"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Getting over oneitis

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
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We've all been there, OP. It's what drives many to this site. Sorry some of the responses are from immature dumb-asses.

That said, a few thoughts come to mind on how to best get over a oneitis:

1- T-I-M-E. There is no quick-fix. Nothing. Give it time. Many women I was hell-bent on years back I look back now and think "What the f*uck was I thinking?!"
2- Go 100% NC. If you work with her, be cordial, friendly as it's a professional environment and leave it at that. Don't communicate with her socially or in your personal time any more--you'll be validating her decision to dump you. Plus, subconsciously it really wrecks your ego, psyche, and levels of confidence and self-esteem. Guys think they're being "nice" when an ex reaches out. You're actually being weak and supplicating--the very qualities that turn women OFF. Move the f*uck ON. Period.
2A- Don't EVER date or f*uck where you work. Never ends well. Ever. Got it?
**3- DON'T EVER GIVE IN TO HER ADVANCES.** This is SO common. A guy gets dumped, then he goes NC, the girl senses he's losing interest, she comes back pretending to be all interested again and wanting to rekindle things, the guy gives in and takes the bait, and she flakes, disappears, or dumps him--again. I must have read this story 1000 times in my years on this site.
4- Keep yourself busy. It works. The WORST thing you can do is sit around and pine over her. Some say "But, I can't help it." Weak ass s*hit. YES YOU CAN. JUST DO IT.
5- Make an effort to date. Use OLD, social media, whatever. Getting interest from other women will help your confidence and help you get over the ex quicker. You don't have to gf them or even have sex with them , just the attention from other women can be enough.

Good luck.

~Dash~
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Reservoir Dog

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She usually gets back by sending something funny or reacting to something I post on social media, so we just exchange a few lines here and there, and the energy is always very good in person. I'll probably wait til the energy is good in person and suggest we hang out and ask her when she's available. I asked a couple of times in the past, and a few times she couldn't, and one time we did hang out. So I'm thinking I give it one last shot before completely erasing out of the picture. But I know it'll be hard, due to the situation, but I'll just have to do it, for my sanity's sake. She's an amazing person, incredibly decent and one of the most wonderful human beings I've ever met, so in case she doesn't feel anything for me, it'll be hard, but I'm ready for it.
What happened when you did hang out?

Also be careful about: She's an amazing person, incredibly decent and one of the most wonderful human beings I've ever met.

No-one is all good or all bad. We all have good and bad in us.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Visionist

Master Don Juan
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She friendzoned you. Were you teasing her, putting your hands on her and leading the conversation in a sexual direction?
 
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