I just left my family

[Exil]

Advice please gents. I've just left my now-ex of 10 years and two daughters and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it. She "emotionally" cheated in February and we've been living separately inside our house during lockdown but I've finally had enough of her moodiness, sh1t tests and walked out the door today.

I feel awful for my kids, they've done nothing wrong but I couldn't stay in that environment any longer. Am I a b@stard for leaving my kids? I can't stay with someone who is like that and it's not the first time she's done sh1t like this either. I've left before and always end up going back until the next time. I've had several affairs also but I'm just better at not getting caught than she is.

Lat year we got back together after a 5 month separation and I had about 15 girls I was talking to and sleeping with 4 on rotation (the hottest of the group) but I just cut them all loose when we got back together. I know that's probably where I went wrong but I do what I want when I'm single and was happy to give it up at the time, which to be honest, drove her crazy that all these girls kept messaging me months after we'd got back together.

If I'm honest, I didn't treat her well by the end. I do the stuff I'm supposed to do, bills etc but I'm very rarely romantic. I don't put in the effort to keep her attraction high because to be completely honest, I'm so tired when I get in from working that I haven't got the energy to "make her feel special and wanted". I work hard, I do a lot around the house but it's never appreciated.

Would you have left in my position or have I made a huge mistake?

 

[sosousage]

what is 'emotional cheating' bruh

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Advice please gents. I've just left my now-ex of 10 years and two daughters and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it. She "emotionally" cheated in February and we've been living separately inside our house during lockdown but I've finally had enough of her moodiness, sh1t tests and walked out the door today.

I feel awful for my kids, they've done nothing wrong but I couldn't stay in that environment any longer. Am I a b@stard for leaving my kids? I can't stay with someone who is like that and it's not the first time she's done sh1t like this either. I've left before and always end up going back until the next time. I've had several affairs also but I'm just better at not getting caught than she is.

Lat year we got back together after a 5 month separation and I had about 15 girls I was talking to and sleeping with 4 on rotation (the hottest of the group) but I just cut them all loose when we got back together. I know that's probably where I went wrong but I do what I want when I'm single and was happy to give it up at the time, which to be honest, drove her crazy that all these girls kept messaging me months after we'd got back together.

If I'm honest, I didn't treat her well by the end. I do the stuff I'm supposed to do, bills etc but I'm very rarely romantic. I don't put in the effort to keep her attraction high because to be completely honest, I'm so tired when I get in from working that I haven't got the energy to "make her feel special and wanted". I work hard, I do a lot around the house but it's never appreciated.

Would you have left in my position or have I made a huge mistake?

Consider that perhaps you are not all the way done. That the moving out and living separate can be an intermediate step before pulling out completely. You have some leverage with NO contact and no assistance. Is she capable of being the woman you need her to be? Will she be that woman for another man?

 

[Exil]

what is 'emotional cheating' bruh

Texting someone else, no sexual contact etc (to my knowledge)

 

[Exil]

Consider that perhaps you are not all the way done. That the moving out and living separate can be an intermediate step before pulling out completely. You have some leverage with NO contact and no assistance. Is she capable of being the woman you need her to be? Will she be that woman for another man?

I honestly don't know. She can be brilliant but she's got a darker side. She's got daddy issues so you can guess the type I've been dealing with. I've stayed for so long because I got her pregnant so early on and I think my conditioning from my dad (stayed with my mom even though there was infidelity) and always took her back whenever she came and went.

I am full no contact with her because I need space and time to think.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I honestly don't know. She can be brilliant but she's got a darker side. She's got daddy issues so you can guess the type I've been dealing with. I've stayed for so long because I got her pregnant so early on and I think my conditioning from my dad (stayed with my mom even though there was infidelity) and always took her back whenever she came and went.

I am full no contact with her because I need space and time to think.

Shes controlling?

 

[Exil]

Shes controlling?

