Help with Psychology coursework

[derby1]

Would appreciate any help here men, conflicting info

I am currently completing my course on the above, under self esteem it says they have "destructive pride", and "discard others opinions , over their own".

ie you tell your daughter she is pretty and she is convinced shes not

But i thought people with self esteem issues hunt for group acceptance/likes (ie: other peoples opinions)

confused.

 

[Kotaix]

This is way too vague as-is to give any feedback. Give us a bit more context.

 

[derby1]

dont know what else i can say?

it says sufferers of low self esteem issues , discard other opinions and still don't think their good enough...

but i thought those with low self esteem hunted for the approval of others

 

[Kotaix]

Very few people actually listen to anything that is said to them, they're too busy thinking.

 

[derby1]

just seems whopping contradicting advice, i thought people with low self esteem were whopping attention seekers

or it appears that moves into the realms of narcissism

 

[Alvafe]

just seems whopping contradicting advice, i thought people with low self esteem were whopping attention seekers

or it appears that moves into the realms of narcissism

yes they are atencion seekers, and bend easily on peers pressure, but the problem is always, not everyone is the same, looking for a group and mix in said group is something kids do and woman, they need a group to feel they belong somewhere, but somepeople don't like interation with other people, so they lack of self esteem means they will isolate thenselfs from others.

problem with dealing with people is there is no one rule for then all, each case is one, some follow the behavior to the letters others don't, and these who don't are the most troublesome to deal with

also take note some people give importance to others things more then others, following the example a parent calling his daughter pretty is not taken in consideration, its they parents of course they find her pretty, but the hot guy who she have the hots for don't, and she give the importance to that opnion, same for a ugly guys she don't care about there is no importance to him so its ignored.

but then there is some who is always fishing for compliments, these like to heard it, but also don't belive on then, but since she feels good hearing it, she act and behave in ways to get said compliments, worse cases, she belives anyone who compliments her as dumb who failed to see she is faking


you really need to give more info if you want something more

 

[derby1]

no thats fine, kind of get it now....

just couldnt understand how it said they shoot down the opinion of others, but on the same respect they search for likes on social media

surely that is the opinion of others?

 

[Alvafe]

no thats fine, kind of get it now....

just couldnt understand how it said they shoot down the opinion of others, but on the same respect they search for likes on social media

surely that is the opinion of others?

its not they shot down, they don't belive its the reason, something like they say that because they don't know how I really am, or the feeling good is not permanent so they seek validation over and over.

lets tell you of someone who have serious atencin seeking issues I know of.

once in a group we was talking, but him wnated to leave and we don't, so we pretty much keep talking, then he interrupt we talking saying lets leave, we ignore him and keep talking, and he stay there watching, les then a minute he say it again lets leave, we ignore again and keep talking, on the 3rd he did this, I shoot at him, then leave already, he without much he try to save face and says he will and finally leave.

his issue was he didn't want to be alone and then he wanted to lead with anyone leaving with him, possible with teh girl I was talking about. there was other issues with said guy about how annoying he was with his self steem issues


understand you don't really need to negate or disconsider some contradiction on a person mind, that is normal, a lot of people will work on making his contradition work by negating some facts, I think its called cognitive dissociation

 

[Kotaix]

Having low self-esteem is in no way tied to attention seeking. They are different behaviors. It's possible to have both, and it's possible to have only one or the other.

I've seen plenty of men and women that hide in the proverbial corner because they think they're not attractive enough. In a lot of cases they're right. These people usually DON'T want attention called to them, and that's usually the result of their experience being picked on as a kid. Girls are especially bad at forming cliques and psychologically bullying those who aren't good enough because physical fighting isn't their thing.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

Would appreciate any help here men, conflicting info

I am currently completing my course on the above, under self esteem it says they have "destructive pride", and "discard others opinions , over their own".

ie you tell your daughter she is pretty and she is convinced shes not

But i thought people with self esteem issues hunt for group acceptance/likes (ie: other peoples opinions)

confused.

I recommend Max webber. Or Karen Horney former resident of Germany prior to join Nazi Germany. Later on she lived her life in America. Married had a husband. And continued her work in psychology. If you have time order an old book from Karen in your library. Something as simple as 5 human natures could save you years of time wasted. Karen Horney Pshychologist with background from Freud himself. K

 

[Black Widow Void]

Low self-esteem VS Low self-image
There is a difference.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Low self-esteem VS Low self-image
There is a difference.

I have some books.

6 pillars
Psychocybernetics

And a few others. What book would the difference between esteem and image be?

What part of you do all the "neg" games and "politics" ( to stall or reject or back you up ) affect? All of that is to reduce your view of yourself or to weaken your resolve.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I have some books.

6 pillars
Psychocybernetics

And a few others. What book would the difference between esteem and image be?

What part of you do all the "neg" games and "politics" ( to stall or reject or back you up ) affect? All of that is to reduce your view of yourself or to weaken your resolve.

The "neg games" were typically designed (to my knowledge) for two reasons.
1. To level the playing field (deflating the ego of the too self-assured female)
and
2. To (sub)'communicate' that the man is so confident that he's willing to differentiate himself from the 'pleasing' type; in effort to turn the tables and have *her* reaching out.

The neg game will typically not work for the avg esteem gal. They usually would not 'get' the banter and view these tactics are "rude." And the gal with slightly below avg, esteem might take the negativity to heart as well as be offended.

