"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Flew in out of state, slept together, offer her flight money?

jnMissouri

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Never asked for any money. I told her I'd cover her expenses while she is here and have. Very appreciative even though she is well off.

So offee her $600 for flight or not? Maybe slip into her pocket?

I like the gesture but worry I won't be letting her invest in me by doing so.

I'm going to see her in 2 weeks. We are already crazy about each other.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Billtx49

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So offer her $600 for flight or not? Maybe slip into her pocket?
Slipping it in her pocket surreptitiously is as bad as leaving money on the bedroom dresser at her place. It can make her feel like a paid hoe. Whatever you decide to do, be upfront with your intent.
How about just asking her if she would want or like any travel expenses help if it concerns you that much…
 

jnMissouri

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Dating a few in town but this one is hottslest and best overall. Successful , etc. She messaged me so figured why not. So far I'm falling for her but NOT telling her. I did pull phone to get pics together and she liked it. Even pulled hers to get same.


No. This isn't pay to play. Next time you fly there. You cannot find a female who lives closer?
 

RickTheToad

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Dating a few in town but this one is hottslest and best overall. Successful , etc. She messaged me so figured why not. So far I'm falling for her but NOT telling her. I did pull phone to get pics together and she liked it. Even pulled hers to get same.
Oh, in that case, definitely NO. Continue to make her come to you and you do not offer her money, ride or anything. You can feed her if you like, after sex. Glass of wine prior. You need to have the attitude that she can come or go, you do not give a f uck.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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bcude

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Would someone who has plenty of choice in women be paying some woman to come to him
Or would she move heaven and earth to go to him, because he's the prize.
Normally i'd say not to entertain long distance relationships but if you do have one and she's willing to come to you and fvck on demand, then that's totally reasonable.
I get the feeling that you're doing everything you can to keep this one, that she's becoming very special to you and we all know where that road leads...

You don't have to tell her that you're falling for her, she most probably feels that from the way you act with her already.
 

2Rocky

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I did long distance for 3.5 years. For the most part we each paid our way to the other's and alternated. When circumstances dictated I covered her coming my way because I couldn't leave. But whomever hosted, covered all costs while there.

After a couple of back and forth's the "what are we?" discussion comes up.
 

Suave88

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Never asked for any money. I told her I'd cover her expenses while she is here and have. Very appreciative even though she is well off.

So offee her $600 for flight or not? Maybe slip into her pocket?

I like the gesture but worry I won't be letting her invest in me by doing so.

I'm going to see her in 2 weeks. We are already crazy about each other.
NO. Fvck NO. If she flew to see you, just go see her next or wait for her to fly to you again. NEVER give money to a woman unless she is the mother of you children. NEVER EVER!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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jnMissouri

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Would someone who has plenty of choice in women be paying some woman to come to him
Or would she move heaven and earth to go to him, because he's the prize.
Normally i'd say not to entertain long distance relationships but if you do have one and she's willing to come to you and fvck on demand, then that's totally reasonable.
I get the feeling that you're doing everything you can to keep this one, that she's becoming very special to you and we all know where that road leads...

You don't have to tell her that you're falling for her, she most probably feels that from the way you act with her already.

While you make a good point and I understand what you are saying, it's not paying her to come to me. It's making a gesture, much like opening the door for her. She is well off and doesn't need my money and repeatedly declined. Well we are acting like a couple already, falling for each other fast. I don't want to be totally cold and aloof when she is initiating hard feelings like the is, because THAT is as bad as telling her "I LIKE YOU" or "I LOVE YOU" right out of the gate. But we do have chemistry together. No I'm not a fan of long distance relationships but I've been considering relocating and she happens to live in a state that is a viable candidate.