Not overly, more passive aggressive - silent treatments, stonewalling, disinterested in conversation when I try to talk to her about anything to do with the relationship. It's the exact same pattern her mother did to her dad for years. He's really weak, definition of a beta cuck. I've thought it for years that she just genuinely believes that's what men are for and as I said before, I've stayed for years because of the kids. I'm really close with my kids.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Not overly, more passive aggressive - silent treatments, stonewalling, disinterested in conversation when I try to talk to her about anything to do with the relationship. It's the exact same pattern her mother did to her dad for years. He's really weak, definition of a beta cuck. I've thought it for years that she just genuinely believes that's what men are for and as I said before, I've stayed for years because of the kids. I'm really close with my kids.

So did it weaken you to interact with it? Im sure you learned the hard way mo matter how strong you are to keep interacting with someone who wants to degrade you is not good.

 

[Exil]

Honestly yeah, I had to get away from her to think clearly. My judgement has been poor of late and I'm normally pretty certain with everything I do.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Honestly yeah, I had to get away from her to think clearly. My judgement has been poor of late and I'm normally pretty certain with everything I do.

That's funny, that you were focused enough to realize when something makes it "cloudy" or "muddy"... Manipulation, heavy biasing, lieing and gaslighting do that to a focused mind.

 

[Exil]

That "off" feeling you get in your gut. I used to ignore it and just press on until I learned the hard way that it wasn't serving me.

I think every man has to go through something like this with a woman to force the him to wake up. Let's face it, not many of us found the red pill because our dating lives were going so swimmingly. I'm not full ref pill yet, I'm still very early in my journey but it's great there's such a solid community of like-minded people here to give their take on situations.

The rational male opened my eyes and now I can't unsee what I've seen.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That "off" feeling you get in your gut. I used to ignore it and just press on until I learned the hard way that it wasn't serving me.

I think every man has to go through something like this with a woman to force the him to wake up. Let's face it, not many of us found the red pill because our dating lives were going so swimmingly. I'm not full ref pill yet, I'm still very early in my journey but it's great there's such a solid community of like-minded people here to give their take on situations.

The rational male opened my eyes and now I can't unsee what I've seen.

What was your "off" feeling?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That "off" feeling you get in your gut. I used to ignore it and just press on until I learned the hard way that it wasn't serving me.

I think every man has to go through something like this with a woman to force the him to wake up. Let's face it, not many of us found the red pill because our dating lives were going so swimmingly. I'm not full ref pill yet, I'm still very early in my journey but it's great there's such a solid community of like-minded people here to give their take on situations.

The rational male opened my eyes and now I can't unsee what I've seen.

That is good and I understand. Did you read "The Manipulated Man?". Some of the writing is rough, and I don't hate women, but it explained many of the situations and scenarios and "jobs" men are brought in for.

 

[Exil]

What was your "off" feeling?

Hard to explain exactly what it is. Like I'm being lied to. Like something was out of place beyond my control or happening without my influence. I believe it's more a gut feeling than anything else

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hard to explain exactly what it is. Like I'm being lied to. Like something was out of place beyond my control or happening without my influence. I believe it's more a gut feeling than anything else

Thats a whole lotta lying and smokescreening.

 

[Exil]

That is good and I understand. Did you read "The Manipulated Man?". Some of the writing is rough, and I don't hate women, but it explained many of the situations and scenarios and "jobs" men are brought in for.

No I can't say that I have. I can deal with rough thanks for the recommendation.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No I can't say that I have. I can deal with rough thanks for the recommendation.

It improves your clarity on Top of the rational male. Its a one or two day quick read.

 

[Exil]

Thats a whole lotta lying and smokescreening.

Yeah 100%. I've started seeing the patterns of how she plays things out. I actually started really noticing it about 3 years ago and started reacting in different ways to test the outcomes, like a school science project

 

[Exil]

It improves your clarity on Top of the rational male. Its a one or two day quick read.

Thanks man, I'll definitely give it a go

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah 100%. I've started seeing the patterns of how she plays things out. I actually started really noticing it about 3 years ago and started reacting in different ways to test the outcomes, like a school science project

You'll notice its more than her. Others too. People twist things to their advantage.