you'll be a bit nervous when you approach a hot girl, but the more you practice, the easier it gets. During the middle to end of my cold approach months, I had zero fear or anxiety. I might get a small amount of anxiety when approaching a girl today (since I've been dating a girl for 9 months) but not enough to stop me or make me nervous enough in the interaction that I wouldn't act right.
Great response! Thanks
 
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