Re: "Low self-esteem VS Low self-image"

A low self-image person can still function like a avg. level self-esteem person and not appear insecure. They tend to look at themselves negatively as if it's just a matter of fact. You could tell them that they are beautiful, but they clearly do not see it within themselves.

The low self-esteem person is typically insecure. Their value is determined by what others think. They can feel better (or worse) depending on the opinion of others.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I was talking about neg games that females ( fem*ists and players ) run on dudes.

1. Stalling ( "probably", "maybe", "i'll see", "i'll think about it" )
2. Multi-dating
3. Changing plans
4. Talking/texting to another guy in your presense
5. Negging you verbally
6. Getting you to do too much when she's not invested
7. Stringing your along for dates
8. Put downs and over criticizing
9. Taking sex away or making you disrespect yourself to get it.

Etc. All the things that a woman can do to "bring a guy down"...

 

[Black Widow Void]

I was talking about neg games that females ( fem*ists and players ) run on dudes.

1. Stalling ( "probably", "maybe", "i'll see", "i'll think about it" )
2. Multi-dating
3. Changing plans
4. Talking/texting to another guy in your presense
5. Negging you verbally
6. Getting you to do too much when she's not invested
7. Stringing your along for dates
8. Put downs and over criticizing
9. Taking sex away or making you disrespect yourself to get it.

Etc. All the things that a woman can do to "bring a guy down"...

I won't deny that I've been at the brunt end of several things you described above (1,3,5,6 & 8 to be exact and embarrassingly more than once).
With this being said though, we (including myself) have to take some self-responsibility/self-accountability.
Speaking for myself, after experiencing some of the above... I would later think to myself; "why did I put up with this" and "what vibe did I put off that 'told' her that this behavior was acceptable?"

As long as with each unpleasant female experience, we learn something about ourselves (and improve) .... the infractions become fewer and fewer. I'm not sure if we ever master this 100% (though some members on this forum would like us to believe otherwise).

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I won't deny that I've been at the brunt end of several things you described above (1,3,5,6 & 8 to be exact and embarrassingly more than once).
With this being said though, we (including myself) have to take some self-responsibility/self-accountability.
Speaking for myself, after experiencing some of the above... I would later think to myself; "why did I put up with this" and "what vibe did I put off that 'told' her that this behavior was acceptable?"

As long as with each unpleasant female experience, we learn something about ourselves (and improve) .... the infractions become fewer and fewer. I'm not sure if we ever master this 100% (though some members on this forum would like us to believe otherwise).

I was punished for wanting someone more than they wanted me. My core person cared about puzzy and i dealt with women who wanted to fvck me. In efforts to be "kinder and gentler" to make groups happier i was made to suffer. Now im back to my core and steadfast and more understanding and confident in my worth. I don't want to deal with a woman that doesn't prioritize me and my d1ck. We can get to love and good treatment. But at the core if she doesn't desire me in her body more strongly. If she doesn't want to protect what we have then it's completely useless to me.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I won't deny that I've been at the brunt end of several things you described above (1,3,5,6 & 8 to be exact and embarrassingly more than once).
With this being said though, we (including myself) have to take some self-responsibility/self-accountability.
Speaking for myself, after experiencing some of the above... I would later think to myself; "why did I put up with this" and "what vibe did I put off that 'told' her that this behavior was acceptable?"

As long as with each unpleasant female experience, we learn something about ourselves (and improve) .... the infractions become fewer and fewer. I'm not sure if we ever master this 100% (though some members on this forum would like us to believe otherwise).

Some women like us enough they want to help us and make us happy. Others came to get our "stuff" and will be issuing 1 thru 9 consistently.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Some women like us enough they want to help us and make us happy. Others came to get our "stuff" and will be issuing 1 thru 9 consistently.

That's a good point.

2 out of the 3 last women I've taken out fell into the latter. In my younger days, I would have continued seeing these two with the likelihood that I would have probably slept with one of them (a 50% average). In my younger days, I would have considered this to be a (so-called) "victory."

There's some benefit to getting old(er). I told 2 out of the 3 that it didn't seem like a good fit. The reality is... getting laid by either one of them didn't seem worth the investment.

The 3rd gal that seemed more genuine and less depleting, but there's no bragging rights here. I'm old enough to know better, but I'm seeing her Saturday night.
Why the reservations about girl # 3? She wants to be a friggin' Life Coach!

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I was talking about neg games that females ( fem*ists and players ) run on dudes.

1. Stalling ( "probably", "maybe", "i'll see", "i'll think about it" )
2. Multi-dating
3. Changing plans
4. Talking/texting to another guy in your presense
5. Negging you verbally
6. Getting you to do too much when she's not invested
7. Stringing your along for dates
8. Put downs and over criticizing
9. Taking sex away or making you disrespect yourself to get it.

Etc. All the things that a woman can do to "bring a guy down"...

what are the things they do to make a man care? to bring him 'up'? the opposite of this list would be what?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

what are the things they do to make a man care? to bring him 'up'? the opposite of this list would be what?

Praise him
Honor him
Love him
Predict his needs and meet them
Care for him
Say good things about him
Protect him
Nurture him
See the good in him
Listen to him
Believe in him
See the man that he can be
Inspire him
Speak life into him