Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

GF of 4 months broke it off today

AwlaysFukedUp

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She just texted me responding to the message I sent her. I didn't think she was going to at this point.

"Yeah I shouldn't have started dating right away, I need time. I think I thought I was over my ex but honestly I don't think I was. I'm sorry Steven. I just need to be alone right now."

You guys were saying I should've written something like "I understand. Thanks for all the great times and amazing memories these past few months. If you change your mind let me know. Good luck". Should I say that in response now? I feel like I should say something to act like I'm not as affected by this as I am, as well as end it on a better note than my last text
 
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mrgoodstuff

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She just texted me responding to the message I sent her. I didn't think she was going to at this point.

"Yeah I shouldn't have started dating right away, I need time. I think I thought I was over my ex but honestly I don't think I was. I'm sorry Steven. I just need to be alone right now."

You guys were saying I should've written something like "I understand. Thanks for all the great times and amazing memories these past few months. If you change your mind let me know. Good luck". Should I say that in response now?
Go fvck another babe and think about What you want to say afterwards
 

2Rocky

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What ever you text (and I'm not sure you should) don't be too available. I think go NC for 6 months, and ping her after that....
 

Barrister

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Your story is told here by countless others. Everyone always says "Yeah, I know that she was showing red flags, she was doing x, y, and z that are all bad things, BUT......." then we hear about this crazy chemistry or about how she said she would never leave them the way she is doing, etc. etc. No -- the red flags must be heeded. You got involved with a woman who was fresh out of a 2-3 relationship and you should have known better than to be pushing her for another serious relationship because you immediately looked needy and were only going to be a rebound.

The fact that this chick broke up with you over text is enough in itself to just NEXT and move on (go NC) before we even delve into anything else. I know it won't be easy because I have been there - but you need to focus on your own future and forget about this chick,
 

dude99

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She just texted me responding to the message I sent her. I didn't think she was going to at this point.

"Yeah I shouldn't have started dating right away, I need time. I think I thought I was over my ex but honestly I don't think I was. I'm sorry Steven. I just need to be alone right now."

You guys were saying I should've written something like "I understand. Thanks for all the great times and amazing memories these past few months. If you change your mind let me know. Good luck". Should I say that in response now? I feel like I should say something to act like I'm not as affected by this as I am, as well as end it on a better note than my last text
No reply at all is best.

If you must reply you reply with

"Ok."


Nothing else. Nothing else ever again.

Give her zero contact. Zero replies after this zero email zero text zero phone call zero social media. Zero.

Zero. Nothing. If you give her anything else it will justify her decision in her mind that dumping you was the right thing to do.

Give her zero.
 

Spaz

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This always happens when men places women as the PRIZE.

When you guys do it, it actually conveys that u r below par, in other words, she should have an upgrade.

Because ALL women desires to have a PRIZE.

Foolish boys will never learn this simple truth...
 

AwlaysFukedUp

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No reply at all is best.

If you must reply you reply with

"Ok."


Nothing else. Nothing else ever again.

Give her zero contact. Zero replies after this zero email zero text zero phone call zero social media. Zero.

Zero. Nothing. If you give her anything else it will justify her decision in her mind that dumping you was the right thing to do.

Give her zero.
What about "it's ok Sarah. I understand" then I delete her number?
 

dude99

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What about "it's ok Sarah. I understand" then I delete her number?
You are catering to her feelings and she will walk all over you. You are still talking in a matter that she still matters, and is still a priority.

Do not do this.

Delete her text then go no contact. 100% zero contact.

If you MUST reply, give her nothing more than 2 simple letters.

"Ok."

She is no longer a priority in your life. You no longer owe her any of your time, your respect, or anything at all. She blew her one chance with you and now she is history.

You are on to better things from this moment forward
 

Clamslammer

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4 months down the f*cking drain. We were texting today and she sent me this:

"Hey.

I have been thinking a lot about us lately, and where our relationship is headed. I'm feeling uncertain about our future, and I don’t think that's a good sign. You're really special and you deserve to be with someone who is ready to give you that relationship you’re looking for.

We are a great match in many ways- you're attractive, funny, and we have fun together. But for whatever reason, I'm not feeling strongly enough about this, and I know at this point in my life that it is important to me to have that strong connection with someone. You deserve real feeling and enthusiasm and for whatever reason I just can't deliver that to you right now. I have been waiting for stronger feelings to come because we seemed compatible, but they just haven’t.

I don't want to be in your way and hold you back from you the life you will be living soon with someone who is ready for that, and knowing that's not me I think it is best to free you up. I really really struggled with this decision because I like you and don't want to hurt you. I didn't make it lightly but I feel sure it's the right thing. I’m really sorry about it. You have been very sweet to me over the past few months. You can call me to talk if you want to. I am writing this to you because I am very selfish and don’t want to see you hurt. If you do need more closure though, I can talk on the phone. I wish you all the best."