Big question on THAT is how long before we make that call...I don't want to do it too fast before I really deeply get to know her, but at the same time I don't want a year long distant relationship where I have to fly 5 hours to see her and then have her fly here 5 hours to see me every couple weeks. While you do get to spend time getting to know each other, it's also the highlights reel for the most part because you aren't there daily for those mundane things and those annoying things. There were some slight things, but so minor that it was nothing, so it's not like it's purely honeymoon seeing each other like this, but it's not QUITE the same as living together daily where it really starts to grind on you.

I wouldn't really say I'm doing everything I can to keep this one. She flew to see ME, not the other way around, despite her trying to suggest I go see her first. So I really haven't done anything to "keep her". We had sex, watched movies and ordered take out.

That said I am open to suggestions on how to reciprocate affection without giving too much away and not being too much of a challenge.

On an interesting note, she always initiates calls with me. As of about 2 weeks ago she started feeling comfortable enough to start calling me. When she called after arriving back home, we talked for about an hour, laughed and talked about how we both had a good time, I ended the conversation first and told her I'd text her the next day (to end the conversation on a high note, keep her wanting more and let anticipation build).
 
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jnMissouri

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Slipping it in her pocket surreptitiously is as bad as leaving money on the bedroom dresser at her place. It can make her feel like a paid hoe. Whatever you decide to do, be upfront with your intent.
How about just asking her if she would want or like any travel expenses help if it concerns you that much…
I took YOUR advice, it seemed reasonable and she declined. It was a good way to go about it, why not just ask her....
 

Suave88

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I took YOUR advice, it seemed reasonable and she declined. It was a good way to go about it, why not just ask her....
Just pay for dinner out or room. Do not pay for both. I assume she sees you at your place or is this a romance affair?
 

Ohso-Phresh

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While you make a good point and I understand what you are saying, it's not paying her to come to me. It's making a gesture, much like opening the door for her. She is well off and doesn't need my money and repeatedly declined. Well we are acting like a couple already, falling for each other fast. I don't want to be totally cold and aloof when she is initiating hard feelings like the is, because THAT is as bad as telling her "I LIKE YOU" or "I LOVE YOU" right out of the gate. But we do have chemistry together. No I'm not a fan of long distance relationships but I've been considering relocating and she happens to live in a state that is a viable candidate.

Big question on THAT is how long before we make that call...I don't want to do it too fast before I really deeply get to know her, but at the same time I don't want a year long distant relationship where I have to fly 5 hours to see her and then have her fly here 5 hours to see me every couple weeks. While you do get to spend time getting to know each other, it's also the highlights reel for the most part because you aren't there daily for those mundane things and those annoying things. There were some slight things, but so minor that it was nothing, so it's not like it's purely honeymoon seeing each other like this, but it's not QUITE the same as living together daily where it really starts to grind on you.

I wouldn't really say I'm doing everything I can to keep this one. She flew to see ME, not the other way around, despite her trying to suggest I go see her first. So I really haven't done anything to "keep her". We had sex, watched movies and ordered take out.

That said I am open to suggestions on how to reciprocate affection without giving too much away and not being too much of a challenge.

On an interesting note, she always initiates calls with me. As of about 2 weeks ago she started feeling comfortable enough to start calling me. When she called after arriving back home, we talked for about an hour, laughed and talked about how we both had a good time, I ended the conversation first and told her I'd text her the next day (to end the conversation on a high note, keep her wanting more and let anticipation build).
Moving to where she is even though it would work for you is generally a bad move. Better to have her move for you or move to a third place where it’s a fresh start for the both of you.

Mostly because she will have her social circle and will have higher status by default.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Moving to where she is even though it would work for you is generally a bad move. Better to have her move for you or move to a third place where it’s a fresh start for the both of you.

Mostly because she will have her social circle and will have higher status by default.
It's like the prince harry example we are all going to watch.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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jnMissouri

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Just pay for dinner out or room. Do not pay for both. I assume she sees you at your place or is this a romance affair?

She sees me at my place. My live in moved out months ago after I finally broke things off. I did buy our meals.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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