I called her after I got this and we talked for a few minutes. She essentially said that she liked me, felt we had chemistry, and blah blah blah, but she was waiting for feelings to come and they never did. She also said she feels "heartless" or like she doesn't have emotions right now.

A few other things to note:

-The biggest thing... We started dating pretty much immediately after her last relationship, which was a 2-3 year relationship
-She's on lexapro (don't know for how long, but probably since before we met)
-She had a kidney infection the past week and stopped taking her birth control last Wednesday, then just got back on it yesterday or something

All bad signs, I know. BUT her and I had ridiculous chemistry in EVERY way and she was quickly becoming like a best friend as well as someone I was falling for, so I thought we were feeling the same (or close) and it would work. I was wrong. Apparently she never had real feelings for me (even though by her words she wanted them), all the while I'm legitimately falling in love with her. We had both agreed multiple times that we had crazy chemistry, which we also both agreed is extremely hard to find. She would also call me her boyfriend in text messages to friends (I know this because she'd text in front of me).

Per the usual post-breakup I feel absolutely horrendous. This totally took me by surprise. I'm shocked, hurting to a point I can't even describe, and I feel like everything I was looking forward to in the near future has totally crumbled. I'm trying not to think about the good times we had, but I can't help it, and whenever I do it breaks me even further. We were supposed to hangout tomorrow, we were going to take a trip to the beach in two weeks (which I made reservations for), and she told me she would be there for me/with me when I moved (moving to a new place in the same area next month). All gone. All of it plus 4 months of time, memories, and me falling in love with her.

This was one of the 2-3 girls EVER in 10-12 years of dating who I felt honest-to-god STRONG chemistry with. It hits even harder because I feel like I might never find this again. I also hate dating and was really happy to be out of that "game".

I sent her this text after:

"Hey I just wanted to say a few things that are on my mind because you said you feel heartless or like you don't have emotions right now. You told me that you're on anti-depressants. They can be great, but they also numb your emotions and make you think/feel differently than you otherwise would. Also, you said you stopped taking your birth control last week. I'm sure you already know this, but birth control messes with your hormones and starting/stopping can change the way you feel. On top of those factors, you just had a traumatic experience with that stalker guy and having this kidney infection. And lastly, I honestly don't think you gave "us" enough time. 3 months isn't even long enough to get over your ex of 2-3 years, let alone catch feelings for someone else. If you would have given us longer you might have caught feelings like I did. I'm not trying to change your mind and I respect your decision even though it crushes me, but I just wanted to make you aware of these things if you aren't already, because they may be influencing your feelings."

It was from a 98% rational perspective. I really am not sure if it's a good thing she's breaking it off now, or if there was a chance she'd have eventually gotten feelings in the future if we kept seeing each other.

It's all even more confusing, because a few weeks ago I sat down with her and told her if she needed/want space, or to see other people, or just to break it off or whatever--she could, and that she should do it right away. But she didn't want to. Then a few weeks later she does this. Just last weekend she also wanted me to spend the night two nights in a row, which we had never done before. This plus a lot of other things made me think we were getting closer and closer, then she drops this bomb on me today.

The best way I can sum up how I'm feeling is... Hopeless. Completely hopeless. I don't even know what to do or where to go now.
You were needy and did not have your own life. She should be chasing a relationship with you always not the other way around. A girl should never be your priority. She sensed this and she dumped you. A lot of guys make this mistake when they fine the "one."

Also next time don't text a girl or call her if she wants to break up with you. You walk away, if she ever reaches out she has to earn you back.
 

mrgoodstuff

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You were needy and did not have your own life. She should be chasing a relationship with you always not the other way around. A girl should never be your priority. She sensed this and she dumped you. A lot of guys make this mistake when they fine the "one."

Also next time don't text a girl or call her if she wants to break up with you. You walk away, if she ever reaches out she has to earn you back.
Spread em
 

AttackFormation

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She just texted me responding to the message I sent her. I didn't think she was going to at this point.

"Yeah I shouldn't have started dating right away, I need time. I think I thought I was over my ex but honestly I don't think I was. I'm sorry Steven. I just need to be alone right now."

You guys were saying I should've written something like "I understand. Thanks for all the great times and amazing memories these past few months. If you change your mind let me know. Good luck". Should I say that in response now? I feel like I should say something to act like I'm not as affected by this as I am, as well as end it on a better note than my last text
NO

Don't "thank" her for anything. Don't say you'll still be sitting around waiting for her to "let you know". These responses are symptomatic of how you are still in a weak mindset. This weakness is what fundamentally repels her in the first place. Women respect men who show symptoms of stoicism and dignity (strength), not symptoms of pedestalisation and codependence (weakness). I guarantee you she doesn't care about you "thanking her" and doesn't feel any respect for you sitting around telling her to "let you know".

All you have to text back for dignity and stoicism is literally just "No prob" and then delete her number - that's it. If she ever does contact you to rebound again, you'll hopefully have a stronger mindset, and you can simply ask "who is this?" and go from there.
 
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Lookatu

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What about "it's ok Sarah. I understand" then I delete her number?
I vote absolutely not. She dumped you and have you feeling like this. Why should you make HER feel better and justified for dumping you by letting her off the hook? No response from you will be the best as it will punish that type of bad behavior rather than reinforce it.
 

oldmanofthesea

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Brother, this was the girl who flaked on a date with you last-minute because she had to "babysit", and instead she partied with two dudes into the wee hours of the morning and put video of it up on snapchat for you and everyone else to see, and also posts thirst trap pics on IG. How on earth are you: A - Surprised by her dropping you, and B - Falling in love with her and heartbroken about it?! Your investment in her was SO foolish. You couldn't see that but SHE could. This is one of the ways some women will test men: See what they can get away with and see if and how it changes the man's investment in her. That right there is a phenomenal method for women to truly separate the high value men from the low value men. She treated you like crap and instead of it causing you to move away from her and invest less, you fell deeper and deeper in love with her and invested more. The only emotion women experience when they see this is pity for you. Definitely not attraction nor love.

A man who can't draw boundaries and tolerates bad treatment repeatedly is proving they are low value and have no other options. How you let other people treat you is a reflection on what you believe about yourself. Your statements about not finding another woman like her are coming from scarcity and further proving low value. Until you fix that in yourself and get to where you are easily dating the exact kind of women you want to be dating, you will continue to experience this.

Stop thinking about what to say to her. You should end all dialogue with her and never talk to her again. Things with this girl are OVER and should have been long long ago. Now it is time to work on yourself, not another chance at a girl who has already assessed your value and chosen to reject you because of it.
 

CBear

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Brother, this was the girl who flaked on a date with you last-minute because she had to "babysit", and instead she partied with two dudes into the wee hours of the morning and put video of it up on snapchat for you and everyone else to see, and also posts thirst trap pics on IG. How on earth are you: A - Surprised by her dropping you, and B - Falling in love with her and heartbroken about it?! Your investment in her was SO foolish. You couldn't see that but SHE could. This is one of the ways some women will test men: See what they can get away with and see if and how it changes the man's investment in her. That right there is a phenomenal method for women to truly separate the high value men from the low value men. She treated you like crap and instead of it causing you to move away from her and invest less, you fell deeper and deeper in love with her and invested more. The only emotion women experience when they see this is pity for you. Definitely not attraction nor love.

A man who can't draw boundaries and tolerates bad treatment repeatedly is proving they are low value and have no other options. How you let other people treat you is a reflection on what you believe about yourself. Your statements about not finding another woman like her are coming from scarcity and further proving low value. Until you fix that in yourself and get to where you are easily dating the exact kind of women you want to be dating, you will continue to experience this.

Stop thinking about what to say to her. You should end all dialogue with her and never talk to her again. Things with this girl are OVER and should have been long long ago. Now it is time to work on yourself, not another chance at a girl who has already assessed your value and chosen to reject you because of it.
Omg is this that same guy? LOL after all the advice given, there is no sympathy for this one if thats the case. He deserves to go through this if hes somehow shocked. Best lessons learned are the hardest. And this is 100% on him.
 

oldmanofthesea

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Omg is this that same guy? LOL after all the advice given, there is no sympathy for this one if thats the case. He deserves to go through this if hes somehow shocked. Best lessons learned are the hardest. And this is 100% on him.
It is....



 

17 shots

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You're too nice, you've probably never stood your ground with her on anything.

You're response to her text was way too nice guy ish. Don't act like you're scared to lose her(even if you are). You have the right to be upset, and to be a little mean to her, especially when you gave her an out weeks prior, and she refused

Tell them off when they deserve it. Women like being checked
 

AttackFormation

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It is....



Do you think he's a troll or a real case? I am not accusing him or being facetious, I am genuinely wondering. I am so deep into the red pill from years of contemplative internalisation that sometimes when I see what might be real cases, my view becomes myopic and I can't tell them apart from trolling/pranks because they seem so similar.

Is this guy just particularly codependent and pedestalising? or is he a troll? or worst case scenario, is this how "normal" men actually are in the real world? Does anyone else know?
 
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17 shots

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She did you a favor and in a classy way. You're lucky.
I agree she did him a favor, but it was not classy at all. He asked her if she needed space and if she wanted to break things off weeks ago. She said no, giving him false comfort and piece of mind, and then later does this

She's a bipolar, fake ass ho
 
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